Imposing Inferiority Complex

<Side : Alex Raise>

『Fisherman’s Moon – 15th (Evening)』

“Ah… is this my room?”

I had somehow lost consciousness and woke up in the lodging.

Looking at the sky, dyed with the setting sun and turning dark blue, I realized it was already evening.

“I’m naked…”

The clothes I had been covered in blood with were laundered and neatly folded in a basket, and I rose from the blanket without any underwear.

My equipment was also neatly maintained and placed carefully against the wall.

“The wounds are gone too… Did Clarice heal me?”

–Creak…

[You’re awake. Alex♥]

[Seriously… do you know how long you’ve been sleeping?]

The door opened, and Clarice and Mel entered.

“Kuh……♡”

As the two entered, the inside was instantly filled with a suffocatingly sweet scent, and I felt my dick, which was stark naked, swell slightly.

“Hah… I was sleeping that long. I’m sorry to you two…”

[Heeh… more than that, Alex… are you getting hard?]

[Is that what you call hard? Pfft♥ It’s so small. Yours is♥]

“Th, this is…!”

The two had slight smiles on their faces.

I was about to say something to the two who were sexually harassing me… when the events in the forest suddenly came to mind.

Clarice and Mel’s strike that annihilated the High Orc and the Orc horde… I couldn’t be sure that their overwhelming skill difference would only be directed at Monsters.

I, who was barely standing at that time, didn’t have the right to say anything to them…

[Still, you worked hard today! Alex did his best too… and we finished the report, so don’t worry!]

[You must be tired, so rest more. I’ve already done the laundry and maintenance with my Magic]

The two were encouraging me, who was feeling depressed… but such words of pity felt like daggers stabbing my heart.

“I’m sorry. Clarice, Mel… I put the party in danger again because of me…”

I, as the leader and Vanguard, who should be protecting the rear… lost my strength after defeating just one Orc…

I was instead protected by the two I should be protecting.

Moreover, I, who couldn’t fulfill my duty as a leader, felt fear and inferiority instead of gratitude… I was pathetic and pathetic.

[Don’t worry. Alex. No matter what anyone says, no matter what happens, you’re the leader, right?]

[Yeah, Alex. Just do better next time~]

Even so, the two were worried about me. I don’t even have the courage to face you…

This incident will remain as a lump in my throat for the rest of my life, causing me pain… but I can’t just cover it up.

For the sake of the two who are cheering me on and comforting me…

“I’m really, really sorry! I will strive and work harder so that this never happens again. I will make sure that my powerlessness never puts you in danger again. I will, for sure!”

I bow my head and apologize sincerely.

We are comrades… comrades should help and support each other.

If I’m this weak alone, I’ll only be a hindrance to the others.

[Alex, really… we’ve been together since we were kids, we have a strong bond♥ We wouldn’t get angry over something like that♥]

[That’s right. Neither Clarice nor I have ever had any trouble because of Alex. Don’t worry~]

Smiling brightly, the two came to the side of the bed I was lying on, sat on either side, and whispered sweetly.

Hot breaths, voluptuous bodies, a large Dick……? My body touches theirs.

But, come to think of it… when did Clarice and Mel get such strong bodies…?

They received the Goddess’s Blessing…… is that what they said?

“There’s one thing I want to ask you…”

I bring up a question I had been harboring inside.

“The reason you got stronger… was it because of the Goddess’s Blessing…?”

[Yes, that’s right…! We were finally able to gain true enlightenment after receiving the Goddess’s Blessing♥ Is Alex finally interested in the ‘Blessing’!? Is that right!?]

Clarice’s eyes sparkled as she pushed her large breasts forward.

[You’ve already thought that far ahead♥ That’s right. We became stronger than anyone after receiving the Blessing♥ That goes for you too♥ If you receive the Goddess’s Blessing, you can become as strong as us… or maybe even stronger]

Mel pressed her large buttocks against mine, sending hot breaths.

[The method is… right over there♥]

The two’s fingers pointed to a potion placed on the desk.

A potion bottle labeled ‘Blessing’. My figure is reflected in the shimmering liquid.

“If I accept that… can I become stronger too?”

[Yes! Yes!! You definitely will♥ The Goddess is great and absolute… there is nothing she cannot do♥]

[The Goddess will change your weakness and your powerlessness♥]

Moonlight embroidered in the dark blue night sky. The expressions of the two reflected in that light.

Evil smiles hanging on their ears and lewd eyes are watching closely what action I will take next, what words I will utter.

