The Taste of Emotion (3)

After sharing some silly chatter with my slightly dumber self, the ragtag Parsihig pushed aside some chairs and revealed his long, black hair. The hair tie that had been holding it back seemed to have snapped, leaving it a mess. He crackled like a broken radio.

“What the… what is this…”

It’s a wonder he’s still alive. I didn’t sense any particular danger, so I ignored him. There was no murderous intent in that guy’s body. It would be more accurate to say that even the will to harbor murderous intent had been broken. Parsihig staggered, then leaned heavily against a broken chair for support. He stared blankly at the writhing Artania-nim.

“A, Artania-nim…?”

His eyes were filled with a variety of emotions. Confusion, despair, anger… and a hint of relief as he realized his master wasn’t dead. He stood up. Amidst that swirling vortex of emotions, Parsihig wandered through the ruined fortress, towards Artania-nim, who now had nothing left.

“Please, get up…”

The sight of him supporting the immobile Artania-nim was like a scene from a romance movie. Of course, it didn’t move me in the slightest. I’d fallen too far into the abyss to find any enjoyment in that kind of thing, and besides, they’re cannibals. I’d sooner hate them than pity them. Now and forever.

The Copy Ego, having reattached the clothes torn by the shockwave, spoke to them in a truly calm tone. I didn’t expect a response. This was a notice.

“You two just stay there and have a cozy chat. I have some things to do.”

“…”

“If you run, I’ll kill you. Make a good decision.”

Just in case, should I kill them? If they have some ultimate space magic that I don’t know about, it’ll be a headache.

‘….’

The Copy Ego weighed Parsihig’s life and ultimately put the weight on ‘don’t kill.’ Judging by the situation, it seemed like Parsihig was the one actively moving, not Artania-nim. He’d be a better source of information to extract. And since long-distance teleportation inevitably involves spellcasting, I’d be able to prepare to some extent.

Static crackled.

“I… understand.”

He nodded.

I didn’t sense any lies.

“Ah… and.”

The Copy Ego gathered and condensed Mana, creating a small bead. The materialization of Mana. And to top it off, I crammed in an explosive spell. I don’t know if Parsihig noticed this trick, but he seemed to realize that this bead was a very suspicious object. Mainly in terms of his lifeline. However, he had no choice.

“Swallow it.”

“Is it poison?”

“If you try anything funny, I’ll detonate it.”

“It’s a bomb, then.”

A look of resignation. The defeated have no rights. He squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed the small bomb. As the blue bead slid down his throat, Parsihig felt something invisible constricting his neck. The unfolding of a spell. His body was turning into a bomb. Parsihig gritted his teeth and silently watched his body transform into a bomb.

Artania-nim’s pupils trembled as he witnessed all of this.

A red-haired mage. Even after searching through all of his memories, he had never seen or heard of such a woman. Could it be? A Demon hunter secretly prepared by the Holy Empire? No. If that were the case, he would sense divine power. Then a hero? …That’s not it either. The Demon King’s revival is not yet. In any case, the current situation was the worst. Artania-nim wanted a solution to the current problem.

If only there was even a second-best option.

And the Mana that bitch crammed into his body… I don’t know what kind it is. Even if he tried to pull it out, it stuck like gum and wouldn’t come off. As if each Mana particle had a will of its own. …Is she really human? Only his pale blue lips trembled, unable to move his body.

Regardless, the Copy Ego sighed deeply in disappointment.

‘Yujin. Prepare.’

-Wh, what for?

‘Synchronization. It’s time to say goodbye. It was nice meeting you, and let’s never meet again.’

-Wh, what are you talking about…?

‘Just remember this one thing. Next time. You try. To pull this kind of bullshit. And make. Me. I’m biting my tongue off. And killing myself.’

I mean it. Once is enough with the cleanup.

The Copy Ego led Yujin’s body and laid her down in a neat place. The shattered, dusty ceiling came into view. A scene of the world I’ll never see again. As annihilation drew near, all sorts of thoughts came to mind. Maybe. It might be better to live in this incomplete state. Do I really have to go back to that time?

Sometimes a fool is happier than a genius.

“Haa…”

Whether it’s right to restore my memories is another matter, but for whatever reason, synchronization cannot be stopped. Is death only when your head is cut off and your heart explodes? Well. Yujin knows better what I’m trying to say.

I am the only one who can prove Yujin.

I start synchronization.

Consciousness wavers greatly. Cracks began to form in the Copy Ego’s ego. It was a process of softening to become one with Yujin’s ego. Of course, no one would feel good about their ego being shattered. The Copy Ego simply stared blankly, accepting her fate and waiting for complete annihilation.

-…Hey.

‘Yeah?’

-Thank you.

‘….’

Thank you…. It was a word I never imagined would come out of my mouth. The Copy Ego kept repeating the word over and over again. I could feel a little bit of the purity that had now disappeared, so I repeated it over and over.

I might be a little jealous of this…. I’ve never been dissatisfied with my role, but seeing my pure self like that made me feel a little regret.

IF. If. The question I asked countless times after falling into this world. If I had fallen here with my memories lost. Rather. If I had fallen into this world as a weak adventurer. Rather. If I hadn’t fallen into a place like this. Yujin, who knew how to express gratitude honestly, was the ‘if’ she had so desperately wanted.

If she knew that synchronization was the Copy Ego’s death, she would refuse synchronization. The current Yujin, well, it’s a little hard for me to say it myself, but she was pure. The Copy Ego knew this fact all too well, so she didn’t open her mouth. I didn’t want to find purity even by denying myself. I didn’t want me to become two either.

‘…Goodbye.’

I will live as me.

The world collapses.

* * *

It was a dreamlike haze. Talking to another me, fighting together. Finally defeating the two Demons. It may be a little childish, but it’s by no means light. It felt like I had dreamed such a long story.

