episode_0223

Every person has a truth that they hide in their heart, or a truth that must be hidden.

No matter whether it is a good deed, a bad deed, or whatever, one thing everyone has is a secret.

But they say there are no eternal secrets. Whether it is voluntary or unintentional, the secret will eventually be revealed.

And it seems like that proverb is something that no one, no matter how much I am, can avoid.

“Charles.”

One spring day, a few months after my breakup with Hermel.

As I was preparing breakfast as usual, I heard Hermel’s voice calling me and hugging me from behind. I smiled and lightly wrapped his arms around me.

“Are you crazy this morning?”

“Ugh, I just wanted to talk about something important.”

Sensing a sense of discomfort from the lower-than-usual voice, I put down the kitchen knife I was holding for a moment and tried to turn around. Hermel must have sensed my movement, so he backed away before I could turn around.

What are you trying to say to set the mood like this? It was true that I was a little nervous because I didn’t know what would come out, but although I was nervous, I wasn’t particularly scared.

Now, I’ve come too far to be scared and think, ‘Is he really trying to blame me?’ More than anything, I realized that Hermel had no intention of doing that.

“What are you talking about?”

After wiping the water off my hands on my apron, I looked at Hermel and asked, and Hermel mumbled at my words and opened his mouth.

And the words that came out of Hermel’s mouth were more than enough to turn me into stone.

“10 years… . It’s been almost 11 years now.”

Even though we hadn’t started talking in earnest yet, I was able to figure out what Hermel was going to talk about just based on the topic he raised.

Therefore, I opened my mouth before Hermel and intercepted what was to come.

“Do you want to ask why you did that then?”

No matter how much I tried not to pay attention to it, it was a topic I couldn’t avoid, so when I asked in a slightly shaky voice, Hermel scratched his head and nodded.

Yes, when I think about it, Hermel was considerate enough to me just by waiting for several months without bringing up this story.

Originally, I was hoping that I would never have to bring up this story again… .

In the end, when the time comes to talk about it, I have to say it with my own mouth.

“You must have been curious, but you didn’t really ask, right?”

“It’s okay if you don’t tell me if you’re having a hard time. Because I was just a little curious. and… . I keep thinking that if I had known why Charles had no choice but to do that, I could have persuaded him to stop it before he did it… .”

“Fuhu… . Really… . How can you say such amazing things?”

I chuckled and patted Hermel’s head.

Hermel was now about a head taller than me, but the way he blushed but didn’t turn away made me realize that Hermel still has a cuteness that tickles my heart.

While stroking Hermel’s head, I let out a shallow sigh and lowered my hand from Hermel’s head.

The way he was glancing at his hand as if he was regretting it was very cute because it felt like he was looking at a large dog, but I just ended up laughing.

“That’s right… . Why did you have to do that then? .”

I trailed off and slowly closed my eyes.

I’m still in the past… . No, I know it’s not fair to bring up the events of the previous episode and go around cutting people off by saying, ‘This is revenge for the previous episode!’

A lot has changed, but that thought is still stuck in my head.

‘In your past life, you killed someone. So I’m arresting you for murder.’

Think about how absurd this statement is.

Past life. No, how much more so to judge the opponent by bringing in something from a completely different timeline. From the opponent’s point of view, it is literally no different from lightning.

People think that way with their head, but it doesn’t work out with their heart.

Even so, I have lived my life with the thought that I was the only one who was shady and committed evil deeds with the intention of taking full responsibility.

“… What’s wrong?”

“Ugh, no. I was worried for a while because I didn’t know where to start talking.”

… How will Hermel accept this? If I tell you everything that happened to me, how will Hermel react?

I only ran a half-simulation in my head for a brief moment, and already four things that led to bad results came out.

From Hermel rolling his eyes and going wild, to yelling at the neighbors saying he didn’t do anything wrong, to returning to the kingdom and telling them everything that happened to me, to showing hostility towards the world that tried to use me as expendable goods.

Of course, Hermel would have grown mentally over the past 10 years, so he wouldn’t go on a rampage, but it was still true that I was worried, so I muttered and thought about it for a while.

