SIYUN – In her brain。

For a while, my art teacher taught me roughly how to draw.

Time passes, the day before the summer vacation ceremony.

I took one canvas out of my dad’s car.

“Have a good time at school~”

“Yeah, see you later.”

“Kiss me.”

“What can I say? It’s dirty.”

I was sticking out my lips and then seeing my dad with a shocked expression on his face, I lightly closed the car door and headed inside the school.

I whined and headed to the art room, holding a canvas the size of my body.

After arriving at the art room, I set up the canvas in front of the art room, which was not yet open.

When I turn around, I see a teacher.

“Ah… hello.”

“okay…”

“This is a gift, you don’t have to return it.”

“…..”

“Then take care~”

I headed towards class, leaving only the picture behind.

Go Min-soo was staring intently at the wrapping paper that had ‘183’ written on it surrounding the canvas that Si-yoon had brought.

I wanted to check… but I couldn’t, so while I was in a state of confusion, class started and I put the picture in the storage room.

Although I was going through the class, the canvas in my head kept coming back to me.

“…ha.”

“Teacher, what’s going on?!”

“Huh? No~ It’s like this here…”

Go Min-soo finished class and took out the canvas from the storage room.

“…Whew…..”

I carefully opened the packaging, but I couldn’t bring myself to open it.

However, he checked the picture on the canvas, repeating what his wife had said, ‘Si-yoon is just a jewel.’

“…..”

The painting there was Siyun’s self-portrait.

Korea National University of Arts, a laboratory of a university that has been ranked first in art for 15 years in Korea.

Painter Ahn Jun-tae.

Juntae Ahn turned on his cell phone in his lab.

And I was looking through the drawings drawn by a little lady with overwhelming talent named Si-yoon.

“As expected… it’s amazing…”

And when he found his favorite student, Ko Min-soo, entering his lab, he happily welcomed him.

“Oh! What’s going on?”

Although Go Min-soo was happy to see him, Ahn Jun-tae’s eyes first turned to the canvas held in Go Min-soo’s arms as if it were precious, without realizing it.

Ahn Jun-tae’s pupils dilated when he saw ‘183’ written there.

Because ‘137’ was the last one known to the public.

Juntae Ahn fixed his eyes on the canvas and quickly approached Ko Minsu.

“…Can you see it?”

“Can we… talk for a moment?”

Professor Ahn quickly removed the pictures on the desk and made Go Min-su sit down.

And I wanted to talk, but I couldn’t help but keep my eyes drawn to the canvas with ‘183’ written on it.

“So what’s going on?”

“Si-yoon… it’s a work of art. And… no, it would be quicker to just look at it.”

Go Min-soo carefully unwrapped the canvas.

Ahn Jun-tae, who looked at the canvas with expectant eyes, became speechless when he saw the painting.

“…..”

In the ‘SIYUN – In her brain’ series, there has never been a self-portrait drawn by Siyun until now.

Also, ‘183’ did not include Si-yoon’s unique brush usage method that made the viewer feel comfortable.

The amount of paint was bolder than usual, creating the illusion of a three-dimensional appearance.

Si-yoon looks like he is thinking about something.

Jun-tae Ahn realized that Si-yoon was drawing a picture of himself.

Si-yoon in the picture was not smiling, but the more I looked at it due to the surrounding background, the more I felt like she was smiling.

A thick layer of paint that gives the feeling of hiding one’s expression,

Past the delicately expressed lines of the face, as if a great deal of time had been invested,

As two eyes full of life came into view, I realized that they were giving the viewer the illusion that they were smiling.

but…

The background started to stand out more and more.

To make it seem like you are not interested in your own face, which is the subject of ‘Self-Portrait’.

Siyoon’s self-portrait seemed to tell us what he was currently thinking.

It’s as if painting is really just a hobby for me, regardless of subject matter…

Looking at ‘183’, they once again remembered the meaning of ‘SIYUN- In her brain’.

“Huh…”

“When I saw this painting, it seemed like it was telling me to let myself go so that I could do what I wanted to do. It seemed to tell me not to have any expectations.”

“I guess you wanted to convey it through pictures…”

“yes…”

“…I think I put too much pressure on the kid as an adult…”

“I think so.”

