episode_0141

I looked at the picture for a moment, then turned off the lamp and returned it to its original place.

Whoosh, the lamp went out and the preparation room became dark again. I just turned my back and left the preparation room.

I came out of the preparation room, leaving the smell of coffee and oil lingering in my nose, closed the room door, and chuckled.

“Hehe… … . Hehehe… … .”

Isn’t it possible, just maybe, that he will become someone who accepts his love? I thought of Priscilla, who must have been drawing that picture with such illusions and expectations.

As someone who had been in unrequited love for over 20, maybe 30 years, it was so funny that he immediately turned his eyes to me just because I treated him a little kindly, that I couldn’t help but laugh.

Aside from feeling bad about being a substitute for my mother, this situation itself was fun.

The story of a professor who loves someone who cannot and should not be reciprocated. There’s no way it wouldn’t be fun.

‘It bothers me a little to take advantage of someone’s love… … .’

It’s strange that we even come this far and care about such things.

As I looked at the tightly closed door of the preparation room, I wiped the smile off my face and placed my hand on the lab door handle.

* * *

“I didn’t expect the meeting to last this long… … .”

Priscilla quietly expressed her dissatisfaction as she looked at the sky where the sun had already begun to set.

It’s not that you can’t understand. From the spring festival incident to the incident where a student was kidnapped by a griffon.

Two major incidents that could have jeopardized not only the academy’s reputation, but also its future, occurred before the end of the first semester.

If you think about it that way, it’s true that you finished early enough just because you finished before the sun completely set.

“Keuung… … .”

I know I finished early, but I’m still tired.

As expected, the meeting lasted over 3 hours. It’s weirder to say you’re not tired.

“Ha… … .”

She took a deep breath and adjusted the mountain of documents in her arms.

Ttokak, ttokak, unlike on weekdays, the hallways of the academy, which were empty of students, were so quiet that the entire hallway could be filled with the sound of one person’s shoes.

At dusk, a space where no sound other than the sound of one’s own shoes can be heard, a place where a tired and tired mind and countless memories remain like stains.

All of that moved Priscilla’s mind, swinging from side to side like a hypnotic pendulum. No, maybe it wasn’t the pendulum that was shaking but the heart.

“… … .”

Priscilla, who was walking in a daze, stopped for a moment and looked at the empty hallway.

Memories of the past filled up in the empty hallway.

* * *

“Sister Genea!”

“Oh my, Priscilla. It’s dangerous to run in the hallway. What if I fall?”

“Hehe, I saw my sister so I stopped without realizing it… … .”

“Hehe… … . I really can’t stop you.”

In the family’s long, bleak hallway, similar to the academy’s hallway. When I found my sister first and ran to her, she always smiled and welcomed me.

From the soft voice that admonished me, to the face full of kindness that looked at me, to the warm hand that stroked my hair.

When my sister was not yet a student at the academy, all her love was mine. It was just for me.

“Sister, what is this?”

“That’s the recipe for a healing potion. Shall we make it together next time?”

“Yes! Good!”

okay. My sister gave me love on behalf of my mother who died giving birth to me.

After my mother passed away, my father, who spent every day drinking alcohol, taught me many things on behalf of my father.

no… … . It was given.

“I’m sorry, I’ll see you again when vacation comes.”

“Yes… … .”

After my sister entered the academy, she did not return to the mansion. Even during vacation, she just sends a letter saying she’s sorry. He did not return to the mansion.

It was sad, but I could understand. The academy was far away from the mansion, and it was impossible to travel that distance every day.

And hell began after my sister left.

“Look at your sister. Didn’t you miss out on being the top student at the academy in this exam? But what are you?”

After my sister left my side, my father’s verbal abuse continued every day.

The level of the verbal abuse increased the longer my sister was at the academy.

“I can’t even do basic arithmetic. I can’t even write. I can’t believe you’re not even good at medicine and potions, which your sister, who you follow so well, taught you.”

