Friend

That place was a world filled with black and white. In that place where things like objects or wind didn’t exist, there was one person who revealed their presence like a drop of black ink on white drawing paper.

He had the same blonde hair and blue eyes as Roel, but perhaps because of his mournful eyes and slightly hunched shoulders, I felt a thick sense of melancholy.

,Hello, Jin Sian.

I was flustered by the sudden encounter and ‘Ross’ knowing my name, but I quickly regained my composure, smiled, and replied.

,Nice to meet you, Ross.

Entering the world of the novel I created, setting up the settings, and meeting the characters I created the story with, made me feel new and strange emotions every time, but.

Facing ‘Ross’, whom I possessed, made me feel a strange sense of guilt and a rebellious feeling that was the opposite of it.

To break the awkward atmosphere and continue the conversation, I immediately asked Ross.

,Do you know what this place is?

,Yes, it’s the ‘us’ Simsang World (心想世係) that Principal Nelson-sensei created through the snow globe.

I didn’t expect an answer, so I was embarrassed and took my time, looking around and asking.

,How long have you been here?

,Since you possessed my body.

At Ross’s words, I sighed and replied.

,I’m sorry. I didn’t want to take your body on purpose.

,I know, you wouldn’t want to possess a character who’s just a disposable item to be used and thrown away.

Not with blame or contempt. Ross’s voice, which seemed to be just stating the facts, made me flinch and shrink.

,You knew…?

At my cautious question, Ross gave a bitter smile and nodded.

,I told you. This place is ‘our’ Simsang World. I’ve been watching you live as ‘Ross’ and as Jin Sian here.

When Ross gestured, the black and white world changed, and my figure eating alone in the corner of the cafeteria came to mind.

Feeling unnecessarily awkward, I asked Ross.

,Do you resent me?

,I did at first, but not anymore. The you who possessed me is a better person than I am.

I felt my emotions surge at Ross’s self-reproach, and I bit my lip.

,How does it feel to live in the world you created as a lump of inferiority, a useless disposable item?

,It’s dogshit. I’ve never thought about Ross’s situation even once. People’s neglect, comparison with Roel. And because of the feelings you have for Ellie, who you have a crush on.

At my words, Ross smiled sadly.

,I’ve resented God all my life. I suspected that maybe he was too busy when he made me and forgot to include being loved. Because what parent would give their child the name ‘Ross’?

,I’m sorry. I just thought I’d give the readers some bait….

As I said apologetically out of guilt. Ross shook his head slightly.

,I know, that you did it without thinking. That’s why you regretted it too.

,…What?

When Ross gestured at my question, the world changed, and the bodies of the mother and daughter I saw in Moonlight Village came into view.

,The massacre in Moonlight Village happened because of one line you wrote without thinking.

At Ross’s words, I couldn’t find anything to say and lowered my head.

,Am I paying the price…?

As I muttered to myself. Ross replied.

,Everything has a cause and effect (因果). Maybe the reason you possessed me is really the price.

At those words, I raised my head and met Ross’s eyes.

,Do you want your body back?

,No, I’m in the most peaceful state since my memories began.

I couldn’t help but sigh at Ross’s expression, which seemed truly satisfied, shrugging his shoulders.

,Haa, I don’t know what to do. Bella is trying to kill me, I have no talent. And when I see Ellie, my emotions act on their own.

As I said in despair, Ross chuckled softly.

,But you’re doing better than I am, right?

,Me?

,Yeah. Don’t you remember what Principal Nelson-sensei said? You’re already a hero. If you hadn’t possessed me, you wouldn’t have been able to save Destin Village. You stopped it with your power.

At Ross’s words, I laughed like a crazy person.

,I never thought I’d be comforted by you, a lump of inferiority…. Thank you.

Ross smiled at my words.

,Because that lump of inferiority is now ‘us’.

I rubbed my face with a dry wash, and then asked a question that suddenly came to mind.

,If you’ve seen my memories, you know what’s going to happen in the future, right?

,Ellie and Roel get together, and I, who witnessed it, explode with inferiority and fall for the Demon King’s temptation?

I nodded at Ross’s kind explanation.

,Yeah. Honestly, I don’t understand. You know that Ellie is using you to approach Roel. But you still like Ellie…?

Ross answered my question without hesitation.

,Even though you didn’t write them, my memories with Ellie were precious. Human emotions are uncontrollable, so even if she doesn’t like me, even if she doesn’t look back at me. It was enough just to watch her.

,What about now? You know the future now.

Ross tilted his head at the question and replied.

,Well? Does my opinion matter?

I was speechless at Ross’s attitude, as if he didn’t care.

,Of course, you’re Ross-

,No, you’re Ross now.

I was flustered by Ross’s sudden interruption and closed my mouth, and he continued.

