episode_0311

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“Trash panda,” they call it.

A faint noise drifted in from beyond the curtain covering the entrance.

It didn’t sound like grown kids running around rudely—more like the pitter-patter of tiny children hopping about.

There wasn’t any heavy thumping, and soon after, someone’s voice gently scolding them mixed into the sound.

Still, it was enough to break my concentration.

I pulled my gaze away from Yozora’s shoulder for a moment.

Then, with a light sigh, I released her waist, which I’d been softly holding until now.

The front of our shirts, warmed by each other’s body heat, was now filled with cool air.

Only then did I notice the shirt was slightly damp with sweat.

A single flimsy curtain was all that shielded us from outside eyes, but still, it was a space for just the two of us.

Yozora, unusually quiet, and me, pressed so close against her.

…Maybe I just couldn’t focus in the first place.

Swallowing the belated thought with a breath, I twitched my lips.

“Is it always this loud? The manga café.”

“I-I dunno? The one we went to last time wasn’t like this…”

Maybe she’d been watching my reaction since I stopped holding her.

After keeping her distance for a bit, Yozora cautiously leaned her back against me again.

Her soft buttocks pressed against my lower half, right where she’d been touching me earlier.

Her back met my cooling shirt.

…From her perspective, something hard was pressing against her—something that should’ve bothered her.

But she acted like it didn’t matter.

No, more like… she seemed to prefer it this way.

“Still, isn’t this better than complete silence?”

“In what way?”

“…We can make a little noise?”

“It’s not a library. People can be a little loud anywhere, as long as they’re not bothering others.”

“That’s not what I meant……. ……Never mind.”

“…What is it?”

“I said never miiind…”

“…You were about to say something weird again, weren’t you?”

“N-No?”

“….”

The old you would’ve teased me with something like, “Huh? Don’t tell me you’re getting turned on?”

Far from creating a lewd atmosphere, you’d have given me a headache with your cackling and told me to get out of your room.

You’d have stormed off immediately, then spread annoying rumors every time we ran into each other at the hideout, saying I got hard because of you.

Yozora, who had pulled my arm herself and draped it around her waist, quietly turned the page.

Humming lightly, like that guy I saw earlier in the bathroom.

The dissonance between familiarity and unfamiliarity.

Because of it, an emotion I still couldn’t put into words clung to my heart like tar.

Love? Probably not.

Obsession? No way.

Regret? That’s too much.

Lust might be the closest, but it’s missing something.

I’d been searching for the right word since the bathroom, but I still didn’t know.

Possessiveness? Maybe a little close.

Selfishness? That might cover half of it.

If only I’d read more books—self-help, magazines, manga, textbooks—anything.

Would I have known then?

I don’t know.

“…….”

Glancing briefly at the page where the male and female leads were happily eating together, I picked up a nearby cushion and muttered quietly.

“Never mind. Just read by yourself.”

“Huh? Bored already?”

“The ending’s predictable.”

“Ehhh. Predictable? Then how do you even watch rom-coms? You start knowing, ‘Oh, these two are gonna get together~’ And for lewd stuff, it’s like, ‘These two are gonna do it later~’ …The fun part’s the journey…”

“That’s why I don’t watch them.”

“W-Well… yeah, I guess…”

“So now… …get off.”

“….”

“I’m not leaving, so just… move.”

“…Okay.”

At first, Yozora pretended not to hear, but she eventually wriggled forward.

What came into view was the outline of something that showed just how much blood had rushed there while pressed against her soft skin.

I briefly considered doing something about it but soon gave up and lay back.

The plush seat covered the entire floor, so I used the cushion I’d picked up as a pillow.

I reached for the blanket in the corner and haphazardly draped it over myself.

Then, a familiar weight settled on top of me again.

I didn’t need to open my eyes to know.

But I slowly lifted my eyelids to look at the culprit.

The culprit was staring down at me with a rare expression.

A smile.

Not a teasing one—just a smile.

A faint blush on her cheeks, a smile.

Thinking back, it might’ve been the first time I’d seen Yozora make that face.

“What’re you doing?”

“If you fall asleep, what then? You said you’d play with me now.”

I almost retorted, “I already did,” but swallowed the words.

At most, ten minutes—and I’d even stepped away briefly in the middle. Bringing that up would’ve felt too petty.

Besides, the reason Yozora and I were like this now was because she’d done something praiseworthy.

Praising her properly would be beneficial in many ways.

“…What do you wanna do?”

“….”

A brief silence.

Then, the playful edge slowly returned to Yozora’s smile, which had just been a simple grin.

Along with an exaggerated thinking pose.

Finally, a more Yozora-like expression, I thought—but only for a moment.

