The Most Comfortable Place (1)

Two days had passed since I had unwittingly left Ethan’s sexual desires unattended for half a year and ended up accepting them in a slightly different way than I had imagined (though it was half-forced). Currently, Ethan and I were staying not at the academy but at the Blackwood Mansion.

Since my treatment was nearing its end and the student council duties were also wrapping up, there was no longer any reason to stay at the academy. Moreover, lingering too long risked other students from the Theology Department discovering that I was the Saintess, so we hurriedly returned to the territory.

Incidentally, because I stayed at the academy for a few more days after the evaluation match, our return to the Blackwood Mansion coincided with Harold’s schedule. As a result, our journey back was similar to the last one-riding in a four-person carriage with Harold.

…The bonus was Harold’s endless storytelling during the ride. Who knew a middle-aged man nearing fifty had so much to say?

After enduring nearly twelve hours of nonstop chatter from the Sword Master speaker, we finally arrived at the mansion yesterday, exhausted and sleep-deprived from the journey.

This morning, I woke up with a lingering sense of fatigue, tidied my bed, and got up.

“Ah, ughhh…”

Even though I had woken up in a familiar bed after so long, my body felt as heavy as if it had been pressed down by a pair of scissors. My muscles were still stiff, aching all over.

It wasn’t because of the change in sleeping arrangements. Until now, I had slept well regardless of where I was-whether at the Blackwood Mansion, the academy dormitory, or even the academy church’s infirmary.

If I had to pinpoint the cause, the primary culprit was that damn Machart bastard, followed by the fact that there was no one sleeping beside me.

Since the day I was threatened by Machart, I had occasionally had nightmares of being attacked in the middle of the night. But whenever that happened, Ethan’s warmth beside me helped me fall back asleep. Now that we had returned to the Blackwood Mansion, we were using separate rooms, so I couldn’t rely on him anymore.

During my stay at the academy church’s infirmary, Agnes was always by my side, which at least gave me some peace of mind. But now, after returning to sleeping alone, I couldn’t relax, and last night I barely slept at all.

“Haaah, ugh…”

“Lilith, are you okay?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You’ve looked exhausted all day. You were like that this morning too, and you still do now.”

“I agree with Isabelle, Lady Lilith. Did you not sleep well because of the change in sleeping arrangements?”

Isabelle and Katarina asked me this during lunch, so I had no choice but to wave off their concerns and assure them it wasn’t the case.

“No, Senior Katarina. I’ve been moving back and forth between the academy and the mansion, so my sleeping arrangements have changed often enough. I just had a bad dream last night, probably because I was a bit tired.”

“Can you still work like this? Should I ask Young Master Ethan for permission to let you rest for an hour or two? I’ll take care of his needs in the meantime.”

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine, Isabelle.”

It was ridiculous for a personal maid to take a nap while her master was awake and well. Especially in broad daylight like this.

After finishing the meal, I left behind the brief chatter with my colleagues-allowed only during this time-and returned to my duties as Ethan’s personal maid.

“The position of Young Master Ethan’s personal maid is mine.”

My condition wouldn’t collapse just because I hadn’t slept well.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t slept at all-I just kept waking up repeatedly. I could handle this much.

…That’s what I thought at the time.

⁎ ⁎ ⁎

And then, two days later.

After three days of waking up in tension due to recurring nightmares, my mind was utterly exhausted, to the point where even breathing felt like a chore.

“……”

“Uh, Lilith…?”

“…Lady Lilith?”

“……”

“Y-you should really take a break…”

“Young Master would understand given your current condition, Lady Lilith…”

Isabelle and Katarina seemed to be saying something from either side, but honestly, just keeping my eyes open required all my concentration.

‘I’m dying…’

After three days, I finally understood why sleep deprivation was considered torture. No wonder the CIA used it for interrogations.

If someone offered to let me sleep peacefully in exchange for confessing the secrets of my past life, I honestly wouldn’t be able to refuse. No, I wasn’t even sure if I had enough mental clarity left to comprehend such a demand.