,You’ve already changed the future once, right? Change the future again and make Ellie your woman. It’s your choice whether to watch her go to Roel. And one piece of advice…. Ellie isn’t just trying to use me like you thought.

I sighed and asked Ross, a pure-hearted man who defended Ellie until the end.

,Then you don’t want anything? You don’t want anything from the person who took your body and made you live a life of inferiority and trash.

As I continued to speak, the emotions I had suppressed leaked out and eventually exploded.

,Fucking hell, how long are you going to live like this? Is living like a retard your goal? I’m right in front of you, the one who made you like this. Why aren’t you cursing and questioning me for making you like this, and just smiling!!!

Even at my shout, Ross just looked at me silently with mournful eyes.

Guilt was added to the emotion of anger in that gaze.

,I’m sorry. I’m not even qualified to be angry.

,No. You might have felt frustrated. But, I feel more grateful to you than resentful?

,What…?

I was speechless at Ross’s words and gave him a look that asked if he was crazy. He replied with a small smile and took something out of his pocket.

,An acorn…?

Ross nodded at my question.

,The reason I felt inferior to my brother was because I always wanted to be a hero like him. I had a dream of becoming like my admired brother, but I realized it was impossible.

Ross gave a bitter smile and continued.

,But, you saved many people in Destin Village. You did something my brother couldn’t do.

,I didn’t do it alone. If it weren’t for Roel, and if it weren’t for Ellie, it would have been impossible to save the village.

Ross nodded at my rebuttal.

,That’s right, but if you hadn’t possessed me, you wouldn’t have gone on such a trip with Ellie and my brother…. Seeing the three of you fishing made me regret it. If I had a better personality, if I had more talent, wouldn’t I have had a better relationship than I do now without feeling inferior?

I felt like guilt was weighing down on my shoulders at Ross’s self-reproach.

,I made you like that….

Ross shook his head at my mutterings and said.

,Do you know what I did when I realized that no matter what I did, I would always be lacking compared to my brother? I do things that my brother doesn’t do. Chores like cleaning, washing dishes, and sewing that Roel doesn’t need to do.

In Ross’s setting, no matter how hard he tries, he will soon be caught up by Roel. The reward for his efforts was comparison with Roel, so in a way, it was wise to distance himself from Roel.

,But you fought by your brother’s side and became a hero. You bravely faced the Chimera to save the people who ignored you in the restaurant.

,I just wanted to live.

I replied that way out of embarrassment. Ross smiled as if he noticed my feelings.

,As you know, surpassing Roel is…. Impossible in the setting.

,I know, my brother is the chosen hero. And the main character of this world. But like in Destin Village and the restaurant, you can save people that Roel can’t save.

Ross said that and handed me the acorn.

,For the first time, I stood on an equal footing without being compared to my brother. The acorn given by an unknown child was the happiest and most joyful thing in my inferior life.

Ross put his hand on my shoulder. I inadvertently exchanged glances at that action. The mournful eyes disappeared, and only a clear will filled his eyes.

,Become a hero. You can’t be better than my brother, and you lack talent. But a hero who fights for people in need, for people who are weak and lacking like us. That’s what I want from you.

I could feel Ross’s sincerity. Ross, who was a lump of inferiority and a disposable item. He chose to move forward, not resentment or revenge.

Would I have been able to make this choice? Maybe Ross was a more amazing person than I was. Ross, who had been meeting my eyes, took his hand off my shoulder and said.

,I’ll be here, happily watching the story that ‘we’ will write.

I could feel my heart beating. As if pure sincerity was contagious. I also answered with sincerity.

,I might disappoint you. I might not become the hero you want…. But I’ll promise you one thing. I won’t give up, and I’ll always try. I’ll show you that I can transcend the limits of being lacking compared to Roel.

Ross smiled brightly for the first time at my determination.

,You. No, ‘we’ can do it.

Ross cheered me on and reached out his hand to me. I felt like sincerity was being conveyed through the hands we held together.

,Oh, did you know that? Acorn also has the meaning of loss (橡實). Although the meaning is different, isn’t it our destiny to become heroes, just like our name and the name of the village?

I was amazed at Ross’s words, but I remembered how much I had hesitated to save Destin Village.

Saving the village. Maybe it really determined our future destiny.

,Someday, we’ll be able to find out why we possessed this world. I’ll think about it too.

I don’t know why, but I laughed at Ross’s words. A sentence I had seen somewhere came to mind.

My best friend is myself.

,Thank you, ‘friend’.

Ross smiled at those words.

,See you later.

With Ross’s greeting, the pure white world lost its light and sank into deep darkness.

The surrounding space changed, and it turned into the principal’s office I had seen a little while ago.

Principal Nelson-sensei, who was eating chocolate and writing something, saw me return and asked with a warm smile.

,Did you have a good time?

I smiled at the question and replied.

,I made a good friend who cheers me on.

Meeting Ross gave me the strength to take a step towards my goal.