episode_0202

It was midday, with the sun high in the sky, and I was on my way to the dining hall to have lunch.

“My mood is particularly awful today.”

Normally, I would have been with my friends, but today, Abel and his group had rushed off to the wedding hall to persuade Alisa, so they weren’t around. Thanks to that, I was destined to eat alone in solitude.

Just as I was strolling along, grumbling to myself,

“Stop!”

A familiar voice called out, and a figure descended from the sky. It was Deborah.

After hearing my harsh words, she hadn’t shown herself even once until now, and of all times, she appeared today, at this hour. I felt a strange unease and guilt, unconsciously taking a step back.

Deborah compressed the broom she had ridden on with a single touch, then slipped it into her pocket as she approached.

“Ruan. Why are you here?”

“…What are you talking about?”

“Alisa’s wedding is today, isn’t it? Aren’t you going?”

Deborah was calm. As if the scene of her collapsing and bursting into tears had been a lie. That’s why I couldn’t let my guard down.

“Why would I go there? There’s no reason for me to go.”

“Why not? She’s your friend. You should go congratulate her. Come on, let’s go together.”

She held out her hand. Looking at that beautiful hand, I felt an impulse to abandon all useless worries and do as I pleased. But doing so would only endanger everyone and lead to regret.

The moment I put aside my thoughts and raised my head, Deborah smiled playfully and provoked me.

“Are you scared?”

“What?”

“I asked if you’re scared. Are you afraid you’ll put the people around you in danger again?”

Her violet eyes shone transparently. That gaze, reminiscent of the surface of a frozen winter lake, seemed to pierce through my innermost thoughts.

Feeling instantly exposed, I feigned nonchalance and denied it.

“Not at all? What do I care if people around me get into danger? As long as I’m fine, that’s enough. But with what nerve do you show yourself in front of me? Didn’t I make it clear enough for you to understand? I told you I’m not interested in you!”

Deborah bowed her head at the torrent of abuse. Just as I bit my lip tightly, guilty for having hurt her again, she raised her head with a smiling face.

“Stop lying.”

“Huh…? What are you… ”

“I already heard everything from Teacher-nim. About what kind of deal you two made.”

“…You heard?”

“Yes. So, stop doing that now. It’s useless.”

I never thought Roxana would reveal the truth. Although I felt empty at the fact that she had made the request herself and then broken the promise first, I also felt an inexplicable sense of relief. However, even if that were the case, my resolve remained unchanged. I shouldn’t be with Deborah.

“Then you should understand even better. Why I’m pushing you away. It’s dangerous to be with me. You never know when the Dark Church will target you. I… I can’t protect you.”

Because I’m too weak. Was my inability to utter the last part due to stubborness, not wanting to appear weak in front of the woman I like?

As I swallowed my miserable feelings and gazed at her, a completely unexpected answer came.

“Why protect me?”

“What?”

“I asked why you’d protect me. Ruan, you’re weaker than me.”

What did I just hear? Unable to comprehend her words for a moment due to cognitive dissonance, I finally spoke after a long but brief silence.

“……What did you say?”

“What’s that expression? Did you really think you were stronger, Ruan? Not at all. If we fought, I’d win.”

“……”

Her confidently smiling face was infuriating. I didn’t want to assert my pride over something like this, but I simply couldn’t let it go.

“Hey, you’d beat me? How? If I use the Rape Declaration and Incarnation, I’d just win against you, wouldn’t I? Huh? Illusion magic doesn’t even work.”

“It’s not that illusion magic doesn’t work *at all*. It just doesn’t apply to your physical body, but it can be applied to the environment. And you can’t even use the Rape Declaration anyway.”

“Why not?”

The Rape Declaration, literally, only required the opponent to recognize it, so I wondered why she said I couldn’t use it. To that question, Deborah simply replied.

“That’s because I love you, Ruan.”

“You… you say things like that so casually?”

“Because it’s true. Anyway, the conditions for the Rape Declaration won’t be met. So there’s no way, right? You wouldn’t think I’d personally use magic to help you during a fight, would you?”

I simply couldn’t refute this. Without Deborah’s magic, I would just enjoy her chewy treasure to my heart’s content, and then receive a penalty when the time limit expired. Well, that would be enjoyable enough, but this wasn’t a matter of likes or dislikes.

“Th-that’s… true, but I can still win without the Rape Declaration?”

“No. Not at all. I just have to run away until your Incarnation wears off, you know?”

As if to prove her point, Deborah used magic to summon clones. They were such elaborate illusions that it was hard to tell which one was real at a glance. In a real situation, I’d hesitate and lose my chance. I was genuinely flustered.

“Wow, that’s really cheap.”

“Even if it’s cheap, winning is all that matters, isn’t it? See? I’m stronger, right?”

“Hmph… I’m speechless.”

I had completely lost the verbal battle. Indeed, if the fight proceeded as Deborah said, it wouldn’t be easy for me to win. My abilities, while incredibly effective, came with significant penalties, so anyone who understood them could easily exploit them. Still, persuasion was possible.

“Alright. I get it, you’re stronger than me. But even so, I can’t be with you.”

“Why?”

