episode_0408

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First of all, it wasn’t that I wasn’t feeling good.

Saying it in a string of negatives makes even me a little confused, but anyway, it just meant that the pleasure of masturbating had lessened—though it still felt good.

The problem was this so-called pleasure…

Compared to before, it was definitely different.

When I rolled my nipples gently with my fingers, I used to get these sharp, tingling sensations now and then, but now it just feels kind of bland.

Normally, when I kneaded around my clit, I’d cover my face with a pillow in case any embarrassing noises slipped out, but lately, I don’t even feel the need to do that.

If I made up my mind not to make a sound, I’d just shudder up to my shoulders at most when I came, and more often than not, I’d finish without a single moan.

…Yeah. Well, maybe this kind of thing happens.

I’m already 21.

Counting the years, it’s been over five since I first learned about dirty stuff and started masturbating.

It’s possible I’ve just gotten tired of it.

But brushing it off like that didn’t sit right with me because of something that had happened recently.

Since it was just a few days ago, the timing felt oddly coincidental.

“…Ugh, seriously…”

I did something stupid next to that stupid couple.

Something really, really stupid.

Anyway, the thought that it was stupid hasn’t changed.

But that it felt way, way better than usual… …I won’t deny that.

So maybe the reason masturbating isn’t satisfying now is because I’m missing that sense of deviance and thrill from back then.

I’d had similar thoughts at the pension, so piecing it together wasn’t hard.

But the more I thought about it, keywords like “deviance” or “thrill” felt a little unconvincing.

The current situation was proof enough.

Even if I unlocked the door and masturbated while gradually increasing the chance of getting caught by my parents, would it feel as good as it did then?

Wouldn’t I just get nervous and lock the door again?

I could force myself to push through, but since this was just me overthinking, it’d only drain my energy in the end.

Admitting defeat, I moved on to the next possible cause that came to mind.

…And there was one. Right away.

When I pressed down on my vaginal opening with my fingers, it felt really good—unlike usual.

I didn’t even go deep, just teased around the entrance a little.

For the first time in my life, I squirted enough to soak the thigh I was lying on.

“…But now…”

Even if I did the same thing, it wasn’t like that at all.

It was the same spot.

The same fingers.

The same pressure while touching myself.

But I couldn’t find even a trace of that same feeling.

All I got was the thought, How the hell does this even work? and a faint flicker of pleasure.

So then, what’s the difference between me now, kneading my nipples and panting, and me back then, desperately pretending to sleep?

As I spent time ruling out factors like location, situation, and so on—

“…….”

It felt awkward to recall it again.

I wanted to ignore it, like I always had.

But the more I doubted, the more that memory felt undeniably real.

It kept surfacing in my mind.

…That,

By accident.

I saw it.

Not my boyfriend’s.

…Another guy’s.

“…Ngh, ……haah…”

Maybe because it was right after having sex with Hayun,

That thing, slick with fluids, twitching and trembling.

The reason he’d once asked me for advice, saying he was struggling because his sex drive was too strong.

I think I get it now.

From just the size alone, to the veins bulging out.

It was completely… …different from my boyfriend’s.

That thing.

“………. Haa… hah…”

Along with the memory I wanted to forget, I gently stroked my entrance before grabbing the pillow beside me and pressing it hard against my lips.

How much time passed?

With my head feeling like it had been painted white, I arched my back.

Under the pillow smothering my face, my breasts—marked all over from how much I’d groped them—rose and fell rapidly, out of breath.

A clear liquid spilled lightly onto the towel I’d half-heartedly laid out—splish, splurt.

It was nothing compared to what happened at the pension, but there was definitely more than usual.

An orgasm that didn’t just end at feeling good—one that wrung out every last drop of pleasure.

The post-nut clarity was brutal.

I wanted to die of embarrassment.

But compared to just masturbating normally…

…There was no comparison.

“…Ah, fuck. This is so humiliating…”

For now, this seemed the closest to the answer.

But it was too soon to jump to conclusions.

There was still something I needed to check.

I was painfully aware of how weird and uncomfortable it was to masturbate while thinking about another girl’s boyfriend’s genitals.

But the reason I’d recalled it wasn’t because it was my friend’s boyfriend’s genitals.

It was because it was my friend’s boyfriend’s big genitals.

If I framed it that way, there was at least some room for explanation.

Not that I could say it out loud anywhere, but at least the moral discomfort of masturbating while thinking about my friend’s boyfriend was resolved.

…Though, I’ve been trying not to watch porn lately, but back when I didn’t know this would happen, I used to look up all kinds of dirty videos.

And among them, there were quite a few—no, a lot—that featured guys with big dicks.

Plus, ever since that time I slipped in the rain and ended up touching it, I’d been low-key fixated on the memory…

After that, I kept fantasizing during masturbation, so as much as I hated to admit it, my tastes seemed to lean that way a little.

Anyway, there was one very simple way to resolve this embarrassing situation.

It was something I’d thought about a few days ago, too, while pretending to sleep and eavesdropping on those two’s secret rendezvous.

“……Ngh.”

Just… get one for myself.

Something to replace this awkward situation.

A decent dildo.

