episode_0031

Buuung-.

“… … .”

“… … .”

The car ride home was quiet.

This was because Sanggu oppa, who was in the driver’s seat, and Kang Hyeongman, who was in the passenger seat, didn’t talk much and I was so exhausted that I didn’t have the strength to say anything.

‘It is awkward.’

Still, it seemed like it was a bit too quiet, so I mustered up my strength and asked Kang Hyeong-man.

“My mom and dad didn’t come?”

“… !”

Only Kang Hyung was shocked for a moment and answered my question.

“Those idiots won’t even know that today is the day you come back. … I didn’t bring you here on purpose. Are you sad?”

“No, not at all.”

When asked if I was sad that my parents didn’t come, I answered with a straight face.

“I would have been angry if those people had come. I was just about to say that I’m glad you didn’t come.”

“… Yes.”

mom and dad.

It makes me shiver to think how much those people would have tormented me if they had come.

As I stuck my tongue out in disgust, only Kanghyung looked at me and asked me.

“How was Naaa?”

“… … .”

Well, how was it… , it was a simple but complex question.

I thought about this for a while and then… , I answered with clear but meaningful words.

“It was a shitty place.”

“… … !”

“… … !”

Not only Kang Hyeong-man but also Sang-gu, who was driving, flinched at my answer.

Boom-.

“… Sorry.”

Sang-gu must have been so surprised that his steering wheel got twisted and he deviated from his lane for a moment.

“… Drive safely.”

“… Yes.”

Kang Hyeong-man gave Sang-gu a small scolding and then turned his head towards me again.

“It’s a shitty place… , that doesn’t sound very positive. Can you tell me what happened?”

At that time, I was exhausted from the arduous filming of Naaah. I had no desire to tell anyone about what I had experienced in Naaah.

But why… .

“What happened… .”

I opened my mouth as if I had been waiting for Kang Hyeong-man’s question.

As if opening the floodgates of a dam, I poured out everything that had happened to Hyeongman Kang.

From first entering the set and sitting in the 99th place, meeting Yoo Seol, practicing without sleeping for a week, and finally, Lee Hye-jeong being forcibly kicked out of Grade A by the production crew.

“… Things like that happened.”

“That’s right.”

Kang Hyeong-man just calmly listened to my story.

When I heard that Han Si-woo’s recruitment offer was rejected, my eyes widened for a moment, but that was my only reaction.

He just listened to my whole story and said:

“So many things happened.”

“… Yes.”

“And it must have been really difficult.”

“… … .”

I paused for a moment at the question and nodded.

“… … Yes.”

“Do you regret going to Naaa?”

“… … !”

Do you regret going to Naaa?

As soon as I heard that, I immediately thought to myself.

I have to say no.

If I answered that I regretted it here, it would be disrespectful to Kang Hyeong-man who put me in Naaah.

but… .

“That… .”

For some reason, the words that I had no regrets did not come out of my mouth easily.

So I missed the timing to answer… .

“… … .”

“… … .”

Soon the car was filled with silence again.

The first to break the awkward silence was Kang Hyung-man, who looked out the window and said something unexpected.

“If you want to get off, you can.”

“… Yes?”

For a moment I thought I heard wrong, but no. Because Kang Hyeong-man looked at me and said this.

“If you feel that you are not suited for it, you can quit being an idol.”

“What is that… .”

If you say you can quit being an idol then… .

“What about my debt?”

Oh, if you think about it, it’s not my debt. anyway.

“What should I do with the 200 million in debt?”

If I quit being an idol, what will happen to the 200 million won in debt?

In addition, Kang Hyeong-man even hired two trainers for me. He even gave me a ride in the car every day. It was also basic to buy food when it was time to eat.

If you include all the other costs, it would be quite a bit.

However, Kang Hyeong-man smiled and continued speaking as if such things did not matter.

“Why do you care about your parents’ debt? Other pennies don’t matter either.”

That’s a penny… . I once again realized that only Kang Hyeong was rich in cash.

“If it doesn’t suit your aptitude, I won’t force you to do it. If you feel like idols aren’t your path… , stop without paying attention.”

“… … .”

“Instead, I will find another job so that you can become independent.”

If the favor continues, you will get used to it. At first, Kang Hyeong-man’s favor was burdensome and suspicious, but not now.

If I say I quit being an idol, he will introduce me to another job.

“… … .”

At that moment, a thought arose in my head for just a brief moment.

And the answer came right away.

“What an idol is… , it was definitely not easy. Even if I feel better… , it was a much crueler place than I thought.”

“Then… .”

“So, from next time, I will give it my all.”

“… … !”

“Up until now, I realized how light-hearted I had been in Naaah.”

Yu Seol.

Hyejeong Lee.

Other participants as well.

There was no one who was not desperate.

‘If you’re going to do it so clumsily, it’s better to get off. Don’t you know that just by being here right now, someone who desperately needs someone is losing their chance?’

We will not allow their earnestness to be weighed down.

We will win over those who are desperate more earnestly than anyone else.

Because I thought it was polite and the only way to relieve this shitty feeling.

“… … .”

Didn’t know I would say this?

