episode_0056

17. Towards Nodeul Island (3)

Elina could only watch Charlotte run away, throwing away her hand.

There were times when he suddenly ran away, but since it was an agony he had experienced before, he just watched.

Of course, I knew that it was my fault for doing this when we just met, so I was at a loss as to what to do.

” Ah, maybe I pushed you a little too hard…? But it’s better to make decisions about your identity quickly… so you won’t regret it. ”

As I was scratching my head looking at the direction Charlotte had run off to, Yeonseo and Minhee suddenly came back and asked me as if they had seen Charlotte running off, so Elina turned her gaze away.

” Sorry… I guess I made you a little upset. ”

” Sister? What are you talking about? What on earth did you do to make someone you just met today mad?! ”

” That… That kind of thing happened. Between me and that kid… ”

” What is that? Tell me quickly before I get mad…! ”

” Sorry, this is… Charlotte and I’m not allowed to tell you, it’s a secret. I don’t know if she’ll want to tell you later… ”

” Is this girl real?! ”

Yeonseo started running in the direction Charlotte had run as she saw Minhee hitting Elina on the head with a hammer and starting to strangle her neck.

” Yeonseo?! ”

” Unnie Minhee. Keep fighting until I get back. ”

” Huh…? Yeah, I’m off. ”

As Yeonseo ran towards Charlotte and disappeared, Minhee released her arm from around Elina’s neck.

” What are you going to do, Unnie? This is the first time I’ve seen Yeonseo so angry? ”

” Oh my, how did it end up like this… ”

” What on earth did you do to make that happen… ”

” Haa, I wish I could tell you, but I’m sorry this is a secret between me and Charlotte. ”

Minhee washed his face dry and then hit Elina’s head again with a ‘bang!’ sound before opening his mouth.

” Be sure to apologize to Charlotte later, okay? ”

” Yeah… ”

” What did you do to Charlotte? ”

At the sudden cold voice, Elina and Minhee hugged each other and shivered, then turned their heads back and smiled, but anyone who saw them could tell that they were angry.

Hyunseok was standing there with a cold smile.

*****

I ran, I ran, I kept running.

My body was screaming at me that I couldn’t run anymore because I was out of breath, but I ignored it and kept running.

Before I knew it, I was standing in the playground behind the National Assembly building.

I don’t know why I ran away from Ms. Elina and came here.

However, a corner of my heart continued to hurt like crazy.

” Huh, what is it, what is it…! ”

As I sat there catching my breath due to the constant pain, a ‘black girl’ suddenly appeared before my eyes.

” What the… are you? What the heck…? ”

The energy I felt from that girl was the most alien energy I had ever felt, and it felt like I shouldn’t get close to her.

Out of breath and with a stabbing pain in my heart, I could only watch the girl approach me.

The girl who came to me like that covered my face with her hands, moved her mouth as if to say something, and then tapped my forehead with her index finger.

” Ah… aaah!! ”

I felt a pain that felt like it was stabbing my heart and a pain that felt like it was going through my head.

” ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ ”

I started to curl up in pain so severe that I couldn’t even make a sound, with my head ‘down’, and gradually the world around me grew dark.

As the girl’s laughter came in a mocking voice, I gradually began to laugh too, and soon, I lost consciousness as only my laughter and that of the girl could be heard.

*****

I slowly began to open my eyes at the feeling of my hair being touched.

When I opened my eyes, feeling something cold cooling me down, Yeonseo was looking at me.

” Yeonseo…hey…? ”

” Yeah, it’s me. Are you okay? You suddenly ran over here, so I chased after you, but you were curled up and collapsed here, so do you know how surprised I was…?! ”

Although Yeonseo spoke to me in a tone that seemed angry, tears were slowly falling from her eyes.

” I’m…sorry. ”

” Oh my, I was so worried when I found out what had happened! This damn thing! ”

” I’m… okay. Okay, so don’t cry. ”

I slowly got up while wiping away the tears flowing from Yeonseo’s eyes.

‘Huh…? There’s something strange…’

Slowly raising my body and examining various places with my divine power, I saw that there was something black located in the area where my heart was.

It was… definitely a feeling I knew.

