episode_0008

Long ago――that is, before I was still possessed by this damn otome game, dying and returning over and over again, and realizing that people can die like this.

There are things that are popular in various video media. For example, drug corn. Things like drug gimbap. These are foods that are said to be so addictive that they are called drugs, so although there are people who have never tried them, there is no one who has tried them just once.

Anyone who has never tried that food has probably thought at least once that it is just food, but how addictive it is to be called a drug.

I was one of them.

Well, it’s a combination that can’t help but be delicious, so it would be weirder to just pass it off as just that. Mayonnaise, butter, red pepper powder, and cheese powder. Ah, thinking about it makes me want to eat it. Should I ask you to make it later?

hmm. The story is a bit off, but what I want to say is this.

‘How addictive are real drugs, not drugs in name only?’

I smiled as I looked at the fruit that formed when the poppy flowers I bought from Mel a month ago fell.

This is a hidden space in the courtyard of the mansion that not even the people in the mansion know about. It was really by chance that I found out about this space that wasn’t even properly cleaned up because the manager didn’t know about it.

‘no… … . I hate it, I hate it… … !! It’s so unfair that I even got into a game like this, but are you telling me to marry a man and have children? Don’t be funny… … . Fuck… … !!!’

My image, which had not yet experienced a few regressions, was blurry as I ran through the bushes.

I was young back then. Full of blood and energy. I didn’t even know how to give up. I don’t even know how to comply. I couldn’t even hide the knife in my chest.

Well, in terms of age, I am younger now. He chuckled and looked away, hurting the poppy fruit.

A drop of pure white liquid peeked out from the wound on the fruit. When I dug into the wound a little more, a thick, milk-colored fluid flowed out.

I collected the poppy latex on the knife onto the cloth I had brought and looked at the remaining poppy fruit.

“It’s good to make and use opium… … . As expected, scraping and drying is cumbersome.”

Well, I’ll do it myself for the first time, and the young man from the pharmacy will take care of it from then on, so that’s okay. No, there is a possibility that the young man at the drug store might feel uncomfortable and refuse the kickback, so I think we should think of another way.

As a result of quietly scraping the latex from the fruit, I was able to collect about a fistful of latex. Now all I have to do is dry it.

The cloth containing the latex was wrapped well and pushed into a cave-like space between tree roots that was not visible to the human eye.

“Now all that’s left is… … . What should I do with the leftover poppy fruit? … .”

Even though a fistful of latex was scraped off, there were still eight berries left.

I told Mel to buy an armful, but maybe I should have just told her to buy a fair amount. I didn’t know it would come back like this.

It would be a waste to just throw away the poppies that I paid money for… … . Should I plant it here? It gets enough sunlight, and there are trees nearby, so if you dig a little bit of ground, there will be enough moisture, so it will grow well.

“… … ah. Yes.”

Don’t plant them all, take the rest and put them in a wine bottle. If you put the whole fruit in, it will look fishy, so you should cut it and add just a little bit of the latex.

Because I don’t drink wine anyway.

“It’s a real drug wine.”

With a chuckle, he wrapped the poppy fruit in another cloth, placed it in his arms, and left the secret garden that no one knew about.

After quickly confirming that there was no one inside the garden, I walked around the outskirts of the garden and headed toward the mansion.

“Lady――!! miss–!! Where are you!!”

As I was walking towards the mansion, I stopped when I heard Sarah’s voice coming from the center of the garden. I headed back to the mansion, feeling a part of my heart tickle as I heard a voice desperately searching for me, like a child who had lost his mother.

Oh, should I ask Mel to make me some tea? I want to drink Darjeeling.

After a while.

I sat on the terrace of my room, drank the tea prepared by Mel, and looked at the garden. To be exact――

“Black… … . Miss… … . Where have you gone, leaving me behind? … .”

I am watching Sarah walking around crying like a lost puppy.

Mel has now been kicked out of the room. Well, I said I just kicked the horse out, but I just ordered him to do something else. I have no intention or reason to show this to Mel.

“Really, I want to see you doing that for the rest of your life.”

I raised the binoculars with long vertical poles to my eyes and looked at Sarah’s face.

