episode_0061

Seo Isu’s performance was strange.

The one who noticed it the most was the director of photography.

“What’s going on? Why is this happening?”

He was an experienced director of photography, but he was genuinely perplexed for the first time in a long time.

The composition of the video was distorted.

Of course, it wasn’t just because the composition was off that he was so flustered.

The director of photography had a lot of experience.

So he had experienced all sorts of things.

It was common for the composition to be distorted for various reasons.

An inexperienced actor could ignore their blocking.

Sometimes outdated equipment could cause issues.

And occasionally, ignorant staff members could incorrectly implement equipment or set design.

But…

“There’s nothing wrong at all. Why is this suddenly happening?”

At this moment.

Everything reflected on the screen was functioning normally.

There was no reason for the composition to be distorted.

“I can’t just sit still.”

He was the director of photography responsible for the video equipment and its results.

If there was a problem, he needed to quickly identify the cause and address it.

He carefully observed the set.

And eventually, he was able to identify the cause.

“Seo Isu.”

The director of photography muttered a name as if spellbound.

Seo Isu.

The rookie actress who had sparked controversy at the beginning of the project.

It was because of this actress that the composition of the video was being disrupted.

Not because Seo Isu was delivering a poor performance.

On the contrary.

“It seems like she’s being sucked in.”

It was because Seo Isu was displaying such explosive acting skills.

The character of Hyesoo that Seo Isu created captivated the attention of everyone on set.

Even the director of photography himself.

The camera is the director of photography’s eye.

Because the director of photography’s gaze was fixed on Seo Isu, the camera naturally focused more on her than planned.

“Is this even possible?”

With his wealth of on-set experience, he couldn’t understand it at all.

She was just an actress.

While she played a role that was more important than other elements.

She was just one of the many moving parts on set.

Furthermore, Seo Isu’s acting was simply shining brighter than expected, with no deviation in blocking or obstruction of other actors in the frame.

Yet, with just her shining performance, she was causing this strange, incomprehensible phenomenon.

“…”

The director of photography couldn’t understand the situation at all.

So he was perplexed.

But soon, his perplexity faded from his mind.

He was captivated by Seo Isu’s acting.

He was completely overwhelmed by the emotions she exuded.

He wasn’t perplexed by the emotions of the character she portrayed.

So instead of perplexity, the director of photography was filled with deep despair and…

And beyond that, the genuine emotions of Hyesoo.

It wasn’t just the director of photography.

“…”

“…”

“…”

Everyone on set was experiencing the same phenomenon.

They were all seasoned professionals.

But at this moment.

They were unable to perform their duties as proper staff members.

Yes.

As staff members, they were simply becoming spectators of the actress’s performance.

Episode 13.

#God 60

-The Hideout of the Criminal

I gazed in astonishment.

Standing on the desolate land where crimson ashes and bones turned to dust, and the barren wind blew, I watched Doe-yeon heading towards Jinbeom.

“…”

Countless thoughts swirled in my mind.

Various emotions that I had never felt before overwhelmed me.

“Ah, ugh.”

I am disabled.

An inadequate human who knows nothing about the human heart.

So, even at this moment.

I couldn’t understand what this emotion was that pushed me into endless agony.

However, that emotion was,

Sharp enough to hurt those it touched.

It was a feeling that hurt even me, who held it without handles on both sides.

Perhaps people might say,

That feeling is a self-destructive urge.

Sometimes, some mental health professionals call it suicidal impulse.

But somehow, I felt that was slightly different from the truth.

I glanced back.

Doyeon kept walking.

With a knife in hand.

To destroy something important to someone.

She acted as if her desire to destroy was not particularly directed at anyone.

She could have hurt Jinbeom.

Even if the knife turned back and stabbed Doyeon herself, she didn’t seem to care much.

“….”

I muttered.

I thought I might know the name of my emotion when I looked at Doyeon.

It was probably because the emotion that was dominating Doyeon right now was so similar to mine.

Sometimes, things reveal a clear form only when observed with objectivity.

So, I thought I might know the name of my emotion.

I understood why Doyeon was behaving like that.

When everything feels like a failure, and there seems to be no hope for improvement.

Some people just want to let go of everything.

