episode_0397

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The final stop of our date was a nearby pub.

After compiling a list of a few places and visiting them in order of proximity, we found one with available seating right away and quickly headed inside.

The moment we stepped past the threshold, the spicy, smoky aroma of grilled meat hit us, along with the lively chatter of patrons.

Amidst the bustle, a server approached and asked, “Table for four?”

Caught up in the chaotic atmosphere, we nodded and were soon seated around a still-warm table—likely just vacated by another group.

Given how packed it was, this place must be popular. Even after we settled in, more customers kept streaming in behind us.

Seems my friends’ recommendations were spot-on when they raved about this place.

After wetting my lips with the water Seo Woojin handed me, I skimmed the menu.

Had it just been me and Baek Jiho on a date, things might’ve been different, but since drinking wasn’t our sole purpose tonight, this place also served proper dinner options.

Beyond just cheese, ham, or gambas, the menu featured dishes like suyuk jeongol (boiled pork hot pot), dwaeji duruchigi (spicy stir-fried pork), and kimchi jjigae (kimchi stew).

The meaty scent that had greeted us at the entrance was probably from the duruchigi.

Anyway, if I had to pick something to order…

“So, what would you like?”

“Why aren’t you asking me?”

“Because I already know your taste, dumbass.”

“I’m fine with anything. You pick.”

“I mean… anything’s fine with me too?”

So it’s come to this.

Honestly, “anything” is the hardest thing to choose.

In situations like this, the safest bet is whatever everyone else is eating—probably the duruchigi.

After ordering that along with some stew and drinks, I excused myself to the restroom the moment the server left.

Nothing major—just washing my hands before the meal.

And to sort out my thoughts.

“Haaah…”

A double date.

Disguised reconnaissance, unfortunately, ended in failure.

Now, all that’s left is to gently console Baek Jiho, who’s developed a complex, without hurting him further.

It’s the only way, but honestly, I’m not sure if it’s the right way.

Should I call it a Voldemort situation?

Given how even indirect mentions of that day have been avoided since the incident, it must’ve been an extremely unpleasant memory for Jiho.

But if I bluntly reassure him now, would he even believe it’s genuine?

Wouldn’t he just think I’m saying it out of guilt?

And if we were to have sex in that state…

Would it even feel good?

Wouldn’t it be worse than not doing it at all?

I sighed, watching the water cascade over my hands.

“…It’s complicated. So complicated.”

When we were younger, his quiet, stoic demeanor sometimes made him seem cool.

Maybe if we’d fooled around behind our parents’ backs back then, things wouldn’t have turned out like this.

But now, dwelling on pointless what-ifs, I started lathering my hands with soap.

That’s just how ifs are…

Thinking further, even if we had done something back then, the chances of me and Jiho crossing that line wouldn’t have been any higher.

We weren’t related by blood, but he was as close as a real brother.

Baek Jiho, the boy next door, always had that kind of image.

Not in a “taboo allure” way—just as a fact.

We’d hang out at each other’s houses whenever possible, play innocently, then go home. Mhm.

Well, since we’d seen each other almost daily since elementary school, it was inevitable we’d end up feeling like siblings.

Maybe that’s why he’s never asked me for anything lewd all this time.

And that’s also why, occasionally, I wonder:

What if Baek Jiho and I hadn’t spent over a decade together?

What if we’d met for the first time at the academy, for instance?

…Then we’d have broken up in a flash. No question.

His occasional frustrating habits would’ve made us last less than a month.

No, scratch that—half a month would’ve been pushing it.

I mean, he still hasn’t fixed habits I’ve been nagging him about for ten years.

“……”

But I do like him.

We have years of friendship.

Of all the guys I know, Jiho is the most familiar, the most comfortable.

I could see myself living like this with him forever.

We’d probably get married someday.

Have cute kids with the surname Baek.

That’s the vague future I imagine.

I definitely LIKE him.

I enjoy being with him.

Stealing bites of his food is fun.

Ignoring his grumbles about me being heavy and still lying on his stomach while we scroll through our phones together.

Feeding him homemade buldak sauce chocolate on Valentine’s Day and watching his reaction.

Showing up on time only for his mom to say he’s still asleep, then barging into his room and kicking his blanket-covered lump awake.

I don’t dislike any of it.

But as a couple, the most important thing—

That one thing—

Was always a little…

Ambiguous.

Because I never saw him as a man.

More like a comfortable big brother.

An occasionally annoying big brother.

A fun-to-tease big brother.

Exactly like a real brother.

The fact that he was… smaller than expected was secondary.

Doing that with someone who feels like a brother…

Isn’t exactly normal.

“…Ugh.”

…Is this a slump?

I keep having weird thoughts.

Ah, whatever.

I’ll just get him drunk again this time and try to erase the trauma.

After rinsing off the remaining soap, I dried my hands lightly and returned to the table.

“…You’re really strong with alcohol. How are you not even flushed?”

“It’s just the surface. Only the surface.”

“Liar… Are you detoxing it because you’re a healer?”

“No. My body does heal on its own, but if I drink too much, even I black out. I’m barely holding on right now.”

