Prologue: I Insulted God

When I was young, pigeons were closer to true birds.

They would flutter away with the slightest approach, an animal impossible to catch.

But thanks to industrialization, these bastards gradually bulked up, and now they’re something that looks like a bird, stuck in Siege Mode, not even moving when you get close.

Their feathers are all black and dirty, pecking at some kind of pancake someone left on the street overnight, a real eyesore.

Seeing that on the way to work early in the morning makes me grateful I’m going to work on an empty stomach.

So why am I talking about pigeons?

It’s because the woman flapping her wings in front of me seems like the final evolution of those damn pigeons.

-I’ll assume you reacted strongly to the sudden situation. But if you say another rude word to me, I won’t forgive you…

“What the fuck, did you inject soy sauce directly into your brain? I died because of you guys, so why should I suffer?”

-I said I was sorry about that. Actually, this reincarnation is a privilege for you, a mortal…”

“Reincarnation? Hey, what about my life of over 30 years of hard work? What about my parents who suddenly lost their son? What are you going to do about that?”

-It may be a great tragedy for an individual, but considering it on a vast, dimensional scale, your sacrifice brought stability to the entire dimension, and your soul was highly valued for that contribution, so you were reincarnated…

I raise my middle finger.

“Screw you, bring me back to life.”

-That’s impossible. Your soul from the Earth dimension was the medium for maintaining the balance of the dimension.

“Oh, really? You’re so confident?”

-…So, to continue what I was saying, we’re trying to compensate you by placing your soul in a dimension you desire.

Damn it, she’s not listening.

The pigeon glances at me, then continues.

-Is there a place you’d like to go? Others have already chosen where they want to be reincarnated. I’ll give you the list, so please choose.

She hands me a densely written scroll.

There are so many. There are really many worlds besides the one I live in.

But so what?

You kill someone who’s living peacefully for the sake of dimensional stability, and the only compensation you give is reincarnation into another dimension?

She probably thinks she’s doing me a big favor.

These guys are the bosses. They’re always in a position of power, so they don’t know how the underdogs feel.

Then it’s my duty to clearly convey how I feel right now.

“Oh, there’s a good place. I’ll go here.”

-I’m glad you found a place you like. Please tell me the dimension you want to go to, and I’ll send you there. There will be a brief Dimension Entry interview with the god of that dimension, but it’s just a formality, so you don’t have to worry too much.

“Your Mom Dimension. I’ll go here.”

-……

Snap. I hear something breaking.

The surroundings shake, and something rises like heat haze.

Ah, that bitch is pissed. I thought gods were supposed to be emotionless.

-I see. Since you don’t have a desired dimension, I’ll choose one for you. In the name of Ranael, 3rd Class Dimension Management God, I declare. Kang In-ho. Your soul will traverse many dimensions. You will travel through infinite dimensions until you find a dimension you desire.

A pillar of light forms beneath my feet. Oh… classic effect. It clearly feels like I’m being transferred somewhere.

The light grows stronger and stronger.

-According to your profile, you want to be a man popular with women, so I’ll grant you that wish. I hope you live well, being loved to death by women.

“Eat this. Have a good life, you bitch.”

I give her the finger, and the pigeon’s face contorts.

Then my vision went dark for a moment.

The place I woke up in was dark and damp. A musty, stale smell slowly permeated my nose.

“What…”

A voice as rough as sandpaper.

Dry lips, I must not have had water for quite a while, my throat is parched.

“Hi… Hihi… Inho, you’re awake? I, I thought you might be dead… I was going to follow you…”

My body is tied to a chair.

A woman with crazy eyes is holding a kitchen knife to her neck.

The words the pigeon said before I came here faintly come to mind.

[I hope you live well, being loved to death by women.]

“Fuck. I’m screwed.”