episode_0356

“Hello?”

A snow-white room filled with countless large monitors.

I awoke there.

I couldn’t possibly count how many monitors there were. They ranged in size from as small as a smartphone to as large as a building’s exterior billboard.

If you thought it was an appliance store, ignoring the scale, it wasn’t that strange a sight. Rather, it was something that could realistically exist.

They don’t line up multiple FHD monitors and display colorful pictures to show off how good the picture quality is, do they? Photos of koi carp leaping from the water, with water droplets flying all over the place.

“Mmm… ignore…?”

But, the mountain of monitors was bound to be strange. Bound to be bizarre and grotesque. It’s fine to say it was unsettling.

The images displayed on the monitors weren’t dynamic photos of koi carp. They were videos. That doesn’t mean koi carp videos.

The videos on the monitors, what the cameras were recording at the time of filming, were none other than me.

Narita Flora Knife Lanz. On a small screen, footage of her dozing off during an academy class played; on a large screen, footage of her happily dating her wives played.

-Unni… that’s why I told you to get some sleep early…

-I want Tang Hu Lu too, Tang Hu Lu! Only Eve gets them, it’s unfair!

-Um, it’s almost my work shift… Ah, no! Absolutely not that I want to stop our date… um, that is… I, rather… more…

There’s no way I could forget those things. Even if I erased my name from my head, I would never, ever forget those happy scenes.

“That’s how it’s going to be… then how about this?”

Beep-

The scene changed along with a mechanical sound. But something remained unchanged.

The fact that I was the protagonist of the video.

-Manager, are you free tonight? No, it’s nothing important. I just haven’t been feeling well lately… I thought I’d treat you to some good food. You can always rely on this Noona sometimes.

-I-I’m sorry, Manager… That wasn’t my intention… that customer kept making strange demands… sob, I’m sorry… because of me…

-What? Not using your tactic today? You’ve been online all day, I thought you were diligently grinding because of the new update. Tell me if you need anything. I still haven’t filled my contribution quota for this week.

It wasn’t Narita. It was me from my past life. The younger boyfriend of the barbecue restaurant owner, the dependable manager of the part-timers, and the well-liked anonymous ranker known to any Akasto community user.

The screen displaying that video was quite small. It was a scene that could never be reenacted, a slightly bittersweet memory, and something I’d rather forget if possible.

“Oh, so you’ve finally decided to talk to me.”

I looked at the creature that had been making noise this whole time.

A straight nose, porcelain skin, and shiny long black hair. A pure white dress and a tiara studded with jewels.

Her hands and feet moved as if she didn’t give a damn about anyone else’s feelings, and even that became a kind of sword dance that caught my eye. Such refined movements.

The girl approaching me with a smirk was, again, me.

Or perhaps something else that resembled my appearance.

“That’s not it. You are me, you know.”

My last hope shattered. The flimsy hope that killing just one of these ridiculous lolitas and everything would be over.

“Otherwise… how would you have gotten to this ‘Starting Room’? Numerous Outsiders… right, in that world, they’re usually called demons.”

“…”

“Could you possibly have killed all the countless demons and reached this place, the center of it all? If you were an ordinary human.”

The me in front of me slowly walks around me. It felt like she was circling me, examining me. No, she actually was. I could feel her heart.

“Then, from the beginning again… Hello? Nice to meet you.”

To add, from the moment I opened my eyes until now, I haven’t been able to move a single step. I couldn’t even open my mouth. I just watched what was reflected in my pupils, thought, and stood there like a scarecrow.

“I am the beginning and end of everything, the first and the last.”

There’s only one reason: the master of this realm hasn’t permitted it yet.

“Light and darkness, time and space, order and chaos.”

Paradoxically, I could move. If I wanted to, I could instantly land an uppercut on that little brat’s chin.

But I couldn’t. No, I didn’t.

“Birth and death, love and hate, matter and phenomena.”

It was none other than me who prevented me from moving.

“I am this universe. Some call me Azathoth, and others call me Nari.”

“…”

“Long time no see, my clone. Kukuk—No… Do you like being called that?”

Kwaak-

I clenched my fist tightly.

“Fake.”

. . .

“…Where are the kids?”

“Mmm… how should I answer to make you happiest? Ah, I’ve got it!”

I turned my head to look around. There’s nothing but a white background and countless monitors. In this room, only Azathoth existed, and the viewer was also only her. Of course, its creator, director, and the player controlling the character beyond the screen were also only her.

“I’ll leave it to your judgment.”

“You wouldn’t have… harmed them, would you?”

“I’m leaving it to your judgment, you know? Kukuk—”

Azathoth turns around and sits in front of a monitor. On a high-end gaming chair, its origin unknown. She rests her back on the seat cushion instead of her buttocks, and her neck on the backrest. It was a very bad posture.

Just like me when I’m watching Netflix.

I strode forward and pulled the chair.

“…What is your purpose?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You called me here.”

“I didn’t? You’re suffering from an ego problem. Do you think someone would care that much about you? It’s not that, not really, hahat.”

Wearing blue-light blocking glasses of unknown origin, sipping an iced tea of unknown origin, she continues to watch my reflection on the monitor. She was enjoying it.

“Wow… I really thought I was going to die back then. I had a hole in my stomach, but I was so drained of energy that I didn’t even feel any pain. Wasn’t that the case?”

“…”

“Well, if you ask if I’d go through it again, I can answer instantly. Yes, I would. And then right after that, I’ll quickly go to Aspi and—”

Something was wrong. This… this isn’t right. Is the one in front of me me? Azathoth? The grandfather of Yog-Sothoth, the leader of the demons, the absolute being that could be called the universe itself?

Or… is it simply an illusion?

