episode_0049

“It’s terrible.”

“… .”

“Push harder.”

That was a short review from my father after seeing the swordsmanship I had been honing for three years.

To be honest, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting it. Although my father is always blunt and never smiles, I thought he would be happy to see his daughter’s swordsmanship reach a new level.

It was my own illusion.

It was just that.

“… Yes, I will try.”

I bow down and say thank you for giving me even a brief review.

“Okay, good luck.”

“Take a look.”

My father, who was as big as Mount Tai, hurriedly left without even looking back.

He is a person who does not give up on his upright intentions, whether it snows or rains, so I admire him more than anyone else.

Sometimes, I feel a little sad. Knowing clearly how hard I, your daughter, worked. Knowing that I had blisters on my hands and had to skip a night’s sleep to practice.

Is it difficult to say just one word of encouragement?

It’s just disappointing.

Oops, my introduction is late.

My name is Beatrice Constantino.

She is the leader of the 1st Holy Knights of the Holy Order and the daughter of Pope Saint Constantine.

Until 200 years ago, marriage among priests was prohibited by law, but following the Messiah’s holy words, ‘Be fruitful and prosper,’ the Pope 200 years ago allowed people to have only one spouse. From then on, priests began to marry… .

I, too, was born like that, the daughter of a priest.

The daughter of the Pope with great power and high authority, no one would want it.

Honestly, I’m not very happy. Some might say it’s greed, but it’s because I didn’t receive my father’s love. Because I couldn’t live up to my father’s expectations, and because I couldn’t live up to the expectations of those around me who had vague hopes for me because I was descended from the Pope. Just because that’s all.

I am not happy.

Huh!

“Captain! Are you training again?”

The moment when my father left and I was left alone in the space where I held the sword and tried to swing it again.

One of my paladins approached me.

“Lucio, what’s going on?”

“You’re stiff today too. What must happen to come? I just came to watch the leader train.”

“Don’t stay still and practice yourself. Rest is the height of good laziness.”

“Oh my! I have already completed today’s training! Leave those horrible sounds aside!”

“Then, do you really need to be next to me? Can’t you just find something to do and do it? It’s an eyesore and a hindrance to training.”

Huh! Huh!

“Haha, the leader is all good, but sometimes I think he looks too much like a machine. If a person doesn’t rest, he or she will break down.”

“Hearing what you say makes me want to break down. Isn’t this glorious proof that you have pushed yourself to your limit?”

“… Manager Lee is talking about big trouble.”

Whoa!

“Don’t say that even as a joke. Even so, every time we see the leader, all of our members feel anxious. I’m afraid you’ll suddenly collapse from a nosebleed.”

“I practice because I like it, so why are you worried?”

“That’s because I wonder if you’re doing it because you really like it.”

“… .”

“What did you say today? From the Pope?”

“He told me to work harder since I’m still in a bad situation.”

“Oh, I think you should leave out that word ‘yet’. The Pope probably won’t recognize you even after a hundred years. Because he is a man without blood or tears.”

Maybe so.

But I must not give up.

I am Beatrice Constantino. A paladin who follows only the Lord’s teachings and must follow the seven lines.

It’s funny, but now I am influenced more by my father than by the Lord. You shouldn’t use that as an excuse. Because excuses are nothing more than the lame excuses of a loser.

If I were to develop skills to the point where I would be recognized by my father in the first place, what use would that excuse be?

“Chief, may I just say one thing?”

Huh!

“Say.”

“Don’t be too tied down to the Pope.”

“… .”

“You know. What a good person the Pope is. You are upright and noble. It’s just that he’s not good at expressing his emotions, and that’s why he’s so harsh to the leader.”

“Still… .”

“The Pope is very strict, solemn, and serious. Oh, do you know what we call the Pope these days? Call me Pope Um, Geun, Jin! Take one letter from the beginning!”

“Puhhuh.”

“… Please don’t let this reach the Pope’s ears. If we go in, we will all be taken to the training camp! Hahaha!”

It’s been a while since you made me laugh, but it couldn’t have been possible.

“Don’t worry. My nickname is… Hehe, I’ll keep quiet for the rest of my life.”

“Haha, then I’ll just trust you, leader!”

Lucio, one of the Holy Knights of the 1st Holy Knights that I am in charge of, is a pretty good guy. To the point where he can even exchange trivial jokes with me, who is severely lacking in sociability.

Although it is my order, the relationship between me and the order is not very close. Should I say that there is a sense of distance that cannot be easily narrowed?

