episode_0218

by admin

Bbee-yong Bbee-yong—

Yejie was completely focused on the arcade game.

A state of trance. It wouldn’t be an overstatement to describe it that way.

—Who are you?

At first, the question was extremely loud.

It felt like listening to a train’s horn with my ear pressed against it. Therefore, every time I heard it, Yejie would be startled. But that didn’t last long.

Because there was soon a change.

—You are… who are you…

—You are…

—….

The question gradually grew smaller.

It got to the point where Yejie could barely hear it even when straining her ears, and eventually, she couldn’t hear it at all.

‘It’s better this way.’

Yejie thought.

Since she can’t even give an answer to the question anyway, it’s just getting in the way of playing the game. She tapped the arcade machine.

Ta-da-da-da-dak—

She’s even wearing work gloves and working hard. Yejie frantically pounded on the drum-washing-machine-shaped rhythm game.

The worries she had soon melted away like ice cream.

‘I wish I could do this for the rest of my life…’

But.

Yejie’s peace didn’t last very long.

“…”

Yejie suddenly felt an instinctive chill.

Crash—!

The next moment, all the windows in the arcade shattered.

It happened at the same time as a huge crowd swarming in like a pack of dogs.

“W-What is this?”

Yejie muttered, drenched in bewilderment.

Yejie was currently being dragged away against her will.

‘What is all this? Ghosts?’

Even the state of those dragging her away is strange.

Their faces are shaded and not visible, and only the corners of their mouths are slightly visible. They grabbed Yejie with tremendous force and dragged her away.

“W-Who are you all? Where are you going?”

Only then did those around her open their mouths and speak.

—You don’t need to know that.

—It’s not really important, is it?

—Just do what you’ve always done.

—Get swept away, be carried away, just like a wave.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…”

Hong Yejie muttered.

“Huh?”

Suddenly, she couldn’t help but be horrified.

Because a bizarre landscape unfolded before her eyes.

A mountain of thorny bushes was forming, even wriggling like snakes. Just looking at it sent chills down her spine.

Yejie asked anxiously.

“Wh-What do you want?”

No one answered her.

They just pulled Yejie with all their might.

“The thorny bushes are right in front of me… You should probably stop soon…”

Yejie realized it around then.

“…!”

That they had no intention of stopping even with the thorny bushes in front of them.

But even realizing it now, there was nothing she could do. They pushed Yejie like a shield. With all their might.

Pooooook—!

“…!”

There wasn’t even time to scream.

Both eyes were pierced by huge thorns, instantly losing her vision, and only after two beats did the pain strike.

It’s hot.

It was a pain that burned her whole body.

‘A-Ah, it hurts…!’

Even while thinking that, she couldn’t make a sound.

She wanted to beg them to stop.

They had no intention of stopping at all.

They only occasionally muttered like this.

—Yejie can do it, right?

—Yejie is this kind of person, right?

—If it’s not Yejie, who else would do it?

‘S-Stop it! Please stop!’

—Look, when you bleed, it turns into flowers.

—We’ll erase the thorny bushes with your blood.

—It’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

—So you should be happy too.

Yejie shook her head.

She hated it. She tried to say she hated it so much.

Kwa-deu-deu-deu-deuk—!

They pushed Yejie all the way in as if grinding chalk on asphalt. Until all the bones were crushed, and finally, nothing but a blood-soaked rag remained.

A little later.

Not even a trace of Yejie remained.

“Heok…! Heok…!”

Yejie suddenly regained consciousness in the arcade.

“Where is…?”

When she came to her senses, she was back here again.

Yejie had to tremble with anxiety for a while. Afraid that the windows would be broken again and people would come.

And.

—Who are you?

The question that sounds loud again, just like the first time.

‘…Did I die just now because I didn’t answer?’

She can’t understand dying, or coming back to life and returning here, but one piece of information was injected into her mind. Yejie paid the price for not answering the question.

“Isn’t that too much…?”

Yejie said, trembling.

Being torn to death by thorns was so painful.

