episode_0211

Today is the day of the mandatory physical examination that all students attending Yoram High School must undergo. I headed straight to the infirmary before work even started.

“Welcome.”

And waiting for me in the infirmary was an old doctor with a beard and wearing a white gown.

“I don’t think I need to explain the method, right? You’ve probably already received it. Just go inside and… ”

A giant steam-belching machine awaits me with its mouth wide open like a demon’s hand.

After lying down in there for 30 minutes, the examination is over in a simple manner, and what follows is the usual brief interview.

“Hmm… ”

But unlike last month, the bearded old doctor who received my diagnosis was frowning and tilting his head slightly.

“Hey, are you feeling okay these days?”

After a while, he asks an incomprehensible question.

“Condition… are you talking about that?”

“Yeah. For example, cramps in the extremities, blurred vision, headaches… anything goes.”

“… I’m fine. My body feels light, and there’s nothing particularly unnatural about it… ”

I thought for a moment and then shook my head.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“… Hmm, that’s right. Okay. ”

“But why are you asking that? Is there a problem…?”

“Oh, nothing like that. I just had a quick question.”

The doctor who was stamping the certificate of passing on the documents shook his head as if it was no big deal.

Then he handed me a piece of paper densely covered with various diagrams and text.

“Can you see? This graph shows your physical overload level. This is the level you see only in veteran experts who have been on countless battlefields. But you are still a student who has not even reached the age of 18. That’s the only thing that’s a little strange.”

“Then isn’t there a problem?”

But the old man soon shook his head.

“It’s possible for your numbers to temporarily jump. Besides, you’ve been through a lot recently. You’ve been through all sorts of things, and of course, your body has been through a lot, so the test results could come out like that.”

“Um… ”

“There are no particular symptoms, and above all, you are still young. Just refrain from overexerting yourself for the time being. Make sure to get plenty of rest. Then, you will soon return to normal.”

“Okay.”

“If you are really worried, you can get a separate examination at a private hospital in the capital. If you want, I can write a referral for you.”

“No. Where else can you find a facility as good as the Cradle Infirmary? If the teacher in charge says so, then so be it.”

“Kkeulkeul, they’re really putting gold on that old man’s face.”

It was about time I got up after finishing the ceremonial greetings.

Suddenly, the unfamiliar words that the old doctor blurted out as if they were nothing special rang in my ears.

“Anyway, know that and eat comfortably. You don’t have to worry about useless things like collapse syndrome or anything. Seriously, the kid who came yesterday was crying and screaming that he had an incurable disease… In the end, it was just a mild cold… ”

“Collapse… syndrome… ?”

“Oh, I told you, you don’t have to worry.”

The doctor waved his hand without even looking at me and went back to his work.

“Didn’t I just say that? The odds of a teenage wizard dying from a collapse are much lower than the odds of being assassinated by a demon. Even lower than the odds of that demon being the Demon King. If you understand, then you can go now.”

“… ”

But somehow, despite his boasts, I can’t move my feet.

It may be simple curiosity, but… in any case, it is clear that the term ‘collapse syndrome’ is not easily overcome.

“I… ”

“Huh? You’re not home yet? Did you leave something behind?”

“I have a question about something else. You mentioned the collapse syndrome earlier. ”

After a moment of hesitation, I finally turned around and spoke to him.

“Can I ask what that is? It seems like a word I’ve never heard of before… ”

“… Is this your first time hearing about the collapse syndrome?”

Then he crosses his arms and looks at me with a slightly suspicious look.

“I remember that among the Black Lotus ancestors, there were two or three people who went like that. I don’t know if they had talent, but I guess they studied poorly, huh?”

“… I’m sorry.”

In the first place, how could I know about the family of someone I don’t even know? Now, it’s a bit awkward to even call them a stranger…

“… Well, there’s nothing I can’t tell you. It’s always nice to see someone eager to learn. Sit down. ”

But he soon pushed aside the pile of papers and turned away.

“Collapse syndrome. It is literally a phenomenon where the body itself collapses.”

Rather, it is a quick explanation, as if they had been waiting for it. Perhaps the need for someone to talk to when feeling lonely is something that both wizards and old people in the countryside have in common.

“The glands in our body have a very special structure. Could it be a product of rapid evolution?”

The old doctor continued his explanation calmly while wiping his glasses.

