Sidestory – 5

“Really? Show me next time then.”

“Yeah! And, Dad…”

“Appa!”

“Papa!”

Vivian watched as Kailo smiled surrounded by the children.

On one hand, it was such a beautiful moment.

On the other hand, Kailo had been neglecting her a little lately because he was so busy taking care of them.

He spent the whole day looking after the kids, and by the time he returned after work, he was so tired that he would fall asleep immediately.

-…Kailo. Kailo…

Even when she shook his arm playfully.

-…Sorry, Vivian, I’m really exhausted today…

-…It’s already been 10 days since we…

-…Just… just today…

-How can someone who’s been doing everything not feel this tired??

-I’m not lying, Vivian, I’m so tired…

Rolling his eyes, Kaio turned his back to her and tried to ignore it.

Then, soon after, he was fast asleep.

He didn’t even let her pamper him.

The kids, however, could get his attention for even the smallest things, but when it came to her, he had no energy left.

Vivian even tried taking care of the kids herself and worked hard to lessen Kailo’s burden for the day, but the result was always the same.

Kailo, now 30 years old, was getting older and more exhausted, so he would just sleep soundly.

It had probably been like this ever since they had the twins.

“You’re really good at acting like Dad, huh? Want to give it a try?”

“Sure, I’ll be the enemy knight! And you be the princess. The princess has been studying so hard and is exhausted when an enemy knight appears. So the knight tries to kidnap the princess, but the princess doesn’t want that…”

“…Your story setting is detailed.”

Even so, the kids still enjoyed playing like that.

“Oh my, our Mariel, do you want to sit on Dad’s lap? You’re crawling up again.”

“I…! Me…!!!”

“Papa, Mariel is also fussing.”

“I see. Then let’s sit together. If I don’t do the same for both, they start crying out of jealousy. Maybe this is Mom’s fault…”

…Couldn’t he save a little bit of that energy for her?

Why did he always make himself busy with things he didn’t have to do, and then say he was tired?

The desire to be pampered wasn’t only for the babies.

Why did he give everything to the kids and leave nothing for her?

…She felt a bit pitiful.

He said he loved her most, but…

She understood it to some extent, though.

Honestly, she knew exactly why Kailo was more focused on them.

She couldn’t help but complain about it.

“…Why is it…”

“…?”

Kailo, who had been taking care of the kids with his back turned to her, looked back when he heard Vivian’s voice.

“…Why are they all girls?”

Maybe it was because of recent complaints, but she couldn’t help but find it strange.

Kailo’s arms were full of flowers.

His eldest, Adelaide, now seven, and the twins, Mariel and Meryl, who were about 14 months old.

They all looked just like Vivian.

Vivian was sharing Kailo’s love with these little versions of herself.

But lately, it felt like she was being left out.

Vivian said it in a joking manner, but she was genuinely upset.

Why were they all girls?

And why were they all so attached to their dad?

She had heard that boys could just be left outside, and they’d tire themselves out and fall asleep on their own.

As long as they didn’t cause any trouble, they weren’t much of a hassle.

But girls were different.

They talked nonstop and stuck by Kailo’s side all day long.

She couldn’t understand how they always had so much to say.

And Kailo always accepted it so well.

Or maybe he didn’t just accept it; it seemed like he enjoyed it.

When she saw that big, goofy smile on his face, she wanted to punch him.

It was fine with Mariel and Meryl, but Adelaide was the same.

She was desperate to get her dad’s love all to herself.

Sometimes, it seemed like she would intentionally stick to Kailo just to tease Vivian.

Adelaide, being seven, already acted like this.

What would happen when Mariel and Meryl got older?

Right now, she was jokingly complaining, but the thought of the future made her head hurt in all seriousness.

She could easily imagine them clinging to Kailo, never letting go.

Kailo chuckled, looking at Vivian with amusement.

He then asked Adelaide.

“Well, is it Mom’s fault that there are so many daughters? Is it really my fault?”

