episode_0207

[Episode 203] – Pregnancy Diary (1)

Ever since I spoke an unbelievable truth to the ministers, I found it difficult to meet their eyes directly. Especially conversing with Bangsho was challenging.

Although their mannerisms and actions towards me remained the same, their gaze held a silent reprimand, as if saying, “This person was asked to raise a daughter, but look what happened…”

It wasn’t unreasonable for Bangsho to send such glances my way. After all, like me, Bangsho is someone who raised Titania as family. If I am Titania’s mother, then Bangsho could be likened to a grandfather figure.

From Bangsho’s perspective, perhaps when his granddaughter playfully said, “I’ll marry Mommy!” he dismissed it as mere playfulness, only to have me somehow impregnate her and declare, “I’m serious about this, you know?”

“Describe Bangsho’s feelings at that moment…”

As I helped Titania with paperwork, frustration mounting, I let out a deep sigh and leaned back in my chair, resting against the backrest. It felt like solving an unsolvable problem.

While other ministers still harbored suspicions about my relationship with Titania, they seemed to have agreed to address it after the child was born. Surely, Titania’s statement, “I will marry and bear a successor in five years,” played a role in this decision.

Of course, the premise was that the decision would be made after seeing the baby’s face. Given that the child would naturally resemble both Titania and me, I wasn’t particularly worried about that statement.

Moreover, worrying now would only lead to unnecessary headaches.

Rather, what I should be concerned about now…

Counting on my fingers, I exhaled deeply, staring at my folded hands. It had been slightly over a month since the evacuation lasted for ten days…

“Is it the fourth week of this month…?”

Strangely, since the day we established our relationship, I had thought that ‘that time of the month’ was delayed. Perhaps it had indeed arrived. The nature of that day was so irregular that I had completely forgotten about it.

Titania probably knew. That child, who was more accurate about my cycle than I was, surely couldn’t have been unaware. Truly, one of her mischievous traits was knowing but not revealing.

“Pregnancy… I’m pregnant…”

Sitting almost slouched in my chair, I absentmindedly touched my slightly swollen lower abdomen, trying to determine whether it was due to weight gain or the presence of a child. It didn’t feel real to me at all.

When I first entered Vivian’s body, I never expected that I would be able to get pregnant. There were no men around, and my life was busy raising Titania.

“It just doesn’t feel real…”

Nevertheless, it wasn’t a bad feeling. Just the thought of having a child with someone I love allowed me to dream of a brighter future. Imagining the three of us walking together with the soon-to-be-born child was delightful.

Lost in various thoughts about the upcoming child, as I gently touched my slightly bloated lower belly, a sudden sound interrupted me as Titania and the physician entered together.

…My current appearance was indeed a bit peculiar.

Almost lying in the chair, fiddling with my belly, it wasn’t the most flattering sight. The physician, avoiding eye contact, quickly lowered his head, not wanting to capture my image.

Titania, for some reason finding something amusing, stared at me intently before approaching with a giggle, pinching my side lightly. Then, she leaned in close to my ear, whispering in a playful tone.

“It’s not time for your belly to show yet. So, this is just a simple belly from Mommy eating too much cake lately. I like the soft feeling when you touch it.”

“Can you please be quiet…?”

As I growled, Titania finally removed her hand from my belly. Lately, I had been wondering why she always touched my stomach whenever we slept together. I had thought she was just dreaming about the baby inside.

When I stopped growling at Titania, a doctor approached me with a fake cough. Then, with a chuckle, he began to awkwardly compliment me on my appearance.

“Chuckling, stroking the belly is one of the good prenatal education methods. By stroking the belly, you are communicating with the baby inside. If you do it often, the baby will surely like it.”

…Come to think of it, I guess I have to do prenatal education too.

Isn’t there too much to do than I thought…?

But how do you do prenatal education? There was a vague knowledge that playing classical music or reading fairy tales was good for prenatal education. Of course, this was knowledge from before coming here.

“…What’s good to do for prenatal education?”

“Well, usually playing music is recommended, but…”

The doctor, who started examining my body slowly, chuckled and continued speaking.

“The prenatal education method I recommend is writing a diary.”

“A diary?”

“Yes, during pregnancy, write down your daily experiences and emotions in a diary. Write about what you did for prenatal education today, how you felt today, and things related to the baby.”

“Hmm…”

Is writing a diary considered prenatal education? As I looked at the doctor with a slightly puzzled look, he examined my body well, chuckled, and continued explaining about prenatal education.