…And just in case he might compare himself to it.

Make sure Baek Jiho

never finds out.

Several days had passed since the trip with Hayun and Seol Dabin.

Not that it meant much, but it was Saturday.

After making some time to go out, I let out an irritated sigh in front of a crowded crosswalk.

I wish it could just be winter all year.

Maybe Ejiyoon’s powers could make that happen.

“Sigh…”

The second double date with Seol Dabin had ended on a weird note.

No major gains, but nothing lost either.

Since the opportunity had come up, I’d tried to get closer to Seol Dabin in various ways, but it wasn’t as easy as I’d thought.

Not that I’d expected a threesome from the start, but it felt like things stayed too businesslike until the very end.

Of course, I knew that was the natural flow of things.

Seol Dabin and I had only built up a slight rapport—if I had to dryly describe our relationship, I was just her friend’s boyfriend, and she was just my girlfriend’s friend.

Honestly, looking at it coldly, the fact that something even happened between me and Seol Dabin was more than I could’ve asked for.

But human greed knows no bounds, I guess.

There’s a saying about not expecting too much too soon,

but honestly, everyone hopes for it anyway.

“Sigh…”

The heat made just standing outside unbearable.

I’d have preferred a cool rain, but of course, the road stretching far ahead just sat there, silently scorching.

Merging into the crowd crossing the street, I stepped into the café right in front of me.

Maybe because our group was large,

a few glances turned our way before quickly scattering.

“Haaa… So hot… You’re paying, right, Sua? Right?”

“…Uh, well… I have my card…”

“Don’t worry. I can afford coffee.”

“Ooh. Flaunting your wealth… Capable noona…”

“Shut up, Yozora.”

She’d been all happy next to Yozora just a minute ago,

but the moment we stepped outside, her attitude turned icy. Wasn’t she embarrassed?

Remembering Baek Seoyeon’s reddened ears and the way she’d been lying face-down about an hour ago, I shrugged and looked away.

Maybe because the four of us had once lazed around until we were exhausted, Baek Seoyeon, Yozora, and even Hansua in between—

the three had gotten surprisingly close without me noticing.

I heard that during the festival, whenever Seoyeon was free, Yozora had taken the lead in dragging the two of them around to different drink stalls.

That probably played a part too.

Two villains hiding their identities, with one innocent girl caught between them.

With a combo like that, I wondered if one of them would eventually whisk Hansua away without anyone knowing.

But Hansua didn’t seem like the type to get involved in anything bad.

Still, that was a problem for the distant future.

With that meaningless thought, I finished ordering.

Since it was a café near a busy area, there were quite a few customers, but thankfully, not enough to leave us without seats.

Second floor of the café. I plopped down at a random table and casually set down my vibrating pager and phone.

And then—

Yozora, who’d taken the seat next to me, pulled her chair closer and asked,

“So, how far have you gotten?”

A few days ago—

Right after finishing the double date and heading home,

I’d gotten a short message from Yozora.

She wasn’t particularly close with Hayun, a second-year, but she’d gotten her contact info and personal details through Baek Seoyeon at some point.

So I’d saved it in my phone, then mostly forgotten about it.

But that day, after Yozora noticed Hayun’s profile picture had changed,

a question popped up.

– The other girl in this picture. She’s really pretty.

– You’re after her too, aren’t you?

– Is that why you went on that trip you mentioned?

When I asked why she thought that, she hit me with, Because you’re a pervert who only thinks with your dick—a pretty solid argument.

I hadn’t planned on hiding it anyway, so there was no reason not to tell her.

I admitted she was right, that I was interested, and that the girl already had a boyfriend.

And now, today.

Cooling off under the AC, I shook my head and answered.

“Right now, we’re just acquaintances.”

“…Hmm. I thought you’d just jump her and start with sex as soon as you met…”

“You think I’m insane or something…”

Well, actually, Yozora kind of fit that description herself.

Not sure if she’d planned it, but she wore a mischievous smile as she cut me off.

Then, Hansua and Baek Seoyeon chimed in from the side.

“Is she your new girlfriend?”

“…You’re such an animal. Seriously.”

Hansua’s pure reaction was one thing,

but Baek Seoyeon’s voice had a definite edge to it.

Probably because it was so hot outside today, so I should at least watch my words around Seoyeon.

“Ah, right. From the picture I saw last time, she kinda gave off Seoyeon’s vibe? A little like Sua, too.”

“Well, both of them here—and Seol Dabin—are my type. So it makes sense they’d be similar.”

“Hmmm~ So you like faces like Sua and Seoyeon’s…”

After making eye contact with me while talking, Yozora turned to look at Baek Seoyeon with a meaningful remark.

Soon after, Seoyeon threatened to stab Yozora’s eyes out if she kept staring, and just then, the pager from the counter started vibrating.

Hansua offered to go down and get it, but I stood up first and told her to stay seated.

Better for me to go than to make her feel like she was running errands alone.

On my way down the stairs to the first floor—

“One grande americano, please.”

“Iced, right?”

“Yes.”

I spotted a familiar face.

With a pitch-black mask covering it in this heat,

I only recognized her after hearing her voice.