Last night, and the night before, I had tossed and turned in bed, trying to fall asleep. But every time I drifted into a deep slumber, I was dragged back awake by nightmares. After three days of this, my nerves were reaching their limit.

‘That damn Machart bastard keeps showing up in my dreams and causing trouble… If I don’t deal with him soon…’

At this rate, my brain would short-circuit long before I could deal with Machart. The Machart subjugation plan I had spent over a month preparing was on the verge of collapsing.

But the operation was still three days away. If I spent the next three days in this state, I wouldn’t be able to subjugate Machart-instead, I’d probably end up being the one getting wrecked by him.

‘I absolutely cannot let that happen.’

Being captured by that bastard Machart and turned into a flesh doll was far more terrifying than either being trained by Ethan or being dragged around the world for years as the Hero’s collateral.

If I had to choose between the three, staying with Ethan was still the better option. After all, the current Ethan was nothing like the trashy “Hyeondan” from the original story. Even if I were to be trained, it would still be better than becoming Machart’s flesh doll or being forced to travel the world without pay…

‘Wait, what am I even thinking?’

My exhausted mind kept circling back to one-dimensional thoughts. In the first place, I had already made sure such futures would never come to pass.

I had stuffed myself with garlic in the Blackwood Mansion’s kitchen precisely to prevent such a thing from happening-why was I even considering compromise now?

They say that when a person enters the realm of the subconscious, their survival instincts naturally seek out the path with the highest chance of survival. Maybe that’s why Ethan popped into my head.

…But what does Ethan have to do with my survival instincts anyway…?

-Clatter.

“……Ah.”

As I was bringing a spoonful of soup to my mouth, my grip weakened from exhaustion, and the spoon slipped just before reaching my lips, tumbling downward.

The metal spoon bounced once against my chest, splattering its contents, before clattering loudly to the floor.

My senses were so dulled that I barely felt the impact or the heat. The only thought in my head was that I had dropped the spoon and needed to pick it up.

“…Ah?! …Young Mast…!”

“…Lilith! First, let’s…”

The voices around me grew increasingly distant, making it hard to tell who was speaking. It could’ve been Isabelle, Katarina, or just some random maid.

Driven by instinct to pick up the fallen spoon, I leaned forward in my chair, but the weight of my upper body caused me to sway unsteadily.

-Thud!

‘Ah.’

…If I hit the floor like this, it’s going to hurt.

Honestly, I didn’t care about the pain-I just wanted to get some proper sleep. If I passed out from the fall, at least I wouldn’t be forced awake for a few hours.

But contrary to my hopes, instead of the hard floor, I felt someone’s arms catch me. The warm embrace seemed to pull me into the depths of sleep.

⁎ ⁎ ⁎

Complete darkness. A pitch-black void stretching in all directions-front, back, left, right, up, and down.

The moment I realized the fatigue weighing on my body had vanished, I found myself in an unfamiliar space.

‘…No, it’s not unfamiliar.’

While awake, exhaustion made it hard to string thoughts together, but here in this “dream,” my mind was at least somewhat clearer.

Of course, since I was still trapped in the “dream,” my thoughts were limited, and I couldn’t hold more than one idea at a time.

Realizing that this was a place I had visited many times before-and that this was a dream-my mind naturally anticipated what would happen next.

-Tap. Tap.

“……”

The sound of footsteps approaching from within the darkness, accompanied by a faint glow.

It was the same horrid sound I had heard countless times over the past few nights in my dreams.

“Awake now? How does it feel to be left alone in the dark, huh?”

‘Damn it.’

A slimy voice that made me feel like something was crawling up from below wormed its way into my ears. Of course, since this was a dream, there was nothing to vomit up.

From the darkness emerged the face of the bastard, glowing faintly as if he were the protagonist of this nightmare.

“Long time no see, foul-mouthed girl.”

“……”

This was the nth time-too many to count-that I had encountered the damn Machart in my dreams.