Response to the Confession (2)

After my response to Ethan’s confession, another awkward silence filled the hospital room.

…Did I perhaps make a mistake in the answer I just gave?

I had conditionally accepted Ethan’s confession, stating that if he still wanted to maintain a romantic relationship with me by graduation, I would accept it.

Surely, this should have been a sufficiently understandable answer for Ethan.

Moreover, it would allow me to preserve the bond Ethan and I had built over five years in my own way.

Feeling somewhat relieved, thinking it was a pretty good answer, I relaxed slightly-

When Ethan, in a serious tone, posed an unexpected question.

“Lilith.”

“…Yes, Young Master Ethan.”

“So, if you’re saying we can think of ourselves as lovers, what exactly is allowed?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, like holding hands, saying ‘I love you’-those things couples do. How far are you willing to allow that?”

“……”

“I’m asking how much you’re permitting.”

“Uh, well, that is…”

…I hadn’t thought that far ahead.

I had only considered preserving my bond with Ethan and hadn’t given much thought to such specific details.

I had vaguely assumed that simply acting like lovers would suffice.

But the biggest problem was that, in my past life, I had never been in a romantic relationship with anyone.

How could I, who knew nothing about romance, possibly set boundaries for physical intimacy in a relationship?

Realizing that I had boldly proposed a temporary romantic relationship without understanding the implications, I felt a surge of panic.

“W-well, you see… It’s…”

“……”

Avoiding Ethan’s gaze as he silently waited for my answer, I desperately racked my brain.

First, holding hands should be fine, right? No, wait-at this point, only allowing hand-holding would be ridiculously minimal physical contact.

We’ve already held hands at the masquerade ball, and it’s something we could do anytime anyway.

If not hand-holding, then maybe hugging? But hugs are something even non-couples can do casually.

Then… what if it’s… a kiss?

“Ah, uh, ah, ah…”

“Lilith?! Are you okay? If you’re feeling unwell, should I call Saintess Celista-“

“N-no, it’s not that kind of problem. I’m fine, Young Master Ethan.”

“…That’s good to hear.”

The moment I imagined kissing Ethan, my thoughts short-circuited.

Even though my first kiss was technically already taken during CPR, why did the thought of kissing Ethan make my head throb again?

Wait, thinking about it, since I was unconscious then, does that even count as a first kiss? And it was just a medical procedure…

‘No, now isn’t the time to debate when my first kiss was.’

Pushing aside the distracting thoughts, I focused solely on seriously considering how far I could allow things with Ethan.

So far, the most intimate physical contact Ethan and I had shared was… ‘chest touching.’

Originally, I never intended to allow it at all, and even if I did, I planned to permit it only on special days when Ethan defeated Harold.

But since Ethan kept winning against Harold so often, it became a regular occurrence.

In the context of our master-exclusive maid relationship, the most intense physical contact was chest touching.

Now that we’ve taken a step closer as temporary lovers, shouldn’t this level of contact also escalate?

But if chest touching is the current limit, the next step would undoubtedly be…

“T-t-t-that much is absolutely not allowed!!”

“Huh, wh-what?!”

“E-even if I’ve agreed to be your temporary lover, Young Master Ethan, doing… t-that… while we’re still students is inappropriate…”

“…Lilith, calm down. And when you say ‘that’ or ‘there,’ I’m not sure what you mean.”

“…My apologies.”

Unintentionally thinking about what comes after chest touching, I blurted out a flustered response.

Of course, speaking so vaguely would naturally confuse Ethan.

I needed to clearly define what was off-limits in terms Ethan could understand, but… it wasn’t easy.

Especially since I’d already allowed chest touching-what excuse could I use to prevent Ethan from crossing the ‘final line’?

…At this point, I had no choice but to resort to an old-fashioned excuse.

“Sex…”

“…Sex?”

“N-no, interc… No, coi… Ugh…”

“…It’s okay, Lilith. I think I get what you’re trying to say.”

