How to Wear a Mask

I headed straight for Modiste as soon as I exited the portal station in the capital. It was late, but considering Estelle’s sleep schedule was probably wrecked due to winter break, I figured the time of the visit wouldn’t matter.

Following Ember’s guidance, I knocked on the door and entered. As expected, Estelle was sprawled lazily on the sofa. Judging by the snack wrappers on the floor, she must have quickly put on her mask when she heard the knock.

She’s willing to put on a mask, but not willing to get up? It seems she realized I was a visitor and laid back down.

“What is it, coming to visit at this late hour? You’re a nuisance.”

Her surly voice was full of annoyance. I approached the sofa, pushed Estelle’s legs aside, and sat next to her.

“Get your pig ass off! You’re heavy! I think the sofa is tilting to one side!”

I sighed and held out my hand to Estelle, saying,

“Please teach me how to wear a mask.”

Estelle looked at me as if I was talking nonsense, then grabbed my hand and struggled to sit up.

She stretched for a long time, as if she had been lying down for ages, then looked at me, who was waiting for an answer, tilted her head, and finally realized she hadn’t replied, opening her mouth.

“Ah, a mask? If your mask keeps slipping whenever you move, you should adjust the straps or change the knot. Getting rid of the oil on your face before wearing it is also a way to wear the mask longer.”

“No, I’m not asking for practical tips like that. I want to learn how to really wear a mask. Raellan said you’d understand if I said it like this, though?”

Raellan didn’t kindly explain to me what learning how to wear a mask meant. He didn’t explain, saying that Estelle would explain it in detail anyway, so why should he?

So, I didn’t know exactly what it meant to really wear a mask, and I just came to Modiste without a plan. But Estelle showed a strange reaction. It was as if she had been caught hiding a secret.

“Raellan said that…? That sly bastard, he’s not ordinary after all. I can’t believe he noticed my secret.”

Seeing her shrink back, I scratched my head and asked.

“Can you teach me?”

In response to that, Estelle adjusted the black cat mask she was wearing instead of answering.

“What kind of person do you think I am?”

At the out-of-context question, the first thing that popped into my head was ‘a bratty *mesugaki*,’ but I thought she would definitely hit me if I said it out loud, so I carefully changed my words.

“A playful girl?”

“And?”

Seeing her lift her chin as if to tell me to say more, I said whatever came to mind.

“The owner of Modiste, the successor of the Black Eye, short, lovely appearance, violet eyes, gothic dress, a shy person without a mask?”

Estelle stared at me. Was she going to hit me? As I was getting nervous, I heard a quiet murmur.

“Then who is the real me?”

“Huh?”

“Is Estelle with the mask the real one, or is Estelle without the mask the real one?”

“Well….”

I couldn’t answer and trailed off. When I thought about it, I was more familiar with Estelle wearing a mask. I had met her as a *mesugaki* much more often than as a shy person. But that doesn’t mean that Estelle without the mask isn’t her true self.

I know that answering that the face behind the mask is the real Estelle is accurate. But I have met Estelles from other worlds. And looking at them, I missed the bratty *mesugaki* girl I knew. To me, Estelle with the mask was the real one.

Estelle, who had been staring at me as I couldn’t answer, suddenly burst out laughing. She shrugged as if to say, ‘Why are you so serious?’ and gave a clear answer.

“They’re both me, you idiot! What’s so hard about that answer that you’re so worried about?”

Feeling unfairly called an idiot, I retorted.

“Isn’t your true self the one you show when you’re not wearing a mask?”

“That’s right, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m still me when I’m wearing a mask. It’s not like I’m playing someone else when I put on a mask.”

I tilted my head, not understanding her words.

“I don’t get it…?”

Estelle sighed deeply and explained.

“Just by putting on a mask, a person’s personality can’t completely change to the opposite. Unless it’s acting like in a masquerade.”

Estelle tapped the black cat mask with her fingertip and said.

“What do you think a mask is?”

I had said something to Ross wearing a mask once.