“I… I…”

I slowly reach out my hand towards the ‘Blessing’. If I can become stronger by relying on that……

Was it okay for me not to become stronger through my own efforts…?

Am I so desperate that I’m pursuing strength so much?

I answer my own question… and the outstretched hand stops in mid-air.

[Alex…? What’s wrong? It’s the ‘Blessing’? You can become stronger…!]

[Are you still hesitating? There’s no need to hesitate. It’s the Goddess…! The great mother Goddess!]

The two’s voices rise. They urge and fret.

But I eventually lower my hand…

“Sorry… I’ll think about it a little more. Becoming stronger with the Goddess’s Blessing isn’t the same as becoming stronger with my own strength… I want to become stronger solely with my own strength and protect everyone…!”

It was a carefully considered decision. I will… overcome this inferiority and become stronger with my own strength.

But what came back was…

[[Hah?]]

A chilling voice that froze the room. The expressions they had been wearing just a moment ago had disappeared without a trace, and gazes of contempt were directed at me.

“B, both of you… calm down…”

The air hung heavy. I was flustered and tried to calm the two down… but it didn’t work at all.

[Calm…? Do you think we can stay calm? Do you, do you……! Do you think you have the right to say that!?]

Intense anger poured out from Clarice. Veins were visible on her head, and her eyes were bloodshot…

“Th, that’s right! Let’s go back and rest first… you guys must be tired too…! Let’s rest enough until tomorrow, and then continue training the day after…”

[You’re talking nonsense. Did you hurt your head when you fell? Rest tomorrow and train the day after? Pfft♥ It seems we need to instill the necessity of diligence deep into Alex’s bones. Mel♥]

[If that’s how you want it, that’s how we’ll do it♥ You have to keep the words you said yourself. If you want to become stronger with your own strength, shouldn’t you train while saving even your rest time?]

Anger, contempt, and disappointment. Each word becomes a sharp dagger, stabbing every part of my body.

“Wa, wait a minute…!”

[There will be no rest in the future. Alex… tomorrow will be harder than today, and the day after tomorrow will be harder than tomorrow♥ Today will be your last rest, so soothe your tired mind and body. Then, see you tomorrow morning]

[Haa… annoying bastard…]

The two left without looking back.

Alone in the room, I follow the departing comrades with trembling eyes.

I, who have no room to make excuses for the cold judgment that will not allow even an inch of rest, and no courage to stop the two, am once again…

“Damn it……”

What choice should I have made at that time…

[Do not fret. My young lamb, Alex♥ Remember that I am always by your side]

“Ah……”

At that moment, an irresistible sleep came over me, ending with a warm and gentle voice lingering in my head.

It was a difficult and harsh day… but somehow, when I hear this voice, I feel calm………

–

–

–

『Fisherman’s Moon – 16th』

『Fisherman’s Moon – 17th』

『Fisherman’s Moon – 20th』

……….

『Cross Moon – 18th』

『Cross Moon – 20th (Morning)』

About a month has passed since then…

“Haa… haah……”

Without exaggeration, not a single day was missed… I really trained every single day. But could that be called training?

There wasn’t a day when the smell of blood didn’t fade from my labored breathing.

Clarice chose all the requests, and they were all difficult ones.

Because of that, I, who lacked skill, would barely catch one and become exhausted, or one day I wouldn’t catch even one and be beaten to a pulp until Clarice scolded me and rescued me.

“I don’t… like this…”

After experiencing the bitter taste of defeat for days and nights… the self-esteem that seemed like it would never break went down through the basement.

At times, I hesitated, wondering, ‘Can I really do this?’ and if Mel hadn’t found me, I would have really left this world that day.

When I was foolishly covered in dirt and blood, kissing the ground… Clarice and Mel would whistle and easily deal with the Monsters.

The way they easily dealt with the Monsters made me feel like a fool for struggling so much… They would slam them with a cross as if a child was playing with a toy, and when they waved their Staff, the Monsters would disappear without a trace.

“Today too, do I have to go today too…”

After dealing with the Monsters, the two would leave without saying anything to me, and sometimes they would come back with incredibly happy faces.

Even if I dragged my tired body and followed them, I would somehow collapse and wake up in bed countless times.

The same day starts again today. Yesterday, I tried to catch a giant mantis that appeared in the forest, but both of my arms were cut off and I couldn’t move, so I lost consciousness and woke up in bed.

My trembling eyes are directed beyond the door. I haven’t even used the black sword that I had carefully maintained since some time ago. More than half the days I went to take on a request, I fainted without even drawing my sword.

