episode_0001

――Too-duk-duk

The sky was unusually gloomy, but the rain wasn’t that loud. It was just the late spring rain that started the belated fall of the flowers.

Although I couldn’t fully see the outside thanks to the faded window, I was satisfied with just the sight of the water droplets flowing down the window.

And right now, it was my favorite moment while I was stuck here, and at the same time, it was the time to indulge in meaningless daydreams.

At first it was simply because I was afraid.

I’m afraid that someone might come and harm me. I’m afraid they’ll recognize me through this glass window and spit out an unspeakable curse word.

So I liked this window.

Even if I am in front of them, people will not recognize me.

Of course, it didn’t matter at all now.

I threw away all those personal feelings and left only the necessary things.

All useless things must be thrown away.

I realized too late the most necessary truth in life. I realized it only after losing everything.

No, that’s why it was ‘truth’. If anyone can reach it, how can it be ‘truth’?

Anyway, now I just like this window. I don’t know why.

It could be that you just look at it every day and become attached to it, or it could be that you like the way you become emotional without even realizing it when you stand in front of it.

Maybe I feel a connection to the same disease.

Just as I cannot see the true face of this window, people also cannot see the true face of me. You could even say they were comrades.

–smart

If I was always dreaming vaguely, interruptions were bound to come.

It was very similar to waking up just before the climax of a sweet dream.

It was like that today too. A simple knocking sound echoed in the room, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Master. I made coffee.”

She is Cecil.

She was once my exclusive maid, and as a result, she is a very unlucky person who is still in charge of cleaning up after her.

As always, Cecil opened the door with a cup of coffee. It was her daily routine that she had not missed even for a single day since coming here.

“… I’ll leave it here.”

And as usual, she indifferently placed the coffee on the small table.

Although it is located right next to Bangsan, it is the furthest place from me. It was also a place that was difficult for me to reach.

“Do you have any problem?”

When I gave her a strange look, she asked. It was a dry tone with absolutely no emotion to be found.

“You know… I was wondering if you could bring it to me.”

– I answer, and alternately look at my legs and her face.

Then she answered in a slightly exaggerated manner. He raised his eyebrows slightly and even pretended to cover his mouth with one hand.

“Oh, sorry about this. Because I lack a little sense.”

Cecile immediately raised her coffee cup upon hearing my words.

This was clearly behavior outside of my expected range.

I wondered if something pleasant had happened to her this morning, but I had no way of knowing.

――Rattle

‘Are you really going to bring it to me?’

But as expected, it was all for naught.

She took a step towards me but immediately stopped. Then he turned around and put the glass down on the table again.

“You should do that yourself. Unfortunately, I cannot accommodate all requests.”

“… … .”

“I hope you enjoy it.”

–bang!

After speaking indifferently, she left the room completely indifferently. Nevertheless, I feel like the violently closed door represents her emotions.

“Hu… … .”

A pitifully callous attitude.

But I, too, understand how she feels. She would never have wanted to be here now either.

‘You are no longer my son from now on. He was never a son. ‘Be thankful you survived.’

Last fall, I was expelled from the family.

‘Young Master of the Exalted Duke’s Family’ was no longer a term used to refer to me.

Honestly, I thought I might die. Even though I didn’t do it, the crime against me was one most worthy of hanging.

But does this mean that even if we die soon, we are still blood relatives? The status of the head of the family as a duke overshadowed that.

When he excommunicated me, he took away all the benefits of nobility that I had enjoyed, but also left me Cecil, along with this old house.

Perhaps Cecil’s purpose is to take care of me just enough to keep me from dying and to keep an eye on me if I do anything foolish, but this is still something.

Of course, at the time, I wanted the head of the family to believe me.

But now I feel like this is better. It feels like everything that bound me has disappeared.

I threw away a superficial business card like ‘Duke and the next head of the family’, so now I could do whatever I wanted.

For me, it was more good news than anything else.

‘driving me crazy.’

The scent of roasted coffee vibrates in a sealed room.

Judging by the very sweet feeling at the tip of her nose, she could tell that it was the same coffee she usually drank.

I feel sorry for her, but I also feel that she is amazing.

In any case, she probably doesn’t like the situation now. Yet, you do not forget your duty.

I wonder if she hates me.

