Exploration

Bella, feeling pressured to say something at the sight of Roel sitting on the bed, stroking Ross’s hair, tried to open her mouth, but her tongue felt swollen, making it impossible to speak.

The confusing emotions, when facing Roel, became so chaotic that she wondered if she should even define them as emotions.

As Bella anxiously bit her lip, Roel suddenly broke the silence.

“Are you okay?”

“Ah… the priest and the mage said there was nothing wrong with my body when they checked. But they still don’t know why I can’t regain consciousness…”

At Bella’s words, Roel nodded and turned to meet her gaze.

“Are *you* okay?”

Hearing Roel’s voice filled with concern, Bella felt like her legs were giving out.

It was almost laughable how worried she was that Roel would blame her for what happened to Ross, when he was genuinely worried about her, as always.

Even though she didn’t deserve such kind comfort.

“Yeah… thanks to… Ross, I’m fine.”

Bella cleared her throat at her cracking voice.

“That’s a relief.”

With those words, Roel stood up and pulled Bella into his arms. The sudden rush of Roel’s scent gave Bella a strange sense of relief.

“…And I’m sorry. For leaving my post.”

“It’s not your fault. Who would have known Claire would betray me…”

Bella felt even more burdened by Roel’s sincere apology.

She felt like she wouldn’t be so weighed down by guilt if he had been angry at her or turned his back on her.

Bella couldn’t make lame excuses or ignore the situation when Roel approached her with complete sincerity.

Sincerity, at times, was the most powerful weapon to break someone’s hypocrisy. Like a beast caught in a trap, Bella couldn’t escape.

Bella belatedly realized she was crying as her vision suddenly blurred.

How pathetic.

To cowardly resort to a woman’s weapon in this situation.

Behind the guilt that filled her heart, a small sense of relief bloomed from the warmth she felt in Roel’s embrace, making her feel disgusted.

Bella raised her hands and struggled to push Roel away.

Then, she knelt down.

Roel looked at her with bewildered eyes, but Bella had no choice.

She couldn’t bear to hug Roel any longer, feeling like she had become filth. She didn’t want to taint Roel with her hands.

Thinking about it, from some point on, the misdeeds she committed against Ross were no longer for Roel’s sake, contrary to her initial intentions.

She knew it was wrong, but she turned a blind eye, wanting to prove to Roel that she wasn’t wrong.

The ugly desire to prove her necessity to Roel, who didn’t want anything from her. That brought sadness to Roel and misfortune to Ross.

Now, she had to admit that she was the beginning of all the wrongdoings… and had no choice but to accept any punishment.

“I’m sorry… I, I ruined everything…”

Bella, who had debated with countless vassals, had deep conversations with scholars, and had the gift of wrapping herself in various sentences to many people.

Now, she could only say she was sorry without any excuses.

Roel, matching her eye level by kneeling down, smiled at Bella. He wiped away the tears flowing down Bella’s cheeks and said in a gentle voice.

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of it.”

The words, “How?” swirled in her mouth, but she couldn’t bring herself to say them out loud.

“When Ross wakes up, let’s confess our wrongdoings and apologize to everyone.”

“Yeah, of course…”

Bella nodded weakly at Roel’s words. She wouldn’t be forgiven, but admitting her mistakes and apologizing, even belatedly, would be a way to atone for her sins, even if just a little.

“Don’t worry. I’ll apologize with you.”

“Huh…?”

Bella looked at Roel with bewildered eyes at the words he belatedly added.

“You did it because you were worried about me. It’s right for me to apologize with you.”

“No, no. Roel, you don’t need to apologize. This was just my own….”

Bella spoke urgently, but Roel shook his head with a bitter smile.

“Well… knowing that you’re being misunderstood, cursed, and hated by people for something you did for me… the biggest mistake I made was not correcting it because it benefited me.”

Roel frowned with a self-deprecating smile.

“Maybe I was wavering. I, who entered the academy after being recognized for my efforts alone, was receiving so much help from someone for the first time, and I wanted to indulge in that comfort, pretending not to notice.”

“I… I wanted to become someone you needed, Roel…”

“You’re already important to me. Not as the Imperial Princess, but as Bella, the person. And as my lover.”

Bella bit her lip at Roel’s sincerity. She knew from the beginning. Even if she didn’t show Roel her necessity, he wouldn’t abandon her.

