episode_0180

The story after that. (8)

” Wow… I think I’m going to die… ”

My weak voice echoes in the quiet bedroom of the camper van. I just stare at the ceiling with my thick blanket covering me… but that only lasts for a moment.

” Ugh… ”

How many times have I pulled down the covers and headed straight to the bathroom to empty my stomach?

” Ugh… Ugh… Ugh… ”

Every time I exhale, I feel a trace of vomiting, and I continue to feel nausea and a headache. Of course… it wasn’t like this when I first experienced it… Is it because I realized I was pregnant? My morning sickness seems to have gotten worse after he patted my back.

” Phew… Seriously, how many months do I have to endure this…? Sigh… ”

The moment I slowly got up from my seat and was about to take out water from the refrigerator… He told me to eat the food he prepared for me when I felt better. The smell of the food wafted over me…

” Ugh… Ugh… Seriously!!! Ugh… ”

I headed to the bathroom again because of the nausea that was rising again. What happened after that… It was just the same thing over and over again. I gave up on drinking water and slowly climbed onto the bed. I caressed my lower abdomen and a half-hearted laugh came out.

Although I wasn’t as full as Yeonseo yet, I was so happy that I had a child, no, children, inside of me, the fruit of our love, and I thought that this was… this was a joy that you couldn’t know until you experienced it yourself.

” I’m… really going to be a mother… It’s amazing. But judging by the energy I feel, I’m guessing… They’re twins? If they’re born, it’ll be a really big family. Hehe… ”

As I was slowly stroking my belly in the warm blanket, laughing like that, I felt sleepy again. How can I be this sleepy even after sleeping like that…

‘Is this also… because… I’m holding a child…?’

*****

The sound of crunching snow echoes through the mountains. Winter is approaching, and it is the time when animals begin to sleep for a long time.

A man and two children were walking along the mountain path. Climbing the snow-covered mountain must have been difficult, but the children had smiles on their faces.

” Let’s go a little further and then go back. Okay? ”

” Yeah! ”

As the man spoke, the boy next to him shook his hand with a strong voice and walked forward as if he was enjoying stepping on the snow, and the girl on the other side also held his hand tightly and slowly moved next to him, looking around.

” What about Suah? Do you remember her? ”

” Hmm… I don’t know yet… It could be because of the snow… But still… For some reason… It feels a little bit… familiar. ”

” Really? Then let’s come back later when it snows and flowers bloom. Is that okay? ”

” Yes! ”

Hyunseok, Suah, and Haneul were climbing the mountain behind Bongwonsa Temple with their two children. They were following the same path that the two children had climbed with their parents.

How long had it been since they had slowly climbed the mountain path? An octagonal pavilion with its roof turned pure white welcomed them.

Even as time passes, it remains the same, quietly waiting for someone.

” Hmm… It still looks okay. Should we take a break there for now? ”

” Yeah! My legs hurt after walking a lot… ”

Hyun-seok, who cleared the snow with the wind and placed the children on it, took out the sandwiches he had made from his arms and handed them to the children.

” Okay, let’s eat this, rest a bit, and then go down? ”

” Thank you! ”

Slowly peeling off the foil wrapping, he took a bite, then another. While watching the children eat, Hyunseok patted their heads. Haneul, who had sauce on her mouth, asked.

” But… why didn’t you come with me, sister? You said you wanted to go together… ”

The sky looked slightly gloomy. Hyun-seok, seeing that, took out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the child’s mouth that was covered in sauce.

” Sister, you need to rest because you’re feeling a little sick. So don’t be too disappointed. ”

” Hey, sister. Are you in a lot of pain? ”

” No, that’s not it… Hmm… What do you think Haneul would do if he had a younger sibling? ”

” Little brother…? I don’t know… But I’d be happy if we could play together! ”

” Really? ”

” Yeah! But, why your little brother? ”

Su-ah looks at Hyun-seok with wide eyes next to Haneul, who tilts her head and rummages the sandwich in her hand, wondering why he’s asking her that.

Su-ah grabbed Hyun-seok’s clothes and asked quietly.

” That, that story, surely… ”

” Yeah. That’s probably what it looks like. ”

Su-ah, who heard Hyun-seok’s answer, was so surprised that she got up from her seat and shouted in a loud voice.

” Chu, congratulations! Uh… well… ”

Hyun-seok smiled faintly at Soo-ah, who was struggling to decide what to say, and stroked her head.

” Thank you. You don’t have to say more. ”

” Sister, what’s wrong? Whose birthday is it? Why are you so cute? ”

Suddenly, when her older sister congratulated her, Haneul kept nagging her to tell her whose birthday it was, and Suah just looked at Hyunseok with an embarrassed expression, not knowing how to respond.

” Oh my heavens. ”

” Yeah! ”

” It’s not anyone’s birthday, um… well actually, Charlotte is pregnant right now. That’s why she couldn’t come up with us. ”

” Oh…? ”

” Yeah. My brother and sister’s baby. ”

At the word baby, Haneul opened her eyes wide and shook her head from side to side, asking where the baby was.

