episode_0018

One fall day. As usual, I knocked on the young lady’s door to wake her up.

“Miss, are you awake?”

I stood in front of the door and waited for an answer, but there was no answer.

After waiting for a while, I knocked on the door again.

“Lady, can I come in?”

A moment of silence. Just as I was about to knock on the door again, I heard the young lady’s voice.

[come in]

I opened the lady’s door and went in, then immediately closed the door and looked ahead.

“Excuse me, baby… … Mr.”

There, a girl without a single layer of clothing was standing with her back to the morning sunlight.

“Good morning, Sarah.”

A smile that doesn’t feel as powerful as before, a height that has grown significantly recently, and eyes that are slightly red due to something that happened. And the slight dark circles under her eyes gave her a decadent look that I couldn’t even imagine was for her to be the same age as me.

After that day when I cried for a long time in the arms of the young lady, my heart was curled up quietly in a corner of my heart. I suddenly raised my head and lowered my head to avoid eye contact.

Swoosh――Swoosh――

The sound of bare feet brushing against the carpet rang in my ears.

“――. ―――, ―――.”

“Ah, yes… … . is that so… … .”

He obviously said something, but I was so busy trying to calm the lust that was blooming in my heart that I didn’t hear it at all.

Why is this happening? Why are you doing this? You can’t do this. Miss, you’re having a hard time right now. Why do I keep thinking about this?

“――Why are you so shy?”

The moment I regained my senses, I heard the young lady’s words, so I raised my head and looked at her.

“No! Well, not at all! not… … !”

Because of the eye level difference caused by the height difference, the first thing that caught my eye was my raised breasts and pink tips as soon as I raised my head.

“I wasn’t shy… … . It’s just, it’s new, but it’s so beautiful… … .”

It’s crazy. What am I talking about? Why did you say this? Do you think this will make her feel a little better?

No, I just want to satisfy my lust. You just want to satisfy your lust by comforting the girl who is mourning the death of the head of the family.

At a time when my terrible feelings and my wavering reason were struggling to overcome each other, the young lady smiled.

“It’s really new.”

“Ahaha… … . Yes, that’s right… … .”

It was too burdensome to make eye contact with the young lady, so I forced my head to the side. The scene I saw earlier kept lingering in my head and my eyeballs kept rolling to the side.

What kind of feeling is this? I rolled my eyes back and forth as I felt my perineum becoming numb and my lower abdomen throbbing. Maybe it’s good? What should I do now? The young lady’s voice woke me up from my confused mind once again.

“… … thank you. Then, why don’t you put me in a dress now? It’s a little cold because it’s the season change.”

Why do I feel this way? Wake. You are a maid. The young lady is the person I must take care of. He is the one who protected me and the benefactor who taught me many things. Are you lusting after someone like that?

I kept my mouth shut, afraid that this sin would come out, and brought the young lady’s dress and underwear. I felt like my eyes would roll back when I felt the soft silk in my hand, but I held back and stood in front of the young lady.

“I’ll put on your underwear.”

Today’s underwear is a garter belt. If you’re going to put it on, it’s inevitable that your hands will touch her skin, right? yes? I rationalized myself and knelt in front of her and put on her underwear.

The skin was so soft, and the warmth of the skin, which had not cooled down at all even in the cold of the changing seasons, rose up to my fingertips. The moment I slightly raised my head, I inadvertently swallowed my saliva at the sight of the young lady’s clearly exposed mound.

‘Why aren’t you saying anything?’

My heart was racing to the point where I thought it might explode, but I managed to calm it down and put on her underwear. For a moment, I felt sorry for the mound that I could no longer see, but I was so disgusted with myself for not being able to hold back my lust that I closed my eyes tightly and got up from my seat.

‘Maybe you don’t know?’

“I’ll tighten the corset… … . Give strength to your stomach.”

“Yes… … .”

Wouldn’t it be okay to let go of my desires a little?

The moment that thought crossed my mind, my hand holding the straps tightening the corset tightened.

“Haha… … ! Sera… … . it hurts… … !”

“Sorry, sorry!”

What did I do… … . What was I thinking… … ? Against the lady… … .

“Ha… … . ha… … .”

