episode_0211

CEO Choi was very polite, yet tense. Facing me, with whom he had spent time and developed some affection. …Of course, my hedgehog-like attitude might also play a part…

Konkuk University Shelter is a solidified entity of soldiers, politicians, and large corporations. I have a history of clashing with each of these elements at least once. The same was true for CEO Choi, who ran a business. It might be a similar yet slightly different situation, but we share the common experience of having been ‘burned’. As a bonus, this includes thugs and a government that abandoned its people. Therefore, I don’t trust them, and resentment remains in my heart. Though it’s less so for Captain Lee and the others I’ve spent time with. Jihyeok hyung, who knew that part, was extremely tense. …CEO Choi also knew it well. Is that why? His voice and gaze were very cautious. As soon as the conversation turned to relationships, his hand instinctively reached for a cigarette. ‘…It’s hard to quit smoking.’ This is why I can’t quit smoking. Only after taking a deep drag and exhaling a long puff did I open my mouth.

“…Suddenly?” I had to at least hear him out. I calmly asked again, my voice betraying no displeasure. Even so, CEO Choi was cautious. “It’s not sudden.” “Then what is it?” “It’s the result of considerations made while Seonghan was cooperating with Konkuk University Shelter.” At his words, my gaze naturally drifted to the map filled with X marks. “…Is there anything you’re worried about?” This time, I asked cautiously. “You’re not getting angry.” “Because I believe CEO Choi wouldn’t bring this up without a good reason.” As CEO Choi was being frank, I was frank in return. At my words, he relaxed slightly and gave a small smile. And then, with a calmer voice, he began to speak again. “Seonghan. Please look at the map.” “…….” “As you can see, many shelters have already been erased. And as time passes, more will be erased one by one.” The possibility of that happening is quite high. “Among them will be places not marked here.” At CEO Choi’s heavy voice, I subtly looked at him. Meeting my gaze, he tried to maintain his composure. “Certainly, there will be individuals and groups that endure well. But there will be more people who don’t.” “……Hmm.” “On the radio, there were those who barked about doomsday theories or nonsense, but there were also people who made realistic, clear-headed analyses.” “Analysis?” “Yes. It was about how over 90% of Seoul’s population might have already died… that kind of content.” “Huh…?” For words spoken so carefully, quite gruesome content came out. He continued speaking to my slightly bewildered self. “Of course, I think it’s an exaggerated analysis, but…” “…Do you think it could be true?” At my words, CEO Choi took out the cigarette he had put away. “My thought is, even if not 90%, it might be close.” “Junseong hyung?” My hyung, who had been looking at us anxiously, widened his eyes. “And… my thought is that it might be the same not just for Seoul, but for other major cities… for the whole country.” Hyung closed his mouth, and Miri’s dad froze in his seat. I inhaled the cigarette smoke deeply. “There’s certainly a possibility of that.” “…Did you also think so, Seonghan?” “Since I’ve seen things while moving around, I can’t help but think that. I’ve even suspected that the owner of the world might have changed.” At my words, the corner of CEO Choi’s eye twitched. “What I felt was exactly that.” “It’s not just you or CEO Choi-nim, but there might be many others who felt the same way.” “…Junseong hyung. So, why are you bringing this up…?” At first, I thought CEO Choi was scared and despairing of the grim reality. So I thought he would suggest that even the survivors should unite. “From my judgment, I don’t think there’s another group as sane as Konkuk University Shelter.” “…….” “If only a few people are going to survive anyway, I wonder if it wouldn’t be better to leave at least a minimal bridge.” “Does that mean you’re suggesting an alliance?” At my words, CEO Choi shook his head. “Literally, we’re just leaving the bridge.” “…You mean, don’t sever the connection?” “That’s right.” “Hmm…” I put the cigarette in my mouth and thought for a moment. “Why did you think that?” “…It occurred to me that we might not be able to return to how things were before.” “…Haven’t we already come too far to go back to how things were?” “Haha…” At my light criticism, CEO Choi couldn’t hide his bitter expression. I felt like I had stung him too sharply, but… ‘…I think I know what he’s thinking.’ I quietly spoke to CEO Choi, who looked a bit troubled. “Friendly neighbors. Is that the feeling?” “Exactly.” “Mmm…” “There’s no need to get too close. But there’s also no need to draw a sharp line.” “And help each other?” “That’s right, but it would mostly be in the direction of Seonghan lending his strength.” “Um…” ‘Indeed…’ If there was anything immediately visible, it would be my physical capabilities. The supplies I possessed, including food, were a secret… As I was trying to recall what was in my inventory, CEO Choi continued. “Of course, it will be difficult for them to find Seonghan every time.” “Because they’d be mindful of the cost?” “Because the unit price is incredibly high.” “Khahat~!” I burst out laughing at CEO Choi’s words. It was literally true. If you calculate my employment fee(?) in terms of money, it would be an enormous sum. It’s a profitability that can’t even be compared to the daily wage of manual labor. That’s how it is from my perspective, but from their side, their financial situation might find it burdensome. Still, considering the results, it might not be that expensive… “But even if they pay that much, they won’t think it’s a waste. Because the results are that perfect.” CEO Choi, as if his mouth had opened up, shared his thoughts without hesitation. “You succeeded in an impossible plan from the start. Even completing it neatly in an unexpectedly short time. Crucially, no one died or was injured. On top of that, you even performed rescue operations. They must be completely captivated.” “…….” “I initially thought Seonghan would say he couldn’t do it.” “Oh…” “Because it was that dangerous and had a low chance of success.” …He’s suddenly too honest… “But you didn’t say you couldn’t do it at all.” “Because I thought it was worth trying.” CEO Choi drew a deep smile. “Thanks to that, I definitively acknowledged it. That I had underestimated Seonghan too much.” “Um…” “Seonghan.” CEO Choi leaned his upper body slightly forward, adopting a serious demeanor. “People are more greedy than you think. Whether in a good way or a bad way.” “??” “They’ll probably want Seonghan. And very much so.” I shivered slightly. “Has there been contact already?” “Uh, that…” “What? Did you really get an offer?” Hyung also became serious. “I did get one, but…” “Whoa…” “No, hyung. Captain Lee just sounded me out. I refused.” “Hmm…Captain Lee Kanghoon, you mean. He didn’t seem like that type, how unexpected.” “Junseong hyung. This looks like…” CEO Choi murmured Captain Lee’s name, narrowing his eyes. To the two who were unnecessarily getting serious, I told them about Captain Lee’s offer. And I also told them that I had clearly refused. But the expressions on their faces didn’t soften easily. “Is that such a big deal?” “It’s a situation where people are badly needed. Any proper group will have endless ambition for talented individuals. If it were me, I would never give up on a talent like Seonghan.” “Even though I’ve already refused?” “Do you think the saying ‘three visits to the thatched cottage’ [a proverb about persistent efforts to recruit someone] came about for no reason?” “They say there’s no tree that won’t fall if you hit it ten times [a proverb about persistence eventually leading to success].” Even if you cut it with a chainsaw, it won’t fall. I let out a small, self-deprecating laugh at the two men’s slightly anxious demeanor. “Ah~ So you think I’ll go over to their side?” “Rather than that being the case…” “Ah~ I’m disappointed in you, hyung. It means you didn’t trust me, doesn’t it?” “Hey, it’s not like that!” “Ugh~ There’s no way to soothe this fragile, scratched heart~ This is why I can’t quit smoking~” “Ugh…” In the end, hyung also put a cigarette in his mouth, lit it, and leaned back on the sofa. ‘…So…’ To sum it up, it seemed they thought I might go over to Konkuk University Shelter. That’s why they were anxious. The two, who knew me, seemed to want to maintain a distance from that side while still keeping a cooperative relationship. Maintaining a relationship to that extent shouldn’t be a problem, but… “…Why did you think such things?” I genuinely became curious. They