At that time, a sonorous voice rang out.

—It is the result of your answer.

“The result of my answer?”

Yejie was dumbfounded.

“I didn’t even answer, so what…!”

However.

Yejie’s words couldn’t be finished.

—You did not know who you were until the end, nor could you explain it. So you only faced an ending where you were swayed by others. It’s not that I’m being cold-hearted.

“An ending where I was swayed?” —Yes, even the same thorny path is a world of difference depending on how you feel about it. For example, it wouldn’t have been a painful experience for someone who wanted to break through the thorny bushes.

So, the cause is that she didn’t have her own will?

“I am…”

She couldn’t finish her sentence this time either.

The voice’s words weren’t wrong, and still, Yejie didn’t know herself at all.

“…I don’t know. How can I answer when I don’t know?”

—It’s okay.

Suddenly, Yejie had a feeling that the voice had slightly raised the corners of its lips. It was a kind of instinct.

—You can just experience it until you know.

Crash—!

Once again, the arcade windows shattered.

After dying more than ten times.

“Stop, please stop…!”

Yejie knelt on the floor.

“Stop, please stop. I don’t know who I am… Just tell me. Why don’t you just teach me? Why are you torturing me!”

She is trembling, with tears welling up in her eyes as she argues. She wanted to stop having this kind of experience.

—Are you ready to know yourself?

“Y-Yes, I am!”

—Good.

—Now you must have realized.

—If you live your life being swayed without exploring yourself, you will lose yourself. You lose the most important thing.

“Yes. Yes…”

She realized it deeply without having to be told.

Yejie felt it through the repeated experience of being torn apart by thorns. That if you live a life being pushed around by others, in the end, there will only be pain.

But the problem is next.

Okay, I understand that I shouldn’t live being pushed around by others.

But….

‘How exactly do I find myself?’

When Yejie thought that, the voice murmured as if reading her mind.

—Examine the arcade machine.

“Suddenly…? The arcade machine…?”

As always, words she can’t understand. Yejie asked a few questions, but no answer came back.

‘You killed me for ignoring you and playing the game…’

As Yejie thought that and approached the arcade machine.

Chi-ji-jik—!

“Ugh!”

The arcade machine made noise and the screen changed. Yejie was startled and stepped back.

But the surprise was only temporary, and soon she felt interested.

“Huh?”

Because the scenery that unfolded before her eyes was familiar.

“What?”

Yejie couldn’t help but widen her eyes.

‘This is… Mom and me. It’s also way back in the past.’

Because the screen suddenly showed Yejie and her mother. Yejie is very young and her mother is unfamiliar and young, but there’s no way she wouldn’t recognize them.

A small hospital room.

—Sniff…. Sniff….

Her mother was crying next to her father, who was lying on the bed. Little Yejie is playing with a doll. It’s because she’s too young. She didn’t know the seriousness of the situation at all.

“…”

Yejie, who was looking at the arcade machine, murmured quietly.

“Is this… the first memory I have…?”

Yejie’s memory always started from here.

At the same time, it was also the reason why Yejie usually felt frustrated. She didn’t know the reason why her father became a vegetable in detail.

Deureuk—

At that time, a man came into the hospital room and had a serious conversation with her mother. Information flowed into her head. It was said to be someone related to the factory accident.

‘Ugh, my head…’

The feeling of information being forcibly injected was never pleasant. Yejie soon shook her head vigorously.

‘My head hurts…’

This was the end of the arcade machine’s screen playback.

Yejie moved to another arcade machine.

Chi-ji-jik—!

The screen of this arcade machine also turned black and then quickly showed a different landscape. It was Yejie who had grown up a little more.

Was she about an elementary school student?

The place is a school.

Elementary school student Yejie was standing next to the teacher. She looks like she’s frozen like a statue, but she knows.

That it’s not because she’s mature, but because she’s too nervous.

‘I remember. It’s the day of the class president election.’

—Teacher, I recommend Yejie.

—Me too. Yejie is mature.