She shifted from where she’d been sitting on my lower stomach.

“If I say it, will you do it?”

“Depends.”

“‘Depends’… ‘Depends’…”

Then—

She slid down to a rather blatant spot.

“What about you, Seo Jin?”

“….”

“Is there… nothing you wanna do with me?”

“….”

She whispered.

“Seems like there’s something you wanna do…”

“….”

As if riding the momentum.

Playfully swaying her hips.

“Pfft… Earlier, you said if we did something lewd, the smell might stick and Ji-Yun would notice?”

“…If you know, stop pressing down on me from above and move to the side.”

“Whyyy? Earlier, you were the one who pulled me in and pressed me against your…”

“….”

“If this keeps up, you’ll be in trouble too, right? …I could help you quietly.”

“Don’t need it. If you stay still, it’ll go away on its own.”

“That’ll take too long.”

“It won’t.”

I firmly pushed Yozora aside with the hand holding the blanket.

She clicked her tongue but eventually wriggled off me and sat on the floor.

The entrance was somewhat covered, but a single curtain wasn’t much.

If we did anything weird here, the sounds would definitely leak out.

I get the thrill of almost getting caught, but doing something reckless where you’re guaranteed to get caught just seems stupid.

…Still, like I thought earlier, I should play along.

Maybe then this tangled mess in my chest would settle.

Letting go of the blanket, I rolled over.

“…….”

“Hup…”

I don’t know how she interpreted that, but Yozora, now holding the blanket instead of me, lay down beside me and covered us both.

The sound of the blanket spreading wide.

Then, a cushion identical to the one I was using as a pillow was placed right next to me.

There were many things I could’ve said,

but I kept it short.

“…What about the manga?”

“I can read it later!”

“You said we came here to read manga.”

“My feelings changed since then~”

“…ADHD. Something like that?”

“Ugh… I don’t wanna admit it, but maybe… …Oh! Wanna check me yourself?”

“Can’t diagnose. Treatment might be possible, though.”

“Then treat me. Here! My forehead.”

Despite my dismissive tone, Yozora smiled brightly and scooted closer, holding the edge of the blanket.

As our faces neared, her previously inaudible breathing and the faint sweet scent grew more distinct.

…Orange.

Not citrus—more like the cocktail Yozora loved.

Would we ever drink like that again?

Unless I dragged her along, I’d have to be the one to suggest it.

Lost in pointless thoughts, I pulled a hand out from under the blanket.

Her skin was warm.

And my hand was already plenty warm too.

“How is it? Any injuries?”

“…It’s been five seconds.”

“Takes longer than I thought, huh?”

“You’ve had me treat you before… ……In the nurse’s office.”

“Hmm~ If we count the times I faked it, then yeah?”

“Then wait quietly. Stop whining.”

“Hehe. Wasn’t planning to whine.”

“…….”

“I kinda like just staying like this too.”

“…Quiet. You’re distracting me.”

“…….”

“…….”

“…Your hand. It’s really big.”

“…….”

“Maybe ‘cause I’m a midget. Mine’s tiny.”

“…….”

I can’t fix her personality.

It’s not wrong—just incompatible with mine.

So I’d known from the start this was pointless.

But.

….

…I don’t know.

For some reason I couldn’t grasp,

I kept my hand on her forehead for a while.

Like checking for a fever.

Even though

it meant nothing.

“Done?”

“…Yeah.”

“Feels the same?”

“It’s not an illness—it’s your personality. …Can’t fix that.”

“I seeee~ My personality. …Personality.”

“….”

“…What do you think?”

“About what?”

“My personality. Is it bad?”

“….”

It’s annoying.

Makes me wanna flick her forehead.

I’d pay her to leave me alone.

A decade of memories with Yozora spat out answers instantly,

but this question—

this whispered question about her own personality—

even though it was the first time I’d heard it,

I felt like I understood what she meant.

…So I ignored it all.

Still lying on my side, I slipped my hand under the blanket and said:

“Don’t really think about it.”

“Don’t say that~ C’mon… You have a type, right?”

“…I guess.”

“Compared to that, how bad is mine?”

“Not that bad.”

“So you don’t like it—got it…”

“….”

“Guess Sua-chan’s personality is more… Oh, Seo-yeon’s really quiet too… Ji-Yun also…”

A tiny bit.

Her voice sounded deflated.

…Probably just another one of Yozora’s games.

But since it’s a game,

it’s fine to play along.

“…I like moderately lively personalities. ‘Cause mine’s boring.”

“…….”

I gave a half-hearted answer, and we stayed quiet for a while.

Until Yozora said she was going to the bathroom.