Knowing that Roel was different from others, she was afraid that he would change like others. That’s why she tried to prove herself.

In the end, she realized it was her fault for not trusting Roel… Bella could feel it with a guilt that weighed down her heart.

“We’re lovers, Bella. Lovers care for each other, not a relationship where only one side sacrifices.”

Bella couldn’t hold back and shed thick tears at Roel’s words.

Roel, who had helped Bella up, turned around and looked at Roel lying on the bed.

“Let’s move Ross to the academy.”

“B-but… he’s still unconscious…”

“The academy will be safer than here. The Order’s followers must be hiding somewhere in the Imperial Palace. I can’t stay here for long either. And I have a good feeling that Headmaster Nelson might know a way to restore Ross’s consciousness.”

Roel wiped away Bella’s tears and gave her a warm smile.

“Bella, trust me. You don’t have to take all the shit alone. I can definitely become the best in the continent.”

Roel’s blue eyes shone as he whispered in Bella’s ear in a low voice.

“…You’ll always be by my side. I promise.”

***

Ross, who had been missing over the weekend, returned to the academy. In an unconscious state, no less.

Luna, who had been waiting for Ross with an uneasy heart, heard from Lacar, who used the same classroom as Ross, the next day that Professor Lycan had announced during the morning assembly that Ross was admitted to the infirmary and couldn’t attend class.

She and the other members of the group, upon hearing that Ross had been admitted to the infirmary, headed straight there as soon as the morning classes were over.

When they headed to the first floor of the main building where the infirmary was located, someone was already talking to Professor Joy, who was in charge of the infirmary.

“I’m sorry, but visits to admitted patients are only allowed after school.”

At Professor Joy’s words, Ellie pleaded, putting her hands together in front of her chest.

“Please, is it impossible to just check on his condition for a moment? It won’t even take a minute…”

“No. Rules are rules. Come back after school.”

Ellie lowered her head powerlessly at Joy’s strict words. Just as Professor Joy was about to end the conversation and return to the infirmary, Aria quickly stepped to the side and intervened in the conversation.

“Um, is Ross okay, then?”

“…Yes, Headmaster Nelson said he’ll wake up on his own in time. There’s not a single scratch on his body, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

Everyone let out a sigh of relief at those words.

“Aigo, didn’t this guy come in drunk after drinking alone somewhere?”

Kane jokingly said, along with a sigh of relief, as he had been worrying about Ross in his heart, but no one in the hallway laughed.

While Kane was awkwardly stroking his chin, Professor Joy took the opportunity to slip into the infirmary.

“Kane, please read the room.”

Aria, annoyed that she had missed Professor Joy because of Kane, frowned and glared at Kane, who shrugged.

“But he’ll wake up soon anyway. There’s no need to worry too much.”

Everyone nodded at Kane’s words. They were relieved since they heard that there was nothing wrong with his body and that he would wake up soon.

“Aish, I was worried for nothing! Let’s go eat!”

Aria, grumbling that she was worried for nothing, and Kane, agreeing with her, turned to head to the cafeteria.

“I’m glad. That nothing serious happened.”

Luna sighed and nodded at Lacar’s consolation.

“Me too.”

Luna was relieved that it was all for naught, as she had been anxious, thinking that something terrible had happened to Ross… Luna could give a satisfied smile just knowing that Ross was okay.

A voice stopped Luna as she turned to follow her group to the cafeteria.

“Um, hi. You’re Luna, right? Can I talk to you for a moment?”

At the sudden proposal, Lacar, who had been walking ahead, stopped and turned to look at Luna and Ellie.

Luna told Lacar to go to the cafeteria first, and Lacar nodded silently and started walking again.

Luna turned to subtly scan Ellie. Black hair that reached her shoulders, beautiful looks, and obsidian-like eyes made Luna feel shabby.

Ellie in front of her was undoubtedly a beauty.

Ellie’s eyes also quickly scanned Luna. As if she was done with her assessment, Ellie raised one corner of her mouth like a victor and said as if giving an order.

“Let’s move somewhere else. This isn’t the place to talk.”

Luna felt bad at Ellie’s condescending attitude, but she didn’t show it and nodded. She also had something she wanted to ask Ellie.

“Okay.”