Kang Hyeong-man was looking at me in amazement after I finished answering.

Then he smiled and said this.

“Yerin, you’ve changed.”

“I… , does it change?”

“Yes, it has become a lot more toxic.”

Are you saying I’ve become toxic?

Fuha.

After hearing that, I actually burst into laughter.

Anyway, this is the second time in my life.

In my previous life, I was an orphan and had no choice but to live alone in a harsh world.

In this life, I had to live even more harshly because I had to feed not only myself but also my parents.

I was already so poisonous that I was no different from a poisonous mushroom. How much more poisonous could I get?

“Fuha, I was always strong. You know. Since I was a freshman in high school, I have been feeding my family by myself.”

“It’s not poisonous, it’s strong. Yerin, you were originally a strong child, but you were not a strong child.”

Strong and strong… .

Does that make a big difference?

When I tilted my head, only Kang Hyung smiled once more and continued speaking.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Rather, you were too innocent before. I’m glad that something has changed through you.”

As Kang Hyeong-man said that, his eyes were once again looking indifferently out the window.

“I understand that you said you would stay in Naaa. I trust you and won’t wait.”

“Me too… .”

At that time, Sang-gu’s brother, who was in the driver’s seat, intervened in a timid tone.

“I also believe… . Yerin.”

It was somehow funny that Sang-gu, who usually spoke little, mustered up the courage to cheer.

“Thank you, everyone.”

I was very tired when I first got in the car… , Strangely, my fatigue disappeared from the middle and my whole body felt relaxed.

**

After traveling for over an hour, the car arrived at my house.

“Yerin, can I go in alone? If you need us… .”

“It’s my house, so of course I have to go in alone.”

When I spoke strongly, only Kang Hyung nodded.

“Okay, if your parents are giving you a hard time again, call them. I’ll send some younger brothers.”

Just hearing those words felt like it gave me strength.

At this, I smiled and saw off Kang Hyeong-man and Sang-gu.

“Yes, I will definitely contact you. So, please go with peace of mind.”

“Then, bye. Thank you for your hard work today.”

Buuung-.

I went home after seeing Kang Hyeong-man’s car drive away and disappear completely from the end of the street.

Inside this shitty villa where my damn parents live.

Tiririk-.

“I’m here.”

“Uh! what! Yerin!”

“What! Was today my daughter’s coming day?”

These people obviously didn’t know that today was the day I was coming, so they were very surprised as soon as I came in.

“Oh my gosh! If I had known in advance, I would have gone to pick you up!”

“Okay, did you film well?”

“… Just okay.”

“Honey! Yerin must have taken care of it! Whose daughter is this!”

“Hoho! I see. Judging from the nice color on his face, it seems like he was strong on the inside. Yerin, so… .”

Mom patted me on the back and pointed to the sink.

“Yerin, because you weren’t here, there was no one to wash the dishes at home, right? Won’t you clean that up first?”

The sink that my mother pointed to was full of piled up dishes and containers of leftover delivery food.

“… … .”

As I was silent after seeing that terrible scene, my father went one step further and asked me to do this.

“Yerin! After you finish washing the dishes, can you just make kimchi stew for Dad for a late night snack? I feel like I’ve thrown everything out of my dad’s stomach because I’ve only been eating delivery food and ramen.”

“… … .”

There was no remorse in the father’s voice when he asked his daughter to make kimchi stew at 11:50 p.m.

If it were me in the past, I would have washed the dishes and made kimchi stew as my mom and dad told me to do.

Not only that, but you would have done a lot of housework with your tired body, such as laundry, cleaning the bathroom, and cleaning your room.

But now I am different. I didn’t want to do anything my parents asked me to do.

That moment.

‘Yerin, you’ve changed.’

‘I am… ‘Does it change?’

‘Yes, it has become very toxic.’

I could understand why Kang Hyeong-man said he had become toxic to me.

My Idol Academia, where I have been for the past week, was a place no different from a battlefield.

Everyone is trying their hardest to survive.

Sometimes we hate each other.

When I encountered Eokka, which was no different from a natural disaster, I despaired and shed tears.

Since I lived in a place where only desperate people gathered, I was bound to become toxic.

And I have changed… .

“I don’t like it.”

“… Huh?”

… It was shocking to see my parents living in a world so different from the one I was in.

“I don’t like it. Mom and Dad, why do I clean up the dishes? And if you want to eat kimchi stew, make it yourself.”

“… uh? Yes, Yerin… ! What is that… !”

That day was the first time I disobeyed my mom and dad.

and… .

“I’m tired, so I’ll sleep first. Oh, Dad’s computer room will now be used as my personal room, so please clean it up yourself.”

“What, what? no-! Dad’s computer equipped with RTX-4090 requires careful maintenance… .”

“I bought all of that with what I earned from my part-time job!!”

“… … Yes, Yerin.”

It was also the first time I shouted at my mom and dad.

I didn’t know before… , it was easy once I did it.

I gave my mom and dad a final warning… .

“Put it away by tomorrow morning. If you don’t get rid of it, I’ll sell it as a second hand.”

thud.

I just went into the room.

Today was truly a historic day that will remain in Ha Ye-rin’s life for a long time.