weren’t the type to act so stifled, so I wondered what made the two of them so anxious. “We’ve been relying on Seonghan from the very beginning until now.” “Not necessarily…” “Don’t you know? Ordinarily, we wouldn’t be able to eat and dress this well.” “And doctors or medicine aren’t easy to get either, are they?” “…That’s true. Medicine was hard to find, and I haven’t even seen a doctor.” The three men each offered a thought. Miri’s dad stroked his injured arm, his eyes dimming. “So what?” “In this situation, you brought significant and great success to Konkuk University Shelter. You’ll surely… receive good treatment. To an incomparable extent to here.” “You’re human too, so you might waver… that’s the thought. You’ve been the only one suffering. We’re grateful, but… what if you feel we’re a burden to you…?” Hyung, trailing off, puffed heavily on his cigarette. CEO Choi also didn’t speak readily. I slowly swallowed the cigarette smoke, observing the expressions on their faces. Their expressions were indifferent, but faint traces of apology and burden could be seen. …Anyway, they’re softhearted men. The cold-hearted, uncompromising businessman; the thorough, sensible popular actor. Where did that initial impression go? Seeing these men, who had become soft enough for Jibang to ask to be friends, a laugh burst forth. Seeing my smile, hyung, who had frowned, spoke calmly. “…You’re not a very talkative person either, you know.” “Am I?” “Yeah. I don’t know if that’s why, but you’ve hardly ever told us what you’re thinking.” “?? Me?” At my words, hyung complained to CEO Choi, saying, “See?!” CEO Choi also gently shook his head and gave a bitter smile. “Seonghan.” “…Yes.” “Seonghan has always single-handedly supported us when we were struggling or wavering.” “Oh…” “We’re very grateful.” “But! You never actually talked about yourself. Like, ‘I’ll do this!’ or ‘I wish it were like this!’ You never had anything like that.” “…….” Did I do that? I think hyung is mistaken about that… I thought I had lived quite as I pleased— “You’ve never explicitly said you wanted to be with us either.” “…….” “Shia said that. That you might leave any time and never come back.” “What kind of…” “At first, I just laughed it off, but now I’m starting to think that way too…” “Even grandfather-nim and grandmother-nim said that if Seonghan left, we should let him go without a word.” “…….” …This is more seriously important than I thought. To think those two had even considered such a thought. We’ve been getting along well without any issues until now, so why are they worrying about this all of a sudden? “You might be thinking, ‘Why are you thinking that now?’, but…” …Is he a ghost? “To that extent, we know a lot about you, yet there’s still much we don’t know.” “…….” “It means you feel close, yet distant.” “Ah…” “We’re living well and laughing thanks to you, but what about you…?” …Hyung seemed frustrated, yet a hint of bitterness lingered. Complex emotions could be felt in hyung’s gaze after he finished speaking. And it was warm. No sticky greed was felt in CEO Choi’s gaze either. I scratched the back of my head, feeling awkward. A communication problem, you could say. For a similar problem, I had held a knife to Captain Lee’s throat and chased after him, making such a fuss, but here I was, doing the same thing. …Thinking about it, it’s understandable that our group would feel uneasy. I had never explicitly stated that we were ‘the same group’. Up until now, we had merely been together. ‘…I was stupid.’ In the ensuing silence, I crushed the burnt-out cigarette in the ashtray. “I lived in a series of goshiwons for a long time.” I slowly opened my mouth. “I moved around frequently, so I didn’t feel much meaning in ‘home’. It was just a place to sleep and rest… a base? Something like that?” The three men silently focused on my words. “When I came back this morning… it felt warm. My heart relaxed, and I felt at ease.” I recounted what I felt, just as it was. “I thought, ‘So this is what home feels like’.” “You…” “I like it here.” I smiled softly and comfortably. “I like it here with everyone waiting, and I like the delicious food my grandmother makes. I’ll stay here with everyone. I have no business elsewhere.” At my words, hyung and CEO Choi smiled deeply. “Ugh… you know that’s cringe-inducing, right?” “I like hyung too.” “…Whoa?” The ‘liking’ I meant wasn’t *that* kind of liking. “Where else would I get to live under the same roof as a popular celebrity?” “Is, is that so?” “I told you before. I’m your fan, even if not an ardent one.” “Was that real?” “No, was it fake?” “I just thought it was superficial… you know…” “This hyung, seriously…” Hyung subtly pretended not to care, but his expression brightened. CEO Choi’s expression also seemed a bit brighter. “Neither Jihyeok nor I have easy personalities, but Seonghan is no slouch either.” “…I think it’s because I’ve spent a long time alone.” “Looking at it this way, that feeling is indeed strong. From now on, I should speak a bit more directly. Hahahaha~” “I apologize for making you worry unnecessarily.” At my apology, the two waved their hands. “Rather than that, it would be better to tell everyone.” “Junseong hyung. How about we have a drinking session?” “That would be good.” “Now that I’ve heard that, I feel like drinking.” “There’s alcohol??” We burst out laughing at Miri’s dad’s words, as he asked with delight. Planning to have a good time with everyone at the drinking session, the conversation roughly concluded. The details were to be discussed again later. For now, it was decided that the relationship with Konkuk University Shelter would be maintained in a moderately good way. As CEO Choi had said, it was something I had initially stepped up to do to help Konkuk University Shelter remain in a good sense. With the situation worsening now, the conversation flowed toward helping where we could. “Of course, Seonghan will be the main one, but we will also help with all our might.” “Yes.” “Hyung-nim. It’s like we’ve become Seonghan’s managers, isn’t it?” “Well, if you think about it, it’s not wrong.” “Hmm…” “Seonghan. What do you think? How about signing a contract with our JS Entertainment this time…” “…Huh?” “Oh… not bad, is it? Seonghan. Do you want to sign a contract with our company too? Our company is good.” “What’s this old man saying?” “The doors of our JS Entertainment are always open.” “…….” Confusing whether it was a joke or serious… It must be a joke, right? “The fundamental of the entertainment business is to fully support and back artists.” “…But I’m not an artist?” “It’s the same in that you’re an important human resource.” “Hmm.” “For that, close communication between us is important. So please, don’t take on everything alone from now on.” “…Understood.” “Good.” …I felt like I had been somehow persuaded, or perhaps reeled in. But I also felt a sense of reassurance on my shoulders. “But…” Taking advantage of the improved atmosphere, I subtly asked CEO Choi. “Is it really okay to strengthen our relationship with Konkuk University Shelter?” “Hmm~ This might sound strange, but there’s a reason.” “What is it?” “It’s a gut feeling.” “……What?” I didn’t know what kind of ‘feeling’ was popping up again. “When I do business, I tend to follow my gut feeling. I trust it.” “Um…” I learned that stocks and business aren’t done by gut feeling. I’ve actually seen many cases of people going bankrupt that way. “Junseong hyung’s gut feeling is trustworthy. I’ve profited a lot from it too.” “…Is that so?” “It sounds strange for a businessman to talk about gut feelings, right? But hyung-nim isn’t called the ‘Midas touch’ in the industry for nothing.” At hyung’s firm testimony, I looked at CEO Choi. He smirked. “It’s true.” ‘Wow…’ Perhaps because it was his field, he was brimming with confidence. I found myself convinced without realizing it. And I didn’t object further. I also wished for the place where Dr. Jang and Sergeant Kang were to do well. And if the pay was right, there was nothing I couldn’t do for them. They say if you earn a lot while you’re young, you’ll be comfortable later… “…Why?” My eyes met hyung’s, and he was grinning at me. “Is your grandmother’s cooking really that delicious?” “Yes.” “How much?” “A lot? If I had my way, I’d want to eat it every day. But since she’s getting old, it’s a bit…” “……Really?” “You really should have tried canned food and MREs, hyung.” “So that’s how it is?” “??” Hyung wore a smug smile that didn’t suit his face. Even until the conversation concluded favorably and we broke up, hyung didn’t wipe the smugness off his face. …It’s annoying that he still looks handsome even doing that. ‘Damn this world.’ The world is so unfair. Truly.