“Of course, it’s important not only to write about your own emotions but also to communicate with the baby through the diary. Prenatal education is about communication. It’s good to write as if you’re talking to the baby while writing in the diary.”

“Communication…”

“And showing the written diary to the baby is also good. The pregnancy period is a difficult and challenging time for pregnant women, but when the baby is born, it will surely become a good memory.”

“A memory…”

“What’s important for pregnant women is not to stress. Of course, that’s the most difficult thing, but if you have a hard time, please feel free to talk to me anytime. Stability is crucial for the baby.”

“…Okay, got it.”

After finishing the examination, the doctor smiled reassuringly, nodded his head, and stood up from his seat. He seemed to be giving advice based on experience, typical of a royal physician.

“A diary for prenatal education…”

Indeed, it wouldn’t be bad to read a diary to the baby who will be born. Confirming that the doctor had left the office, I took out a large notebook that I hadn’t used before from the drawer and looked at it.

“It seems like it will be good memories.”

Saying that, I looked at Titania, who was smiling beside me. There was a radiant smile on Titania’s face. Lately, it had been even harder to see her not smiling.

“…You know you’ll have to work hard in the future too, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t consider it hard work.”

Well, that’s fortunate then.

Placing the notebook that I could use for diary writing on the desk, I leaned back in my chair and let out a deep sigh. Then, Titania came between me and the desk and perched on the edge of the desk.

When I raised my head, our eyes met with Titania. Seeing her eyes gently curved in happiness, I couldn’t help but smile too. As Titania’s hand gently touched my cheek, I involuntarily closed my eyes to feel the warmth of her palm.

To feel the warmth on the palm that touched my cheek, I tilted my head to the side, feeling the slender fingers stroking my cheek. For a moment, Titania and I silently felt each other’s warmth.

“…Thank you, Mother.”

“……”

Now, what are you talking about at this point? Yeah, you should be grateful to me. Where else can you find someone who does so much for you? I raised you, clothed you, loved you, and now I’m even giving birth to your child.

Indeed, it seemed like I had lived my life solely for Titania.

I will continue to live my life for Titania. Just as I thought that, I felt a soft touch of lips on my forehead. Then, in a serious tone that she usually didn’t use, she confessed to me.

“And I love you.”

“Cook.”

For some reason, her confession of love made me want to laugh.

Unintentionally, I chuckled. Perhaps the usual “I love you” sounded sweeter today because of the atmosphere, or maybe it was because the feelings behind it were different. Or perhaps both were true.

Chuckling softly, I slowly opened my eyes.

As my laughter seemed to break the serious mood, Titania’s cheeks puffed out in a pout. I didn’t mean to laugh. But somehow, laughter escaped me.

Still smiling, I gently stroked Titania’s cheek as she turned her head away from me, avoiding my gaze. Did she think I was treating her like a child? I didn’t intend that.

To dispel Titania’s sulky mood, I said, “Yes, I love you too.”

I reached out my arms, encircled Titania’s neck, lifted her chin, and kissed her lips. It wasn’t a deep kiss like we usually shared at night; it was a brief, gentle peck.

As our lips parted, Titania’s lips pursed as if disappointed. We pressed our foreheads together instead of our lips, looking into each other’s eyes, and couldn’t help but smile at the rising sense of happiness.

All my joy in life comes solely from you.

“Hehe.”

Releasing my hands from around her neck, I slowly cupped Titania’s face. Playfully, we lightly bumped our lips together, and Titania responded by lightly kissing my lips.

Matching each other’s movements, we kissed again, with Titania almost competing, playfully bumping her lips against mine. Like birds pecking at food, we left traces of affection on each other’s lips and cheeks.

As the kissing continued, we grew tired and paused to catch our breath. When our eyes met, we kissed again, fueled by simmering emotions. What started as playful kisses soon turned into passionate longing.

Exploring each other’s lips with licks and sucks, we exchanged heavy breaths through parted lips. Now familiar, our open mouths intertwined tongues, seeking each other’s taste.

The hands that had gently cradled our faces now clung tightly, and as our tongues entwined further, our arms wrapped around each other’s necks to draw closer to the one we loved.

“…Come to think of it, I’m pregnant, so I should refrain for a while.”

While closing my eyes and intertwining tongues, I suddenly remembered what the doctor had said. Stability is crucial for the baby. Therefore, for now, the daily indulgent activities must be forbidden.

“I… well, I can endure it, of course.”

…Probably.