episode_0226

More than half a year has already passed since I finished my relationship with Hermel.

When I met Hermel again, fall had just begun, but winter had already passed and spring was coming to an end.

When I spent time alone, thinking about my longing, each day felt like a year and it seemed like it would never pass.

Being with Hermel made me feel like 24 hours a day were not enough.

“Umm… . Hmm… . Shu… . Wow, I hear this… .”

“Fuhu… .”

I was watching Hermel sleeping, lying on his side and talking in his sleep, which was difficult to understand because his cheek was pressed. I slowly got up from the bed, covered him with the disheveled blanket, and left the house.

As I looked at the fields, where the flowers that had been in full bloom had faded and were filled with fresh green, I sat down on the stairs, sighing at the unpleasant feeling of exhaustion and drooping of my body.

After losing most of my strength, the sensations that came every day and constantly tormented me gradually faded and soon disappeared as if washed away.

“I thought it became less frequent after meeting Hermel again… . Looks like today is the day… .”

The feeling that used to come to me three times a day at most, once a week after meeting Hermel, and recently once a month or so, has become less frequent, but it may not have disappeared completely, but it comes and torments me when I think it’s worth forgetting.

okay. It is not a phenomenon that cannot be understood. I threw away one of the things that made me who I was. It is nonsense to say that there is nothing wrong with that amount of power and presence disappearing overnight.

Of course, I don’t regret giving up my power.

“Ha… .”

So, that’s it. The feeling of loss from not having an arm and the discomfort it causes. Just about that much.

The awkwardness I feel when something disappears is unpleasant, but I don’t regret throwing away my power.

It was something that was eating away at me anyway, and it had to be released someday.

‘More than anything… .’

Because it was something I had to do for Hermel. Never have any regrets.

… Of course, contrary to what your head may think, it seems inevitable that your body becomes droopy every time this feeling comes.

“Keuung… .”

When your body sags, your mood naturally also sags.

“We will have to regain our original condition before Hermel wakes up… .”

The feeling of helplessness that came after a long time was at its peak today, as if I was regretting being separated from myself.

I clenched and unclenched my hand, which was tingling as if I had a cramp, for a while before I could relax it. When I felt some strength returning to my hands, I sighed briefly and stood up.

And the moment I turned around to enter the house, I made eye contact with Hermel, who was peeking out of the wide open door, wondering when exactly this had happened.

‘Where did I start seeing this…? ?’

I shivered for a moment as I felt my blood cool down. I thought as I rubbed my swollen arms.

You probably haven’t seen much. okay. You must have just woken up and are in a dazed state. Maybe he woke up and I wasn’t next to him, so he came out wondering what was going on.

‘… That can’t be possible.’

Still, I smiled and said hello, thinking just in case.

“Are you awake?”

“… … .”

But Hermel didn’t say anything to my greeting, and just looked at me with his normally open eyes half closed.

No matter how much strength you have lost, the experience you have accumulated so far does not disappear. You can clearly see how the situation is going without even looking at it.

In cases like this, it’s better to just ask outright.

I smiled bitterly at Hermel, who was looking at me with eyes telling me to tell him the truth.

“Where did you start seeing this?”

“From the part where Charles sits on the stairs while sighing.”

So you’re saying you’ve seen it all.

In this case, no matter what you say, it becomes just an excuse. I knew that, so I lowered my head and said.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you until now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when you felt sorry? Maybe there was something I could do to help.”

Hermel lowered his eyebrows as he said that. As if he was a little heartbroken, the moment I heard his eyebrows droop and his voice droop, it felt as if a large stone had been placed on my chest.

I closed my eyes and lowered my head, feeling a heavy feeling that could not be compared to the sense of loss I felt from losing my strength.

“I didn’t say anything on purpose because there was no proper solution and it was a problem that was getting better just by Hermel being by my side. Hermel’s greed that he did not want to worry about a problem that had no answer got the job done.”

At my words, Hermel looked at me with a sullen expression and pouted his mouth.

“It’s lethal. Anticipating everything I’m going to say and answering.”

Although he understood—no, perhaps because he understood, he was even more disappointed, Hermel said with his arms hanging limply.

If Hermel had ears and a tail, he would probably be drooping and looking pitiful right now. I smiled bitterly at the sight of the drooping figure that made me think of such things, and approached Hermel.

As I approached, Hermel blinked and looked at me, and I closed my eyes as I hugged Hermel.

“I thought I was considerate of Hermel, but it may have seemed like I didn’t tell her because Hermel wasn’t trustworthy. I won’t do that again in the future.”