“I just don’t understand how someone like you came out from under me.”

“How about trying to be a little bit like your sister?”

As a child, I couldn’t understand my father who scolded me for being less capable than my older sister, calling me an inferior bitch.

Am I bad? am i wrong? My sister didn’t say that. Why does my father hate me so much?

“Why are you saying such harsh things… … ?”

One day, unable to overcome the resentment and doubts that had accumulated over the years, I asked that question.

When my father heard that question, his face contorted on the spot… … .

match!!

He hit my cheek.

“She may be a poor bitch, but since she is in my blood, I thought she would have a certain level of tact, but what? Harsh words?”

My cheeks were numb, and there was a bitter taste of blood in my mouth.

As I stared at my father in a daze at the pungent smell of alcohol, my father, who was gulping down the entire bottle of wine, looked down at me and shouted.

“I can’t bear to think that your mother died to give birth to a poor bitch like you.”

The violence that started like that only stopped when my body was about to die.

Because of the blood, I couldn’t see clearly, and the sounds around me were so buzzing that I couldn’t hear properly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. sorry… … . sorry… … !”

“Tsk. Clean it up. It’s annoying.”

I was carried to my room by the workers, and with their help, I succeeded in saving my life.

A few days after that happened, the first thing I thought of when I came to my senses was this.

‘Why am I different from my sister?’

Why am I inferior to my sister? Why can’t I be like my sister? Why me, why, why, why.

The unanswered questions that followed one after another soon turned into jealousy and ate away at me.

What I chose to do to find the answer to the questions that were piling up because no one was giving me the answer was to meet my sister in person and ask her.

I slept less and ate less. I didn’t even leave the room unless it was absolutely necessary. Of course, washing was a luxury.

Since I was inferior to my sister, I had to put in several times more effort than her in everything. I gritted my teeth and concentrated on studying.

“Chairman… … .”

A year later, I took the academy entrance exam and was able to enter the academy with second place grades.

This time, I didn’t win. I couldn’t get over it again. My sister said she entered school at the top of her class. I am second chair. After all, I can’t be like my sister. You have to be perfect like your sister.

I randomly tore up the letter with the two letters “second person” written on it.

“――, ―――”

My father said something, but I couldn’t hear it. I just nodded at what he said.

That was my own effort to hold on to my collapsing spirit.

In a situation where my mind was going in and out, I was absent-mindedly doing what I had to do, as if I was drunk in a dream, and then I came to my senses.

It was the moment when I heard the voice of the person I wanted to hear most in the world, but the person I most wanted to hear in the world.

[We sincerely welcome all of you who have entered the academy.]

When I looked up at the still kind voice, what I saw was my sister’s face, still smiling kindly.

I’m having such a hard time, how can you smile like that? Wasn’t that kindness just for me? Was I nothing? Why do you smile like that at other people?

The sister inside me is moving away. No, it wasn’t that I was moving away, I was just falling apart.

While the entrance ceremony was going on, I just stared blankly at my sister.

“Priscilla! It’s been a while!”

After the entrance ceremony was over, my sister came to see me and spoke to me with a friendly smile.

As feelings of inferiority, self-loathing, envy, and jealousy collided and mixed together, I was at my limit just to maintain my sanity, so I slapped away my sister’s hand that was reaching toward me.

“Priscilla… … ?”

“Don’t talk or walk. Because I’m not like your little brother.”

There’s no way a weak person like me could be the younger sibling of someone as perfect as my sister.

I wanted to say that, but for some reason my mouth didn’t say the words I wanted. I couldn’t be honest.

Because if I were to tell the truth, it was correct. Because if you ask an obvious question out loud, you get hit.

“Ah… … .”

“If I don’t have any business, I’ll just leave. Live without worrying about me.”

I said that and left.

That’s how my relationship with my sister began to distort, including my feelings.