“Mom, you should pray to the gods next time for a son!”

Vivian knew that Kailo wasn’t wrong.

The gender of the child was the mother’s responsibility.

But she couldn’t help but want to blame him a little.

“How come you’re so manly but couldn’t give me a son?”

Through this playful remark, she also wanted to grab his attention.

“…Well, no matter how much you blame me…”

Seeing Vivian’s frustration turning into something real, Kailo scratched his head, looking away, and began to take care of the kids again.

“Alright then…!”

He escaped.

“…Sigh.”

Was she the strange one for feeling this way?

Vivian suddenly wondered.

It had been 10 years since she married Kailo, but her feelings hadn’t changed at all.

Every time she looked at him, her heart still raced, and when she held his hand, her face flushed.

If his attention was ever stolen by someone else, her heart would feel a little tight.

They say that after a long marriage, love for your spouse fades, replaced by friendship…

Vivian couldn’t understand that.

She still felt the burning love for him deep in her heart.

If it weren’t for the kids, she would have begged him for love without hesitation.

…She had no regrets about having children, but she had come to realize that her past thoughts were somewhat correct.

Just as she had expected, she was slowly losing Kailo’s love to the kids.

There was nothing she could do about that.

Vivian rubbed her belly.

Her firm belly, still maintained to receive Kailo’s love.

Even though her belly had swollen when she carried the twins, she had worked hard to keep it as healthy as before.

They say a mother cannot regain her past beauty, but with a single-minded desire to receive Kailo’s love, she accomplished the impossible.

Even now, she still attracts the attention of men at the ball.

Women still praise her beauty.

There are even rumors that she didn’t give birth to the children herself, that she used someone else’s womb.

If Adelaide, Mariel, and Meryl hadn’t looked so much like her, these rumors might have gotten more serious.

But despite her efforts, Kailo only pays attention to the children.

She was dissatisfied.

It seemed like an unreasonable complaint in such a peaceful day, but it was still a complaint.

She couldn’t live without Kailo’s love.

Her food, shelter, and Kailo’s love were the essential elements for Vivian to live.

Vivian was having tea with Lady Linne.

“…Is there really no way, my teacher?”

Lady Linne’s face showed the passage of time.

Her wrinkles had deepened, and her expression had become more gentle.

Even her back, which seemed like it would never bend, was now slightly curved.

But her mind remained sharp, as it had been before.

She smiled like a noblewoman and said.

“Vivian, just give it a little more time. Kailo must be struggling too.”

“…I understand, but… wouldn’t it be okay to save some strength for me instead of giving it all to the children? Why does he need to focus all his energy on them? There’s no need for that, is there? The maids could take care of them just fine.”

“Vivian, even you wouldn’t leave your children to the maids, but would rather care for them yourself, wouldn’t you?”

“…Even so, I save some love to share with Kailo.”

“Honestly, it’s an excuse. He could easily do it if he really wanted to.”

“…That’s true.”

“…Since Mariel and Meryl were born, Kailo has become distant.”

Lady Linne tilted her head as she listened to her words.

“But you haven’t shared love for just 10 days…”

“Just 10 days? That’s a long time.”

“A married couple spends their whole lives together. Ten days is just a blink of an eye, isn’t it? How did you manage before?”

“…I don’t know how I lived when I wasn’t with him.”

Once she understood that pleasure, she couldn’t live without it.

“…Sigh.”

Vivian let out a long sigh.

Kailo claimed he was tired, but Vivian knew for sure.

He was avoiding intimacy.

If she had to ask if this was really her complaint…

“…To be honest, yes. It’s not that intimacy is a must in marriage.”

“…Then?”

“…What’s important is the proof that he loves me. Just talking for a while at night would be enough. Just hugging each other would be good. But recently, he only focuses on the daughters, and I feel like his love for me is fading…”

Lady Linne’s expression remained strange.

Still holding her teacup, she became motionless, as if trying to make sense of her thoughts.