“…No, I should make it clear.”

It’s better to spell it out now than to leave room for misunderstandings.

I’d had enough of embarrassing misunderstandings.

“First and foremost, I believe sexual intercourse between a man and a woman is inappropriate.”

“Can I ask why? Not that I’m complaining about your decision.”

“It’s… because I was raised by my mother to uphold chastity before marriage.”

“…Chastity before marriage?”

“It was my mother’s teaching since childhood. She was a devout follower of the Aurelia Church and made me pledge to remain chaste until marriage.”

“…I see. If it’s your mother’s teaching, then there’s nothing to be done.”

For a moment, I felt guilty for lying again, but it was a necessary choice.

Without this excuse, there was a real risk that Ethan and I might cross a line someday.

If I didn’t have the potential of a saintess, I wouldn’t have needed such an excuse, but I couldn’t recklessly discard this potential that might help us in the future.

And I certainly couldn’t confess to him, ‘It’s because I’m a saintess.’

“Got it. I’ll be careful about… that-I mean, sexual intercourse.”

“Thank you for your understanding, Young Master Ethan.”

Fortunately, Ethan, being understanding, accepted my spur-of-the-moment excuse about chastity.

Then, right after, he leaned his face closer to mine.

“Young Master Ethan? Your face is too close…”

“So, is that the only restriction, Lilith?”

“…Huh?”

“I’m asking if everything else is allowed, as long as we don’t have sex.”

“…Huh?!”

W-wait a minute.

Now that I think about it, does that really mean…?

No, I never agreed to that extent!

Saying sexual intercourse is off-limits was only about the absolute final line-not that everything else is permitted.

I didn’t mean to imply that other things were allowed…

“……”

“……”

Ethan pulled his face so close that our noses almost touched.

For a moment, I wondered if our lips would meet.

As I nervously clenched my eyes shut, I felt something slightly firm brush against my lips.

Not the touch of lips-this sensation was probably…

“Just kidding, Lilith.”

“…Huh?”

When I cautiously opened my eyes again, Ethan was pressing a single finger against my lips.

His gaze held a calm understanding.

“I won’t rush things, so don’t worry.”

“…Huh?”

“I won’t push the pace from the start-you don’t have to be anxious.”

“……”

“Aside from our past relationship, let’s treat this as our first time as lovers. That way, you’ll feel more at ease, right?”

“…Yes, you’re right.”

…Phew.

For a moment there, I thought I was really going to be kissed.

I had considered this possibility when proposing a temporary relationship, but the idea of kissing from today onward was still overwhelming.

It’s too soon. If we’re going to kiss, I need time to mentally prepare…

“I didn’t expect you to be this nervous about just a kiss.”

“…Huh?”

“I mean, we’ve already done things more intimate than kissing, so it’s a little surprising you’re shy about this.”

“……”

“Ah, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Lilith. I also want to take things slow with you from the start. I just meant I’m happy to see this unexpected side of you.”

“…Young Master Ethan.”

“Yes?”

-Peck.

Seeing Ethan’s smug smile as he spoke, I felt inexplicably irritated.

Seizing the moment his head turned slightly, I lightly pressed my lips against his.

…Just a tiny, fleeting touch.

“……”

In the awkward silence, Ethan stared at me blankly.

I, too, felt my face burning and wanted to flee immediately.

But since I had boldly initiated the kiss, I had to at least pretend to be composed.

“…Don’t misunderstand, Young Master Ethan.”

“Lilith? Did you just…?”

“I’m not so weak as to tremble over a mere kiss.”

“……”

“…I-I only did it so you’d know that. Nothing more.”

…Surely he understands now.

That I’m not the kind of girl who shudders at just a kiss.

“Right, Lilith. I see…”

“…Yes, that’s right.”

“……”

“……”

In the suddenly awkward atmosphere, Ethan and I could only exchange glances, avoiding direct eye contact.

For several minutes until Celista returned to the room, we shared nothing but an uncomfortable silence.