They respect me as an exemplary paladin, but they do not try to build personal relationships with me.

I like it that way too. For me, the Pope’s daughter, the friendship that makes a knight lazy is nothing but a luxury.

Sometimes, very occasionally, I feel at ease when I have a light conversation with Lucio like now.

Huh!

This is just ‘head ventilation’. Any further negligence should not exist for me.

Because I’m still not good enough.

Because I don’t live up to my father’s, people’s, and world’s expectations.

We must practice more faithfully.

Huh!

It swings a large sword that is nearly 2.5 meters long. A truly gigantic greatsword that could not be filled with the blade even by three people standing side by side.

This guy, also called the Greatsword, has fought countless battles by my side so far. All my achievements, including winning countless noble victories over evil and raising the glorious banner of victory, were all possible thanks to this great sword.

In fact, he is like my alter ego.

These days, I sometimes have doubts.

I wonder if it is right for me to use this sword. I wonder if the sword is too much for someone like me.

There is no progress and I am only getting scolded by my father. These days, those thoughts keep getting worse. It is an idle thought that comes from futility.

“But, leader! We’re in big trouble! Big trouble!”

While I was lost in meaningless thoughts, Lucio, who had left earlier, came back, running in a hurry. What was so urgent? He was sweating profusely.

“Why is that so? Lucio.”

“The rebels have invaded! The northern part of my country is under attack right now!”

“… ! They ended up… ! But why are you so excited? It’s a big deal, but the rebels used to invade this church often.”

“Well, but… ! This time the scale is unusual! They brought the entire army with them! Decide!”

“No way!”

The country that is most hostile to the original castle, the Tuguk (鬪國).

That barbaric nation, which makes fighting its business and operates by enslaving prisoners from defeated countries, has so many points that are contrary to the doctrines of the Holy Church that it inevitably comes into conflict with us.

Conflicts between countries naturally lead to armed conflict.

It’s a fighting country that invades frequently… A large-scale invasion with all its might. The most terrible destruction called war is about to be brought about by national conflict.

Quickly fixing my great sword, I headed to the north where the battlefield would be.

*****

What Lucio said was true. The rebels attacked the well-prepared church, and due to their overwhelming fighting power, the church was defeated in every battle.

Fighting is a nation of warriors. Their infantry unit, governed only by the logic of power, is the strongest on the continent. I hate to admit it, but even the Holy Knights of the home country have a hard time dealing with the infantry of the fighting nation.

The problem is that all the armies of those fighting nations are attacking this church at once. The entire south has already been pushed out, and the east, west, and north have also been occupied. All that remains is Seonghwangcheong in the center.

I, no, we are preparing for the final battle here in Seonghwangcheong, where our fate depends on everything.

In this glorious land where the doctrine of the Lord has been passed down.

I will risk my life and death.

“Captain! The Pope says he will hold a bishops’ conference!”

“Bishops’ Conference?”

“Yes! It might be the last meeting, so he told me to come prepared and neatly dressed!”

“Why did you even say that? I hope this is a common message to all bishops.”

“Well, that’s… It is said that he was added specifically to the leader… .”

“… Well then.”

Ha, I let out a small sigh and adjusted my clothes. It’s best not to do anything that could get you caught.

Even in a situation where the end is in sight, the pods, the elders of the church, are so… Would they have been able to do that even if I were a man?

In society, each person has their own role. Just as old people pass on their knowledge to the next generation, and children humbly receive that knowledge.

Usually men go out and work outside or take up weapons and fight. Women serve as housewives or manage the interior of the house.

It’s not that I’m dissatisfied with the system. Because there is a method that suits everyone. If they are satisfied, what’s the problem? However, I am.

I just want to become a knight recognized by my father.

Elders, priests, and even my father tell me to become a nun.

But, I don’t want to be a nun. I don’t want to be that weak woman who sits boringly in a cathedral and flashes a pretentious smile at the occasional believer.

Holy Knight.

My ideal is to plant a firm foot on the ground, cover my entire body in pure white armor, and sacrifice my body to protect my sacred beliefs.

However, until now, there has not been a single female paladin. Because it is common sense that male cultists become priests or holy knights, and female cultists become nuns. Everyone who heard my dream either laughed at me or worried about me.

However, I did not want to remain a weak woman. I wanted to be a protector rather than a protector. So I picked up the sword. I held in my hand a great sword, which was one of the largest swords and difficult for even an ordinary sword to lift.

