episode_0110

The abdominal pain that started in the early hours of the morning only worsened as time passed. I felt like I was being led by my husband’s hand, guided by the doctor, and taken to the hospital in front of my entire family.

Due to the pain, my memory was not clear, but it seemed like that was the case.

I’m in pain. Other than expressing that I am in pain, I don’t know anything else.

The pain I felt was different from the occasional discomfort or vigorous movement.

Even when I stayed still, tears would flow, and it felt like I would scream if I exerted even a little bit of strength.

But I couldn’t show such a spectacle in front of my family, especially in front of my husband.

Your face had turned pale since you mentioned the pain in the early morning, and seeing you in so much pain would surely make you suffer.

If I hadn’t convinced my husband, he would have followed me to the delivery room and made my heart ache even more.

And I don’t want to share this pain with someone I love. This is the pain I have to endure alone.

That was truly fortunate, but that didn’t mean the pain in my body lessened.

As time passed, the pain only intensified.

Even my clear vision was swaying strangely as if submerged in water, and I couldn’t hear the doctor’s shouting clearly.

I just followed the doctor’s signals, exerted my strength, writhed in pain, and screamed.

I squeezed out every last bit of strength I had, repeating the eternal process of squeezing and squeezing, and when the doctor’s signals stopped, I felt completely drained of energy, as if I had fainted for a moment.

“Honey… You really… You’ve been through so much…”

After a long time of catching my breath, I could open my eyes to my husband’s trembling voice.

My husband was on his knees, holding something and crying uncontrollably.

“He… hehehe… I thought this would happen… I told you not to come in… Honey… don’t cry…”

If you cry, I’ll want to cry too. Please don’t cry, I’m begging you.

“Honey, look at this. Our Star. Our Star… named Sung-ah. Kang Sung-ah.”

My husband showed me what he was holding. In that moment, the crying of a baby filled my ears as my hearing began to return.

Even in my blurry vision, the cloth wrapped around the baby that my husband was holding became clear.

My husband was holding a newborn baby wrapped in a cloth.

A tiny newborn baby with closed eyes and a fierce cry.

“Honey. Honey?”

Although my husband called me while I couldn’t take my eyes off the baby, I couldn’t respond.

I just stared at the baby in my husband’s arms, Star, who was squirming.

When I saw his tiny hand open wide, I could feel my arm involuntarily reaching out to him.

As his fingers reached out to touch the baby, they were caught by the tiny, red, adorable hand.

That little hand grabbed my index finger.

“Waaah!! Waaah!! Waaah… Waa…”

A sense of calm came over the baby’s previously restless eyes. The baby, who had stopped squirming, breathed softly, looking peaceful as if he were sleeping.

In that peaceful moment of the sleeping baby, I could see him.

The half of me that I had longed to meet, the half I wanted to find.

“You… always rotting inside me…”

You should have lived well with your birth mother, unlike me, who was abandoned. You should have been happy living in such a good home. Why did you live like that? Why couldn’t you forget me?

“Acting on your own…”

If you had saved me, I would have been happy. Making a contract with some grim reaper or whatever, and putting me in their body as if I were their brother. And then just disappearing as they please.

“…But I’ll forgive you.”

I tightened my grip on the finger he clenched.

“…Let’s not part ways this time. I won’t let go of this hand. I will… I will definitely protect you…”

I promise.

We will spend many times more together during the time we were apart.

I will make the difficult times you endured more enjoyable.

I will be by your side many times more during the times you felt lonely.

“…Honey.”

This time, I am not alone. Because your husband, your new father, is here with us.

The three of us together, becoming happy.

I promise as your mother, not your brother.

*

After having enough time to recover, I was able to return to my in-laws without any visible signs of the pain I had been writhing in. Well, it was mainly because my family was making a fuss at the hospital, urging me to recover quickly.

My grandfather and father were crying and wailing, my mother was causing a commotion saying, “My child can’t die!” and my uncles were at a loss, while Minjeong and my mother fainted…

It was harder to keep suffering in front of those people.

The only one who remained calm was my brother Dan. His words of “You did well, you were strong” were a source of strength.

I never imagined that my brother Dan would comfort me.

Of course, he couldn’t compare to my husband.

If my husband hadn’t been there, it would have been difficult to endure.

“Our Star… No, Seong-ah is really beautiful. Isn’t she, honey?”

My husband smiled as he looked at the baby in the cradle.

I’ve seen him smile many times, but this is the first time he smiles as innocently as a child.

I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of the baby at this moment.

“Yes, she’s really beautiful… She looks so much like someone, right?”

As he spoke with a sly look, my husband grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear.

“She must be pretty because she looks like you. She looks exactly like you, doesn’t she?”

Thump.

That kind of talk doesn’t seem good for someone in postpartum care. Yes, it’s not good! My heart is pounding and my mind is racing! My face and body are hot!

Yes, of course she looks like me since she’s my daughter. But she’s also your beautiful daughter, so of course she looks cute like you, right?

Look at this! She looks exactly like you when she’s sound asleep!

“I, I think she looks more like you than me, don’t you think?”

“Huh? Oh, no. She looks cuter because she looks like you…”

“But you’re plenty cute too~”

Thump.

My husband’s face turned as red as a boiled octopus.

This man. He’s a beast in bed, but is he not a little weak to the word “cute”? Honestly, he is cute, but if he reacts like this, my heart flutters again.

“Heh. No, you’re the cute one, honey.”

Turning his head, my husband’s voice trails off slightly. Don’t worry. Your cuteness has become immune to my words.

His face is quite flushed.

“No, the cute one is our husband—”

“Ah-oo… Ah-oo!”

Making too much noise, our little star… I mean, Seonga, wakes up from his nap.

As we had asked the family not to make a fuss, disturbing Seonga’s short nap, aren’t we already disqualified as parents from the start…

However, upon waking up, Seonga doesn’t cry, but instead looks back and forth between me and my husband, squirming with bright eyes.

“Ah-oo! Ah! Oh… Oh…”

I’ve heard that babies cry right away if they don’t like something. But our Seonga doesn’t cry at all, not even making a sound.

I hope nothing hurts him. This mom is more than just worried.

“Oh… Op… Appa…”

“What!?”

My husband and I lock eyes at Seonga’s words. Judging by my husband’s reaction, it seems like I didn’t mishear. That means Seonga just…

“D-did you hear that, honey? O-our Seonga just… looked at me and called me ‘dad’?”

My husband’s eyes widen and he raises his voice. It seems like what Seonga just said is a big shock, and he must be excited.

Yes, he’s definitely very excited right now. This man’s energy level is no joke.

“Yes, I’m your dad, Seonga! Let’s try it again, dad! Dad!”

“Ah! Ah! Ah-oo!”

My husband, all excited, tries to talk to Seonga, but Seonga doesn’t make the sound he did a while ago.

…Well, even if my husband sounded like a dad, I clearly heard “oppa” in my ears… Seonga called me “oppa” while looking at me.

You, too, remembered.

But that’s not a problem at all.

No matter what happened in the past, I am still the mother who gave birth to this child, and in this life, we will continue to be together as mother and daughter. We were siblings, and now we have reunited as a family.

“Oh, what should I do? Seonga learned ‘dad’ before ‘mom’. What if she grows up and only looks for dad? What if she says she’ll marry dad in the future!”

Already foreseeing the future of a pitifully doting dad.