With only resentment left on that subject, they wish to destroy everything connected to themselves.

So Doyeon said harsh things,

So Doyeon didn’t want to make sure Jinbeom received fair punishment, but rather hoped to disappear from this world comfortably.

I am an inadequate human who doesn’t understand people’s hearts.

But even so, I knew the name of such an emotion.

People called it self-destruction.

“….”

Doyeon didn’t stop walking.

Now, the distance between her and Jinbeom was just a step away.

Even if she stretched her arm out, the knife blade would reach Jinbeom.

I thought for a moment.

So, wanting to self-destruct.

Watching Doyeon wanting to self-destruct.

What should I choose after all?

“….”

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

It’s probably true that Doyeon used me.

The fact that I, who considered her my rule, was abandoned, would not change.

My world was completely shattered by that, and it was irreversible.

So, I didn’t know if leaving it like this was the most comfortable way.

Doyeon was going to ruin everything by self-destructing.

So, the fair punishment that she would receive for using me and abandoning me would come to her.

It was a reasonable choice for me to self-destruct.

My heart was almost close to that choice.

“….”

I thought again.

Looking at Doyeon’s face in despair.

Because I am disabled.

So, I don’t know how to interpret people’s faces.

I didn’t know if that person was smiling. Crying.

Whether they were happy or angry, I didn’t know.

I had never been curious about such things in my life.

“….”

But it’s strange.

I could understand what kind of feelings Doyeon was holding to the point of being poignant.

Perhaps the emotion she is holding right now is so devastated and empty that it is similar to me, a person with a personality disorder.

The reason could be anything.

I understood Doyeon.

And so, I hoped she wouldn’t be as broken as me, a disabled person.

That was….

The first experience of empathy I had ever had since I was born.

It was an experience of understanding.

An experience of forgiveness.

“….Ugh, ugh.”

I was crying as if a dam had burst.

I was crying as I moved towards Doyeon.

***

“….”

Everyone on the set was engulfed in silence.

“Uh, um.”

“Ah….”

They occasionally opened their mouths, but they couldn’t figure out what to say.

Mysterious fervor and emotions dominated the set.

Yet, they were professionals on the set.

Even amidst conflicting emotions, they tried their best to fulfill their roles.

They fixed the lights and reflectors.

They raised the boom mic high.

They utilized the camera walk along the rails.

It was truly a strange sight.

Unimaginable, the phenomenon caused by just one actress.

That was why.

“…….”

“…….”

Everyone remained silent, but.

‘This…’

They shared a certain conviction.

‘This, it works.’

‘This scene will definitely explode.’

It was an acting and scene that could not help but instill confidence.

Because of that conviction.

People felt a lukewarm passion amidst the silence.

Perhaps…

We might be in the midst of creating the best iconic scene of the year.

It was because of that thought.

In that fervor.

The staff did their jobs.

The actors continued their acting.

And…

“Haha.”

Shin Ji-hoo, who had been watching everything, let out a low laugh.

“That’s right….”

It was because of Seo Yi-soo’s acting.

She shone brighter than anyone else.

“So that’s why.”

Seo Yi-soo shone, and perhaps.

“So, Mom left me.”

Thinking that her mother who had abandoned her must have shone like Seo Yi-soo.

Her mother who abandoned her just to act.

She wanted to understand her.

She hoped she could understand.

So she asked Seo Yi-soo.

Act brighter than anyone else.

I’ll watch over you.

And it came true as she wished.

Seo Yi-soo shone in her acting.

And so.

Although there were still some incomplete corners, Shin Ji-hoo could now speculate on the reasons why her mother did what she did.

So he smiled.

That smile…

“A person can shine like that. It’s impossible not to see something like a child.”

His painful realization was embedded in that smile.

So even as he looked at the shining Seo Yi-soo, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness and couldn’t just laugh joyfully as usual.

Shin Ji-hoo smiled sadly.

Like his mother. Like a flash, he looked at the shining Seo Yi-soo.

He watched his actress perform.

She still shone brightly.

Truly.

To the point of falling in love.

And so.

Shin Ji-hoo.

The next day, and the day after that.

He appeared wearing a newly bought scarf.