” I want to see it too! ”

” You can’t see it now. You can see it later after it grows in your sister’s stomach. ”

Haneul asked him how long it would take to see him again, as if she wanted to see him again soon.

” Hmm… maybe next summer? ”

” Summer…? It’s too long… ”

” Really? But is Haneul going to be my older brother or older brother now? ”

” Really?! ”

” Okay! So I guess I’ll have to do well until we meet again, right? ”

” Yeah! ”

After that, they slowly got up from their seats and started coming down the mountain while enjoying the scenery while eating the sandwiches that were left behind.

As we came down the mountain, we had a fun conversation about what to name the baby.

*****

” Charlotte, can you wake up? ”

I slowly opened my eyes to the voice calling me and saw his face looking at me.

” Hey… you’re here? Haaam… ”

” How are you feeling? Are you okay? Did you eat? ”

” I’m okay now. But ugh… Sorry, I think rice will be too much for me. My stomach still feels queasy… ”

He slowly sat down on the bed, brought my head to his shoulder, and put his hands on my stomach.

” It seems like our child is really giving mom a hard time~ ”

” Really? Really… It might be even more so because it’s ‘two’. ”

At those words, the hand that had been caressing my stomach stopped and two large, warm hands grabbed my shoulders.

” Hey, wait? What did you just say? ”

He looked surprised and his voice was slightly excited, but it was only then that I realized I hadn’t told him the truth.

” Ah… that’s right… that’s actually… ”

He slowly lowered his hands that were holding my shoulders and placed mine on top of them, feeling his warmth as he explained.

Using my divine power to perceive my surroundings or to perceive my body for healing, I realized that the energy within me was ‘two’.

When he heard that, he hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Thank you,” with tears in his eyes. He slowly patted his back.

” Seriously… What am I supposed to do if I start crying over something like this? It’s only going to get harder from here on out, huh? Baby, daddy. ”

” Yeah… Sorry. I thought there was one, but I guess I was a little surprised when you said there were two. ”

” Don’t worry too much. You’ll be born healthy. And… ”

” And…? ”

Thinking about what I saw… maybe these two children… might have the spirits of those two people.

Yes, his sister Patruna, the goddess of love and purification who helped me. And… Thanatos, the goddess of death who tried to destroy the world due to her grief over the death of her beloved mother.

The souls of these two…

But I don’t know if it’s okay to tell him this story.

” Hmm… Oh, now that I think about it, I had a dream… Was it a ‘prenatal dream’? ”

” What was your dream? ”

” I had a dream where a golden star and a black star entered my stomach. Maybe that’s why I had twins in my stomach? Haha… ”

After listening to my story, he thought about something for a moment.

” Charlotte… is that by any chance… ”

” Hmm… maybe, right? I think the same way you think. ”

She slowly caressed the place where the child was and opened her mouth to him.

” Surely… these two children in my stomach are the children with the souls of Patruna and Thanatos? ”

” Charlotte… ”

” You know? I… felt it when I broke up with those two. I don’t know when, but I’m sure… I’m sure… we’ll meet again. And I thought. If… the day comes when we meet again…! When that day comes, I want to meet and laugh together. Up until now, we’ve fought and hated each other, but when we meet again, I hope it’ll be a day when we can have fun talking. ”

” Sure, that’s how it’ll be. Now we don’t have to fight each other, right? ”

” Really? Oh, but we might fight a little bit… ”

” Why? Do you think so? ”

” That’s… family? Just because we’re family doesn’t mean we necessarily understand each other. Of course, there will be fights. ”

” Ahem!! Then, what, this dad has to step up! ”

” Haha! What are you saying~ ”

As I was laughing in his arms, I heard footsteps coming towards us.

” Sister! ”

” Did the sky come? I’m sorry I can’t go with you. ”

” No! It’s okay! My brother told me. My sister is having a baby. ”

” Really? I’m sorry though. Next time, let’s definitely go together, right? ”

” Yeah! ”

Haneul slowly climbed onto the bed and leaned back next to me, and Suah came up to him.

” Oh, sis. Well… Congratulations. You, you’re really a mom now. ”

” Thank you. But even if these kids are born, I’m still Su-ah and Haneul’s mother. I may have many shortcomings, but… I still have no intention of giving up on you two. ”

” Oh, sis… ”

” Come here. It’s cold, so let’s all stick together today. Got it? ”

” Yes! ”

*****

It was the season of snow. Warmth was flowing out of the camper van, melting away the cold.

Me, leaning back in his arms on a large bed. And next to me, the two children in my arms and the two children in my belly.

One side is the children who inherited my blood and the other side is the children who I and he took in.

But I will love them all without discrimination, because these children are all children who have lost loved ones.

Because they are children who need love more than anything else.

And I am the ‘mother’ of these children.