I trained. I practiced while everyone else was resting. I practiced while everyone else was sleeping. I trained while everyone else was playing.

There is a saying that hard work never betrays. In the end, I became the first female Holy Knight, and now, in recognition of my skills, I have become the leader of the 1st Holy Knights. Nevertheless, there are still people who distrust me, so what would it have been like if I had been born as a man? There is a question.

Whatever it was, it was because I was lacking, so I put the great sword on my back and headed to the place where the bishops’ conference was being held.

“You’re here.”

As we arrived and sat down at the round table where the bishops’ meeting was to be held, my father spoke.

“Yes, Pope.”

“Then, since everyone seems to have gathered, we will begin the bishops’ meeting.”

At my father’s solemn declaration, the atmosphere at the round table became heavy.

The first to open his mouth was Bishop 1, who had been fidgeting as if his mouth had been itching since earlier.

“You must promise the following!”

It was an expected offer. The first bishop always said that there would be no victory in this fight, and insisted that we abandon the Holy Emperor and take refuge in another country for now. I sighed.

It’s not wrong. Although we have a father who is absolutely strong on our side, our opponent is a fighter for the country. Seonghwangcheong was not left alone for nothing. furthermore… .

“Bishop 1, we are now under siege.”

“No matter what, abandoning Seonghwangcheong is… This is the land chosen by the Messiah!”

“Although their fighting spirit is strong, they have been fighting for a long time. There must have been considerable fatigue as the eastern, western, northern, and southern parts of this church were all defeated. Turning your back on them without even fighting them… .”

Other believers begin to refute Bishop 1’s remarks. I closed my mouth and stayed still.

Because to them, I am an obnoxious being. Because I am sitting in the position of leader of the Holy Knights, which most of their sons would want.

“3 Bishop, has there ever been a time when Tuguk did not fight? They only experience battles all year round! These people don’t get tired that easily! And the Messiah would not want all of his descendants to be exterminated because of a single building called Seonghwangcheong!”

“1 Bishop! Do not try to misunderstand the meaning of the Messiah! It’s blasphemous!”

“We have to find a way. If things continue like this, everyone will just die. We must find a way to survive, even if it means breaking through the siege of warring states surrounding Seonghwangcheong.”

“Profanity! Blame it! How blasphemous! How can you abandon this land of grace? All we have to do is firmly defend this Lord’s land!”

“2 Although the bishop was excited, he was not wrong. A glorious martyr is better than a living apostate.”

“Martyrdom also depends on the martyrdom. Even if we all die, the children must be saved. The law of martyrdom should not be forced on children who know nothing.”

“Umm… Is there any possibility that fighting the country will at least save the children?”

“It is better to die than to live in a country that captures people and makes them prisoners of war and enslaves them. We cannot allow our children to be treated less than human beings.”

“Do we have to consider mass martyrdom as a last resort? Huh… .”

“Umm… .”

The atmosphere inside the round table becomes solemn. Mass martyrdom can be done a hundred or a thousand times for the Lord, but it must be done at the end.

Nonetheless, that number is mentioned.

“In the end, there is only one thing that matters.”

“Lord Beatrice?”

“This is our final battleground.”

“… .”

“Whether you run away or defend yourself, you must fight. We must fight to open a path to escape, and we must fight to protect Seonghwangcheong.”

“… .”

At my words, the bishops nodded in agreement. They usually hate me, but I guess they have nothing to refute this time. I closed my mouth again.

“Sir Beatrice is right.”

At the round table in the silence, my father opens his mouth alone.

“Whether you take refuge or sacrifice your life, it is an immutable truth that you must fight. When the sun rises tomorrow, we will engage in a decisive battle with that group of wicked fighters for our fate.”

It was a statement filled with dignity and authority. No one dares to express an opposing opinion.

“… Then.”

“?”

“If we’re going to fight anyway, let’s find a way out. An escape route that could evacuate even small children to the empire. We will hold out until the end in Seonghwangcheong. One way is to expect support from the empire.”

Father nods at Bishop 1’s suggestion.

“That’s a good opinion. If so, who will take the lead in clearing the escape route?”

“… .”

Those who had been insisting on battle until now are hesitating. I understand. Because no one wants to hasten death.

The siege of Tuguk is thick and tight. Opening the gates of Seonghwangcheong and entering the enemy’s camp is in itself an act of suicide.

“The Holy Knights should take charge. Isn’t that the duty of a paladin?”

Bishop 2 glances at me and says.

“I also think it would be good for the 1st Knights to open a route for retreat.”