“… I won’t ask you to tell me everything, even the smallest details. Still, if something is so difficult that it is noticeable on the outside, I wish you would tell me… .”

At the sound of Hermel’s voice coming from above my head, I nodded and strengthened the arm holding Hermel.

“Yes, I understand.”

For a moment, while enjoying the smell of warm sunlight and being held in Hermel’s arms, Hermel, who was quietly holding me, opened his mouth.

“That… . Charles.”

“Yes… ?”

“You said a little while ago that it was a bit difficult. You said you would get better if you were with me.”

“You did that, right?”

What kind of story is being built up like that to talk about?

While thinking about that and listening to Hermel’s heart beating faster than usual, Hermel swallowed dry saliva and continued speaking.

“Well, if you want to change your mood, traveling is perfect!?”

“That… Go?”

I’m not sure because I haven’t been out of this area since I settled here about 10 years ago.

… No, I never went on a trip that felt like a trip even in previous episodes.

When I answered in a half-questioning voice, Hermel grabbed my shoulder, slightly pulled me away, looked me directly in the eyes, and shouted.

“Come on a trip with me!”

Since there was no reason to refuse, I immediately nodded and answered.

“Good.”

“… Huh?”

Hermel probably thought I would refuse, but when he heard my answer, he reacted half a beat late and opened his eyes wide.

I burst out laughing at that and covered Hermel’s cheek with both hands and said.

“What, were you thinking that I would refuse?”

“Uh… . A little?”

I could feel the sincerity in Hermel’s words as he answered while scratching his head.

“Mmm. It seems like you truly think that way, which makes me even more curious. Why did you think that?”

“Charles rarely leaves the house unless it is necessary, and when I found out that he had been staying here for the past 10 years, I thought he was staying here for a special reason.”

“Ah.”

surely. It must have seemed that way from Hermel’s perspective. When my thoughts reached that point, I chuckled and shook my head.

“The reason I was here was to meet Hermel. It’s not like you’re stranded or can’t travel long distances.”

“Then why didn’t you move around for half a year even after meeting me?”

” After not moving here for nearly 10 years, it became a habit so I just stopped moving. And above all, it was the end of fall. I didn’t move on purpose because I could freeze to death if I moved incorrectly.”

“Oh, that’s true too.”

I smiled brightly at Hermel, who nodded, and took my hand off Hermel’s cheek.

“Okay, it has been decided that we will leave, so let’s get ready. You can’t go on a trip empty-handed.”

“Huh?”

Hermel put a question mark above his head at my words, and I smiled at Hermel.

“You’re trying to go to the sea.”

He said while stroking the cheek of Hermel, who was looking like he was wondering how he knew when he hadn’t even said anything yet.

“When I was still attending the academy, Hermel said something shortly after the Gryphon incident. If there is nothing special to do during summer vacation, let’s go to the beach.”

Hermel seemed really surprised when he heard what I said, his eyes widened and his mouth gaping.

“It was around this time too. Although at that time… . I couldn’t go because I had a lot of work to do.”

“… Did you still remember that promise?”

At the sound of his trembling voice, I raised my tiptoes, raised my height, and lightly kissed Hermel on the lips.

Take a moment to enjoy the same soft and warm lips you had then.

I gently hugged Hermel’s body, which was frozen in shock, and removed my mouth from where I was kissing it and answered in a low voice.

“I remember everything I did with Hermel.”

After saying that, I leaned my head on Hermel’s chest and smiled.

“How could I forget? Hundreds of hundreds more than the hundred years I’ve lived… . No, it was a time so precious that it could not even be compared to the time we had gone through so far.”

Thump, thump, thump. As I closed my eyes, listening to the pounding sound of my heart like a drum, I heard Hermel’s voice overhead.

“… Charles.”

“… Huh?”

I was a little surprised by that very serious voice and reacted a little late, so I blinked and looked up at Hermel.

I made eye contact with Hermel, who was looking down at me with half-opened eyes.

‘ah.’

Before the single word that came into my head could come out of my mouth, Hermel put his arm behind my knee, wrapped it around my shoulder, and lifted me up.

“Charles is bad. If you say that, how can I just get over it?”

Seeing Hermel dragging me in, breathing heavily, I tapped Hermel’s shoulder and shouted.

“Now, just a moment! It’s still daytime… !”

“There’s no one around anyway.”

“No, that’s true, but――”

Before I could finish speaking, Hermel laid me down on the bed and climbed on top of me.

“I can’t wait until night.”

――I think it will be a little later before I go on a trip.