Professor Ahn Jun-tae recalled the Swiss master Parzier, who purchased ‘SIYUN – In her brain 137.’ for $1 million.

In an interview, Pargier was said to be an arrogant, arrogant, and obnoxious kid.

Professor Ahn Jun-tae talked with Go Min-su and decided to send this ‘183’ to Pargier.

Summer vacation came, and after endless persuasion from my dad, I was finally able to try other games.

-“No, what the fuck!!! What are you doing? Go to Area B!!! If you can’t get it right, at least keep it in check!!!”

“Stop swearing, I’m really going after you.”

-“Wow… 0 kills, 10 deaths, I’m going crazy… No, honestly, this isn’t right! Why can’t I do this!”

“I won’t fucking do it.”

-“Honestly, 0 kills and 10 deaths, do you admit that you’re not a human?”

“Hey, come to the Hannam Bridge between your house and my house.”

-“Damn it, it’s less than 1/10th of the way to my house. How can it be halfway?”

박지훈 이 개새끼는 방학 때 내 얼굴을 안 본다고 선을 크게 넘고 있었다.

I said, trying to control the anger that had already built up to the top of my head.

“Anyway, I won’t.”

-“Ah, why again… you said you’d practice if you couldn’t do it.”

“…..”

-“Why is that so? Does Siyoon really feel his limits?”

I thought I would break the computer if I listened any longer, so I turned off the computer without saying a word.

As I come out and sit on the sofa, my dad notices.

“Siyoon… why are you in a bad mood?”

“no.”

“Isn’t the game fun?”

“Ha… I want to play another game.”

Dad wanted to say no, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it after seeing my expression.

“Like what?”

“I want to find something I’m good at…”

I started playing various games on my phone next to my dad.

I admit it.

I was so fucking bad at the game.

Above all, as I watched Park Ji-hoon get excited every time I did it, something inside me made me cry and I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore.

In addition, that kid’s control was unusual, as if he had devoted all his physical abilities to the game.

And losing the whole game to that bastard… my pride wouldn’t allow it.

After playing various games, I finally sat down in front of the computer again and turned on the Maple Leaf game.

The people who greeted me as soon as I entered made me feel at home at Maple Leaf.

-“No, it’s not a child. What is this? I just came looking for something fun.”

“Shut up.”

-“Are you upset? You’re such a bitch.”

I felt something in my head snapping and breaking.

Kwaang!!!

My dad came running to me in surprise when I held the keyboard and hit it with a shotgun on the desk.

After seeing my broken keyboard and desk and getting a dusty beating from my dad for the first time in a while, I had to kneel down, raise my arms up in the sky, and look at the wall.

And, he was punished by being banned from playing games for a week.

‘I will kill… I will kill… I will kill… I will kill… I will kill… I will kill you for sure…’

Because it was vacation time and I couldn’t meet Park Ji-hoon, I was just staring at the wall and getting angry.

In a house with an old-fashioned atmosphere, an old man was looking at a painting.

“Fargie… why are you doing this?”

“no…”

Pargier looked gaunt than usual.

“Why don’t you at least eat…”

“it’s okay.”

Pargier was looking at a painting with ‘183’ written on it sent by Ahn Jun-tae, a world-renowned master.

A few weeks ago, I was reminded of a kid I met while stopping by a small country called Korea.

A kid who had the appearance of wanting to see the end of beauty.

A cocky kid who acted like he didn’t need anything, even though he had that kind of looks and overwhelming talent that everyone wanted to have.

But is that kid trying to persuade him?

This picture sent through Ahn Jun-tae… left me speechless.

A picture filled with so many emotions that even experts cannot even see it properly.

A self-portrait that complicates the viewer, as if trying to express one’s own complicated feelings.

No matter how much I looked at the expression of the little boy drawing in the self-portrait, I couldn’t tell what kind of expression he wanted to make.

If you watch it while drinking coffee, it looks like you are smiling and drawing pictures peacefully.

If you look at it in a hungry state, it looks like you were drawing in a hurry while worrying.

If you look at it in a tired state, it gives the illusion that it is being painted with a depressed expression.

