episode_0027

“Hello?”

As I lifted my head at the familiar voice of a woman that seemed like I had heard before, there was Joo Eunhye sitting on top of a vending machine in a black dress – no, it was Joo Eunhye.

For a moment, I felt a chill as if I had encountered a ghost, but the innocent smile of this childlike girl relaxed my tension and left me speechless.

“Hey, nice to meet you in person, right? This is the second time today? No, the third time~”

Gracefully descending from the vending machine, Joo Eunhye looked straight into my eyes, then leaned back slightly with her hands on her hips, observing me from head to toe.

“Yes! Yes! I’m glad you look healthy~ You must take after your mom. You’ve gained a little weight, but you’ve transformed like this…”

“You…”

Admiring her changed body with balanced meals and regular exercise, Joo Eunhye seemed to be in awe.

“You… How did you–”

“How did I end up here?”

Interrupting my thoughts, Joo Eunhye read my mind. Though it was a brief moment, her playful smile revealed a hint of sadness.

“This is not reality, by the way. The me in front of you is like a fantasy. Look.”

Extending her hand towards me, Joo Eunhye’s hand turned into a transparent light, passing through my body.

“So, the you in front of me is a ghost…?”

“Calling me a ghost is too much! I’m definitely not like a ghost! Not yet…”

Suddenly showing a gloomy expression at the unexpected topic, what was she trying to achieve? Nevertheless, her presence seemed to cool down my overheated mind, amidst the confusion.

Neither my current appearance nor the girl in front of me being Joo Eunhye made sense, but seeing the surroundings frozen in an ashen hue made me wonder if it could be just a dream or a fantasy created by Joo Eunhye.

“Anyway! It’s all your fault that I revealed myself like this, right? I’ve been through so much trouble manipulating memories–”

“What?”

Manipulating memories.

Does that mean that all my actions as if I were really Joo Eunhye were just this guy’s prank?

Why?

Was it because I had been living comfortably as Joo Eunhye all this time that he had a problem with it? Because he took control of my body…

“Am I resented?”

If I think like that, it makes sense that Joo Eunhye manipulated my memories.

Even if I put myself in their shoes, if a complete stranger suddenly entered my body and took over my life, I would definitely shake with anger.

“…Resentment?”

Was my guess correct? Her gloomy face stiffened grimly.

Yes, now I could accept any complaints or curses mixed with hatred from her.

If she asks me to turn around, I will do whatever it takes to return this body of Joo Eunhye to its original owner.

Because I’m already dead.

“Hey, forgot? You saved me from almost being hit by a car that day.”

Approaching step by step, she opened her mouth with a questioning tone.

“Yes, I didn’t know who you were back then, but now I do.”

“So, instead of being grateful to me as a lifesaver, were you looking at me as a despicable woman who resented you?”

No, that’s not it. The Joo Eunhye I saw in my memories, apart from one deviation, was a pure woman who grew up upright. If she considers me a lifesaver, I can be sure she would never do such a thing.

But

“Other than that, I can’t understand why you would manipulate my memories…”

“…Phew”

Listening to my words, she shivered and let out a short sigh. Gradually, I saw her face, which had turned red with anger, calm down.

“You said ‘as you please,’ right? Then I have one question.”

Approaching me as I sat against the vending machine, Joo Eun-hye leaned on the machine with both hands and looked down at me.

“Why did you save me ‘as you please’? Even sacrificing your own life for it.”

“I… I don’t know either. I don’t know why I did that… why my body moved first when I saw you…”

No matter how much I replayed that day in my mind, I couldn’t find an answer to why I did what I did. Why was I so sure that a truck would hit Joo Eun-hye? Why did I take the hit for her, knowing I would get hurt? There was no answer to any of those questions.

“Hey, I thought you saved me because you knew who I was… because you knew everything about me. Why can’t I remember anything! I’ve missed you so much… I’ve been searching for you… Where is it fair to die like this…”

— Ttok, Ttok

She closed her eyes tightly. The small droplets falling from her eyes seemed to flow down her cheeks and into my eyes.

