episode_0037

The next morning, as I opened my eyes in a prone position on the motel bed, I realized the misdeeds I had committed last night and felt a belated sense of shame.

I thought I could handle my alcohol well from previous experiences, but it was a careless judgment. Even with strong liquor, I couldn’t keep my senses clear after just one or two drinks…

It would have been fortunate if I had just continued sleeping, but my body was burning up, and I felt strangely good to the point where it was unavoidable.

“I must be crazy for real…”

Is it even reasonable to show such a sight in front of the old man? Not to mention, it wasn’t just a typical embarrassing moment, but almost like being half-naked in front of him… If only I didn’t remember the scene from that day when I was drunk, it would have been better, but just recalling it made me feel so embarrassed.

I must have been too reckless; my mouth was sticky, and although not severe, my waist was in bad shape, to say the least.

“Well, it’s no wonder my back is hurting after sleeping in that position. Ugh, it’s painful…”

I managed to roll my body off the bed with difficulty, but as I tidied up my disheveled hair and looked around the room, I was met with a sight that words couldn’t describe.

An empty closet, provocative clothing strewn around the bed, empty bottles and clothes forcibly removed by the old man in a drunken stupor, uneaten pig’s feet due to vomiting midway, and even red stains on the bed…

Even though it’s not my house, is causing this kind of trouble really necessary? Feeling embarrassed, I let out a short sigh and began to clean up the messy room.

Is the old man taking a shower now? How should I face him with what happened last night? Ah… Showing my naked body was not intentional, but the things I did while drunk were undoubtedly my fault.

Oh, what is this now! Why is this underwear so small? Why is there a hole in the middle? Could it be that I wore this and… Oh no!

– Click

As I rearranged the scattered clothes and let out a silent scream, the sound of the bathroom door opening made me jump, and I looked up to see the old man, who somehow looked refreshed, with a somewhat stern expression.

“G-Good morning, sir.”

I tried my best to greet him as usual, but there was an awkwardness in the air. The old man flinched for a moment and then turned his head abruptly.

“When you’re done with that, go in and wash up. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Was he angry because of last night? The old man wiped his wet hair with a towel around his neck and spoke in a brusque tone.

Afraid that I might be disliked, I glanced at the old man, but there was no tense atmosphere, and he seemed as usual, which relieved me.

Maybe he was just blunt because he was tired?

“Uh… Sir, I’m sorry about last night… I must have been out of my mind…”

I felt awkward in this atmosphere, but it seemed like a problem we could move past, so I apologized for what happened last night.

“No, it was my fault for bringing the alcohol, and you were just drunk, so don’t worry about it.”

‘No. Yes, I was drunk, but it wasn’t something I did unconsciously.’

I wanted to say those words, but if I were to confess that everything I did while clinging to him was sincere, the already uncomfortable atmosphere would only worsen.

“And I was also drunk yesterday, so… I ended up touching you.”

“Oh…”

I suddenly felt warmth at the edge of my stomach at the man’s words.

If I couldn’t remember yesterday’s events, it might have been a misunderstood statement, but I knew better than anyone else what his intentions were.

“Sir! Please… pat my stomach!”

He definitely said those words. The man simply granted my request, without any ulterior motives. But how could I commit such an audacious act towards him…

“Hey, calm down! What did the man do wrong… huh? But did you even get a proper sleep, sir? What’s with the dark circles under your eyes?”

As I looked at the man, I noticed the dark circles that had deepened to a disturbing extent. I thought he looked exhausted since earlier, but now I knew the reason!

“Don’t worry about it.”

He may not say it outright, but it was clear that he hadn’t been able to sleep a wink dealing with my drunken antics.

But how could I not worry about him, even if he was just a man? We may not have a special relationship, but living under the same roof, seeing each other at our best and worst, how could I not…

“Anyway, it’s almost time to leave, so hurry up and get ready to go. It’s a bit late, but we still need to have breakfast.”

“Oh… yes, yes~!”

He didn’t look at me, but I naturally replied without showing any signs of anger. I neatly stored away my clothes in the closet and headed to the bathroom.

I had a lot to say, but because of his advice not to worry, I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

Yes, we may not have a special relationship, but if I push it further, I might end up being truly disliked.

I don’t want to be disliked by anyone anymore.

Even though we’re just a fake couple, I hope he doesn’t end up hating me.

I’ve promised myself not to make the same mistake again. Is he the only person left for me?

And unlike when we first met, he turned out to be a much better person. A person I can trust and rely on.

Well… he may look a bit rough on the outside, but if he has a lover, he must be quite popular, right??

He must have dated numerous women until now, and maybe he had special relationships with some of them… If he chooses another woman over me… I wouldn’t like that…

“Gasp!”

What am I even thinking about?? We agreed not to interfere in each other’s personal lives in the contract we signed!

Moreover, why should I be upset if he dates another woman! It’s true that I owe him a lot, but I shouldn’t keep wanting to stay by his side… I’ll have to live separately from him in the future if I continue like this.

And in his eyes, I must be nothing more than a child, so he wouldn’t have any feelings he couldn’t tell me… Even though I’ve become Ju Eun-hye now, in terms of time, I’m just a fake Ju Eun-hye for about 100 days??

No matter how much I think about it, he and I don’t seem to match.

I entered the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, berating myself in that way.

Although I was sweaty, my hair was better arranged than I had thought, my eyes were full of vitality as if the fatigue had disappeared, and even the greasy residue around my mouth.

I was puzzled by my relatively intact appearance after spending a wild night, but as I looked at myself in the mirror again, the image of me wearing a black cat ear headband from last night overlapped.

“I’ve grown so much without even realizing it… haven’t I.”

As I whispered the words I had said while looking at the man, the woman in the mirror stuck out her tongue.

Ju Eun-hye, whom I tried to save at the risk of my life.

I don’t know why I did that. I clearly said it that way, but now that the memories I had forgotten are coming back one by one, I understand why I acted that way.

“…Hey, do you think I would have saved you for no reason?”

I knew it wouldn’t reach him, but I wanted to say it anyway.

Back then, I couldn’t remember, but now I know everything.

Just like you peered into my memories, I also peered into yours.

“What kind of relationship do we have… Can you pretend not to see it?”

Whether it’s because I miss the guy who disappeared from my body, or because I’m afraid of the future where I’ll eventually part ways with the old man, or maybe I’m still drunk, meaningless soliloquies keep pouring out.

Han Eunseok should have died, but Joo Eunhye should have survived.

Why did you want to save me so badly?

Honestly, I didn’t want to die either.

But I hated seeing you die in front of me even more.

“Why can’t I remember anything! How much I wanted to see you all this time…”

At first, I was puzzled as to why you were crying because of me, but now I can understand.

Why I had to save you, why you were tormented by guilt, why you wanted to save me even by abandoning yourself, I know it all now.

“So come back now, you idiot. I can’t even properly wear underwear without you, and you disappeared without a word… I mean, what’s the point of all this now.”

The woman who showed a bitter smile wiped off the seasoning on her lips, and as she began to disappear into the steam rising from the mirror, she vanished without a word, just like the guy who disappeared from me.