Eternal Regression
by Afuhfuihgs
Even inhaling was painful. The split sky was blood-red, and the surrounding land was also blood-red. An invisible weight, as if crushing my soul, threatened to buckle my knees.
Why doesn’t endless pain ever become familiar? If pain could be worn down, my journey might have been easier. But all too clearly, I feel the pain of my heart being torn out every time I lose something precious.
“Hyung… Hyung….”
Lost in thought, I barely regained my senses at my brother’s weak voice and rushed to where it came from. There, Ross, his lower body gone, was struggling to look at me with half-closed eyes.
“I’m sorry, Hyung… because of me… a setting error….”
Seeing Ross apologize for his mistake while spitting blood, my emotions surged, blocking my throat. Unable to suppress them, they burst out as a sob. Tears streaming down my face, I knelt beside Ross.
“It’s okay, Ross. Just hold on a little longer. I, I… I’ll heal you somehow. Please…!”
Ross’s hand grabbed my arm as I poured magic into his missing lower body. I turned my head and met Ross’s eyes, which were endlessly sunken, and he shook his head.
“…It’s already too late. I’m being consumed by Chaos, so healing is impossible… You know that too, Hyung.”
I feel it vividly. Ross’s emotion of humbly accepting his death. Even if I want to stop it, no matter how hard I try, it flows into me against my will. That’s why I wanted to deny it even more.
“No! Not yet, not yet. I can save you. I can save you!!!”
Ross smiled quietly at me as I screamed, scattering tears. My brother, who had sacrificed everything to help me, was facing death once again.
“That’s right, Hyung… you can do it even without me. Because Hyung is… going to save everyone….”
Soaking the blackened floor with tears, I waited for Ross to finish speaking. Knowing that it was impossible.
Ross’s hand, which had been holding my arm, fell weakly to the floor. Ross’s emotions, which I had wanted to block so much, were no longer conveyed. As I had so desperately wished, I could no longer feel Ross’s presence.
“Keuheuk.”
A dry laugh escaped my lips against my will. It was a laugh dragged up from the depths of my lungs.
In the end, I failed again. I repeated the cycle of everyone dying except me. I can only helplessly watch as Chaos devours the world.
I was not a hero who saved everyone. I was just a coward who survived alone from everyone’s death.
A stupid sinner who couldn’t grow from failure and immaturely tried to save everyone.
The portal leading to the throne I had seen in my memories suddenly appeared before my eyes. Since the world is facing destruction, it must be trying to fulfill the conditions of the contract. I covered Ross’s eyelids, which I couldn’t close in the end, and stood up with difficulty.
I entered the portal, walked through the passage, and headed to the throne. As always, the being sitting on the throne, watching everything, asked me in a detached voice.
「What did you lose this time?」
That being always asked me the same question. As if trying to engrave each of my countless failures into my soul.
“Everything.”
「Do you feel like giving up now?」
At that question, I raised my head and looked at the being sitting on the throne. Everything that had died following me crushed my soul. But I could never kneel.
I swore on the mistakes created by my immaturity and arrogance. That I would never give up in any situation.
That I would receive endless punishment when everything was over.
So….
“I will never give up.”
「Then step forward again.」
The mask was thrown into the abyss of the universe. I see the passage to another world. Watching it, I endlessly vowed.
This time, this time it will be different. There were still many ways to defeat that being.
***
It has been over thousands of times that countless of my dreams have continued. I realized that it was time to admit it. I cannot defeat that being in any way.
Were the challenges so far in vain? No. I did my best in every moment. To the point that I have no regrets.
If I can’t beat the opponent, what choices can I make? What is the way to save everyone from an unbeatable opponent? I pondered for a long time.
And….
***
“Hyung, snap out of it! This is crazy!”
“No, this is the answer, Ross. This is the only way to save everyone.”
At my resolute answer, Ross shook his head with an expression of disbelief.
“This is definitely not a normal salvation!”