And as soon as I saw Hermel rolling his eyes and looking at me, wondering why I was so anxious, it disappeared in an instant like rain in front of a fire.

“Charles. As I said before, if it’s a difficult issue to bring up, it’s okay not to talk about it. I can understand even if there is no reason.”

“… Phew. Why are you being so obnoxious?”

“No, I saw that he was really worried, so I thought I might have asked something unnecessary, so I just… .”

Seeing Hermel scratching his head, I smiled and approached him.

“I’ll tell you. what happened to me no… . Is it correct to say that it is shown rather than told?”

“Show it in person… ?”

“There is such a thing. It’s like reading a picture book, so don’t be surprised because you won’t have any problems with your body or have any aftereffects.”

After saying that, I gently cupped Hermel’s cheeks with both hands and pulled him towards me, pressing our foreheads together.

“I lost all my strength, so I’m not as good as I used to be… . Still, you may be able to read it to some extent. Well then, let’s begin.”

“What is that――――”

Before Hermel could finish speaking, the memory transfer began, and naturally, Hermel’s words were cut off without being able to finish.

Now that he has almost lost all his power, it is unclear how much of his life before this episode he will be able to show, but at least he will be able to show his memories before the 10th episode.

… maybe.

“――Ah.”

After about an hour, when a lukewarm heat began to rise on his forehead, a short sigh came out of Hermel’s mouth, who was closing his eyes.

Three times longer than the 20 minutes I expected, but considering that each episode contains one person’s life, even if it was only an hour, it wouldn’t have contained that much information.

The moment I thought that and lifted my forehead against his, Hermel burst into tears and hugged me, as if to tell me that what I had just thought was an illusion.

“Hey, Hermel?”

“Aaaa!!”

Loud wailing.

The sight of Hermel starting to cry so sadly made me think that he would not cry like this even if the sky collapsed and the country was sold, and I was able to understand exactly what it meant to be ecstatic.

I felt myself remembering the words that Hermel had burst into tears a few months ago when he saw me crying and was startled. I patted her on the back until she calmed down.

“Huh, sha, kkeut… . Sigh… . Shar… .”

“Yes. I’m here.”

Another hour passed by like that.

Hermel is still crying. Maybe it was because I gave Hermel water occasionally for fear of dehydration, but tears were still flowing from Hermel’s eyes.

What on earth did I see and how much did I cry like this? Is this because how much memory was transferred in just one hour?

Before I lost my power, I would have sealed my memories for a while until I could clearly understand them and calm down, and then release them little by little, but now I can’t even do that.

All I could do now was pat Hermel on the back and wait for him to get over it on his own and stop crying.

“Black… . Breathe… . Hehe… .”

“You’ll collapse from dehydration, drink some water first.”

“Yes… . Umm… . Hehehe, hehehe! Whoosh, whoosh!”

“Drink slowly, slowly.”

Hermel, who was sniffling, coughed violently as if he got sick while drinking water, and I hugged him while stroking his back.

I wonder if Hermel will collapse from dehydration. I wonder if my voice will become hoarse from crying so much. Of course, your eyes will swell, so you should prepare ice. I hope I don’t catch a cold because I’m exhausted from crying so much.

For a long time, I tried to comfort Hermel, who was crying profusely while lost in a swamp of thoughts.

“New liquid――New liquid――… .”

“Ha… .”

I sighed as I looked down at Hermel, who had fallen asleep, exhausted from crying for two hours.

Since I couldn’t leave Hermel like this, I moved Hermel to the bed and laid him down.

I looked at Hermel, who was still crying and curled up, probably because he still couldn’t control his emotions. I smiled bitterly and gently wiped away Hermel’s tears.

“Did I show it to you for no reason? .”

I even thought about that for a moment. I sighed softly as I saw Hermel holding my hand tightly like a baby, and I lay down next to Hermel and hugged her tightly.

Then, to help Hermel sleep at least a little more comfortably, I patted Hermel’s back until he was breathing evenly.