“I can’t… stay like this any longer…”

But how…? Clarice and Mel were exceptionally strong, and I was exceptionally weak compared to them.

The old me, who said that I could become stronger with the vain dream of effort, feels truly foolish.

I, who am pathetically weak… I, who can’t keep up with the training and hold the two back…

“I wish the two of them had kicked me out… I wouldn’t have had these foolish thoughts…”

That’s right… there’s no reason for the two strong people to bother taking the weak me with them.

The fact that they personally treated and cared for my injured self and treated me as if nothing was wrong made me more miserable and fueled my inferiority.

I bite my lip tightly and shed mournful tears… but no one is listening.

“What am I doing…… I’m so incompetent……”

–Creak……

My face buried in the blanket is directed towards the wide open door.

They are Clarice and Mel… precious comrades and the cause of all my depression…

[We came to talk about something important today. Alex]

[It’s an important story. Open your ears and listen carefully]

“What… is it…”

The two came with serious expressions, not the mocking and wickedly smiling expressions they usually had.

We haven’t visited each other’s rooms in the meantime. Whether I entered or they entered… the fact that the two of them came to my room to say something means…

I anticipate the worst situation and swallow hard.

“Is it… because of the party… disbanding?”

[Huh? Of course not♥ We’re precious friends. There’s no way we’d disband, right?]

[We came because we have a suggestion. We’ve been diligently taking on requests for a month and we’ve received a lot of the Goddess’s Blessing, but… you’re the only one who hasn’t made any progress, and because of that]

[We’ve been diligently taking on requests for a month, right? Well, we’re always lucky enough to receive the Goddess’s Blessing after catching Monsters, but Alex… couldn’t, right?]

I feel numb, as if I’ve been hit in the back of the head several times. The two strongly denied the party’s disbandment.

“Then… what is it?”

[Alex, you choose the next request yourself♥ We thought that you were having a hard time based on our standards, and it doesn’t seem to be helping with your training at all…]

“Re, really…!?”

Clarice’s consideration touched my heart. A request that suits my level, huh…

[Hehe♥ But there’s one condition♥ Alex♥]

“Co, condition…?”

[If you win against me in arm wrestling… I’ll let you do it♥ If you lose, you have to choose a request at the same level as the ones Clarice has been choosing♥]

[Don’t be too intimidated. Alex! Mel will also… hehe♥ adjust her strength appropriately. Win and cheer up♥]

Encouraged by Clarice, the negative emotions that had been building up seemed to melt away.

“Okay… I’ll win… for sure!”

I and Mel quickly took our places at either end of the desk.

Unlike her violent and attractive body, Mel’s hand was smooth without any fat.

For a moment, I was deluded into thinking I could win.

But that expectation was…

[Then let’s start♥ We’ll move when I count to three, okay? One, two… three♥]

–Thud…

“Ugh…”

It was shattered in an instant. The arm wrestling ended in my defeat in less than a second.

It wasn’t like I didn’t put in any strength. But even so, Mel leisurely knocked my arm down onto the desk.

The pathetic excuse that I wasn’t prepared would only make me more miserable.

[Oh… you did put in strength, right. Alex? This isn’t the end, is it?]

“Y, yeah…! Of course not.”

Mel gives a bitter smile. Her dark brown arm didn’t seem to have any strength in it.

[Then let’s start again♥ One, two, three…♥]

–Bang…!

“Kuh…!!”

[No, no♥ If you do that, you’ll have a terrible time again today♥ There will be many more opportunities in the future. Let’s do it more. Alex♥]

I lost miserably for the second time. I put in all my strength this time too, but Mel’s arm didn’t even budge.

–Crash…!!

“Kuaaaat…!!!”

Of course, I lost for the third time as well… This time, Mel slammed my arm down so hard that I hit the desk and started bleeding.

[You can’t give up with just this♥ Do your best until the end… here♥]

–Crack…!!

I lost for the fourth time as well. When I lost, I heard the sound of bones breaking, and I felt unbearable pain.

“Ah, aaaa…!! Kuh…”

[I didn’t know you were this weak. Did I overestimate Alex too much? I thought you were a tough heart♥]

–Crash…!! Crackle…!!!

“Haeugeugeueuk…! M, my arm……!”

I ended up losing the last one as well. The table broke, and I was thrown to the floor. The wrist I had been arm wrestling with was twisted in an impossible direction.