“Thanks to this, the spring can very stably contain particles, which are an unstable source of energy. And the particles contained in the spring are processed to suit each individual’s characteristics and stored there. So that we can retrieve them whenever we write a magic formula. ”

“You mean internalization?”

“That’s right. The limit of the well is the limit of the individual wizard. When the well is empty, it means particle exhaustion, which means you can’t use magic. ”

He nodded.

“However, it is not completely impossible to use magic in such a situation. Some magicians can create magic formulas by drawing particles through their bodies without going through the well.”

“… ”

“Of course, not everyone can use that method. Rather, it is extremely rare. Only wizards who have been rolling around the battlefield for decades and developed their senses in every corner can do it.”

It’s a method that feels similar to the way I use magic, but also quite different.

“But you will rarely encounter such a situation in daily life. It is highly discouraged to use the body to attract particles. Unless you are pushed to the extreme.”

“Why? If you use it well, it seems like it would be quite useful.”

“The answer is simple. If we think about it without the ‘sample’, it’s because our bodies themselves are not very suitable for using magic. ”

The old doctor raised his finger.

“Even if you use magic like that, you can only do a few small spells. Depending on the person, it might be possible to use high-level magic once, but anything more than that would be structurally impossible due to overload. And the problem is… the harm is too great compared to its practicality.”

“Harmful… you say?”

“Of course, doing something like that once or twice doesn’t mean you have to end your life right away. It could actually be a good gamble. Of course, isn’t it? It’s a hundred times better to resist with every bit of strength than to die without being able to do anything. But… ”

Every word is correct.

“Imagine a jar with dozens of tiny, invisible cracks etched into it.”

The old doctor answered calmly.

“That would be our body if we used magic even once through the flesh, not the spring. It would certainly look no different than before, and it actually is. Even if there are some cracks on the outside, the frame is still solid.”

“… ”

“But what if you don’t stop there and go further? What if the dozens of cracks eventually grow into hundreds? What if the cracks that were eating away at the surface eventually invade the frame?”

“What happens?”

“Of course, it would not be able to withstand the overload anymore and would break into pieces and crumble.”

“… ”

“If there had been a big hole, it could still be a jar. But this is different. It would have been completely turned into dust, to the point where it wouldn’t even be possible to say it was broken.”

“Powder… ”

“No one will remember that the jar ever existed in the world. It will have already been blown away by the wind and scattered without a trace.”

“… ”

“I see you finally understand. That’s the collapse syndrome.”

His tone was still as if it was nothing special.

“The most horrible and miserable death a wizard can face is the one where one’s very existence is erased.”

***

I was lost in thought even as I walked out of the infirmary and down the hallway.

‘That’s all for now. Anyway, you don’t have to worry about it. There hasn’t been a single case of a student dying from collapse syndrome in the past 100 years.’

The old doctor said that, but… he said that because he didn’t know my situation.

I wasn’t born a wizard. That hasn’t changed much even now.

Although I trained desperately, my current body is closer to that of a normal person than a magician.

Of course, there is no spring. Thanks to this, there are no internalized particles, so no one can tame a crow that everyone else has.

Of course, I’m not that dissatisfied or anything. I never imagined I would live a life like this in the first place.

But the old man’s words give us some food for thought.

In other words, I am receiving the overload he was talking about every time I use magic.

I think I understand more clearly why the captain and his sisters always said that high-level magic should only be used in emergency situations. Low-level magic is okay, but if you go that far, it will inevitably put a strain on your body.

The problem is that although he made a promise while being so excited that he might really die, he unfortunately doesn’t seem to be keeping it very well.

There are probably already a hundred incontinence marks on my body that the doctor mentioned.

“Um… ”

Well, you just have to be careful from now on. It’s not like you’ll die right away just because you did it a few times.

I have to hold out there for at least three years anyway. I plan on keeping my promise to the captain somehow. What happens after that…

“… ”

When I suddenly think about that, the first thing that comes to mind is Yeonminha’s face.

What should I do? I feel sorry for you, who is already having a hard time. You seem unusually listless these days.

…I guess there’s no need to worry any more, right?

With that in mind, I was just about to head down to the training grounds for the sparring evaluation.

“Huh?”

” in?”

The person I had been thinking about just a moment ago suddenly stopped and looked up at me from the bottom of the stairs.

At first glance, he looks calm, but his eyes still look somewhat uneasy.