What Should Have Been Done (1)

With a brief sound of friction as our lips met, Ethan looked at me with an odd gaze. For a moment, he seemed unable to comprehend what had just happened to him.

Only after seeing my flushed face, hot enough to feel against his skin, did he barely seem to understand that he had been kissed. Though the kiss had been so brief that he still couldn’t hide his bewilderment.

“…D-does this answer your question?”

“……”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t convince you with words. I didn’t think my eloquence alone would be enough to assure you, Ethan-nim, so I had no choice but to show you through action.”

Still, this much should have been enough for Ethan to understand. What kind of woman would brazenly kiss a man she had no feelings for?

Moreover, in Lilith’s body, I had never kissed anyone other than Ethan. …Well, strictly speaking, I hadn’t kissed anyone in my previous life either, but that was beside the point.

At this point, I thought Ethan might finally release his grip on my arms and legs, but unfortunately, the pressure holding me down didn’t lessen-instead, it tightened even more.

“Ethan-nim? Could you let me go now…?”

“…Not enough yet.”

“…Huh?”

“Open your mouth, Lilith.”

“Mmph?!”

As I reflexively parted my lips slightly at his words, Ethan tilted his head at a 45-degree angle and pressed his lips against mine from above.

A somewhat French kiss-no, to be precise, it felt even deeper than the one we’d shared before. Back then, it had been a straightforward meeting of lips with Ethan’s tongue slipping into my mouth, but this time, his mouth sealed over mine completely, as if intent on claiming every inch.

Ethan’s thick tongue, delving deeper than before, explored my mouth as if it were his own territory.

*Slurp, slurp.*

“Mmmph?! Hngh, hmph…!”

*Slurp, slurp, slurp.*

“Ngh, hng… Hah, hmph…!”

The insides of my lips, my gums, the roof of my mouth, behind my teeth, the tip of my tongue, beneath my tongue-

Ethan adjusted the angle of our joined lips repeatedly, pushing his soft muscle inside, making me feel as though every part of my mouth was being violated.

In a way, it was a kiss so intense it might as well have been sex. A hole being filled with something long, exchanging fluids-it was almost enough to make me imagine that this was, in fact, real sex.

Even after nearly a minute of this, Ethan showed no signs of pulling away, so I had no choice but to make a decision.

*Chu~*

“Hah, hah…!”

*Chu~, slurp~*

“Ngh, haah… Hyaah…!”

Thinking that my flustered attempts to evade Ethan’s tongue might be prolonging things, I decided to simply go along with the deep kiss he wanted.

He had insisted that a simple peck wasn’t enough and shoved his tongue in without warning, but surely he wouldn’t keep me like this until morning.

If I just let him have his way, sharing lips and tongues like this, he’d probably be satisfied and release me on his own.

It wasn’t as if I was indulging his stubborn behavior because I wanted to. All I wanted was for this uncomfortable moment to end as quickly as possible.

In a situation where I had nearly feared losing my virginity, I even felt relieved that it had ended with just sharing the inside of my mouth.

…And so, about three minutes after we began sharing each other’s lips-

In the midst of exchanging sensations through lips and tongues, an indescribable, strange feeling tugged at me from just below my sternum.

*Slurp, slurp~*

“Ngh, mmph?!”

…W-what was that? That sensation just now?

We had only been kissing, lips pressed together, yet suddenly, an odd, stimulating sensation rose from below, leaving me even more confused.

Had Ethan taken advantage of my dazed state to touch me somewhere? But his hands remained firmly locked around my wrists, unmoving. Unable to pinpoint the source of the sensation, my mind grew even more chaotic.

‘It felt similar to when Ethan touched my chest before…’

While I was still bewildered, Ethan’s tongue rubbed against my momentarily stilled tongue, up and down. By the time I snapped out of my daze from the strange sensation, we were already deep into the kiss again.

*Slurp, slurp.*

“Nngh, hah…!”

