episode_0034

Since we agreed to see each other’s underwear, we decided to take turns using one fitting room. It would have been better if both of us could go in together, but the space wasn’t wide enough for both of us to change at the same time, so we just decided to go in separately and look at each other.

“Should I go first?”

Dayoung took the lead.

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

Although we agreed to help each other, I’m not good at this kind of thing yet, so I just accept Dayoung’s help unilaterally.

Come to think of it, not only in situations like this, but I’ve received help from quite a few people since becoming a woman.

After the initial transformation, my mom and younger sister took turns looking after me, and I also received a lot of help from Dayoung and Davin. It’s a bit embarrassing as a parent to say this, but it’s true. After the divorce, when these things happened, my mental state was not stable, which is an excuse if there ever was one.

And recently, I also received help from Manager Kwon Sung-yeol and new employee Kim Tae-hyun. Well, they did provide assistance in their work even while I was on leave, so I appreciate that, but…

Looking back, it seems like I’ve received help from almost everyone who knows that I’ve become a woman.

Family, well, times have changed too much to explain it with the phrase “because they’re family.” Nowadays, what used to be taken for granted even within families is no longer so.

Anyway, Gender Dysphoria is ultimately a disease. In fact, it’s strange to call it a syndrome when there is only one symptom. Nevertheless, there are two aspects of transitioning from male to female and from female to male, so let’s somehow accept it and move on.

If we consider Gender Dysphoria as a disease, then all these processes I’m going through can be seen as a form of rehabilitation necessary for daily recovery. However, I cannot receive any help related to this rehabilitation from the government or hospitals.

That’s because about two years before Yarona began, the first cases emerged, and since there are not many cases worldwide, Korea has not yet established institutional support.

It seems like it might be time for someone like a rehabilitation therapist to emerge in this field. It would be nice if the country could provide some institutional support to help people like me adapt.

For example, the fact that I am currently on leave is not guaranteed by special laws from the government; it’s just a company-based consideration called unpaid leave due to various reasons such as cutting staff immediately if you don’t perform well, or getting another job. The CEO and I have worked together for a long time in this company.

So, it’s not like I’ve received any specific benefits; I’ve just been fortunate in my circumstances. Besides, I can’t receive benefits like health insurance or disease insurance for this condition.

If I were a student with poor financial circumstances or came from a financially disadvantaged family, I would have been in a very difficult situation.

Although Gender Dysphoria is rare globally, its impact is as significant as Yarona’s. Isn’t it equally serious?

Yarona is like a modern version of the Black Death or something. There’s a lot of talk, but at best, it’s just a variant of the flu. Moreover, hasn’t humanity experienced outbreaks of diseases like smallpox even in modern times? SARS or MERS, for example.

However, this disease is truly unique. It’s a completely unprecedented disease since the dawn of human history.

To the point where not only the medical community but even the religious community is in turmoil over how to interpret it.

Anyway, Gender Dysphoria, like Yarona, may have significant implications, but since it doesn’t cause substantial harm, it can still be considered a blind spot in terms of institutional support.

That’s why…

-Swish.

She quietly took out her ID card from her wallet and stared at it.

Name: Jung Doyeon

820914-2XXXXXX

Because I went through such a difficult process just to receive this changed identification card, whenever I think about that time, it makes me grind my teeth.

Since my body had changed, I went to the city hall with the documents the doctor had given me for changing my identification.

“Ah… Since the related guidelines haven’t been issued yet, it seems like you’ll have to wait a bit.”

Naturally, in Korea, there are very few cases, so I understand that, but having to visit the city hall almost 5-6 times in a month was still an irritating experience that made my blood boil.

Anyway, Korean government officials… No, there are many diligent individuals, but thinking like this is probably just prejudice.

-Click!

“Mom, I’ve changed everything, can you come in for a moment?”

Lost in various thoughts by myself, as I was contemplating, the fitting room door opened slightly, and Dayoung peeked out at me.

“Oh, okay.”

I put my identification back into my pocket and entered the fitting room where Dayoung was.

The interior was slightly more spacious than I had imagined, making me wonder if two people could change clothes together.