Yejie, who originally had no intention of running for class president, ended up running because of recommendations from people around her. There were no other candidates, so she was elected, and it seems like it was annoying all year long….

At that time.

“Huh?”

Yejie tilted her head without realizing it.

Once again, a scene different from her memory unfolded.

—Our Yejie is so admirable for being the class president. Thank you.

Elementary school student Yejie blushes and rejoices at the teacher’s words. After parting ways with the teacher, elementary school student Yejie worked several times harder on the work she was in charge of.

‘I was happy? There’s no way. I thought I hated it, feeling annoyed every time…’

Yejie pondered for a moment.

‘Ah, whatever. It’s a strange memory.’

Thinking that, she headed to another arcade machine.

Chi-ji-ji-jik—!

When she arrives, something is played again with noise.

Her appearance working at a PC cafe.

Her appearance working at a convenience store.

—Yejie! Thanks to you, sales have increased dramatically. I heard that people are ordering more food just to see you up close. And the cleaning is so neat!

—The convenience store shelves… You didn’t measure them with a ruler and organize them, did you? I was surprised because it was so neat. Thank you, Yejie.

As expected, the screen shows Yejie’s past appearance again this time. It’s nothing special. A part-time job is about working and getting paid. She did it with the thought of earning her money’s worth.

But….

Again.

It’s that again.

Near the end, content different from Yejie’s memory unfolded.

The past Yejie, who bowed her head to the store manager, clenched her fist timidly and strengthened her will. It was with the appearance of working several times harder afterwards.

‘I… really made this kind of expression?’

Unlike her memory, the young Yejie didn’t sigh or show a tired look.

She just works harder.

‘No, there’s no way this could be.’

Yejie shook her head and headed to another arcade machine.

It was the same even if she played other arcade machines.

Chi-ji-jik—!

Noise occurs and she is forced to watch a certain screen. As if she must see this.

—Yejie, would you like to try being an assistant writer? You just have to proofread typos. But you know that the spell checkers these days have good performance. In fact, it’s an easy way to make money.

—…Does such a sweet job really exist?

—Of course, other assistant writers have a lot of work and are crazy busy, but I heard that you’re having a hard time finding a part-time job these days? Just do this for a while and go.

Yejie on the screen grew up quickly and eventually came to this moment. Finally, the point of stepping into an assistant writer.

After that.

Yejie on the screen is praised very often.

—You filled this scene, Yejie? Really?

—Yejie, you… have talent?

‘….’

Yejie no longer shook her head and didn’t move towards other arcade machines.

Because she was slowly getting annoyed to the point of going crazy.

There was one strange common point in each screen played on each arcade machine. That is, unlike what Yejie remembers, she showed quite a bit of passion for the work she was in charge of.

Naturally, a question could not help but arise.

‘Did I really want to be ordinary?’

Was it really something I did reluctantly while being annoyed?

…In fact, didn’t I want to be an outstanding person?

Thinking about it now, it’s true.

Even though I was recommended, I ended up not refusing to become the class president, and I also worked harder than necessary at my part-time job. There are many things that bother me.

“…”

In the meantime, the arcade machine showed the next screen.

The past Yejie, a rookie assistant writer, was writing a manuscript while dozing off. You could guess how great her passion was even if you only saw her from behind.

Then one day.

—Ah.

The past Yejie, who went to work in the workspace, made a foolish sound. Because writer Lee Geum-sook was reading her own manuscript that she had forgotten to put on her desk.

—Yejie, do you know whose manuscript this is?

—Yes? What’s wrong?

—The writing is too messy.

The feeling of the rookie Yejie whose heart sank was felt as it was. It was writing that she put all her effort into while even reducing her sleep, but the evaluation was only that much.

—There’s no way there’s a kid in our studio who writes something like this… It seems like the kids brought it after interacting somewhere. Do you know, Yejie? Whose writing it is?

—Well….

The past rookie Yejie hesitated.

—I don’t know….

Around this time, the current Yejie was in shock.

