episode_0193

The banquet hall where we returned after sending Seria away was still full of excitement.

what… … . It was natural for the atmosphere to be like this since the banquet was in full swing, but this atmosphere in the banquet hall shook my already turbulent emotions and made them cloudy like muddy water.

I tried hard to put a smile on my face, knowing that the person who was supposed to be the happiest and most joyous person at the banquet should not have this expression on his face, but it didn’t work as well as I had hoped.

It was strangely difficult to control my emotions today, so I headed to a reasonably quiet place.

I sat down in a suitable spot, rested my chin, and looked at them laughing and talking among themselves.

“… … .”

i envy you.

I envy those who can laugh and talk freely without any worries.

After thinking about that in a daze, I blinked and shook my head.

“What was I thinking… … .”

Why is it so confusing?

Probably the conversation with Seria was the cause.

Do I now feel guilty for the evil deeds I have committed? Is that why he is swayed by Seria’s words to pay for his sins even now?

That’s definitely not the case. If I thought I would feel guilty about killing someone, I wouldn’t have come this far.

No, rather than coming this far, I would have committed suicide several times, or just accepted the situation and accepted it all.

“Phew… … .”

So, do you regret it? I wish I had changed my mind just a little bit and lived a life similar to Seria’s, at least with my eyes only on Hermel.

Neither is this. If I had given up on this path, one day I would not be able to hold on and would collapse because of the emotions that were gnawing at me.

Even if I could overcome all those emotions, this kingdom, which had festered and rotted from the inside, would not be able to endure and would collapse first. Whether there is a rebellion, an uprising, one way or another.

“… … .”

Then why am I shaking so much?

My mind became complicated, so I closed my eyes and placed my forehead on my forehead to quietly organize my thoughts.

―Are you saying that the laughing next to Hermel was all an act? Were all those feelings fake?

At that moment, I sighed as Ceria’s words came to mind.

This is it. It was because of this one word. Ha, really… … . Should I say it’s gross, what should I say… … .

Wake. How many times has this happened already? It’s something I’ve already decided to do. If it felt like it was going to be this shaky, I shouldn’t have started in the first place.

You know. This is just for a moment. I know very well that even if I am shaken like this anyway, I will walk the path I chose again. So, please allow me to think about these things for now. It’s a worry that you won’t be able to deal with as time passes anyway.

“Why are you so dead? Did you eat something wrong?”

I was startled by the sudden voice, raised my head, looked ahead, and made eye contact with Hermel, who was holding a plate with a piece of cake on it.

When did you come? Was I that lost in thought? No, I need to fix my facial expression first.

Although my mind was saturated and jumbled, the ingrained habit naturally brought a smile to my face.

“Sorry, I have something to think about for a moment. Do you enjoy the banquet more than that?”

“Well. Not only am I not a person who particularly enjoys banquets, I have never enjoyed a banquet like this before. You know what I’m called.”

Hermel said that and shrugged his shoulders, and I smiled bitterly at him.

Yeah, I hated that. I hated the sight of him bringing up his reputation so habitually as if it was nothing.

The person you like is putting yourself down so calmly, but who in the world would be happy to see that?

“So, I was quite surprised when I received the invitation to the banquet. I wondered if he didn’t know what I was called, but looking at his reaction, it seemed like he didn’t. Even though it was sent as a courtesy, it seemed like it was written with a lot of care.”

“Hehe, you might have written something similar to other people, right?”

“Well, that could be true. But that’s none of my business, right? What matters is that I received an invitation.”

After saying that, Hermel sat down opposite me and started eating the cake.

As I looked at Hermel, I felt the turbulent emotions in my heart gradually subsiding.

“Anyway, when I arrived here with the invitation, I saw the reactions of the other guys who saw me and wondered if they had invited me just to tease me, but when I looked at your face, it seemed like that wasn’t the case.”

“You mean my face? Huhuhu, I was always smiling when greeting guests.”

“Um… … . Well, I’m not sure, but I have a feeling it might be like that. Should I say intuition? I’m not sure, but at least I know that you didn’t invite me to pick on me.”

“It’s a feeling… … . That’s hard to believe.”

“It was like that when I first saw it, but now I just understand it. If they had really invited me to eat, they would have just said hello after I arrived and gone somewhere else. is not it? Or what, do you want to say that you invited me just to pick on me?”

Hermel looked at me with mischievous eyes and pointed at me with a fork, and I smiled slightly and shook my head at Hermel’s look.

“No way.”

“Then that’s enough.”

Hermel nodded and pouted the cake before putting it in his mouth.

Even without your memories, you are still you. Suddenly, I felt that the worries that had been filling my head had disappeared like bubbles, and I slowly blinked and looked at Hermel.

“Do you like the cake?”

Hermel looked at me with a fork in his mouth at my words.

I was expecting the answer like before to be ‘It’s worth eating’ or something similar, but the words that came out of Hermel’s mouth were completely different from what I expected.

“It’s delicious. I feel like taking her to the royal kitchen to be in charge of desserts.”

When I heard that, I laughed, remembering what I heard at the academy cafe before.

“Hehe, it would really be difficult if you took me with you.”

“I will really take you with me. I just tried it. what… … . If it were like before, I would have taken you with me.”

As soon as Hermel finished speaking, the atmosphere of the gently flowing music changed.

The flower of the prom, ballroom dancing, had begun.