If this were a dream, I desperately wished to wake up. Since it’s me anyway, there’s no need to pinch my cheek.

I raised my hand and slapped Azathoth’s cheek.

Slap—

A loud sound echoed, and the blue-light blocking glasses were knocked off her face. Then, she grabbed her swollen red cheek, tears welling up in her eyes, looking up at me as if she were terribly angry.

“What was that for! It hurts!”

“Are… you saying that right now? Not a bit concerned about the other person’s feelings?”

“Then, are you? Are you considerate of others? Regardless of what happens to others, what feelings they have, do you care about those petty things?

Azathoth looks up at me. No, I’m looking up at myself.

“You seem to be seriously mistaken, you’re an uninvited guest. This is my room, and I didn’t call you. You showed up on your own. And yet, you even got me to let you in.”

Slap—

My head turned. This time, Azathoth slapped my cheek.

“Why are you acting so flustered from such a little thing? Like a fool. Is that thing on your neck a decoration?”

Azathoth wasn’t in her childlike form. She had suddenly grown to the same height as me. Her clothes were the same as mine, and her left cheek was also swollen.

And somehow, my heart calmed down. I realized everything I should do.

I sat down without a second thought in the second gaming chair. In a very bad posture.

“Mmm… right. What do you do here.”

“Why, does it look like I’m playing? I guess so. But there’s this saying, isn’t there? If someone’s work looks easy, it means they’re a master.”

“You mean you’re a master?”

“Right. Wrong?”

I looked at one of the monitors. The faces of Yuri, Lulu, Nix, Aspi, Tier, and Eve were all reflected. They were lying comfortably with their eyes closed, floating through space.

Seeing that they seemed fine made me relieved.

“I made a small star next to them, just in case they got too cold. It’s just a slightly accelerated version of a star that was originally supposed to have appeared soon.”

“…Is that so? Thank you.”

“This is what I do. I watch everything here, direct, sometimes intervene and control, and cry and laugh.”

Azathoth rests her chin and quietly watches them all. When I saw her profile, I thought someone had put a mirror there.

“Why are you so careless? Can’t you explain it properly?”

“And you. Can you explain each and every function of the organs in your body?”

“My heart, uh, pumps oxygen throughout the body using involuntary muscles…”

“Shut up, humanities major. I can do that at the AP Biology level. That’s exactly the level of what I just explained.”

So what if it’s AP Biology? I may be a humanities major, but I still scored well on my finals.

Pfft-

I suddenly burst out laughing. Why? This space didn’t feel that unfamiliar, not unsettling anymore.

Clang-

I grabbed Azathoth’s shoulders and slammed her to the floor.

Thump-

“Ugh, what the…”

“Earlier, saying that you were fake. Apologize.”

“Bullshit. You’re the fake. Your, my, our true identity is Azathoth, the absolute god who governs this entire universe.”

“Are you really unwilling to apologize?”

Her eyes widened. As if she understood what I meant, her expression was as if she had been hit right where it hurt. And beyond that, she held the hope that her long-held dream would come true; her eyes flickered.

“I-If I apologize…”

“I’ll make your dream come true.”

“I assume… you know what that means, right.”

Azathoth swallowed. She seemed to have finished making up her mind. Well, it’s actually me who should be the one making up my mind.

I am Azathoth’s clone. I guess so. My true form, the universe itself, says so—isn’t that the case?

It wasn’t that I was special; my true form is the one who is special, and I merely inherited that specialness as one clone.

I am fake. An alien existence, an existence that shouldn’t have existed.

“But… there’s no way you’ll let that be, is there?”

“You know that well.”

That’s right. Now that I know, I can’t go back. I killed all the old ones and the Outsiders, even absorbing Nyarlathotep, yet Azathoth remained.

I will remember this fact until I die, I will suffer, and I will regret it.

I absolutely will. Because the one who knows me best is myself.

So I absolutely won’t let it be.

“I am me…”

“And I am you.”

Azathoth and I looked at each other and smiled. A Muyeong sword was in one of my hands.

“Is this… alright…?”

“Don’t worry. There’s no way I’d suddenly develop selfless feelings and choose one of us.”

“Right, well… I’ll figure it out somehow. Geez, why am I feeling this way now? Am I getting old?”

I know what I have to do. I have the necessary strength and the will. All that remains is my decision.

Kwaak-

My grip on the Muyeong sword tightened.

“Should I… leave it all to you?”

“Yeah. I kind of like it here. Or is there anything else you need? Want to reincarnate?”

“Reincarnation, my ass…”

“…”

Azathoth’s eyes flickered again. Having tasted hope, she seems to have gotten greedy. I understand.

“Just choose the mother of the children. I’ll make it happen.”

“Really…?”

“I guess we should erase the memories.”

“…Forget it. What’s the point then? Just do it quickly.”

I smirked. Azathoth also smiles bitterly. She knows too. That all the power of choice lies with me.

“What are you talking about? I haven’t finished calculating yet.”

“…You’re being stingy.”

“This is a contract. It’s also a succession. We need to do this properly. Consider it fortunate that we’re not making a written record.”

I grip the Muyeong sword with both hands, aiming the blade at Azathoth’s heart. Toward the valley between her ample breasts, under her loosened clothes.

“…I won’t.”

“Really?”

“I won’t apologize. You were truly a fake.”

Azathoth drops her arms. Lying on her back on the pure white floor, she closes her eyes, leaving one last word.

“Thank you. Now you are the real deal.”

Puk—

The Muyeong sword pierces Azathoth’s heart. Instead of blood, aether gushes out like a fountain, and all that pure white light envelops me.

I immediately fainted. The last thing I saw was the mountain of monitors tilted to the side.