‘What is this? The energy of the evil god Thanatos?! Why?!’

The moment I tried to purify myself with divine power! The evil energy that had settled in my heart began to burn fiercely as if it had been given fuel, and soon began to spread that energy into my head.

” Ugh! ”

I just sat down with my head in my hands, and when Yeonseo tried to come closer to me, I raised my hand to signal her not to come.

” What’s wrong?! What’s going on?! ”

” Okay… Just wait a minute… Heh heh… ”

As I withdrew my divine power to purify the evil spirit’s energy, only then did the evil spirit’s energy subside again, and after some time, it seemed to have completely disappeared and I could no longer feel it in my body.

‘What the heck… was it? Now… is it gone?’

To reassure Yeonseo, who was looking at me with concern, I brushed the dirt off my knees and smiled, telling her to go back.

” Really… are you okay? ”

” It’s okay~ Don’t worry, I just had a headache! ”

” Sigh, I’ll believe you for now… but if anything happens, be sure to tell me. Okay? ”

” Okay~ Okay, let’s go quickly. Hyunseok will wait. ”

” Yeah. ”

I tried to walk ahead as if nothing happened and asked Yeonseo what happened with Elina.

He said he just ran away because he was embarrassed by the embarrassing story.

Well, it didn’t seem like she believed it, but I was still a little relieved to see Yeonseo making concessions for me.

*****

When we got back, the three who had been waiting welcomed us and I apologized to everyone and we all went into the tent.

On the way into the tent, Hyunseok grabbed my hand as if he wanted to say something to me, but I was surprised by his sudden touch and shook his hand away.

Hyunseok, who thought I was refusing, smiled bitterly and said that we should talk later before going into the tent first.

” Haa, today really isn’t my day. ”

When we entered the tent, there was quite a bit of food on the table.

Perhaps, Hyunseok prepared a little more for the two people who had grown up. Well, this time, it was just simple rice balls and side dishes, rather than using many ingredients.

” Hyunseok’s cooking is always amazing~ ”

As Chae Min-hee was saying that and trying to quickly eat a rice ball, Elina’s hand flew towards her and stopped her.

” Ouch! Why are you doing that~ ”

” In Korea, the land of Eastern etiquette, the oldest person goes first! Where are you going to eat first! ”

” Wow, if that was meant to be funny, it really was funny. ”

” You weren’t saying that to make me laugh, were you? ”

” You’ve been an elf for over 200 years, what are you talking about, the Land of Courtesy in the East? Stop talking nonsense. Sister~ ”

” Ugh! ”

” Yes! Do you want to be treated like an elder? Grandma. ”

When I smiled slightly at the sight of Elina puffing out her cheeks in anger and glaring at Chae Min-hee, Hyun-seok and Yeon-seo also started to laugh.

Perhaps, Ms. Elina and Ms. Chae Min-hee did the play on purpose to lighten the mood after what happened just now.

” Puhehe, if you were trying to make me laugh on purpose, it was a really funny play. ”

When I said that, Chae Min-hee shook her head.

” No, Charlotte. I’m serious. ”

” Yes…? What is that…? No, right…? ”

When I looked at her in surprise, Elina began to avoid eye contact.

‘No, really? A person who has been an elf for over 200 years really does something like that…?’

” Charlotte, that elf grandma is more… old-fashioned than you’d think. ”

” A…old fart?! I’m not like that! That… That’s it! That… Even if I became an elf, I still have pride in being Korean… ”

” Look, isn’t it really ugly? ”

” Oh my…! ”

However, as Elina and Chae Min-hee continued to change the topic and talk while eating together, the awkward atmosphere became soft again.

We were all able to enjoy a pleasant meal together.

As a result, Chae Min-hee kept clinging to me and asking me to call her ‘Unnie Min-hee’ like Yeon-seo, and I got annoyed because I had to pull it off a little.

And now what am I doing…? I’m taking off my clothes in the bathroom to wash up with Ms. Elina.

Ms. Elina has been glancing at me from time to time. Perhaps she’s glancing at me like that because of what she did to me earlier.