I gave a bitter smile at Ross’s inability to understand me. At some point, I stopped hoping for someone to understand. All that remained for me was the desire to save everyone.
“It’s enough for me alone to face destruction. You will live in a happy dream until everything is over, without knowing anything.”
I can be sure. Because it was the conclusion reached by a sinner who had destroyed thousands of worlds. I drew up magic power and created pure white wings behind my back. Some look at me in awe, others look at me like a monster.
But this is the answer. For me to become a sinner who will receive an eternally endless punishment. Hiding the heart that apologizes to everyone, I smiled.
“Everyone, let’s become one with me.”
“Hyung…!!!”
Ignoring Ross’s desperate cry, I spread out my hands. And the world was dyed pure white.
That’s how everything ended. I embraced everything with life, both villains and good people, into myself.
The world that had been dyed pure white turned black as if reversed.
This is because everything except where I am has been consumed by Chaos.
That didn’t matter. No matter what happens to the world created by God, everyone inside me is living happily in the utopia I created.
Thus, the time of the eternal sinner flowed by. I spent countless hours remembering and not forgetting any flow of time.
One day, while trapped in the moment of eternity and an instant, a voice that should not be heard reached my ears.
“Roel…?”
Ross’s voice, which should definitely be inside me, was heard from outside.
The muscles that hadn’t been used for a while made a loud noise, and the body that had changed over time was uncomfortable, but that wasn’t important. I said in a hurried voice.
[Ross…? Is that you, Ross…?]
“…Is that really you, Hyung? What… what the hell happened to you, Hyung.”
I was flustered. Did something go wrong? I checked the inside again. Ross was living happily inside me. He had Luna and several children, and he had resolved his inferiority complex, so we often went fishing together.
But Ross was clearly in front of me as well. I don’t know what the situation is, but I have to save my brother first.
[Why are you there…? It’s dangerous outside.]
“Dangerous…?”
Of course it’s dangerous. If that being finds out, Ross will die as he has always done.
[Come here, let’s become one again.]
I reached out my hand, but Ross ran away for some reason. I was wondering if I should explain it calmly, when I felt Chaos awakening far away.
Becoming desperate, I tried to grab Ross with all my might. But an invisible something blocked the space between me and Ross. Could Chaos have already intervened?
I screamed and desperately reached out to save Ross.
[No! Ross, let’s be together. You can have the happiness you want for the rest of your life.]
Ross lived a truly happy life inside me. Even another Ross would surely live a happy life.
But whether my sincerity was not conveyed, Ross looked at me and made a determined expression after seeing the portal that suddenly appeared behind him.
[Ross, Ross…!!!]
I hurriedly called his name to stop him, but Ross had already thrown himself into the portal. I blankly stared at the disappeared Ross and returned to my original spot.
It can’t be helped. I had a world of everyone to protect. I repeated the thought that I must not miss Ross next time.
***
Kudangtang-!
Suddenly moved in front of the throne, I fell to the floor without knowing why.
「The time of the eons has ended, and the world has finally perished naturally. Now it is time to fulfill the contents of the eternal contract.」
I belatedly realized at the being’s words. The existence of everyone inside me had disappeared. But the happiness they felt remained intact inside me like a memory.
Yes, this is the answer. To create an ideal world where everyone can be happy.
I just have to sacrifice myself. I just have to endure destruction while feeling hundreds of millions of years. In the meantime, everyone inside me achieved their dreams and spent an eternal life.
This is the way to save everyone from an opponent that can never be defeated.
「Do you still intend to continue?」
“Yes, I told you. I don’t give up.”
「I would like to ask the reason why you don’t give up.」
There is only one reason. A word that is simple and can fully express my existence.
“Because I’m a hero.”
I felt the being sitting on the throne laugh at my answer. He was genuinely enjoying himself and watching me as if observing me.
Even at the being’s laughter, I just blankly waited for him to throw the mask so that I could move on to the next world.
.
.
.
「This is the true cycle.」
「The birth of Eternal Regression.」
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