3The bishop points to me and says:

“Agree. Except for the Pope, the greatest power of this church is Sir Beatrice, so she should take responsibility for her great power.”

Finally, drive a wedge up to the 1st bridge.

After receiving the bishops’ opinions, my father’s eyes turn to me. I closed my eyes bitterly.

I wouldn’t say it’s an opinion without any personal feelings, but it’s not wrong.

Paladins exist to protect. Existing for the faith, the denomination, and the religious order.

As the best paladin of the church, I have to step forward.

“Yes, our 1st Knights will go.”

“Lord Beatrice, are you okay?”

My father asks in a worried tone. How long has it been since my father showed emotion to me rather than being strict?

It’s not until it’s time to die that you show me that.

I answered calmly.

“No problem.”

“… .”

After that, the bishops’ conference ended after deciding on a few minor issues. When I returned, I told the 1st Knights that we would be going into battle tomorrow. There were some who accepted it with resignation, but there were also some who screamed at their inevitable death.

I climbed the castle wall and saw the surrounding military camp. Each one was heavily armed with armor and weapons, and even though they were not at war, they were training in front of us as if they were showing off. At the forefront, Agesiliad, the commander of the fighting nation, stood limping.

Agesiliad, who was born a cripple, overcame all hardships, fought his way through an unfortunate environment, and became a fighting king, was once my idol… Now he is just an enemy of an enemy country. I glared at him and returned to the castle.

Before we knew it, the time had come for the sun god to disappear. The blazing sun seeps into the ground, and the moon, the sun’s shadow, shyly shines its light. The moon seen through the window is the last moon I see.

Sigh-.

When I returned to the room, I sat down on the bed. On a hard, rusty bed. It was a bed that was somehow similar to the life I had led.

Dalkak-.

I opened a bottle of wine. I don’t drink enough to get drunk so as not to get distracted, but I really like alcohol itself. This is because drinking alcohol helps you forget loneliness and suffering.

Squeak-.

When the sun rises and tomorrow comes, I will die. You will be swept away by the mighty waves of the enemy army, your entire body will be torn apart and you will be reduced to a thousand pieces.

No regrets. I have no regrets. The sea I longed for.

After I die like that, even those who looked down on me because I was a woman will no longer be able to make fun of me. Even a blunt father will shed at least one tear after his daughter dies.

“Ah… .”

Maybe it’s because I’ve been drinking, but I feel uneasy. My heart, which had been completely occupied just a moment ago, is overflowing with indescribable emotions.

Pop-.

“Ahh… .”

Blood flows from the eyes. It is hot and transparent blood. A paladin must be strong, he must not cry, and he must not be an ugly squealer.

Actually, I only have one regret. A regret I couldn’t admit when I was sober.

Just hearing my father say I love him. That’s all. With just those words, I will die happy.

“Ah, ah… .”

I tried my whole life to please my father.

Tomorrow I die.

That fact weighs heavily on me. I am helplessly crushed.

It’s vain. It is unfair. It’s sad.

I want to be recognized by my father. I do not wish for a miserable lifespan. Just once, just once, I want to hear from my father that I did a good job.

It feels like a lifetime of hard work is collapsing like a burst dam. Like the salty sea water flowing through my eyelids right now.

Lord.

I do not wish for salvation.

Please, to your sheep.

If only you would show mercy just once.

I will die happy.

So, when I was praying with my hands clasped in the air.

[Hey, Lady? Why don’t you raise your head once?]

A voice came from the window.

A sticky, soft and sweet voice.

Wiping the moisture from my eyes, I raised my head. Then, I saw a man standing at the window.

It has black wings on its back.

A goat’s horn is embedded in its forehead.

Holding an inverted cross symbolizing evil.

A tall, pale and tall man.

[It’s pitiful. Oh, so the Lord is too good? How could you let a beautiful lady like you die?]

[If it were me, I wouldn’t do that. Come on, lady. hold my hand Become my descendant and embrace my power. Then you can live, win this war, be recognized by everyone, and receive the love you so desperately want from your father.]

[Now, come on? You know that opportunities to change your life don’t always come, right?]

It was a sweet voice that seemed to tempt me at any moment.

Instinct cried out. The author says it is dangerous.

Moving my hand to the great sword lying next to me, I quietly asked a question with my guard up.

“Who are you?”

He spread his arms wide and shouted loudly.

[I am the son of dawn! Fallen Angel Lucifer! This is the devil who will be your salvation!]