Seeing that, Vivian realized how nonsensical her words must have sounded.

She awkwardly loosened her neck and spoke.

“…No, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“…It’s good for parents to love their children. You don’t need to worry. If you relax a little…”

“…I see.”

Vivian didn’t want to think too deeply, but negative thoughts always grow out of control.

That wasn’t her only concern.

Vivian was currently unable to give birth to a son.

Yet Kailo had been neglecting their intimate life.

Stories about wives who only bore daughters being abandoned were too widespread.

It was also common for men to take concubines to bear sons.

Could she really be sure that such a thing wouldn’t happen to her?

She had known Kailo for 17 years.

They had been married for 10 years.

Ten years could change anything.

Kailo surely loved her, but she couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t take another concubine.

Kailo was also burdened with the responsibility of continuing the family line.

Perhaps it was his sense of duty as the eldest son of the Alan family.

He might take a concubine, not because of love, but because of obligation.

Wasn’t that the same reason Gisela Lute hadn’t been accepted as a wife in the past?

Vivian had no grounds to stop him from taking a concubine.

She was good at complaining, but she still gave in to serious requests from Kailo.

The concubine issue would probably be the same.

She wondered if he had initially taken a concubine without any affection, and then grew to care for her, especially if she gave him a son…

Vivian was certain she would turn into a cruel first wife, like those in fairy tales.

She would probably be extremely jealous of both the concubine and her child.

Vivian shook her head, trying to clear her mind.

There was no need to worry about a future that hadn’t even come yet.

***

It seemed like Vivian had been feeling down lately, so I took her hand and we went for a walk.

But Vivian looked a bit dazed today, as if she had had a difficult day.

At first, she was happy about my suggestion, but now, it seemed like there were intense thoughts running through her mind.

“By the way, when should we head north? We should go soon.”

I had recently received some news from the Alan family.

It seemed that Kayla had found a husband.

They said he was a well-known knight.

I heard the two were developing good feelings for each other, and now her father was asking if I would meet him.

Kayla also said she would break up with him if I didn’t like him.

Honestly, that kind of trust felt like too much pressure for me.

“Ah… yeah.”

Vivian blinked and gave a dazed reply.

I had heard that she had been busy with the Loctana business lately, so I didn’t push her.

Spending time together was more important than the conversations we had.

After walking for a while, I remembered something and spoke up.

“By the way, did you hear? Reginald has already taken a concubine. He’s really capable.”

Reginald, now only 22 years old, had received the love of many women.

It seemed like all his hard training was finally paying off.

Maybe he was trying to leave a successor for me.

If that was the case, I’d be proud of him.

—Thud.

At that moment, Vivian’s body froze.

She stopped so suddenly and forcefully that it seemed strange to me.

“…Vivian?”

When I turned around, I saw Vivian’s eyes shaking.

“…What? C-Concubine?”

“Yeah, Reginald took a concubine.”

“…Ah.”

Vivian’s body relaxed for a moment.

She clutched her chest and tried to steady her breath.

I looked at her and asked.

“Did you think I said I was going to take a concubine?”

Vivian remained silent, as if I had hit the nail on the head.

I scratched my head.

Had I caused Vivian to overthink things?

Was she feeling pressured because she couldn’t give me a son?

I hadn’t been paying much attention to her lately, and I acknowledged that.

Even in our uniquely deep relationship, I had been neglecting her like an ordinary couple might.

It was true that I had been avoiding intimacy.

I still wanted it, but… it made me feel insanely happy.

But that didn’t mean my excuses were lies.

The main reason I avoided intimacy wasn’t just to escape it, but because I was getting tired from taking care of the children.

Of course, it was my choice to take care of them because they were so cute.

I pulled Vivian’s head into my chest and gently stroked her face.

She leaned into me, pretending not to care.

For now, I had to think of a way to handle things.

This small bump in the road that had suddenly appeared in front of us…

I was ready to overcome it easily.