episode_0019

The eyes blink.

Question at the first blink, understanding at the second blink. On the third blink…

-A deep disgust that is like hatred.

Dozens of pairs of distorted eyes stared at me.

The expression was a mixture of contempt, anger, suspicion, and disbelief, forming an image that could only be described as distorted.

I swallowed dry saliva.

My breathing became difficult.

A person’s gaze is surprisingly accompanied by physical force.

I understand that they can’t harm me, but when they see that…

okay. A feeling of overwhelming anxiety comes over you, as if you were thrown alone into the open sea.

The cigarette flickers up and down, leaving an afterimage.

I couldn’t stop the corners of my mouth from trembling due to the pressure of the gaze piercing my whole body.

Without realizing it, I force my legs to stop as they try to take a step back.

Here, never. You can’t show yourself weak.

I need to make everyone realize that I am not prey that can be easily eaten, but that I am a wild animal that should not be touched.

okay. I was already prepared for this from the beginning.

This was the world I had to live in from now on.

You can’t back down. Don’t hesitate.

Don’t be afraid.

All they can do is glare and swear.

This is nothing compared to the dead people who prey on me in the nightmares I dream of every night, right?

To calm my mind, I look back on old memories that have now faded away like old photos.

I lost both my legs and gave up everything because I couldn’t do anything.

The miserable sight of being locked in a small room, ignoring the future, and slowly rotting away.

Compared to the helplessness I felt back then, now…

Yeah, it’s much better.

At least I have legs now.

So, we can move on.

We must move on.

The steps have already begun. I can’t stop now.

If you step back, you will fall, and if you hesitate, you will eventually die.

…The trembling stopped.

—-

Together with Nigel, I crossed the academy campus with confident steps.

The crowd blocking the path split into left and right.

I turned my head towards the people staring at me and made eye contact with each one.

Each and every one of them had a distorted face, and they either lowered their heads or turned them to the side to avoid my gaze.

okay. In the end, it’s about things like this. No need to worry.

Things that we probably won’t even have to see after today.

The buzzing that passed by my ears wasn’t even worth listening to, so I ignored it.

Just looking at it, it looks like he’s either cursing at me or cursing at Ka’har.

Not long after, when we reached a narrow, deserted hallway, Nigel turned to look at me.

“…Are you okay?”

“What? You mean those guys from earlier? I don’t care. It wasn’t anything special. I expected there would be one or two idiots who would rush at me with their swords drawn.”

He bluffed calmly.

Actually, it would have been difficult if there were guys who really rushed at me.

Even if I just suppressed it, the hatred towards me could have exploded like a fuse.

“In the first place, I was just glaring at him. Well, it’s only natural since I did something. Rather, for me it is even more strange that you and Marquis Ludwig treat me so kindly. Haven’t you heard the rumors about me?”

I put into words the question I had been harboring all along.

I have always wondered why Nigel, who has the appearance of a knight and a sincerity bordering on obsession, does not show any hostility towards me.

She must know about Hershela’s actions, who attacked and slaughtered Dane civilians and sold the weak into slavery.

…On the first day, we showed hostility and stabbed each other, but that was due to a misunderstanding, so let’s overlook it.

“The rumors were definitely very sinister. Like slaughtering nearly 3,000 Danes with a smile, selling women into slavery and eating children alive.”

“……I didn’t rip off the kids.”

The rumor was even crazier than I thought.

I think slaughter and slave trading are correct. Even Hersella probably didn’t commit cannibalism.

“But in the end, rumors are just rumors. It is unbecoming a knight to be swayed by such rumors and harbor prejudices.”

“There are parts that are exaggerated, but they are not completely false rumors?”

“At least, Hashal, whom I met in person, did not seem that much of a madman. If the rumors are true, Hashal must have had an unavoidable reason why he did so.”

Nigel smiled slightly and nodded.

I looked at that smile blankly, a little dazzled.

“Didn’t the Marquis also accept Hashall? There is no way the Marquis’ judgment was wrong.”

“Is that so…?”

I still don’t know why the Marquis is doing that. They say Ka’har is the family’s enemy.

Since I didn’t know the reason, I felt uneasy about the favor.

Unlike Nigel, who was consistent on the outside and inside, I had no idea what the Marquis was thinking on the inside.

“And anyway, Dane is a provisional country. Since we are the same human race, we have a non-aggression pact with the empire, but we are not subjects of the empire.”

No, is that kind of logic?

It seemed cool just a moment ago, but the emotion seemed to have cooled down a bit.

Since Dane is a country that resisted the Empire and became independent, it would be close to an enemy country to Nigel, a knight of the Empire.