There was a time when I also hated her for not believing what I said.

Still, if it weren’t for her, I would have already died, so I decided not to curse at her.

“Ugh… When will we get there?”

I made up my mind with a little bit of complaining.

The coffee could be reached in just five steps, but for me, those steps were the most daunting.

However, I never liked cold coffee. The taste of coffee that had even lost its scent was worse than not eating it at all.

I had no choice but to pray earnestly in my heart. I hope the warmth will last just a little longer.

At times like this, I hated the rainy weather.

The air in the room, which was colder than usual because the sun wasn’t shining, was very poisonous to Coffee.

“Tskcha… .”

With that big determination, I started crawling towards the coffee.

As my whole body touches the floor, I feel sad and miss my wheelchair like crazy.

This is why I have to keep the wheelchair in my room, but I can’t muster up the courage to say that to Cecil.

It was obvious that I would be rejected unconditionally. I would be lucky if I didn’t get hit in the face when I took it out.

‘It’s a difficult life to even drink coffee.’

Only after barely reaching the table did I sigh. It’s nothing special, but my forehead is dripping with sweat.

And her coffee was delicious as always. I felt like the blood flow was finally returning to my body.

Some people will.

Why go to such lengths just for coffee? I wonder if I can just not drink it.

But I couldn’t.

For me, locked in this room and unable to do anything, this cup of coffee was more precious than anything else.

In addition, it was a leisurely time that I would soon lose, so I had to enjoy it as much as possible.

**

The reason I soon lost my composure was simple.

And it stems from a letter placed in front of me.

[Your suspension will be lifted effective May 11th. Accordingly…]

It was a letter sent from the academy two weeks ago. It was also the first letter sent to me while I was trapped here.

‘I don’t think it’s particularly fake… .’

No matter how many times I read it, read it again, and look back on it, it’s just amazing.

It was cruel, and there was only a simple statement saying that the suspension had been lifted and that I could come back to the academy, but I couldn’t understand it.

The crime I have been accused of is a crime comparable to treason in this empire.

However, the academy felt that expelling me from school was not enough, so they lifted the suspension.

It’s a difficult decision to make from an academy that values reputation so much.

I don’t know whose idea it was, but it was sure to get some criticism from the public.

Well, I couldn’t know what the higher-ups at the academy were thinking, and I didn’t want to know.

I just liked it.

How long has it been since I read a letter and was filled with excitement? It feels like my heart, which has been stopping for a long time, has started beating again.

I’ve never received romantic letters from the most popular women in the world, but nothing can compare to how I feel now.

Yes, I want to go. I really want to go to the academy like crazy.

There was someone I had to find, and finding that person was the only and final goal I had right now.

So far, the methods have been too vague… I could only daydream about ways to get to the Academy, but now it was different.

As if there is really no way to just die, my last chance has come.

At first, I hated God so much for possessing me in this world and throwing me into the abyss, but now I felt grateful, even if just a little.

“… … .”

There were not necessarily only good things in the torrent of such exciting emotions.

Even though I wanted to deny it, there was a tingling feeling stuck in a corner of my heart.

‘Please…please stop now! All the evidence is screaming it’s you! Stop now… get out of my life.’

‘How could you? Were all the images you showed me fake? Is that really true?!!’

‘Why on earth… is that so? Why did you do something like that? If you have a mouth, speak!’

Many aspects came to mind.

Past relationships that have now become bad relationships, perhaps even worse.

Yes, if I went to the Academy, I had to face them.

I thought I had already sorted out all my personal feelings about them, but it seems that wasn’t necessarily the case.

memory.

Yes, it’s a memory. Its presence was quite large. It was a huge entity that I could not erase even if I erased its memories.

Because of the things that started playing in my head, emotions that I thought were dead were shining, albeit faintly.

“Ha… ”

I suddenly have a headache.

It may be that I’m overloaded by bringing up my emotions in an unexpected way.

After all, it was right to ignore things like memories.

Now that it has faded even beyond that glass window, I can’t even look at it as a memory.

Everyone hates me anyway, and I hate everyone.

You can just ignore their misguided interests.

If it gets in the way, just remove it.

I spent time thinking about so many plans.

And finally, the morning of the day we headed back to the academy dawned.