Trial of 4, Cleaning King Augeas

Marriage is about willingly dedicating your time to your family.

And naturally, there are times when you have to spend time for your family’s family as well.

Now is one of those times.

“Damn it, the best hunter in Greece, and I’m stuck here cleaning up shit.”

“Don’t complain so much.”

Beside me, Theseus, the ‘man’ who still hasn’t grown even 1cm taller, is digging into the ground with a shovel.

It’s more accurate to say we’re making a waterway, but that waterway is almost complete.

“Thanks to you thinking of this, we don’t have to clean up all that caked-on crap one by one, right?”

“Of course. How could we clean that all up individually? Even if they’re a neighboring allied nation, cleaning that up is insane. Damn, and we can’t even complain about it.”

At the end of the waterway we’re digging is a massive cattle shed.

From the outside, it looks like an ordinary barn, but aside from the suspiciously clean equipment, the inside is indescribably filthy.

“What’s the point of raising cows blessed by the god Helios? The cows are rolling around in shit and eating shit to grow. Ugh, talking about shit just pisses me off more.”

If I had my way, I’d grab Helios and shove his head into that barn, but that’s a story for when my lifespan as a human is over and I ascend to Olympus.

Besides, the centuries-old buildup of dung in that barn is something that Theseus, the Theban soldiers, and I will solve all at once, so I can’t shove Helios in there.

“Damn it. Hey, Theseus. That gay king promised to give us half the cows if we finish cleaning this, right? Is that for sure?”

“Of course. We even wrote a contract. If you don’t fulfill the contract after writing it, you’re doomed to ruin.”

Theseus subtly took out the papyrus from his pocket and put it back in.

The papyrus, tightly bound with a red ribbon, contained the request he made to the Cadmus Grand Shrine, and the compensation we would receive when we solved this problem was specifically written down.

I, who has seen my fair share of contracts in the modern era, and Theseus, whom I uniquely acknowledge as being as smart as me, cross-verified it.

There’s no problem with the contract, so all that’s left is to solve it.

“That gay king probably never thought we could finish this in just one day. He probably thought we’d be shoveling shit here for years, suffering like dogs. Then he’d sneakily send a woman, get her pregnant. Predictable.”

“Well, all the other kingdoms are the same. But why do you keep calling King Augeias ‘gay king’ on your own?”

“Because ‘gay’ is in his name. Alright, then, let’s destroy it!”

I raised my special hammer high.

The soldiers who were holding shovels near the waterway quickly moved to the sides, and Theseus also checked the waterway one last time, completing the final inspection.

“Smash it.”

“Let’s finish this quickly and go home to have sex!”

“Whatever.”

Kwaaaaaang!!

When I broke the dam with the hammer, the river water instantly began to flow along the waterway we had dug.

At first, the water flowed gently, but the moment the dam collapsed, it poured out like a waterfall, and a torrent began to pour out as if the river’s course was changing.

“Wow, it’s flowing down nicely.”

Swaaaaaaaㅡㅡㅡㅡ!!

“I was worried it would be as weak as Theseus-nom’s piss, but thankfully it’s flowing down as powerfully as mine!”

“What are you talking about? Piss? Or jizz?”

“Of course, both.”

“You’re crazy.”

Theseus gave me a contemptuous look, but it didn’t really matter.

Because that strong current instantly covered the barn, sweeping away the floor of the barn.

“That barn, it’s really blessed by the god Helios, right?”

“Of course. If it weren’t, it would have rotted away long ago due to the hundreds of years of accumulated pollutants.”

Even though we brought river water to sweep away the barn, the barn still maintains its shape.

“It’s a good thing we’re doing this during the day, not at night. Because Helios’s blessing is reaching it.”

Since the barn’s shape is maintained by sunlight, no matter how strong the river is, it can’t possibly damage a cattle shed blessed by the sun god.

Instead, it can wash away the excrement sufficiently.

“I don’t want to go down there.”

Swaaaaaaaㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

Water flows from top to bottom.

Naturally, the water that washes away the waste will flow far away, below the cattle shed, and the end will be the new pit we dug in advance.

“Later, when a lake forms there, we should call it Cow Dung Lake.”

“A lake full of cow dung on the bottom. Wow, that’s terribly awful.”

“I know, right? Well, let’s kill some time and then block the waterway. After checking the condition of the cattle shed.”

“…Hey.”

Just as I was about to unfold the locket hanging on my necklace, Theseus asked me in a serious voice.