[Ahahaha♥ If you had lost cleanly and given up at first, I wouldn’t have done this much… but you looked so pathetic trying to crawl up to the end without knowing your place that I got a little too into it♥ Sorry. Alex♥]

“Haa… haa……”

Mel laughed for a while, then left the room without even looking at me, as if she had lost all interest.

In the end, only I and Clarice were left in the room. She sat next to me, neatly healed my broken and injured arm, and opened her tightly closed mouth.

[Haa… Alex. Actually, there was another intention in this arm wrestling…]

“Another intention…?”

[It was to understand your place. Knowing your level and not getting involved in fights you can’t win is also a method. There are so many people who rush in like moths to a flame and die]

The arm wrestling with Mel. If it had been a real battle… I would have died once because I mistakenly thought I could win, and I would have died several times because I didn’t know the strength of the opponent and rushed in.

[I’m really disappointed… Were you planning to let us die with such trashy judgment?]

“Th, that’s……”

[If you keep showing a weak side, we can’t stand it anymore. We can banish you, or form a new party with me and Mel, or… we can hire another capable person]

Clarice opened the door… and delivered an ultimatum.

“Wa, wait a minute, Clarice…”

[Go pick a request quickly. As I said before, at the same level as the ones I’ve been choosing all along… If you faint this time too, our party is really over]

–

–

–

“Damn it… damn it…!!”

In the room where I was left alone again, I hit the floor and vented my anger.

I didn’t even feel the pain of the wooden fragments of the broken desk stuck in my hand… because I was experiencing even greater pain…

“I’m… exhausted now… really…”

My hand is covered in blood again with wooden fragments stuck in it… and I struggle to get up and leave the room.

If I don’t go to receive a request like this…? I’ll experience even more pain than now and be abandoned…

“I need to calm down at least……”

The morning sun shone on the street. My listless steps didn’t head straight for the guild.

This was my last act of defiance, a childish indulgence. I wanted to clear my head, even if just a little, by getting some fresh air.

“Alex…? Long time no see.”

“Reisy Hyung…?”

As I wandered aimlessly, I heard a familiar voice and turned around.

There stood Reisy Hyung, his sky-blue hair fluttering, holding his Ice Spear.

Beside him were the man with the Gauntlet I’d seen before, and a woman with a gun as big as herself.

“Ooh. Is this the kid you were talking about? Ah…! I’m sorry for the late introduction. My name is Myrit Radius.”

The brown-haired man, who introduced himself as Myrit, offered a refreshing smile and extended his hand for a handshake.

“Ah, is that him? Lacey mentioned him a few times… I’m Elizabeth Pendragon. Myrit and I are married.”

Elizabeth casually brushed back her long purple hair and offered a slight wave instead of a handshake.

“It’s quite early in the morning, and you seem to be in a hurry.”

“Ugh… Does it show that much?”

“Anyone can tell just by looking at your face. More importantly… what were you doing alone, leaving the other two behind?”

“Well… they’re resting at the inn. Something tough happened yesterday… So, where have you been, Hyung? I haven’t seen you around.”

I quickly changed the subject. I couldn’t handle talking about the two of them. If I did… I wouldn’t be able to control my emotions.

“Hmm… I went on that expedition I mentioned before. There was a war between the Empire and the Kingdom. I went there as a mercenary. I had some personal business to take care of, so it took a little longer, and I only arrived today.”

A war between the Empire and the Kingdom… An event unimaginable for a mere adventurer like me came from Reisy Hyung’s mouth.

I’d glimpsed something about it on the bulletin board… I heard the Kingdom won…

These people… were braver adventurers than anyone who brought news of victory.

“Reisy Hyung… Hng…”

The self-esteem that had been chipped away by being ignored and ridiculed… broke down when I met someone who treated me kindly without belittling me, and I burst into tears.

And I had one question I wanted to ask these strong people, different from Mel and Clarice.

“H-Hey…? Alex? Why are you crying all of a sudden?”

“I, I… I want to ask you three something… How can I become stronger…?”

“How to become stronger, huh… Heh, you’ve been cornered pretty badly.”

Reisy Hyung’s sharp eyes pierced through my emotions. As expected… if you’re strong, you need to have that kind of insight…

“I want to become stronger. I want to reach a higher level… but I can’t go any further with my own strength… Hicc… Hwaaa…!!”

I wanted to speak, but I was choked up and sobbing. The emotions I had been suppressing exploded… and I ended up crying pathetically at this age…

“Hmph… You’re becoming an adult now. You’re even worrying about things like this.”

Reisy Hyung wore an adult expression, ruffled my hair roughly, and laughed.