“Because if the Dark Church targets you, that level of strength isn’t nearly enough. Right now, Alisa was kidnapped. If they act like that, there’s nothing we can do. How are you going to deal with that?”

There was no basis for saying Deborah was weaker than Alisa, but mages typically show their true worth when prepared. If she were suddenly ambushed, there was even a chance she’d be defeated more easily. I sharply pointed out that weakness, but Deborah possessed something Alisa did not.

“I can just call Teacher-nim.”

“Teacher-nim?”

“Yes. As soon as I see the Dark Church, if I call Teacher-nim, she’ll probably be here in three seconds, you know?”

“…What if you can’t call?”

“It actually doesn’t matter even then. Alisa was kidnapped because her travel routes were exposed while she was attending the academy to learn sword dancing. But I only go back and forth between the Academy and the Magic Tower. Plus, I don’t go out anywhere in the evenings. So there’s no problem.”

Having finished her explanation, Deborah confidently puffed out her chest, as if daring me to refute her.

Cold sweat trickled down my back.

‘Damn it. Of all things, she’s a homebody!’

If Deborah were an “insider” who went out with friends every day, it would be different, but since she was a homebody who locked herself in her room and focused solely on research, I couldn’t think of any way to refute her. In the end, I had no choice but to admit that my judgment was wrong.

“Haa… alright. I thought wrong. I didn’t need to protect you.”

“That’s not it.”

“Huh?”

As I tilted my head at her firm words, Deborah hugged me close, wrapping her arms around my waist.

“I’m not saying don’t protect me. I’m just asking you to trust me.”

“Trust you?”

“Yes. Don’t try to bear everything alone; lean on me. Not just as a simple collaborator, but as a true comrade.”

“……”

Comrade. That single word felt heavy. In truth, until now, Deborah had been nothing more than a tool to free him from the penalty of the Rape Declaration, rather than a comrade. Of course, he hadn’t treated her as a tool, but that was the reality of the situation. That’s why he could give her up without regret in situations where he had to push her away, and he hadn’t doubted that judgment in the slightest.

I realized anew. ‘I was truly selfish.’

Relationships aren’t one-sided. They are formed only when two people face each other. In that sense, trying to unilaterally sever the relationship was truly nothing short of a selfish and terrible act.

I embraced Deborah by the shoulders.

“I’m sorry. For acting so arbitrarily.”

“…It’s okay. The one who loves more should yield.”

“Thank you.”

“I thank you too.”

We exchanged warmth in that embrace for a moment.

After a few minutes passed, Deborah gently pushed me away and spoke.

“So, what are you going to do now?”

“Huh?”

“I mean Alisa! You’re not just going to leave her like this, are you?”

“No, I have to save her.”

Alisa’s life, which should have smoothly progressed with Abel and freed her from her family’s influence, had become a mess because she met me. I couldn’t say it was all my fault, but I couldn’t say I had no fault at all. I had to take at least some responsibility. It didn’t matter if I received no reward. There was someone who loved me and would never betray me in any situation, and that person wished for me to save her. That alone was enough reason to act.

“That’s a good thought.”

At my resolve, Deborah stretched out her hand and stroked my head.

This time, I asked in return.

“But are *you* okay?”

“Me?”

“Yes. You know what method I’ll use to save Alisa. Are you still okay with that?”

Alisa was currently at the wedding hall. It would be impossible to get her out using normal methods. And foolish me could only think of one way.

Deborah grinned.

“I’m okay.”

“Why?”

“That’s precisely why I fell for you, Ruan. So I’m okay.”

“Deborah….”

Her face was dazzling. Even as I squinted my eyes at such brilliance, wondering if someone like me dared to face it, I irreverently placed my hand on her cheek.

Her red lips filled my vision.

“I love you, Ruan.”

“…I love you too.”

I whispered my love to Deborah and then covered her lips with mine.

“Mmm…”

A small nasal sound escaped. Excited by her adorable groan, I pushed my tongue between her slightly parted lips.

Her warm mouth was the first to welcome my tongue, and her own tongue, reaching out belatedly, carefully wrapped around mine.

At her uncharacteristic assertiveness, I chuckled and intertwined our tongues even deeper.

Continuing to kiss as if enchanted, losing track of time, I belatedly remembered Alisa and pulled my lips away.

“Haa…”

“Huuu…”

A long, silver thread connected our lips before breaking.

“Ruaan…”

Deborah called my name. Her face was soft and melting from the aftermath of the kiss.

I tidied her disheveled hair.

“Deborah. Snap out of it. We have to go now.”

“Huh?”

“We have to go save Alisa. Snap out of it.”

As I lightly patted her cheek, the sharpness returned to her hazy violet eyes.

“Oh, oh… Yes! L-let’s go quickly!”

Deborah, having snapped out of it, blushed deep red in embarrassment and took out her usual broom.

Then she asked cautiously.

“Ru-Ruan. But, you know…”

“Yes. Why?”

“A-are we… s-starting today?”

The sight of her timidly extending her index finger was so cute it drove me crazy.

I smiled fondly and shook my head.

“No. Sorry, but we can’t date.”

“Huh?”

Clatter! Perhaps it was an unexpected answer, as Deborah let out a dumbfounded sound and dropped her broom.