Perhaps.

What if.

Isn’t the screen showing the truth?

She definitely had a desire to succeed in writing, but she just realized reality soon after?

‘Maybe the reality I realized at that time was…’

The reality that she has no talent as a writer.

Yejie’s ability was in ‘editing’ rather than ‘writer.’ She can beautify and refine other people’s writing, but that’s it. She can’t write her own writing.

‘…Then was I just running away?’

Naturally, that’s what she thought.

Like a fox who couldn’t eat grapes and told herself they wouldn’t taste good, wasn’t she living like that too? While deliberately ignoring the truth.

While not being able to challenge herself in the things she really wants to do because she’s afraid, isn’t she putting herself in an environment where she can be praised appropriately by others and be mistaken?

Like a kind of defense mechanism.

Because there’s no reason to be hurt if you’re in an environment where you’re praised and mistaken. Because you can make excuses like ‘I’m annoyed, but I’m doing it because I have to’ as if you’re the boss in every situation.

Lee Geum-sook in the screen continues to speak.

—The decisive reason why this writing is a mess is….

And the moment when the current Yejie listened carefully.

Ppa-jik!

“Ugh!”

Suddenly, a headache occurred.

The advice Lee Geum-sook gave her, how she handled the manuscript afterwards…. The crucial part was not in her memory.

‘What kind of advice did I hear? What did I do?’

Thump, thump, thump—

Her heart was beating wildly. It was tension and impatience. She felt like she was going crazy because she wanted to fill the memory gap right away.

But the arcade machine’s screen was also stopped.

At this most crucial moment.

“Why is this happening! Show me more quickly!”

Unable to overcome her frustrating feelings, she hit the arcade machine with the palm of her hand, but the screen was not replayed. Yejie started sweating cold.

“It can’t end here. Show me just a little more…”

But when Yejie muttered that.

Sssssssss—!

Her vision turned white again.

As if telling her to leave now.

◈◈◈◈◈

“…Ah.”

Yejie felt that she had returned to the original world.

Entry is not free. At some point, she falls at will, and being kicked out is the same.

“…”

She quietly looked around.

The funeral meal is still going on, and no one is looking at Yejie strangely. It was quite a long experience, but it seems that only a short time has passed in reality.

‘It was a bizarre experience.’

And it was a terrible experience.

Just recalling the experience of being torn by thorny bushes brought tears to her eyes. It hurt that much.

But.

Still, there was one thing she gained.

Yejie thought she was ridiculous.

Why?

Because her thoughts changed with just one dream.

‘Maybe I’m too full right now. Because it’s a situation where I can go above average just by staying still.’

Just stay still. She doesn’t have to care what the alien game production team does. They will take care of the production, and money will be deposited into Yejie’s bank account.

“Yeah, I just have to stay still…”

Now she doesn’t want to do that.

It became clear with the experience just now.

There is no paradise somewhere where you are swept away like a buoy. Surely, only bitter results will be waiting at the end.

‘I shouldn’t be swept away. I have to do something.’

But.

When she decided that, another task arose.

…What can I do in this situation?

If she stays still, she will lose herself. But if she tries hard with all her might, she can’t guarantee the quality.

‘I feel like I’m adrift at sea.’

Her head throbs mixed with alcohol.

In the meantime, Yejie drifted aimlessly. The current situation is like wanting to return to the island belatedly after spending a long time in the vast ocean.

Where should I go? And how should I go?

She doesn’t know anything.

It would be nice if she could ask someone for advice.

Advice, advice….

Soon something came to mind.

‘As expected, if I want to get advice, there’s only that person.’

If there’s someone she can confide in, it’s only one person.

Yejie grabbed one of the people involved around her.

“Please call Soo-ah ssi. Please. Right now….”

The person hesitated, but nodded after seeing Yejie’s earnest expression. Afterwards, the sound of people talking penetrated Yejie’s ears.

“…What a coincidence? Soo-ah ssi was looking for Yejie ssi a lot too.”

0 Comments