The Most Inferior

Ross, whose hand was held, quietly looked down at their hand. After a long silence, Ross spoke with a voice that sounded like something was caught in his throat.

“…Who else would it be? It’s Ross.”

Ellie didn’t miss the slight hesitation in his voice.

“But you’re not the Ross I knew.”

Ross smiled. A smile that let the bitterness that had lingered in his heart for so long flow out like a fragrance.

“…That’s right, you were always quick on the uptake.”

Saying that, Ross moved his held hand and slid his fingers between Ellie’s. Ellie belatedly tried to pull her hand away, but Ross was faster. Unable to pull her hand out because they were tightly intertwined, Ellie bit her lip and quietly stared at Ross.

Receiving that gaze, Ross spoke in a calm and serene voice, as if muttering to himself.

“You’re right. I’m not the Ross you know. But…”

Giving strength to their intertwined hands, Ross spoke in a low and unfamiliar voice.

“Ellie, I am your only salvation.”

At those words, Ellie felt her heart beat wildly. Ellie’s mind cleared up from her heart’s reckless reaction, and she glared at Ross’s blue eyes, speaking in a wary voice.

“…What does that mean? Salvation?”

Ross’s gaze turned to the table that was hiding Ellie’s body. Ellie tried to hide her uneasy expression as she realized what that gaze was saying, but Ross already knew that Ellie’s shoulders had shrunk.

“I’m the only one who can save you now.”

Ellie quietly fell silent at the fact that the other person knew her condition.

“Let’s be together… Losing you once is enough. I don’t want to experience it twice.”

Ross smiled happily as he felt the strength in Ellie’s clasped hand slowly fading, but he soon erased the expression from his face at the sight of Ellie’s sad eyes looking at him.

“I wanted to hear those words from the Ross I know…”

Ellie saw the strength in Ross’s jaw. Although strength wasn’t put into their clasped hands, he showed an inferiority-tinged reaction to that answer. With that, Ellie could be sure. Who the Ross in front of her was now.

“…Not the leader of the Chaos Church.”

Ross wordlessly looked at Ellie with empty eyes. Slowly pulling out their intertwined hands, Ross stretched his lips into a long line and suddenly made a greedy expression, looking straight into Ellie’s eyes.

“Still, you’re so goddamn lovely.”

“Sorry, but I’m not the Ellie that you’re so goddamn in love with.”

Ross shut his mouth at Ellie’s words. Watching Ross, who was lost in thought for a moment, Ellie observed his face, trying to find the differences from the Ross she knew. The exterior was completely the same. Even more so than twins. If he had even imitated Ross’s actions of pushing her away, Ellie would have been completely fooled by the leader.

Ross, who had been quietly looking at Ellie’s obsidian-like eyes, sighed.

“I just want to help you. Not as the leader of the Chaos Church, but with the heart of Ross who loves you.”

Ellie hesitated for a moment at Ross’s desperate eyes, as if wanting her to know his true feelings, and then spoke.

“…But you’re planning to destroy my world.”

Ross suddenly burst into laughter at Ellie’s rebuttal. Ellie instinctively frowned, feeling goosebumps as Ross looked at her as if she was cute.

“Why are you laughing?”

At Ellie’s question, Ross drooped his shoulders as if he was feeling wronged.

“Was that all you were worried about? Don’t worry. You just have to live in the perfect world that I’ll create again. It’ll be so perfect that this fake paradise won’t even compare.”

“…The fact that you’re recreating it means that you’re going to destroy the world that exists now, after all.”

Ross scratched his eyebrows as if it was nothing at Ellie’s sharp remark.

“It’s a fake world anyway. A strange world that doesn’t even know who the creator is and just rolls along on its own. I’ve destroyed this kind of fake world countless times.”

Leaning his upper body forward and supporting himself with one arm, Ross smiled brightly at Ellie.

“The only thing in this trash world that has value to me is you. You can’t even imagine how much joy it brings me to even be talking to you like this right now.”

Ellie, realizing that Ross was being emotional towards her, did what she was best at after a very long time. Shaking Ross’s heart intensely. That was a natural talent and aptitude for every Ellie in every world.