” Haa, I’m not angry anymore, so don’t look at me like that. ”

” Oh, yeah. But let me apologize first. I’m sorry. ”

I waved both my hands at Elina’s action of bowing her head to me while bending her waist at a right angle.

” It’s okay, raise your head. Really… ”

” Thank you for accepting. First, can I go in and finish talking? ”

” Yes, let’s do that… ”

With a whoosh, the water in the bathtub overflowed, and Elina and I were soaking in the water, facing each other.

As time passed and water droplets began to drip from the ceiling due to the steam created by the hot water, Elina opened her mouth.

” Why… The reason I asked if you decided whether you are a woman or a man is because in the end, you have to choose. ”

” Are you talking about choice? ”

” Yeah, how long has it been since you became a woman? ”

” It’s been a month and a half now… a little over. ”

” I see. By any chance, that… Women’s Day too… ”

” I did it. ”

” Yeah. ”

Hmm, I didn’t know talking to Ms. Elina would feel this awkward.

I definitely wanted to talk about radio when we met, but how did it end up like this?

” So, what are you trying to say? ”

” Hmm, if… just in case… have you ever thought about whether you would love a woman or a man? ”

” I haven’t thought about that yet. And I’m a guy after all… ”

” Yeah, there was a time when I thought that way too. I thought I was a man, I was born a man, but now I just have a woman’s body, so I’m a man. ”

At those words, I opened my eyes wide and looked at her, and she quickly looked down and smiled slightly, but it was a smile that left a bitter taste in my mouth.

” After I became an elf… Yeah, maybe 50 years? I was quite unique among elves. The clan I was in only lived in the forest and didn’t try to go outside.

So I started going out of town, out of the forest, because I was so bored with the town, and started going on adventures. And then I met a guy who liked me… and I liked him too. ”

I just listened to her story silently. Before I could even think about how to react, I felt regret, sadness, and longing in the way she spoke.

Because the way she reminisced about that time was so heartbreaking.

” Actually, until I met that person, I thought of myself as a man because I saw myself liking women more than men.

But that was just something I didn’t know because I couldn’t admit my feelings. The moment I met him, I was already a woman who fell in love with him. ”

” I see… ”

” Yeah, but you know, while adventuring with him, he made a lot of friends. Among them, there were quite a few girls who liked him.

Every time I saw those colleagues with him, my heart ached. But I didn’t give up on thinking of him as a man, so I… deliberately ignored those feelings. ”

Elina lifted her head back and looked at the ceiling. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth.

” After everyone grew older and stopped adventuring, when a female colleague who liked him told me that he was getting married, I… That’s when I realized it. ”

She suddenly stopped talking, looked at me, and spoke to me with a sad expression.

” Oh, I said I liked that person too. ”

” Ms. Elina… ”

” After that, I had bad thoughts while attending their wedding. I should have been next to him instead of that colleague.

But soon I left them a congratulatory message and returned to the forest, where I stayed the rest of my life.

Because I thought that if I didn’t see them, I wouldn’t feel this jealousy, this sadness, this regret… ”

” That’s… too bad. ”

” Phew, well, that’s okay. I wasn’t trying to comfort you with that story. And after quite some time, their child came to me. He said that his father wanted to see me one last time.

So I went to see him. He sent the man away and when we were alone together, he opened his mouth and said, ‘I fell in love with you from the first time I met you. ‘ ‘I wanted to marry you. ‘

I just stayed by his side crying until he took his last breath. ”

Elina rubs her eyes to wipe away the tears flowing from her emerald eyes.

And she said to me.

As if telling me not to make the same choice as him

” So Charlotte, if you still think you are a man, I want you to reconsider. After all, people like us have to live as a changed gender.

And then you might end up loving someone. When that time comes… I hope you won’t make a choice you’ll regret like I did.

Phew~ I feel a little better now. Then I’ll go out first. I guess I’ll need some time to think about it alone. ”

The words of Ms. Elina who left like that continued to linger in my ears.

Indeed, I wonder… whether I should see myself as a woman or as a man.

And if I… love… someone, what should I do with that heart?

With that thought in mind, I slowly immersed myself in the water in the bathtub, just quietly staring at the ceiling and rewinding Elina’s story over and over again.