“…A mask is an object to hide your face.”

A mask is something you wear to hide yourself from others. It’s worn to hide unconsciously revealed expressions and emotions. But Estelle shook her head as if she wasn’t satisfied with my answer.

“That’s right. But it’s not the answer I was thinking of.”

With those words, Estelle suddenly brought her face close to mine. It was a scene that looked like a scene from a horror movie at first glance, but Estelle’s small stature and cute cat mask. And the fresh scent that wafted to the tip of my nose made me feel that Estelle’s actions were just cute.

“A mask hides the side of you that you don’t want to show to others, and only shows the side of you that you want to show.”

Does she want to show others her bratty *mesugaki* side? Was the way she approaches me without hesitation, and sometimes shows a reliable older sister-like side, also the side of Estelle that she wanted to show?

I felt a strange sense of incongruity. Estelle said that her *mesugaki* side wasn’t an act. If the opposite of her shy side wasn’t an act, how was that possible? Estelle gave me the explanation.

“It’s true that both the masked and unmasked versions are me. It’s just that I’m covering a specific part of my heart with a mask.”

“So… you’re saying that you’re covering up only the bratty part that was originally in the shy Estelle with a mask.”

“Yeah, that’s….”

“Ack, ack! It’s tearing, it’s really tearing!”

“Who are you calling bratty! You bratty pig!”

I thought she would let it go naturally, but Estelle didn’t miss the truth that came out of my mouth and pinched the flesh on my side as if she was tearing it off.

After finally getting Estelle off me, I even lifted my clothes to check if I was bleeding. This isn’t an exaggeration. It hurt that much. Fortunately, I only had a light bruise. I subtly lifted my butt and put some distance between Estelle and me.

“Anyway, that’s what it means to really wear a mask. It’s showing only a part of myself that I want to show to others with a mask.”

“I understand the explanation… but I don’t understand the method. How do you show only a part of yourself with a mask?”

Unless the mask was some kind of artifact, I couldn’t guess what method Estelle was talking about. As I glanced at the mask, Estelle snorted.

“Why, do you think there’s some other device in the mask? You stupid pig, there’s no way! This is just my taste!”

It wasn’t an artifact, huh? I thought it was a pretty plausible guess.

“Then what is it?”

To my question, Estelle crossed her arms in front of her small chest as if it was obvious and said.

“You materialize a part of your soul and put it on the mask.”

“Soul…?”

“Yeah, that’s why I said that both versions of me are me. Because the masked version is also a part of my original self.”

In that moment, my head arbitrarily read the traces. The setting where her personality is completely opposite when she wears a mask now had plausibility applied to it. Plausibility was about creating plausible reasons even for weak settings that were simply made for fun.

I think I know now why Raellan told me to learn how to wear a mask from Estelle. I have both hope and madness at the same time. Before the two fight and mix together into chaos, he wants me to maintain balance by separating Lily and Ross with masks.

Masks can definitely help me. With that conviction, I grabbed Estelle’s hand, which was fidgeting with the mask as if it was uncomfortable, and shouted.

“I want to learn how to wear a mask!”

Estelle, whose hand was grabbed, flinched and tried to pull her hand away, but suddenly stopped abruptly- and instead grabbed my hand tightly. For some reason, I felt uneasy about that action. It felt like my instincts were warning me to get up from the sofa and run away immediately.

As if the sofa was tilting to one side, Estelle slid closer to me. I tried to avoid it by pulling my body back, but I reached the end of the sofa. Estelle, who was holding my hand tightly to prevent me from escaping, said with a victorious smile.

“Oh my, we happen to be having a winter break discount. And if you add a friend discount… it’s really a business where only the customer benefits. You greedy~! But we’re in this together, *heuheu*! Well, we’ll serve you at a reasonable price~ Ember! Lock the door so the customer can’t leave!”

Only then did I realize that I had made a big mistake, seeing the light of greed flickering in her violet eyes and hearing her voice, which was completely different from usual.