Sleep

,Why would you make people misunderstand you like that~?

I glared at Estelle, who was mocking me with a voice devoid of guilt after giving me a bump on the head, and took down the ice pack I had placed on my head. Thanks to her, the alcohol was wearing off.

,Anyway, are you satisfied now? I’m a bit tired from participating in the triathlon.

When I indirectly told her to fuck off, Estelle just shrugged her shoulders with a ,So what?? expression. Should I really curse her out?

,Well, let’s say the rest is your plan. Then what about Roel?

I, who had been grumbling, asked with a dumbfounded face at Estelle’s question.

,Why Roel?

At my question, Estelle looked at me with a pathetic expression, then sighed and said,

,Pfft… Well, you were too busy running away from the angry crowd, so you wouldn’t know what happened after that, would you?

Estelle paused for a moment before adding,

,It was revealed that Roel is the youngest Transcender. It’s causing a huge uproar. Did you intend that too?

,…That’s not true, but.

I had no intention of revealing that Roel was a Transcender. My initial plan was for Transcendence Academy to be eliminated and for other academies to jointly win. But perhaps because of the bond we formed while training together, I didn’t want my actions to harm the innocent seniors. So, I spontaneously came up with the idea of four academies jointly winning and made such an unreasonable request to Roel.

,Still, Roel acted well. He pretended to be neck and neck in the second match. But now that he’s revealed to be a Transcender in today’s match, I thought he’d be in a lot of trouble.

I hadn’t thought that far. Foolishly, I often ignored the things Roel would experience, thinking he was overpowered. This was why I needed a strategist. I sighed and ran a hand over my face.

,So, what happened?

I was sorry, but I could only hope that Roel had handled it well. Estelle explained with a yawn, as if it were nothing.

,He said in an interview that he had a great epiphany in the second match and entered the realm of a Transcender? Thanks to that, he praised the other academies for helping him become a Transcender, so the atmosphere at the stadium was great. And you, the scapegoat villain, weren’t there.

I let out a small sigh. Something feels strange. A strong sense of unease washes over me.

,Why the lie….

Whether she heard my muttering or not, Estelle replied curtly.

,Well, it’s because my little brother made a difficult request.

No, that’s not it. The original Roel doesn’t hide the fact that he has become a Transcender. He doesn’t do things like hiding his skills and playing with others.

,Roel… wouldn’t do anything hypocritical.

Tok-

Estelle’s flick landed on my forehead.

,Tsk, you idiot. Even if it wasn’t sincere, no one would have felt Roel was being hypocritical.

When I looked at her with a blank stare, not understanding her words, Estelle said as if it were obvious,

,If someone who is loved and recognized by everyone gives all the credit to everyone else and acknowledges others… even if all those actions are lies to hide an ugly truth, we call that ‘humility’.

My heart, which I had forgotten, throbs and makes its presence known. It feels like my alcohol-addled brain is slowly regaining its function.

,A humble youngest Transcender. Now Roel will be the most famous person on the continent. To the point where there won’t be anyone who doesn’t know his handsome face.

Maybe, just maybe. Roel didn’t intend this from the beginning. Even if I hadn’t asked, he wouldn’t have revealed that he was a Transcender himself. This isn’t a thought I came up with to cover up my irresponsible actions that put Roel in a difficult position.

The reason he acted like he was barely winning from the second labyrinth was to reveal that he was a Transcender in the final match and clearly make his name known to everyone on the continent…? Goosebumps rise on my skin. There was no other way to explain Roel’s actions.

The triathlon was the perfect stage for the hero Roel to appear. As a competition organized by the Imperial Family, it was broadcast all over the continent. Perhaps it was Bella’s meticulous plan.

But there are still unanswered questions. No matter how good Bella’s plan is, Roel doesn’t cross the line he has set for himself. For Roel to pretend to be humble in order to make his name known is… very unsettling. One voice kept ringing in my head as I dredged up my memories.

,Ross, anything half-assed is worse than not doing it at all.

Was that really advice for me? Or perhaps it was something he had resolved for himself. If so, what had Roel resolved? I felt a throbbing headache, perhaps due to the alcohol. Maybe it’s just my delusion, trying to avoid admitting my mistakes. As I reflexively frowned at the complicated thoughts in my head, Estelle sneered,

,What’s with the serious face? Are you feeling inferior to your brother again?

I gave a bitter smile.

,…It’s not that.

,Well, if you don’t want to admit it, I can’t help it.

With those words, Estelle stared at me intently. When I met her gaze as if asking what she was looking at, Estelle gave a bitter smile.

