episode_0529

After I got up from my seat, I went straight to Hermann.

He was holed up in a corner of the castle, looking anxious.

‘You look just like a scared hamster.’

If it was natural, it was natural.

“···Are you okay?”

He didn’t seem to know that I was close by, so he raised his head quickly.

The startled eyes slowly calmed down.

“······What on earth was that?”

“Science is one of the magics that anyone can handle.”

‘What should I say?’

He had to go to the Crown Prince with his supply of hallucinations.

But in that bombardment, all the hallucinations were blown away.

Furthermore, looking at the cruelty and beliefs of that war veteran, he would never have left Hallucination alive.

‘Is it right to say this?’

Take a moment to think about it.

Hermann got lucky first.

“I guess I have some business to do.”

“···As you can see, all the members of the hallucination are dead.”

I glanced up at Hermann.

“Sorry, but there is no way to claim your innocence.”

“···Can’t we say for sure that all are hallucinations?”

It was a skeptical opinion.

I decided to stay by my side and help James in case he was in danger.

It seems like you had a very special relationship with him.

‘I wish I had a friend like this.’

If he were my friend.

I would have led my friends down the right path even if they ended up hating me.

“First of all, I want Dantalian’s agents to know that death does not mean the end.”

“···What do you mean?”

“James was seeking revenge on you. To me and to the hallucination that brainwashed you.”

An expression appeared on Hermann’s defensively hidden face.

Fear and denial. I hope I don’t say anything.

“He dealt with the hallucinations with his colleague. Also, they targeted me. That is the tragedy we experienced.”

“······What?”

I explained to him what I had experienced.

Jackie Chan’s death. James came aboard Craxxmara.

Hermann listened to me in silence.

“···Someone used my death to kill you? James was eaten by Craxxmara?”

“Don’t worry. Their souls were handed over to Dantalian. He will be reborn somewhere on the continent of Pangea.”

The two used explosives.

Of course, they probably hoped that outsiders would not be involved in the shelling.

Because the time they lived was when World War I was going on.

─Even so, it is a forest.

Assuming the worst is a very basic behavior for a soldier who puts his life on the line.

“He had planned to die with me from the beginning.”

That sounds unpleasant.

From Hermann’s point of view, it’s impossible to know the true intention.

But Hermann was not angry.

I was just curious.

‘He is a virtuous person.’

“···Why do you say that to me?”

“I know that you are staying with me to protect James.”

“······.”

“There is no need for that anymore, so start a new life.”

‘People like you shouldn’t be on a floor like this.’

The world changes.

If you can’t chase after that world, your life will be short and meaningless.

I took out a piece of paper and wrote on it.

─FUCK YOU JAMES.

“James will recognize you right away when he reads this.”

Hermann glanced at the word ‘FUCK’ uncomfortably.

The look in his eyes was full of disbelief.

“···What does this mean?”

“Sex in order. you. James. In other words, I’ll fuck you, James. It means:”

“······Phew!”

Hermann raised the corners of his mouth and accepted the paper.

He had a relaxed expression.

“···There’s nothing left for me.”

“Family, money, technology, ideology… everything that is formed, whether material or concept, will someday fall. So, you shouldn’t live by looking at the past. Keep creating and do your best.”

I stood up.

Einstein said:

The happiest way to live life is to make small fortunes.

People like this shouldn’t live like me.

“···As empty as you are, a happy day will surely come one day.”

I could tell.

Because I did that too.

* * * * * *

Damian and Stella were staying in one room.

‘I’m nervous for no reason.’

I tried to knock on the door, but I couldn’t.

Because I was afraid.

‘···What if you blame me?’

My heart is beating wildly.

In the end, I couldn’t even knock on the door.

We prepared many words and greetings for the aftermath, but an incident occurred.

They will definitely be afraid of me and get defensive.

But are you saying that I am your older brother who broke up with me 23 years ago?

‘It’s a catastrophe!’

Just thinking about it makes me picture their faces turning cold!

Moreover, they probably both know that I’m dead!

─Then why haven’t you come here all this time?! Do you know what we went through?!

─My brother abandoned us!

─How sad were your mother and father?! What are we going to do with the 23 years we lost?!

I seem to be hearing hallucinations of Stella and Damien.

─It’s scary.

I was more afraid than ever.

I felt dizzy.

In the end, I let go and cleared my breath.

‘You say you were chosen by a servant and were transplanted with the memories of an alien from another world?’

That’s nothing more than an excuse.

In the end, it was my wrong choice.

You should apologize, not make excuses.

‘Can I be forgiven?’

I am···.

Wouldn’t it be shameless to even ask for forgiveness?

I’m afraid it might ruin the relationship even more.

I like it─

Before I could even make up my mind.

The door opened by itself on its own.

“I’ll ask and come back. Just a little bit─”

Sigh!

Stella, whose face is buried in my chest, steps back in embarrassment.

But wait for a while.

“Hey. Where are we? Why did you bring us here?”

Stella looked angry.