“The fact that you feel value in me means that you’re just a character who couldn’t escape the setting, after all.”

At that provocative remark, Ross’s head tilted about halfway to the side. Ross, who was glaring at Ellie as if he was going to kill her in that state, soon raised his hand and stroked his neck.

“Ellie, I’m warning you, don’t talk to me like that. A character to the creator… What kind of contradictory statement is that.”

Rather, Ellie became even more fired up at the ferocious eyes that looked like they were going to twist her neck off right away. Slowly leaning her upper body and bringing her face close as if their lips were going to overlap, Ellie quietly whispered as she exhaled hot breaths.

“…You’re worse than Roel oppa, and worse than the Ross I know.”

At that moment, Ellie, who was briefly captivated by the enormous power of chaos visible in Ross’s eyes, gasped for breath as if she was exhausted. She felt a tingling sensation on her skin from the tremendous pressure, and a burning pain inside her eyes, but Ellie endured it all and looked at Ross.

Ross, who had been silently keeping the silence with an expressionless face, slightly raised the corners of his lips.

“Cute, Ellie. Very cute. The more you’re like this, the more I want to possess you. Because I want to correct that nasty way of thinking with my own hands.”

Ellie scoffed at those words.

“Yeah, I’ll just get more disgusted with you. I’ll remember you as an ugly and inferior Ross and then forget about you.”

“…I wanted to film a sentimental melodrama, but it seems like it doesn’t suit you and me after all. It suits us to hurt each other and not understand each other.”

Ross tapped the table with his fingers as if he was disappointed and pulled his body back. But Ellie didn’t miss the opportunity to confront the leader and brought up a question that would shake his emotions.

“I guess the Ellie you knew didn’t love you either.”

However, Ross no longer acted emotionally. He simply watched Ellie do as she pleased with a calm attitude, smiling as if he was enjoying it.

“If I become the only Ross, your rebellious attitude will soon change too. Because there’s no one who knows as well as I do how essential the existence of Ross is to the person named Ellie.”

Ross pushed the chair back and stood up, looking down at Ellie.

“Then I’ll be waiting for you on the 5th floor, where everything will come to an end.”

Ellie quietly watched Ross’s back as he left the library.

***

After the guinea pig left, I stayed in the cafe for a while and then went home. When I opened the door and went inside, Luna, who had quietly come down the stairs, approached me with a lovely smile and a shush-ing sound.

“He just fell asleep. He must have had fun playing with Daddy for the first time in a while. Have fun playing with him tomorrow too.”

At the sight of Luna naturally hugging my waist as she said that, I leaned my body against her without saying a word. Luna, who had been quietly hugging me, spoke quietly.

“Ross, you have something you want to say, don’t you?”

“…How did you know?”

“Because you pay more attention to the person you love.”

Slowly taking my body away, I met Luna’s gaze. At the sight of Luna smiling softly as if anything was okay, my mouth moved on its own.

“…Was it painful?”

I asked Luna the question I had been ignoring and pushing away.

“….”

“Did you resent me a lot?”

“No, Ross. I don’t remember anything about what happened back then.”

The answer that I had desperately hoped and wanted flowed out of Luna’s mouth. I laughed and cried at that base relief. Is this my paradise? A world full of lies, where I just want to cover it up, hope you don’t know anything, and just be happy…

“…You died because of me.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“I should have protected you, but I couldn’t.”

“…It’s okay. We’re together like this now.”

I pushed away Luna, who was anxious and looked like she was about to burst into tears at any moment, as she tried to hug me. The sensation of my fingertips rejecting Luna, and Luna’s expression that looked like she was about to collapse, felt like they were scraping at my heart.

“You shouldn’t… have me in your happiness.”

“What does that mean…?”

“This is my paradise… So it won’t be your paradise.”

Luna hugged me tightly from behind as I turned around and tried to leave the house.

“Ross, please… stay with us. This is your happiness. If you go to the 5th floor… you’ll lose all of this. Rosi and Roy, and me…”

I slowly stroked Luna’s hand that was wrapped around my waist and said.

“My paradise… I can lose it as much as I need to for you.”

Luna, realizing the meaning of those words, didn’t hold me back anymore.