Have I gone crazy? no. I’m fine. I’m fine. I was just trying to help the lady. I am… … .

“Sera, your face is very red… … ?”

“My, me?”

Perhaps it was too obvious? As the young lady said that, she swept down the corset covering her stomach.

“Yes… … . I can’t control my strength well… … . You don’t seem to be feeling well today, so go back. rest of it… … . I’ll ask Mel.”

Am I going to be abandoned?

“No! I-I’m really fine!”

I tried to appeal that I was okay, but the young lady didn’t respond and just smiled weakly.

no. It’s thrown away. Because I did something bad. Don’t be abandoned by the lady. no. no.

“Lady… … . sorry… … !”

I immediately got down on my knees and crawled in front of the young lady.

“Actually, after seeing the young lady… … . I have a bad feeling… … .”

“Bad――heart?

“So, that’s… … .”

I have to spit out all the lust I had for the young lady through my mouth. I was so afraid of that fact. Could it be that I’m being abandoned, that I can’t remain by the young lady’s side? I wonder if I will lose my spot to Mel.

I am the exclusive maid of ‘The Handmaiden’. I shouldn’t be the lady’s exclusive maid. What on earth am I if I’m not the lady’s exclusive maid? What’s left for me?

Breathing becomes rough. I don’t want to say it. But, even if I lie, she will know. Because you know everything. I, I… … .

“Looking at the young lady’s body… … .”

I closed my eyes and spit out my sins.

“I had lust.”

I had the complacent thought that, if you were a young lady, you would definitely embrace me even for my ugly appearance.

But, it was all my mistake.

“… … I feel bad.”

“Ah… … .”

no. no. Lady, why are you looking down at me with that face? Please don’t throw it away. I was wrong. I won’t harbor any bad feelings. I will do better in the future. Please hug me like last time. Please embrace me warmly. I don’t like being alone. please. miss. You can reach it like this. All you have to do is extend your arms a little.

“――! ――!?”

“――.”

Please allow me to remain me. Please tell me it’s a joke. Just like last time, spread your fan, cover your mouth, and smile. Please smile with your eyes and laugh with me. You will, right? You won’t abandon me, right?

“Sera… … . Pull me out.”

Just that one word. It threw me to the bottom of the abyss.

I am. I am… … .

“Lady… … . miss… … . sorry… … .”

I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong.

“Come to your senses.”

I looked up and Mel was standing there.

“I’m sure Sarah knows that the reason she’s having a hard time is because the matriarch’s condition has worsened.”

I nodded. The reason I was abandoned was because the young lady was suffering. Why were you suffering? It’s because of the head of the family. What’s bothering you, young lady. We have to get rid of it. I don’t want to be abandoned.

“If the matriarch’s condition improves, the lady will definitely give Sarah another chance.”

You’re giving me a second chance? And, does Mel know how to do that? I smiled and did as Mel told me. We go to a pharmacy run by a young man from the royal capital and talk about the head of the family’s condition.

Then, he returns to the mansion with a bundle of medicine prepared by the young man at the pharmacy and adds it to the food that the head of the family will eat. If I do this, you will forgive me, right? I can stand by your side again, right?

In the end, I couldn’t bear it anymore and went to see the lady. I asked Mel for a favor and went into the lady’s room, dragging the moving tray containing the tea set that Mel was planning to take. And I poured out the words that were in my head.

I don’t even know what I said. I just thought it might be what the young lady wanted, so I told her about drugging the head of the house, the reason why I had a lust for her, and also told her again about my aspirations.

But even after hearing what I said, the young lady avoided my gaze. Why not? If I’m left like this, what should I do?

“I understand what Sarah said. but… … . I also need some time… … . So, can you give me a little time… … ?”

It wasn’t a rejection. It wasn’t denial. It wasn’t about abandoning me. He just needed some time to think. Ah, you don’t have to be abandoned. The corners of my mouth soared to the sky as the joy burst from my heart.

But at the same time, tears flowed. why? Am I happy with this? I have enough of this. Lady’s, no. I’m happy just to be able to be by my master’s side. That’s my happiness.

because–

“Sera. I’ve been thinking about it… … .”

Because I am the young lady’s exclusive maid.

The ruined corners of the mouth formed a smile.