As soon as I entered, I saw Dayoung in her underwear. Perhaps because she was still a teenager, her clean sky-blue underwear, without any patterns or lace, suited her flawless and fair skin perfectly.

While my skin had a warm tone close to beige, Dayoung’s paler and whiter complexion seemed to match well with these blue shades.

“Wow, beautiful!”

It wasn’t just because she was my daughter; she truly had a beautiful figure. She was petite, but her face was small, so there was no sense of her legs looking short, and her curves rivaled those of an adult, making her undeniably beautiful.

No, it’s not because she’s my real daughter that I find her beautiful, absolutely not.

“How does it look?”

Dayoung asked me shyly, and I nodded vigorously in response.

“You’re really pretty. Blue tones seem to suit you better than me.”

Saying that, I gave her a thumbs up.

Dayoung smiled at my compliment, then turned her torso from side to side, looking down at her bra before furrowing her brows and saying,

“But it feels a bit tight. This is a 65C… Should I try wearing a 70C instead?”

Usually, a 65C can be equivalent to a 70B. If that’s tight, then going for a 65D or 70C might be more suitable… What? D?!

“Is it because of the growth phase?”

Well, considering our family genetics, it shouldn’t be too surprising, but a high school freshman with a D cup?! That was quite remarkable even for Korean sizes. Of course, I didn’t say that out loud.

“I’ll bring some other options. Stay here, I’ll be right back. It’s a hassle to change clothes again and again.”

Saying that, I handed Dayoung the underwear and left the fitting room, heading towards the store.

I picked up a set of underwear in the same design but in size 70C and returned to the fitting room, offering it to Dayoung.

“How does this one fit?”

I called out into the fitting room.

“Yeah, it seems to fit.”

Thankfully, it was the right size for Dayoung.

Dayoung called me back into the fitting room and asked again,

“How does it look? Does it feel comfortable?”

“Well, it looks good. It definitely seems to provide more room compared to the previous one. Since it’s a growth phase, you might grow a bit more…”

It’s still a bit shocking when I think about it. A high school freshman with a D cup… Haha.

Anyway, Dayoung decided to purchase a total of three sets of underwear, including what she was currently wearing, and came out of the fitting room.

And finally, it was my turn.

“Hurry up and try it on, Mom. It… probably won’t fit. Yeah. Even though it’s 70H, it surely won’t fit, right.”

Perhaps Da-yeong might have felt that way because she had her own experience, but I didn’t worry about it since there hadn’t been any incidents like when I bought a sports bra a while ago and it didn’t fit.

As I entered the fitting room, I saw my underwear hanging on the wall rack, which Da-yeong had brought in earlier.

Luckily, if I had worn a dress, I would have had to take everything off, but fortunately, today’s outfit was just a simple printed T-shirt and hot pants.

I took off my T-shirt, reached behind with my hand, and unhooked the bra.

– Click!

As the pressure on my chest disappeared, I felt refreshed. The loosened bra bounced up with the elasticity of my chest and slid down my shoulders.

“Ah, refreshing.”

These days, I almost always wear a bra even at home, so I rarely have the opportunity to take it off except when showering.

I hung the removed bra on the rack and tried on the bra I had brought for fitting.

But somehow… it feels tight?

“What, what is it?”

I tried to hook the back hook with force, but the hooks didn’t meet. Or rather, it would be more accurate to say that the ends of the bra straps barely touched each other.

“No way…”

The bra I used to wear fit well, but could it be that the same size product doesn’t fit now?

“I can barely handle an H cup, but an I cup…?”

Of course, if the difference between bust and waist is 27.5, it’s really borderline H cup, but if it’s more than that, it goes straight to I cup. In other words, I was an H cup, but a full H cup. But now it seems like I might have crossed over to I…

When I tried on the bra I used to wear, it did feel a bit tighter.

“Sigh…”

After taking a deep breath and putting my clothes back on, I discreetly pushed the underwear I had brought out of the door.

“Da-yeong…”

Upon hearing this, Da-yeong seemed shocked.

“Really? Wow, brutal, so brutal. Seriously.”

Although it’s not something you should say… It was so unbelievable that I just blushed and said:

“Bring me a 70I.”

“Ugh, okay.”

Until Da-yeong returned, I just sat there blushing, fidgeting with my hands.