“Talent, bloodline, luck… there are many factors that determine strength. But one thing… is to never give up and survive. That will never change. It’s not that the strong survive, but that those who survive are strong. If you persevere and endure, you’ll eventually bear fruit.”

“That was quite a realistic concern. Hmm… If I may offer a piece of advice as someone lacking, value experience. Our lives as humans are short, but if you embrace diversity, your perspective will change.”

“You too… Do you think he’ll understand if you say it like that? Well, I’m not keen on giving advice either, but if I had to say one thing… don’t blindly believe in just one goal. You can change your goals at any time. Obsession can sometimes become a disease.”

The three adventurers gave me advice that would become my bones and flesh, one after another.

Don’t give up, value experience, and don’t blindly believe…

Even if some might say it’s something anyone could say, the heartfelt advice from skilled individuals who had survived life-and-death situations could never be forgotten.

“Hic… Th-Thank you…! Reisy Hyung. Mr. Myrit. Ms. Elizabeth…! Thanks to you, thanks to you, I’ve realized so much…!”

That’s right… I can’t just collapse like this…

I have to overcome the walls that are Clarice and Mel someday… Don’t give up, and gain experience…!

“See you next time!”

I wiped the tears and snot from my sleeves, waved at the three of them, and ran back to the inn.

The three of them wore warm smiles and waved back at me as I left.

“Let’s spar… I need to gain experience to reach the same level…! Subjugating Monsters isn’t the only way to get stronger! I must never, ever break down…!!”

–

–

–

『Cross Day – 20th (Noon)』

“Keuh… Keoeok…”

[Haa… Alex… I told you. Know your place. What do you think you’ll become by recklessly challenging me, not knowing your limits?]

Was it because of the confidence instilled in me by the senior adventurers…?

I went straight to Clarice and demanded a spar.

But the result was as you can see…

“Haaa… Heukeuaaaak…”

My head was torn and bleeding, my stomach was caved in, and I couldn’t breathe properly. My arms and legs were completely broken, and I couldn’t even move.

The corners of my mouth were torn, and blood-mixed saliva wouldn’t stop flowing… Clarice stomped on the laceration on my head with her heel and gave me a look of contempt.

[Besides, you didn’t even bring the request form I told you to get… If you forgot it in just a few hours… I’m really disappointed. Alex. It might be better for you if you just didn’t get up like this]

The power of healing flowed from her condemning shoe…

I didn’t lay a single finger on Clarice and was defeated overwhelmingly and humiliatingly. I don’t know how many times I kissed the ground…

[I’ll heal you for now… but please, don’t do this again. Alex. How can you be so weak?]

My irregular breathing returned, and the wounds began to heal as if they had never been there.

“Keuheok…!”

[You pathetic bastard… If you do something this useless again, it won’t end like this today. I’ll make you live with a disability for the rest of your life. Keep that in mind]

As soon as the healing was finished, Clarice spat on me and left.

“Ah… Euh…”

Left alone in a deserted open space, I sobbed in the pool of blood I had shed.

The ideal advice given by the senior adventurers was defeated by the harsh reality that Clarice had shown me.

Everything is equal before an absurdly strong person…

“Blessing…”

At that moment… what came to mind was the shimmering potion bottle.

I had been constantly rejecting the one labeled ‘Blessing’. The reason was my determination to become stronger through my own efforts…

“It was all useless… Effort and training…”

It felt like something snapped in my heart…

There’s no other way now…

–Squeak…

I trudged into my room and turned my eyes to the ‘Blessing’ that was always on my desk.

“Goddess’s Blessing…”

If I just have this, if I just drink this…

“I can be like them too…”

I clutched the bottle tightly in my hand.

“Ahaha…”

I unconsciously laughed. Ideals can’t overcome reality.

I’m weak… absurdly weak.

But if I drink this, I can finally…

“I can become stronger…!”

I won’t hesitate anymore, I won’t waver…

“I’m sorry, Goddess… Please lend me that power, even to me, who has rejected it so much…”

–Gulp… Gulp…

I roughly pulled out the stopper of the ‘Blessing’ and drank it all in one gulp.

Even though it had been left for over a month, the ‘Blessing’ that passed through my throat was only warm.

The feeling of caressing my pain and hugging me tightly spread throughout my body.

“Haa… Haa, Aht…”

My chest is getting hot, and my Dick is trembling…♡♥

I feel so good…♡♥

“Ahahahat… Ahahahahahahat♡♥]

And… I collapsed and fell asleep.

When I wake up from this dream… I’ll be stronger too♡♥

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