Why was she crying? Why was she searching for me? I couldn’t find an answer to any of it.

I tried to wipe away her tears, but I couldn’t even touch her, let alone wipe away her tears.

“Eun-hye. Let’s stop now…”

“What do you mean stop?”

With her face distorted from crying, she asked me.

I realized that I was no longer Joo Eun-hye, but Han Eun-seok. And at that moment, I had nothing left.

Moreover, betrayed by the family I believed were my biological parents, and realizing that the friends I had been indifferent to were precious to me… I had no reason to live.

“I can’t do that. Never!”

Violently wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, she brought her face close to mine with bloodshot eyes. Overwhelmed by her intensity, I stood up in front of her, leaning against the vending machine.

“People who are alive should live, right? Then live, not me, but you—!”

After bursting into tears, she stuttered once more, starting to wail with her hand on my shoulder.

“Hey, do you remember what Mom used to say when we were young? That people who try to take their own lives are not worth living… It’s true. On the day you died in my place 6 years ago… I was already trying to take my own life. …Because there’s nothing left for me.”

No. It’s not that there’s nothing left for you, it’s me.

I have no family… and the precious friends I never realized were important are now lost to me.

“Do you really think that way?”

…Yeah, I’m already dead anyway. But now you’re telling me to live, in your body… that’s impossible.

“What will happen to that person without you?”

That person? Who…

“Who else… Oh, it’s already time. You’re such a dilly-dally… Stop the nonsense and go back quickly. That man is waiting, right?”

Dilly-dally…? The man…?

The man.

The person who cares for me more than anyone else… my precious person who always watches over me.

If I die like this, I’ll never be able to see him again.

“There it is. I still don’t want to die. I want to live…”

As I let out the honest voice of my heart, the girl in front of me smiled.

And the ashen world disappearing with the girl.

Returning to the world with its original colors, I cleared my seat and stood up, slapping my cheeks hard with both hands to regain my composure.

– Snap!

Slightly swollen and tingling, but thanks to that, I was able to shake off the negative emotions. Regaining my energy, I moved my steps, leaving behind the disappearing girl.

*

“Why didn’t you tell the truth about the one you wanted to meet so badly?”

As I watched ‘him’ walking away with determined steps, a man whose body was completely stained black approached me and said,

“It’s okay. You’ll find out on your own without me telling you. That person is that kind of man.”

Having seen and felt all of his memories and actions, I could understand and be proud of him more than anyone else.

The black man, who seemed to find my answer amusing, raised the corners of his mouth.

“If that’s the case, I don’t mind. But you haven’t forgotten, have you? Because you handed over your lifespan to the author, time is running out.”

“…But there’s still about a year left. That should be enough.”

On the day when Han Eun-seok was hit by a truck instead of me, I could sense a dark shadow approaching him as he was being carried away in an ambulance.

Caught in despair, I heard the shocking fact from the ominous being that Han Eun-seok was going to face death.

But I couldn’t just stand by and watch Han Eun-seok die.

I had been eagerly waiting for the day we would meet again… How much my mom wanted to find him… How much I missed him…

“Then will you go in my place?”

So I answered without hesitation to the black man’s question that he would.

And the black man, who seemed to find it interesting, chuckled… The grim reaper held onto the soul of Han Eun-seok, who was trying to ascend to heaven in exchange for my lifespan, not the broken body of Han Eun-seok, but me. I was placed inside Ju Eun-hye’s body.

There was no room for regret.

On the day my mom died. If I hadn’t known about Han Eun-seok’s existence, I would have already…

“What will you do now? Haven’t you separated from your body?”

“It’s okay. Just watching is enough for me.”

Yes, all I want is for Han Eun-seok… No, for Ju Eun-hye now, to be happy.

Just in case, let’s stop forcing ourselves to erase memories like before. Because if you notice that, you’ll surely blame me… I don’t want that.

“I’ll be going now. And… thank you so much.”

“…Do you know that? You’re truly a strange woman.”

Showing an unpleasant smile, he listened to my words, then straightened up and suddenly disappeared.

“Well, I should go back too.”

To where he, who had become me, was.