There was a sudden sense of fear in those eyes.

I’m trying to explain, but I’m speechless.

My breath is suffocating as my eyes demand an answer.

As time passes like taffy.

“This is Gestier, the capital of Habstenburg.”

I ended up choosing the easy path.

“···Yes?”

“I heard that you had an unfortunate experience.”

Just two words.

Now I realize there is no turning back.

“After receiving news that the family of Abel de Arthur, former commander of the Royal Knights, was kidnapped, I was dispatched to rescue you.”

Stella looked up at me, and then her eyes widened.

“Ah…! Are you the one who saved us?!”

“Yes. Are you hurt anywhere?”

Damian approaches me and sweeps me aside.

He looked quite angry.

“Why on earth did you kidnap us?!”

“···Are you aware of the current situation in Habstenburg?”

“You know. The country is on the verge of collapse.”

thank god.

“This is all a conspiracy by the Republicans to take advantage of the fact that Sir Arthur and Edward D. Habstenburg are close friends.”

“···In the end, is it because of my father again?!”

Damian’s anger made my body tremble as if I had been struck by lightning.

Because I realized my mistake.

“No. Isn’t someone who kidnaps people to satisfy their own selfish desires bad?”

I tried to pick it up, but two pairs of eyes turned to me.

The look in your eyes as if asking why you are meddling.

A crushing sense of reality came over me in those eyes.

─It was like that.

Now my younger siblings and I are strangers.

In the end, ‘Rian’ will also be nothing more than a stranger.

‘···What would happen if I revealed it now?’

Stella probably doesn’t even remember my face.

Even Damien, who was twelve, would have forgotten about me.

Even if I tell him that I am his older brother… it will only make him uncomfortable.

“···Sorry for the inconvenience. We will see you off so you can return home.”

My heart is shaking.

Because of me, they both started hating their father even more.

I didn’t steal a child from his parents.

─Three children were taken away.

“···Please rest comfortably while we prepare for your homecoming.”

Out of fear and guilt, I wanted to hide in a mouse hole.

The moment I turned around and left the room as if running away.

“Rian?”

Rita, smiling and holding a meal in her arms, approached me.

“You! You really did it…! I saved your younger siblings again like before!”

“······!”

“Come in! Damien and Stella are also in the room!”

Damien and Stella were captivated by an unfamiliar yet powerful word.

I couldn’t bear to look behind me. I was afraid because I didn’t know what expressions the two of them would have.

My legs are shaking.

I pretended not to notice and passed by Rita.

“Rian…?”

If I were Dantalian’s agent, I wouldn’t be this scared.

If that were the case, I would have been able to face him directly and give him an answer.

For the first time, I missed that damned power.

* * * * * *

The palace park.

I was sitting at an outdoor table for visitors and drinking.

It was Isabelle who approached me like that.

“You don’t like alcohol.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Then why do you eat it?”

“···Don’t many people say that drinking alcohol makes them feel better?”

I turned away from Isabelle’s gaze, which was examining me.

“So I wanted to try it once.”

“···I guess it didn’t work out well?”

Isabelle sat opposite me and looked at me.

…I was about to complain to someone.

“I thought I could at least disappear.”

I masturbated, saying it was a world where death was common.

“···But it wasn’t.”

Gulp gulp…

I drank a full glass of wine.

The alcohol still didn’t taste good, and I didn’t know why I was drinking it.

Wouldn’t it be possible to find out why if you eat more?

With that in mind, I filled my glass.

“When I disappeared, both children left their parents.”

Why doesn’t my father hate me?

Why did I ask Boksu to take something precious from Harold to commemorate me?

I never imagined it, but now I know.

‘Because I am a child.’

I feel like I’m drowning in love as wide as the ocean.

If you haven’t had children, you can’t even guess.

“I… stole all three children from my parents.”

That’s why the feeling of guilt was overwhelming.

Just as scientists are fiercely warning of a climate crisis.

‘Why do I feel like I’m not an adult yet?’

I was imagining something convenient.

An imagination that visits a harmonious family like a blue bird.

The reality was that there was just a broke family with no place to sit.

“So what do you want to do?”

“···I have to send him home.”

‘As expected, imagination and reality are different.’

I took a drink with a promise.

But it’s still usable.

‘What on earth are you doing?’

I spilled the alcohol, which I still don’t know what it tastes like, into the garden.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to drink alcohol again.”

‘You’re eating poison made from bacterial excrement.’

In the end, being drunk is no different from getting drunk.

After a long time, I felt like going ‘home’.

“Do you miss me?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

“I miss my family.”

“Which family do you miss?”

“Jeon Si-hyeon.”

“Do you want to go back?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going back?”

“No.”

The alcohol content ends here.

I got up.

“Where would you go and leave your loved ones behind?”

Because you can’t always live life successfully.

I kissed Isabelle’s forehead.

The moment I was passing by her like that.

“Where are you going to leave your loved ones behind?”

Isabel smiles humorously.

Damian and Stella were standing against the wall, looking at me.