The sight of Sarah shaking her legs like a newborn goat, with a mixture of anxiety that she may have abandoned her, sadness at being left alone, and fear.

It was so much fun.

It’s ironic that not long ago, they told me that I shouldn’t break down early, but they’re bullying me like this again, but I’ve put up with this a lot.

When I think of the betrayal I felt when I was stabbed in the back, and the despair and sadness I felt when I drank poison and vomited blood and my limbs trembled… … . I want to kill him right now, but then there’s no point in returning.

Well, I thought I could just turn a blind eye and kill the people who betrayed me and return by dying if I got caught, but I don’t want to be in pain. really.

“I don’t want to be sick anymore… … .”

If someone else sees me like this, they will definitely say this.

‘Crazy bitch.’

‘Selfish bitch.’

Yes, that’s right. I’m a selfish bitch. So what.

I am taking revenge because you betrayed me before returning. I’m not bad. You are the one who betrayed me first. It would have been nice if he had treated me well in the first place when I approached him in a nice way.

“Hehe.”

I won’t do that kind of self-justification.

Anyway, betrayal happened in the last episode, and to the current Serana, the matriarch, the prince, and other traitors, ‘You are traitors! So, I have no intention of saying, ‘Even if I take revenge, you shouldn’t feel wronged!’

Right now, I’m planning to harass Sarah, turn the head of the family into a drug dealer, and make my younger brother into the world’s most evil child. It has absolutely nothing to do with what happened in the last episode.

hmm. This is a little weird, but that’s why I do this anyway.

“Lady… … .”

Because I want to do that.

I’m just thinking of returning it to you because I’ve been suffering from it for so long. How is that different from revenge?

It’s different. It’s very different.

Revenge can be a just thing if you look at it from a different angle, but my evil deeds are not like that.

Now, let’s take an example.

.

.

.

A long, long time ago. Person A brutally murdered Person B’s parents.

B, who realized this fact, cut off A’s head with the knife he was wearing at his waist.

The villagers who saw this were shocked, but B cried out in tears.

‘My revenge is justified!! ‘A killed my parents!!’

Ah, I see. Something like that happened. The village people understood B’s unfairness and embraced him.

.

.

.

Who is the bad person here? okay. It’s A. B is simply an unfair victim who has brought justice to A, his evil enemy who killed his parents.

okay. Revenge is called revenge because it has legitimacy. Harassing and killing people for no reason is not revenge.

Let’s change the story a little bit. In that story, let’s say B’s parents are alive and well, and A was also a normal village youth.

And let’s say B remembers his past life and brutally kills A in front of the villagers and says this.

‘A killed my parents in the last episode. So I killed him.’

Who will sympathize with those words? Who will protect him? Who will understand and who will embrace?

No one is here. Because in the eyes of people other than B, the person involved, it will only appear that B suddenly went crazy and killed A.

That’s my situation right now. Even if I kill Sarah and the others now, saying, ‘This is your reward for betraying me last time,’ would they understand that? Should I accept it?

It’s fun. I’ll definitely accept it. It is obvious that I will be accused of being crazy and arrested.

So my actions are not revenge or anything. Just an evil deed for my own self-satisfaction. It is nothing more than a manifestation of humanity that has become distorted after dozens of regressions.

and. Even though I know that this is an evil act, I am not a normal crazy person.

“What am I thinking.”

It’s only August, but I’m thinking all sorts of useless thoughts, wondering if it’s already fall. I shook my head, brushed away random thoughts, and looked down at the garden.

I guess I’ve given up looking now, and I see Sarah coming back to the mansion, sniffling, and I sneak out of the balcony.

“Sera? What are you doing there?”

“Lady… … ?”

Sarah, who was looking up at me blankly, turned her face bright red like a puppy that found its owner, and quickly ran into the mansion.

As I sat down again and drank Darjeeling, the door burst open and Sarah, her face stained red, ran towards me and hugged me.

“Lady――!!”

“Are you crying again? Hehe, it seems like Sarah cries at least once a month.”

“I thought the lady was gone… … . I am… … . I… … .”

He smiled while stroking Sarah’s head.

One August night deepened along with Sarah’s cries.