“Why did you really get married?”

“Huh?”

“Wasn’t it that you prefer to find a female you want to bang and have sex with her, rather than doing such annoying things after getting married?”

“Ah, you’re talking about that.”

It’s a story that Theseus, who isn’t married yet, can tell.

“You little shit. You’ll know when you get married.”

Ah.

I want to go back to Thebes quickly, bury my face in Megara’s chest, suck on them like crazy, and then kiss her while thrusting my dick inside.

“Isn’t it that you didn’t get married to not have sex with other women, but to only have sex with the princess?”

“That’s not it.”

I may have sex with Megara, but it doesn’t mean I’ll have sex with Megara for the rest of my life.

“Don’t you eat biscuits just because you have bread?”

“Wow, try saying that in front of the princess once. She’ll flip out, won’t she?”

“I say it openly?”

I put my hand in the coolly flowing stream once, then wiped the sweat flowing on my forehead.

“Megara herself knows. And sometimes we invite other women to enjoy ourselves.”

The first in Greece.

The appearance of an invited woman.

“You’re really a capable piece of trash.”

“What’s wrong with a capable man taking several women? You’re hitting on this woman and that woman anyway.”

“I’m receiving love from various women in the process of adventure, and you’re…sigh, never mind. Let’s not talk about it.”

I was about to launch a counterattack, but Theseus waved his hand and backed down first.

“Let’s eat some meat until it’s cleaned up.”

“I guess so. We can’t just sit around for the remaining time. Let’s take our time and watch while eating meat.”

Swaaaaaaa.

“Ugh. I want to finish this quickly, take those cows over there, and then eat beef. The chuck flap tail will melt in my mouth.”

Until the cleaning of the cattle shed was completed, we leisurely ate meat.

* * *

“I can’t give them to you.”

“What?”

As soon as I went to King Augeias and reported, that bastard immediately changed his face as if his mind had changed between going to the bathroom and coming out.

“No, what do you mean? The contract clearly states that as soon as the cleaning of the cattle shed is completed, you will give us half of the cows.”

“That kind of contract, did I write it? Chancellor, did I write it?”

“You did write a contract, but I don’t believe you ever said you would give away the cows from the cattle shed.”

“Oh, really. I see. Haha, my memory is getting hazy these days.”

Ah.

I see.

This human is pretending to have dementia.

‘How dare you.’

He probably wanted to give us alcohol and send women to us, who would be suffering in the cattle shed, to get our baby seed, but unfortunately, we have no intention of doing that.

We have no intention of being played by King Augeias’s actions.

“First of all-“

“Oh, yes. First of all, Theseus-yang. With you-“

“-Yang?”

Theseus’s expression immediately contorted.

I wondered why that king was pretending to have dementia, but it seems he wasn’t aiming for my baby seed, but Theseus’s baby room.

“This fucking….”

“Hey, Theseus. How about doing that?”

“Should I do it? It’s shitty. The gods wouldn’t say anything if I mocked someone who violated a sacred contract, right?”

“That’s right.”

“What are you two talking about….”

Flap!

I lifted Theseus’s clothes up.

Greek men’s clothes are all like that, but since men also wear skirt-like clothes that come up to their knees, if I lift the front, what’s underneath is immediately revealed.

“Suck my dick.”

Bbuuuuu.

King Augeias’s eyes turn downwards.

The massive lump hanging down between Theseus’s legs was comparable to King Augeias’s skinny arms.

“M…man?”

“I’m a man, you bastard.”

Theseus, enraged by King Augeias, who tried to ignore the contract and screw us over, raised his middle finger at the king.

“I think you were trying to hit on me because you thought I was a woman, but I’m a man, you son of a bitch!”

It’s insulting to royalty, but as long as we have the contract, there’s no problem.

“You’re probably trying to steal the contract and discard it, but no way. Nope.”

As long as we protect the contract with the king’s seal and fingerprint, there will be no problems even if we return to Thebes later.

Because King Augeias broke the contract with the Cadmus Grand Shrine.

“…Tsk.”

The king.

“I like it even more.”

“What…?”

“Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean you don’t have a backdoor. Hehe, just thinking about you being pounded from behind, leaking stiffly erect jizz-“

He lived up to his name.

“Hey, Heracles.”

“Ah. Instead of butchering the cows, I should butcher the king first.”

Under the blessing of Zeus.

Kill the Greek gay.

Afterwards.

A disturbance occurred within the palace, and King Augeias died.