In order to understand this painting more deeply, Pargier invested time into appreciating ‘183’, excluding all physiological phenomena.

The two eyes in the portrait seem to be looking at one’s own eyes, full of life.

It’s amazing…

“Ha… With such talent…”

Pargier, who was looking at the picture with his chin in his hands, remembered what the little boy had said.

“It’s just a hobby for me. No more, no less, just that. Pargier, look around. Where is that comforting touch you spoke of?

“Do you see that kind of earnestness?”

An obnoxious little boy whose personality was already complete enough that you wouldn’t even think it came out of the mouth of a child.

A kid who was born into a wealthy family and seems to have never felt like he was lacking.

“I’ll be honest. That passion is a burden to me.”

When I heard this, I wanted to tear the painting I bought in half and crush it.

But the moment I saw ‘137’… I couldn’t bear it.

Even though those words reminded me of the moments I had lived, I could never understand the little boy in my head.

But looking at the little girl’s portrait… I felt like I could understand the little girl’s feelings.

A drawing started by a little boy who grew up with nothing lacking, but who became famous for his amazing looks and received a lot of attention.

Pargier, who was imagining how much attention he would attract as his infinite talent blossomed, began to have a final delusion.

‘If this little boy was born into a poor family that couldn’t even afford a meal…’

Pargier got goosebumps as he briefly imagined the desperation and screams expressed by the little boy with such emotions and expressive power.

And he nodded slowly.

Aren’t you too burdened by so many eyes at the moment and can’t put your hand to the brush…

‘Yeah… it’s just a hobby.’

Time passed, and we had already reached the end of summer vacation.

If there is one thing that is different from before…

It was Pargier who sent his paintings to our house.

Dozens of paintings by Pargier, whose prices are so high that there is a saying, ‘His paintings start at at least $1 million,’ have arrived.

He said that it was in return for the ‘183’ he received, and that it was just a hobby for him.

“Dad, should I throw this away? There are too many?”

“…That’s not it…”

And then another package comes.

It was a painting by Professor Ko Min-soo and a painting by Professor Jun-tae Ahn.

They also say it’s just a hobby.

“No… I said it was burdensome, so what is this…”

Dad hung up the paintings one by one, but ended up hanging a few more at the JSM headquarters because there were too many.

“Should I really not draw…?”

“Hey, doing fun things is a hobby. Isn’t your dad also a hobby of making songs?”

“right?”

“huh.”

On the day of the school opening ceremony, as soon as Park Ji-hoon saw me, he greeted me warmly as it had been a while since we had seen each other again.

I spotted Park Ji-hoon greeting me warmly from afar.

Thanks to my overwhelming memory, I remember things as if they were yesterday,

To catch Park Ji-hoon off guard, he slowly approached him with a smile and punched him in the face.

Lately, he’s been dodging my fists and fighting back fiercely, making me wonder if I should start exercising, but I’m still not good enough to beat up that bastard.

Park Ji-hoon, who met me after a long time, wiped his nosebleed and said.

“Fuck! What are you doing as soon as I see you!!!”

“I’ve been waiting so long to see you, bastard. Let’s just search today.”

“Tongue…Brother?”

“You fucking bastard, I finally see you as my older brother, right? You’re behind.”

When I picked up a rock with a sharp edge that I saw nearby, Jihoon, who was scared, started running away without even looking back.

“Come on! Shibaal!!!”

“If that happens, I’ll really die, bro!!!”

A teacher from a private elementary school in Seoul, who was watching from afar, thought we were playing tag.

He was smiling proudly, as if realizing the start of school.

I was sitting proudly next to Park Ji-hoon, whose face was swollen, and was opening a book.

Park Ji-hoon looked at me with a chewed expression.

“…..”

“what.”

“no.”

Jihoon Park’s eyes changed sharply after undergoing double eyelid surgery, and I wondered if a person could change like that with just one eye.

To be honest, things are a thousand times better now than before.

Except my face was swollen because I got hit.

Meanwhile, Park Ji-hoon whispered softly as if he was talking to himself.

“Let’s see when I’m really… a little older… Don’t ever… become weaker than me.”

I closed the book and looked at Jihoon.

“What did you say?”

“no!”