“…Hmm…”

An hour and a half had already passed since we entered the pub.

Dinner was long finished. After taking a sip while glancing at Seo Woojin, I carefully set my glass down to avoid dropping my chopsticks.

Caught up in the lively atmosphere, we kept clinking glasses—and before I knew it, empty bottles were piled under the table.

Just by eye, there were at least five bottles of soju and a similar amount of beer.

Personally, I have a high alcohol tolerance, so for four people, this amount was just enough to get pleasantly buzzed…

But the problem is that two of those four were already knocked out.

Ha Yoon, nodding off beside Seo Woojin, and—

Here. Baek Jiho, exhaling a long “Phew…” next to me. These two.

They tapped out by the second bottle of soju, leaving the rest to me and Woojin…

…Earlier, Woojin had asked if I wasn’t disappointed to end so soon.

Asked if I wasn’t much of a drinker.

I should’ve ignored him.

Had I known he could hold his liquor this well, I wouldn’t have pointlessly competed like I did at the arcade.

“What’s your usual limit?”

“About three bottles of soju if I pace myself. Two if I chug.”

“Three’s manageable, but…”

“You don’t look that stable right now.”

“It’s a condition thing. A condition thing… And you? You look like you could handle four, maybe even five bottles easily.”

“I guess alcohol’s hitting me well today.”

“…Liar. With your build, you must drink like a beast…”

“That’s a bit of a stereotype. I’ve seen smaller people outdrink bigger ones.”

“I don’t know. I give up. I forfeit… I’m done…”

What’s the best way to put it? Not the most flattering comparison, but it feels like I got scammed in a rigged bet.

Setting down my half-finished beer, I sniffed the alcohol on my skin and turned to check on Jiho first.

He’s weak to alcohol but knows his limits, so at least he wasn’t completely wasted.

“Hey. Get up. We should head out soon…”

“…Ugh, damn… I am up… My stomach’s churning…”

“Want to go throw up in the restroom?”

“…I’ll hold off. If it gets worse, then…”

“Don’t puke on the subway. Go now.”

“I’ll help.”

As I pressed Jiho, who was being indecisive, Seo Woojin—after downing the last of his drink—stood up to assist.

Look at that. Claiming we have similar alcohol tolerance when he drinks like that? Total lie.

But since we weren’t betting anything, I guess it was just a mischievous joke.

Next time, I won’t fall for it.

“I’ll keep an eye on Ha Yoon, then… Could you handle this?”

“Just lean on my shoulder… Yeah, loop your arm around my neck like that…”

With Jiho in tow, Woojin trudged off toward the restroom.

Leaving just me and Ha Yoon amidst the noisy pub.

Moving to sit right beside her, I grabbed her shoulder and gently shook her awake.

“Ha Yoon… Time to go home…”

“…Mnn…”

Her nodding suggested she was at least somewhat conscious.

Last time we drank with friends, she had about this much too. Seems like this is her limit.

Then again, sitting next to Woojin, she probably held back.

Come to think of it, I was also moderating Jiho’s drinks earlier.

Which made me wonder—was that guy planning to get Ha Yoon wasted tonight? A stupid thought, but—

“……”

Blame the alcohol.

Swear it’s the alcohol.

Remembering what Ha Yoon had confessed in front of friends a few weeks ago, I glanced toward the restroom where the two had disappeared, then spoke up.

“…Hey, Ha Yoon?”

“…Yeah…?”

My voice dropped to a near-whisper.

Even with my hand cupped near her ear like I was sharing a secret, the pub’s noise might’ve drowned it out.

But thankfully, she seemed to hear me, so I continued.

“…You said you’ve, uh… had sex with your boyfriend, right?”

“Why bring that up…?”

“No, no, I just wanted to ask something.”

“…Oh. What…?”

It’s because we’re both in relationships.

Because the guys aren’t here.

Because you’re my close friend.

A dozen excuses flashed through my mind in case she got suspicious, but luckily, I didn’t need them.

So, one last question—

“When you have sex…, …um…”

“Feeling better now?”

“Yeah… Ugh…”

“…Ah, never mind. Just wondering if you do it often with your boyfriend. Yeah.”

“Often…? Yeah? It feels really good, so…?”

The moment I was about to ask, Woojin and Jiho returned from the restroom.

Patting Ha Yoon’s head—who now had a visible question mark floating above hers—I tried to calm my pounding heart.

…The question changed,

But the answer was satisfying enough.

If she does it often because it feels good…

…Then that’s enough.

The curiosity that had been gnawing at me since yesterday—

Was completely resolved.

“Should we head out? I’ll handle the bill, and we can settle up later…”

“Y-Yeah…”

Absently pressing the back of my hand to my cheek, I helped Ha Yoon—now as limp as melted ice cream—outside, pretending nothing had happened.

“Hic… …Sniff… Haaah……”

“…Sigh.”

…As for the plan I had carefully prepared—

Jiho, exhausted, started snoring on the subway, so…

I’ll just have to wait for the next opportunity.

“…Sigh.”

Come Monday, I should ask Woojin what he wanted to consult me about.

…It’s probably nothing too serious, right?