I tasted a bitter taste of blood in my mouth. My gums were torn because I had clenched my teeth too tightly.

“….”

When I opened my eyes, all my memories returned. Not only my memories, but also everything the Copy Ego saw and felt.

I was dizzy. The moment synchronization ended, all the emotions the Copy Ego felt came in unfiltered. A jumble of emotions. I laughed and cried like a severely mentally ill patient. Goddamn it. This isn’t my will. The emotions left by the duplicate ego were unbelievably rich.

I clearly duplicated the state just before I lost my memory… but for some reason, my personality changed somewhat. I’m not that cheerful or reckless. I should be praised for completing the task successfully. Anyway.

‘…This sucks.’

Besides, this crazy bitch, as if she wasn’t my copy, the first thing she did after taking my body was masochistic self-pleasure. I mentally added two things to my ‘things I shouldn’t do in the future’ list. Amnesia and ego replication. If I do it twice, I think I’ll get depressed and kill myself.

Parsihig had been lying down for dozens of minutes, but suddenly got up and recoiled in disgust at my crying and laughing. I felt his gaze and quickly turned my head. Right… I did this to get rid of those guys and extract information.

Recalling my purpose, I became frighteningly calm.

He was flustered by my sudden change and tilted his head.

“What… what exactly are you? Multiple personalities? Is that it?”

It might be worse than that. Even now, two different minds are colliding and screaming. I smiled silently in self-deprecation. Parsihig retreated, taking steps back from my murderous smile. Even in the midst of all this, he didn’t forget to take care of Artania-nim, who was writhing like a worm.

I spoke to the two who were stuck together like glue.

“I’m going to ask you a few questions, and you better answer them well.”

“And then you’ll kill us?”

“I’ll see after you answer.”

Breaking their horns is a certainty.

But I didn’t bother to remind them of that fact.

“Honestly, I don’t care about you guys. I have no reason to gain honor by subjugating Demons or anything.”

“Then why…?”

“Shut up. I’m not finished.”

Parsihig closed his mouth and became a clam.

“You guys went too far. At least, you should have acted out of my sight.”

“…….”

“Snow falling in the middle of summer… suddenly kidnapping me when things were going well… Ah. You’re good with a sword. I liked that.”

Cold sweat. Parsihig unconsciously trembled at the sight of the eyes aiming for prey. The moment I sensed that small tremor, I changed my attitude. The playful tone, as if complaining, disappeared, and a pressure surpassing that of a dragon overwhelmed my entire body. The Demon man’s complexion turned pale. This should be enough to control the atmosphere.

“Why doesn’t the Holy Empire subjugate you?”

The question I had was extremely simple.

I couldn’t help but wonder after meeting Demons one after another.

It doesn’t make sense to leave them alone when they’re acting so openly.

“…That’s all?”

“Yeah. That’s all.”

I nodded nonchalantly. Parsihig sighed softly and said.

“Do you know about Demon subjugation?”

“No.”

I answered immediately. In context, it seemed like he was asking about history. I only know the characteristics of Demons, not the detailed circumstances. Parsihig licked his dry lips and said.

“When Demon subjugation begins, all Demons go on alert. Since they can only survive by killing each other, they know that they will be targeted someday.”

“…….”

“No matter how rampant individualism is among Demons, they are not stupid enough not to join forces when their lives are at stake. Alliances are mainly formed around Demons who know how to use their heads.”

“For example?”

“Legion Commander Barpheugos. Do you know him?”

“…No.”

“His alias is War.”

“Wait a minute.”

Right. It would be normal not to touch him carelessly if war is involved.

But… there’s one thing that’s been bothering me the whole time I’ve been listening.

He’s talking as if it’s wrong to touch Demons, and it’s really pissing me off. Are you telling me to just stand by and take it because I’m afraid of war? Even though the Demons were the ones who drew their swords first, not humanity? I frowned and said.

“Does that make sense? If you’re afraid of subjugation and war, you should know when to stop.”

“…….”

Parsihig, who interrupted my rebuttal with a breath, paused for a beat and opened his mouth.

“Truly… truly a human thought.”

“What?”

“Why should we understand the circumstances of humans? Have you ever seen a monster hesitate when killing a human?”

He didn’t even know that his life was in my hands, and he said with a sneer.

“Shall I tell you an interesting fact? The Holy Empire does not kill Demons. They only seal them. This only applies to Demons who are strong enough to have aliases, but anyway.”

“For Demons who live forever, sealing is just a long sleep… it can’t be anything but a terrible joke. They cause so many casualties and barely manage to subdue them, but they’re afraid of the aftermath, so they just end up sealing them? That’s humans. A pig-like race that is content with momentary peace.”

I don’t know what’s so funny, but he twists his mouth and gets excited.

“Only you humans are afraid of war. And when did I ever say that Demons are afraid of war? That’s a funny thing to say. Rather, they’ll welcome it with open arms. That’s why it’s evil and demonic. The instinct of evil engraved in the soul cannot be erased. Did you say you broke the horn of the White Calamity Gaolise? Ha. That’s absurd. If that fact spreads, all Demons will target you.”

“…Heh.”

I chuckled at the ridiculous warning. The chuckle gradually grew into a burst of laughter, and soon the laughter became so loud that it shook the ruins. I calmed my bursting stomach for a moment and stared straight into Parsihig’s eyes, which did not change their fierce gaze.

“Heh, heh… I see. That’s what you mean.”

“Are you afraid of the fate that awaits you?”

“Well…. I’m scared because I don’t know what my fate will be….”

With a bright smile like the sun, which I had never worn since falling into this world.

“Fuck off.”

“…….What did you say?”

“I’m not the Holy Empire.”

Unlike those guys.

I can handle it.