Does this part reveal a knightly way of thinking?

—-

After submitting my application documents to the academy’s administrative office, I asked if I could attend the entrance exam.

“….You want to watch the entrance exam…? Uh, um. That’s me. It’s not like it can’t be done…!”

The female employee in charge, who was perplexed, said, ‘Please wait a moment!’ With that said, I ran towards my boss.

He started shaking when he saw my face, and now he looked like he was about to shed tears.

“Well, your viewing request has been approved. It is said that there is an exclusive viewing area for special students on the second floor of the testing center! Just go there!”

“…Okay, good work.”

It looked like he was going to burst into tears if I said anything more, so I answered hesitantly and got up and walked out of the administrative office.

“…I’d rather have those guys staring at me than look like that.”

Those who are glaring at me will either glare at me, laugh at me, or ignore me.

It’s too much of a burden to deal with him as he cries and shakes as if he’s about to be eaten.

“Is that so? For me, it was more comfortable that way because there was less need to be on guard.”

Well, Nigel is my escort for now.

Among those glaring at me, I must have been on guard to see if there was someone who couldn’t control his anger and attacked me.

Not long after, we arrived at the entrance examination center.

It was a large, rectangular indoor auditorium with stairs in the form of seats surrounding the walls.

At the top of the stepped seats, a railing was installed as if to separate the floors, and behind the railings were some more luxurious seats.

Is that a viewing area for special students only?

Only three people were sitting in the almost empty seats, watching the entrance exam with displeased expressions.

A Yongin man with a bald head and sharp horns protruding from both temples.

A dwarf woman carrying a large metal bag on her back.

There was even a silver-haired woman wearing a thick fur coat like a cape, as if it wasn’t too hot.

These were characters that remained in my memory.

=======[Ludwig]========

“Marquis. Why did you bother to accept her?”

Twelve days before the academy entrance exam begins.

Standing by the window of Marquis Ludwig’s office, Shane looked down at the carriage carrying Nigel and Hassall leaving the marquis’ castle and asked Marquis Ludwig about the question he had been having.

“Were you that curious about that? Sir Shane, you even bothered to ask me the reason for my decision.”

In response to a question from an old friend, Marquis Ludwig slowly put down the magic candle, which was more awkward when he was not holding it, and closed his eyes and reminisced.

It’s a reason.

okay. At first, I planned to pretend that I was fooled and then kill him.

It was quite funny to see them spinning their heads and offering false persuasions.

Then I changed my mind and decided to expose her lies and ask her what her true intentions were.

“…I heard that he took on political responsibility and became the guardian of the Kaharites, gave them Sir Nigel, and even allowed them a training room in the family. Are you really planning on making her your successor? Even though she is the child of Lady Median, she is Kahar.”

“Kahar is ‘mixed race’. The difference is very big. At least, from the empire’s perspective.”

If it were a pureblood Kahar, he would not have accepted it.

The imperial family probably wasn’t convinced either.

But half of the blood that flows through her veins, Hashall Aishangior, is that of the Empire.

The only direct lineage of the Median family, which lost its successor and completely collapsed.

With that, I was able to persuade the imperial family.

The imperial family still hasn’t forgotten the family of the Twelve Knights.

“More than anything, she is my hope.”

“Did you say hope…?”

A wisp of smoke rose from the magic candle placed on the ashtray.

The burnt end was unable to withstand its own weight and collapsed inside the ashtray.

Marquis Ludwig looked at that scene and thought back on his own life.

his beliefs. his honor. his pride.

Love, hope, confidence, pride.

Despair and despair. The distant hatred and passion that boiled over with no end in sight.

…A goal that cannot be achieved, a feeling of helplessness that eventually subsides due to exhaustion.

And then, an unexpected opportunity finally came.

okay. She is hope.

It finally came to my heart, which was like a pile of ashes that had piled up and solidified over a long period of time, and was already completely burned out.

A hope for revenge that could not be achieved.

“She despised Kahar and her father. It wasn’t like I hated it, though. In the end, as long as she doesn’t escape the empire’s… no, my hands, the two will inevitably clash one day.”

Because he couldn’t sit idly by and watch his daughter betray Kahar and become an important figure in the empire.

The moment the news spreads, he will finally come to this wall, even if it is pushed by the public opinion of his warriors.

To the grave prepared for him.

“Wouldn’t it be fun just to imagine it? If only I could see Orhan, that cursed Orhan, torn to pieces by my daughter’s hands! For that, I can do anything. No matter what the cost, I will gladly give it!”

Marquis Ludwig gritted his teeth and laughed in delight.

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