People naturally created a space in the center of the hall and started dancing to the music with their respective partners, and Hermel and I sat down to watch.

“You don’t dance?”

“Okay. I’m not good at dancing.”

I laughed and lied, and upon hearing that, Hermel looked at me quietly, put down the fork he was holding, and said.

“You invited me to this event and I ate delicious food, so I should repay you.”

Hermel got up from his seat while saying that, approached me and smiled handsomely.

“I’ll teach you how to dance.”

With a smile that made my heart pound, I felt the corners of my mouth tremble and continued to tell lies.

“I might step on your toe.”

“It’s okay. It would hurt less than getting stabbed by a knife.”

“If you dance with the same women, other nobles may look at you even worse. You might end up in gossip.”

“Well, I’m wearing a dress and you’re wearing a suit. Wouldn’t you be able to tell from a distance? And what are you talking about… … . It won’t get any worse than now.”

After saying that, Hermel stretched out his hand to me and said.

“So, you’re not going to dance? Dance.”

“Fuhu… … . This is an invitation, but it would be rude to refuse.”

I smiled brightly and stood up, holding Hermel’s hand.

Hermel and I, who came out to the center of the stage, held hands and slowly moved our feet to the soft and warm waltz.

Hermel’s hand, which had not been held even once since that night, was rougher and harder than before, but was still warm and reassuring.

“What, you follow the steps well?”

“Hehe, is that so? I just moved my feet as I felt, and it seems to have worked out well. And speaking of steps, they are basic steps that go back and forth.”

“… … How do you know these are basic steps? They said I can’t dance.”

“This is my first time in practice, but I studied theory hard.”

Hermel looked at me with half-closed eyes as if glaring at my words, but I smiled calmly and looked away.

“Can I move a little more?”

“As much as you want.”

Hermel grinned and stretched out his legs and fell back, and I kept my distance by following Hermel’s lead and moving forward.

Hermel and I held hands and moved with each other, sometimes violently, sometimes gently.

“Is this really your first time dancing?”

“Yes. This is really my first time. Holding a banquet like this, dancing with someone, everything.”

“Aha, hearing it like that gives me a strange feeling.”

I smiled at Hermel, who was smiling shyly, and took a slightly slower step, wrapping my arms around Hermel’s waist.

“When will you leave on your trip?”

“… … How did you know?”

“It’s a intuition.”

Hermel laughed and shook his head after hearing what I said.

“This is hard to believe.”

I smiled brightly as I looked at Hermel.

“Actually, unlike last time, the worry seemed to have disappeared from the princess’s face… … . no. Well, more precisely, I felt like I was certain of something.”

“It’s amazing that you realize something like that.”

“I pride myself on being quick to notice.”

As soon as he finished saying those words, the music ended, and I took my hand off Hermel’s waist and stepped back a little.

Then, he lightly held Hermel’s fingertips and bowed.

“Thank you for dancing with me. Princess.”

“Nothing to say.”

I slowly let go of Hermel’s hand, and Hermel lowered his arm and looked at me and said.

“We will leave around the middle of next month.”

“You’re leaving earlier than I thought.”

“What… … . I’m not obsessed with the throne like my brother, and there’s not much I can do if I stay here. And I don’t really have any regrets.”

“Is that so.”

I nodded and answered, and Hermel looked around, stretched, and sighed.

“I have to go soon.”

“Are you leaving already?”

“Well, a month isn’t that long of a time.”

One month is not such a short time. You can stay here for a day or so.

“I could take a day off today… … .”

“Ahahaha, I am grateful, but I will decline. It’s not like I’m going to inspect the next town, I have to go a long way, and there’s a lot to prepare in the meantime, so I’ll just go now. And wouldn’t it be a shame if you ruined the banquet you prepared so well because of me?”

“… … .”

It’s a banquet prepared for you. You are the main character, and you… … .

… … okay. It’s my greed.

“Is that so? It’s a shame.”

“Well, if you travel, you won’t have to stop by here again, right? I don’t know when that will happen.”

Hermel shrugged his shoulders and said so.

“Then, I should give a small, but small gift to the princess who is leaving on her trip.”

“What, did you know that I would leave and prepare for it? Isn’t there something like surveillance attached?”

“Hehehe, no way. just… … . I’m giving this to you because the car I bought recently has a lot left in stock.”

When I said that as a joke, Hermel looked at me with a slightly bored expression.

“What is that needlessly realistic reason… … .”

“Hehe, just kidding.”

Hermel, who was looking at me with a sullen expression, immediately shook his head and said.

“Well, okay. Because I like cars too. What kind of cold is it?”

“Green tangerine white tea. It’s a car called. It is said to help relieve fatigue, so it is the perfect tea for a princess going on a long journey.”

“Green tangerines? Is it like an orange?”

“Similar but different. It’s a fruit that grows on a tangerine tree… … . I also bought it from a merchant in the East, so I don’t know the details.”

“Hmm… … . Well, okay. I’ll take it well.”

“I will have servants load the items into the carriage.”

Hermel nodded and said, ‘Then I really will go. ‘Ah, the food was delicious,’ he said and headed out of the banquet hall without hesitation.

She didn’t look back even once until she left the banquet hall.

“… … .”

This will be my last meeting with you.

‘Goodbye Hermel.’

Next time I see you, I’ll take good care of you then.