Self-Harming Crazy Bubbly Magician

“Sh-, Shit, what the fuck?”

Yeah, this is it.

This is it. What I’ve been wanting so badly.

My lower abdomen tingled, and it felt slightly wet. The gasps escaping from the man’s rough grip on my throat were so sweet. I twisted my legs and let out a giggle like a junkie whore in a brothel.

When the wizard’s reason is paralyzed by pain, I could feel the emotions unfiltered.

“Fuck! This feels so fucking nasty!”

―Whiik! Kwang!

“Kakh!”

Breath bursting out with blood.

The man threw me away with a horrified look. I was thrown so hard that dust scattered, and I just slumped there. I couldn’t feel anything below my nose. It seemed like my spine was damaged.

“……”

It was a shame. I wanted to feel it a little more. All those emotions that arise when you’re driven to the brink of death and desperately crave life.

I rolled my barely moving eyes and looked at them.

As expected, they were looking at me like I was a crazy bitch. The corners of my mouth were stuck in an upward curve as if they were frozen, and the wound on my left arm had burst open from the impact, spewing blood.

“Hyung-nim. This feels kinda ominous. How about we just leave her and go?”

“…Yeah. Let’s do that.”

My 79 silver.

I need to buy bandages, and I also need 1 silver to register as an adventurer this time…

How I scraped that money together, I can’t lose it.

Actually, I can live without eating or sleeping, but I don’t want to. I skip breakfast, but I always eat lunch and dinner. And I sleep at night.

Anyway, if you’re going to try to kill someone, you should be prepared to die yourself.

Should I play a little prank?

“Hyung-nim! It’s blocked here!”

“Don’t bullshit me! We came in this way, oh. Oh?”

I had blocked all the paths they had entered.

Even if they turned back, all they would see would be the same gray walls.

“Shit!”

They turned back again and headed in the opposite direction. They passed by me, who was lying there like a corpse, and went back to where they had come from…

“H-, Here’s blocked too?!”

“If you say ‘deyo’ one more time at the end of your sentence, I’m going to kill you!”

There’s no way a path would appear.

“W-, What the fuck! It’s all blocked!”

“Iik!”

The more they wandered, the narrower the alley became. By the time they gave up looking for a way out, all sides were blocked around me.

As it became so narrow that they could barely stand, they tried to climb the walls as a last resort.

‘Should I move now…’

Thinking I should move now, I reconstructed myself just enough to move my body. The flow of Mana that gushed out as if drawing thread wrapped around my neck. After a few seconds, I confirmed that my arms and legs were moving without any problems, dusted off the dirt from my butt, and stood up.

I left the bruises and the wound on my left arm as they were.

Contrary to appearances, it’s not as versatile a skill as you might think, but that’s a story for later.

“O-, Oh?”

Did they think I was dead? The leader’s eyes widened when I stood up on my two feet.

“Kuaaak! You did this!”

To only realize that now, how stupid.

Without answering, I ‘passed through’ the wall and slipped away leisurely. The same alleyway as before greeted me. I stretched and quietly picked up the coin pouch that those guys had dropped on the floor. Hmm, 79 silver. Accurate.

“Wa-, Wait a minute!”

The walls they were trapped in would gradually narrow. I covered even the ceiling to prevent them from escaping. They would die helplessly in the darkness, in the primordial fear.

“Sa-, Save me!”

“Don’t push! Stay calm! I said stay calm!”

“How can I stay calm, you crazy bastard aaaaak!”

―Kwaduk. Kwajijik.

The walls that blocked all sides gradually shrank, making sounds of flesh tearing and bones breaking, and eventually became a square cube.

A small gray cube.

This square cube contained the Mana and flesh of three ordinary people.

If I sell it to the Magic Tower, they’ll buy it, saying it’s good. Since they’re ordinary people, there won’t be much Mana, so it’ll probably be worth about 20 Cooper.

20 Cooper.

That was the value of the three-man robbery gang.

‘…Should I trap myself in a narrowing secret room?’

It would definitely be exciting.

‘No, let’s restrain myself.’

But I shook my head.

What I’m most wary of is becoming numb to even pain and death.

‘You’re not going to die anyway.’ ‘You can stop at the end.’ Thoughts like that are the most dangerous. With my level of ability, I could separate my mind and body and enjoy the pain regardless of my life, but…

If I repeat ‘suicide attempts’ over and over, I’ll eventually become indifferent. Even craving life will become boring.

If that time comes, I really won’t be able to endure it.

So, I usually endure it by self-harming, and when my life is threatened by external factors, I don’t touch it separately.

Even if it could really end my life.

*

“Hello.”

“Why do you keep coming to a store that’s going to go bankrupt?”

“I came to buy bandages.”

“Crazy bitch.”

Unlike the sign that says [Golden Repair], the store was all gray, and there were cracks everywhere, making it look like it was about to go bankrupt, just like the owner said.