,Still, I think your method was wrong. Was it really necessary to play the villain? Think about the curses and insults that were hurled at you after the competition. This could continue like a brand during your academy life. They’ll compare you to your brother and whisper about you being a moron and trash, right?

I felt a surge of annoyance at Estelle’s persistent questions. It was the best choice for me. There’s no point in arguing that something that has already happened was wrong; it can’t be undone.

,It’s only this much because Roel helped us win a joint victory. What if Transcendence had been eliminated? Me playing the villain, which doesn’t even suit me… it was a choice for everyone.

The seniors were swept up in my plan and couldn’t even compete properly. If I had any conscience, I couldn’t ask the seniors who were eliminated because of me to be cursed at together. So I acted. Because there’s nothing more newsworthy than the downfall of an arrogant and conceited person.

As planned, all the blame came back to me. But Estelle persistently questions my mistakes. I cut off the vicious cycle of the triathlon and removed the seeds of a noble rebellion that would happen in the future. And yet, am I wrong?

I swallowed my rising emotions. My lips felt numb for some reason.

,If you just want to curse at me-

,Really, was it a choice for everyone?

Estelle interrupted me and asked calmly, her purple eyes shining. I was momentarily speechless at her question. I let out a hollow laugh at the obvious question.

,Do you think I’m a masochist who likes being cursed at? Of course, it was a choice for everyone. No matter how much you argue, it was the best for me.

My clenched fist, which I had unknowingly grabbed, ached. After a moment of silence, Estelle stopped tapping her foot and asked in a low voice,

,Does the choice for everyone… include you?

I gaped like a goldfish. At the simple question, I couldn’t answer, as if the air in my lungs had disappeared. Like Estelle said, I had a desire for everyone to be happy, but I never included myself anywhere.

Can I be included in the prerequisite of happiness? If the eastern border collapses, most of the people on the continent will die at the hands of demons. Luna’s family, of course, and only a small number of students from the academy will survive. It was all caused by a single line of tragedy that I wrote without thinking, for the sake of how the protagonist Roel would achieve victory in a desperate situation.

There was no way I could shamelessly include myself in the happiness for everyone, after creating such a tragic future.

I opened my mouth with difficulty. My parched voice flowed out, but it gradually lost its strength and disappeared.

,I, I….

,You just chose to be hurt. You say it’s a choice for everyone, but your actions, which didn’t consider yourself, are just an ugly self-consolation to resolve your inferiority complex towards your brother. This, more than humility for everyone… is hypocrisy.

I wanted to deny it. I wanted to shout that I no longer felt inferior to Roel. But I couldn’t hide the inferiority complex that always existed at the very bottom of my emotions.

,Didn’t you think about the harm that would come to your girlfriend, Luna? The members related to you will also be cursed at together. And you’re the top of the Combat Department. How much will the other departments curse the Combat Department because of this? They’ll laugh at you for not even being able to use an artifact as the top of the Combat Department, right? Is this really the best choice for everyone?

I couldn’t answer Estelle’s words. It was a desperate plan. I hadn’t thought about what would happen after that. No, I was intoxicated with the idea of sacrificing myself for someone else and didn’t think.

I was just complacent, thinking that my choice wasn’t wrong. I was just masturbating, thinking that I knew the truth that you guys didn’t know, that it was a noble sacrifice for you who cursed me.

,This isn’t a choice for everyone. It’s just a childish play to prove that you shed blood for others.

Estelle slowly stood up from her seat. She took a step towards me and reached out to gently stroke my hair. I felt like the pain I felt all over my body was disappearing a little at her touch. The alcohol is rising. In my hazy mind, I closed my eyes without realizing it at the murmuring that came in a low voice.

,You’re still an immature child. So, if it’s hard, cry, and if it hurts, shout loudly. Then someone who will be on your side will definitely appear. I’m here as a joint destiny, and you have your girlfriend and friends. There’s no need to try to take responsibility alone or carry everything alone. No one will hold you responsible for something that might happen in the future that no one will approach.

I can hear Estelle’s breathing in my ear. It’s a voice like a small murmur. In my fading consciousness, I listened to the disappearing voice.

,It won’t be easy in the future, but… you’ll definitely be able to make a better choice than you are now. A very good way that includes your own happiness.

Can I really do that?

Whether I said that thought out loud or not, Estelle replied in a soft voice,

,It was the wrong method, but you still tried. You can change the wrong method. Don’t worry about tomorrow and get a good night’s sleep today, you idiot.

I didn’t even remember if I answered Estelle’s words.