*Slurp, slurp.*

“Hah, ngh… Hah…!”

As I focused once more on the act of sharing saliva through lips and tongue, that same lewd sensation began swirling in my mind again.

I wasn’t being touched anywhere, nor was I exposing myself to Ethan, yet the strange pleasure from the friction of our tongues sent waves of heat through my head.

*Drip.*

‘Just how long does he plan to keep this up…?’

Despite my confusion at the sensation of something wet between my legs, Ethan still pressed his face close to mine, nearly burying the back of my head into the soft mattress. There was no escape.

Just as I began to wonder if he really intended to keep our lips locked until morning, Ethan slowly pulled away, leaving a lewd strand of saliva connecting us-proof of the deep kiss we’d shared.

“…Hah, hah, hah…”

“……”

“A-are you… satisfied now?”

“……”

His expression was complicated. The anger from earlier seemed to have faded, but traces of lingering frustration remained.

And for me, staring at that expression, the confusion lingered too. The Ethan I knew would have let me go by now, but today, he seemed oddly persistent.

“…J-just in case you’re misunderstanding something, let me clarify.”

“……”

“As I said before, I’ve never kissed anyone other than you, Ethan-nim-no, to be precise, I’ve never kissed anyone else at all.”

“…Yeah, I know.”

“In other words, right now, you’re the one closest to my heart. Even after saying all this, do you still need proof?”

“……”

Ethan remained silent, his face flushed as he stared at me. Under that gaze, it was only natural to feel pressured.

His expression looked conflicted, as if he wanted to say something. But at least in this situation, it was safe to assume he had no intention of actually raping me… probably.

Fortunately, as I had guessed, Ethan gradually loosened his grip on me and slowly lifted his weight off my body.

“I’m sorry, Lilith.”

“……”

“I… I was being pathetic. In my head, I knew you wouldn’t leave me for someone else, but I couldn’t help doubting you again.”

“…It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I knew I’d scare you by doing this, but in the moment, I couldn’t hold back.”

“……”

‘In the moment, I couldn’t hold back.’

That wasn’t exactly the best apology. It almost sounded like he was implying this could happen again.

But Ethan’s sudden aggression today was unusual. He had always been almost obsessive about avoiding things I disliked, so this sudden shift was strange.

‘Wait, come to think of it…’

When was the last time I had relieved Ethan’s sexual urges?

The last memory was probably near the end of last semester. He had gotten angry when I secretly went out without telling him, and as punishment, he had taken it out on me.

Before that, the last ‘reward’ I had given him was after his first ‘complete victory’ against Harold-in the bathroom.

Thinking about it, I couldn’t help but wonder: maybe Ethan’s outburst today was the result of pent-up frustration.

The person he loved most-his lover (albeit temporarily)-had been sharing the same bed with him every night.

Not just sharing a bed, but the same space. Even now, we were careful not to make things awkward, but at least once or twice a month, we’d accidentally see each other changing clothes-living in such close proximity, day in and day out.

Even with winter break in between, we had been living like this for nearly half a year. Maybe Ethan’s behavior today was partly my fault for not paying attention to his needs. Unintentionally, but I had been tormenting him for half a year.

His sudden aggression might have been because I hadn’t relieved his urges. If I had let him touch my chest even once or twice in the past six months, he wouldn’t have imagined me leaving him for the Hero.

‘…In the end, it’s my responsibility.’

If I left his urges half-satisfied today, the backlash next time could be even worse.

And if that happened, there was a real risk of crossing a line. To prevent that, I had to relieve him at least once.

It wasn’t as if I hadn’t rewarded Ethan lately because his skills had dulled. My standards for rewards had simply risen.

So giving him one overdue reward now wouldn’t seem strange to him. …Probably.

‘It’s not like I’m allowing this because I want him…’

It was just to soothe Ethan’s frustration and prevent any potential disasters caused by his pent-up desires.

There wasn’t a shred of personal desire in it.