But there was a reason why I frequented this place, firstly, because of its secluded location with no people, and secondly, because they didn’t say anything even when they saw my wounds. In short, they protect my privacy well.

“…Tsk.”

His gaze went to my neck. There was a clear handprint, bruised. His gaze gradually went down to my left arm, which was bleeding profusely, and then to my limping leg.

The owner stared at the wounds for a few seconds, then turned his gaze away as if he couldn’t bear to keep looking at them.

When I stood still, he handed over the bandages without saying a word. I also handed over the money without saying a word. I smiled slightly and carefully received the bandages.

But the owner’s face was different from usual, with a troubled expression like someone who was dying of curiosity.

“Hey.”

He couldn’t stand his curiosity and finally spoke to me.

It was the first time he had spoken to me after a transaction, so I turned my gaze to check his face.

“I’m going to close the store from today. It’s something I should have done a few days ago, but I was so curious.”

Closing the store? I felt a little disappointed. Other stores would freak out and kick me out when they saw my wounds, or call the guards. Hmm, there aren’t many stores that handle cloth in the back alleys.

“Where did you get those wounds? You’ve come here more than ten times. But you always come with a bunch of wounds.”

“Um….”

“Well, you don’t have to say if it’s something you can’t talk about. But, but, I saw three guys passing by in this alley. They were familiar faces. They’ve been committing robberies for a few weeks now. I reported it, but it didn’t work because they have connections at the guard station.”

He said, looking at the clear handprint on my neck.

“Did you…meet them?”

“….”

I took out the gray cube from my pocket and handed it to the owner.

“W-, What is this?”

“If you sell it to the Magic Tower, they’ll buy it for 20 Cooper. Take it.”

“No, what is this?”

I slightly cracked the cube open and showed him the inside.

―Twitch.

One small eye stared at the owner from within the twitching flesh.

“Those guys.”

There were three people living inside the cube.

I left the owner, who had turned pale, and headed to the Adventurer’s Guild.

* * *

I roughly wrapped the bandages and entered the Adventurer’s Guild. The bruise on my neck wouldn’t be good to show, so I covered it with a short cape.

Adventurer’s Guild.

It’s a place I don’t usually use, but I use it when I dispose of monster materials or ‘cubes’. Originally, I should have run there on the first day and had a glorious adventurer’s life, but…

My interest had waned, so I skipped it.

Instead, I wondered if I would become interested if I hunted monsters, so I worked hard to beat them up.

Hunting period: one month. During that month, I went in and out of the Adventurer’s Guild, but I got tired of hunting too, so I didn’t go there anymore. So, it had been two months since I had visited the guild.

As an aside, the receptionists know me as a messenger from the Magic Tower.

That’s because the materials I bring are all big and chunky.

Gargoyle skin, Golden Drake’s heart, baby Owlbear feathers, even the guardian deer’s claws that protect the Verdant Tree….

Unfortunately, I’m empty-handed today. It’s to register as an adventurer, which I’ve been putting off.

I carefully opened the guild door and went inside.

“….”

Attention was focused on me. It wasn’t a place for a girl like me to come, but the fact that I was covered in blood was probably the biggest reason.

I ignored the pouring gazes and joined the long line in front of the reception desk.

―Huh? Haven’t I seen that little kid somewhere before?

―Ah, the Magic Tower messenger we talked about before? She was always covered in blood because of the size of the materials.

―Ah, right! You remember well!

I hunted all of that myself.

Well, let them think what they want.

“Little kid! Come here!”

“…?”

The dog-like receptionist with brown hair and impressive freckles was named Mary. As soon as she saw me, she gestured enthusiastically for me to come here!

But the long line showed no signs of ending. I thought about going forward as Mary said, but time was meaningless to me, so I decided to just wait quietly.

“Oh, come on!”

Why is this woman like this? When I didn’t react, she handed over her work to a colleague and came directly to me.

“Oh, come on. I said you can come. Don’t be scared. Those men look intimidating, but they’re nice people.”

“Who’s face is intimidating?”

A complaint flew in, but Mary skillfully brushed it off.

“Heh. They’re the kind of people who could beat up a dragon with their faces, what are they saying.”

Then, laughter erupted from the surroundings. It was a scene that could only be seen in gag manga, but it wasn’t funny at all. Am I just emotionally dry?

“So, what brings you here today? Material purchase?”

If I had brought monster materials that had been freshly harvested and were covered in blood, she would have noticed, but is she stupid or just dense? Well, even if it were me, I wouldn’t believe it if someone said that such a small girl was slicing up monsters.

Mary was about to take me to the counter with the ‘Magic Tower’ sign, so I had no choice but to take her hand off.

“Huh? What’s wrong?”

I’m not a Magic Tower affiliate, and I didn’t come to sell materials.

“I came to register as an adventurer.”

“….”

The atmosphere suddenly turned cold.

“A-, An adventurer?”