episode_0200

[Episode 196] – Joy I Already Know

Since Titania asked me to bear a child, I spent more than half of my day lost in that thought. Even in the middle of the night, Titania’s words to me kept swirling in my head.

“Please bear my child, Mother.”

“Think calmly and speak comfortably. Do you have the desire to bear my child?”

Is this what it feels like when common sense crumbles? I had been thinking that even if I were to have a successor someday, Titania might adopt a child or bring in a distant relative of the royal family.

I never naturally thought that a ‘child’ would come between Titania and me. After all, Titania and I are both ‘women’ biologically. Women cannot have a child together biologically!

However, Titania, out of her excessive love for me, found a way to surpass that common sense. She said she learned it from ‘Morgan’, so surely there must be a way for a child to be born between Titania and me.

When did Morgan tell Titania? When did Titania ask Morgan? Moreover, what is this ‘method’ that makes it possible for ‘only me’ to become pregnant, not just Titania?

…Suddenly, a chilling thought crossed my mind.

“S-Surely, it can’t be, it can’t be that Titania has… a man’s thing…?”

It was my own unfounded imagination, but it was so chilling that it was almost frightening. It even gave me a feeling as if my blood ran cold. Can magic really change the body like clay at will?

The reason I had such thoughts was because, based on my knowledge, I couldn’t think of a way for women to have a child together. To conceive, the most important ‘seed’ is needed.

Usually, men have that seed, and something like a stick to put that seed in is also necessary. So, to create a child between women, wouldn’t there be a need for something like a man’s thing?

“…What kind of imagination am I having?”

Is it because of my vulgar imagination that I exhaled a deep sigh while washing my face, overwhelmed by self-loathing? No matter how much I agonized, the answer did not come. Was there ever an answer to this situation in the first place?

“Sigh…”

…To be honest, having a child was fine.

After all, isn’t a child the fruition of love? If a child resembling both me and Titania were to be born, that child would undoubtedly be the most lovable in the world.

But the thought of being pregnant and giving birth scared me suddenly. Pregnant? Even though I’ve never experienced pregnancy, I naturally knew how difficult and painful it would be to give birth.

The appearance of morning sickness made it difficult to eat properly, and my belly swelled so much that walking became difficult. And how painful it must be to give birth. These were all facts I knew through stories and sex education.

“…Ah, so that’s why Titania asked me that way back then.”

As I pondered this, I suddenly remembered what Titania had said to me before.

In response to my question about how she would secure a successor, Titania had answered like this: “I have a thought.” At a frustrating moment when she wouldn’t reveal that thought, Titania had asked me this:

“If a child were to be conceived between us, Mother, how do you think you would feel?”

At the time, I just thought it was a joke. After all, there was no way a child could be conceived between Titania and me. I simply took it as one of Titania’s mischievous jokes. Even though it wasn’t a joke.

“Consider that the fruit of our love is inside here. Imagine a baby with our blood running through its veins, growing and beating its tiny heart inside your womb. How would you feel then?”

At the time, I considered it a meaningless hypothesis. How did I respond to that question back then? My response at that time was surely not much different from my current response. I remember how I answered Titania back then—

“…Well, wouldn’t it be lovely?”

I definitely replied that it would be lovely.

“If I think of the child as being just like you, it will surely be lovely.”

Even if Titania were to ask me the same question now, I would give the same answer as before. That a truly lovely child will be born. Without a doubt, they will be loved by everyone.

“Well, I do have that thought…”

After letting out a small sigh, I lowered my head and looked down at the sleeping Titania, who had buried her face in my chest. Breathing softly in her sleep, she looked no different from her childhood self.

“She was so adorable when she was young.”

Of course, she is still cute, pretty, and lovely now, but Titania as a child was unbelievably adorable. I felt it was worth dedicating my life to her.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve come to understand the joy of raising a child while raising Titania. If a child were to be born between Titania and me, the image of raising that child already seemed to be vivid in my mind.

The sight of a newborn nestled in my arms, babbling incomprehensibly, or the first appearance of a tiny white tooth in the baby’s mouth, or the first time they coo “mom” – these images kept coming to mind, leaving a smile on my face. I would surely be happy if a child were to be born between Titania and me. I am happy now, but wouldn’t I be even happier if a child were to be born?

“…What should I do, really?”

However, reality wasn’t so rosy. If I were to have a child, the officials would undoubtedly first suspect my “infidelity.” They would criticize that a queen had given birth to a child even her husband didn’t know about.

No matter how much Titania might protect me, it was uncertain whether the child born under such suspicion would become the “heir.” Titania said it would be okay since a child just like her would be born, but…

“If it were that easy to resolve, I wouldn’t be worrying like this.”

Is that why?

I suddenly became afraid that the child born between Titania and me would grow up not with love, but with persecution and reprimand. There’s no way Titania wouldn’t know that I’m having these concerns…

Is Titania not worried about that, or am I thinking too deeply? If not, does Titania want to have a child with me even if something like that happens?

I slowly lowered my hand and began to gently stroke my still slender lower abdomen. If I were to become pregnant, would the baby grow here? A child who resembles both Titania and me equally?

“Haha… really, maybe I’m crazy too.”

Unconsciously, I laughed at such a thought.

“Please think calmly and tell me comfortably if you want to have my child.”

Do I want to have a child?

The question was meaningless to me, as I already imagined us, Titania, a child who is equally a mix of her and me, living happily together until we are three.

I didn’t know much about giving birth, but I wanted a child. A child who resembled Titania and me. I wanted to create a younger sibling so that the eldest wouldn’t be lonely.

With such thoughts, I began to count in my head, folding my fingers and starting to calculate. When was the last day? It was probably about 11 days ago, and it lasted for about 4 days…

“Usually, the fertile period is said to be 3-4 days before and after ovulation. So, my fertile period is…”

Ah, it’s now.

The moment I realized that my body was in its fertile period, a thrilling sensation surged from my toes to the top of my head. The intense excitement was overwhelming, yet it felt good.

If we have relations today, will she get pregnant? Titania’s child? I don’t know what method it is, but if we have relations during her fertile period as Titania mentioned, wouldn’t I become pregnant?

And my fertile period starts today.

“…Titania. Wake up for a moment.”

“…? What’s going on all of a sudden…?”

I gently tapped Titania’s forehead with my palm as she raised her head, looking at me with drowsy eyes due to the sudden situation.

How should I say it? Suddenly, it wasn’t easy to bring this story out. Ask me to impregnate you? I couldn’t bring myself to say such embarrassing words. How on earth should I bring up the words…!

“Well, well… You said there was a way, didn’t you?”

“…Yes? A way…?”

“Oh, there is… You told me…”

Titania seemed not fully awake, slowly blinking her eyes. Should I have waited until she woke up to talk about this? There’s still plenty of time until the fertile period ends, so why was I in such a hurry?

Continuing to gently pat Titania’s forehead, I pondered how to speak. However, Titania, as if genuinely unaware, buried her head in my chest again and seemed to drift back to sleep.

“So… So…”

“If it comes to mind, please tell me… or wait until you wake up…”

“Oh, wait… that… ”

As Titania closed her eyes again, as if about to fall asleep, I whispered as if to myself. If I didn’t talk about it now, it seemed like it would take a long time for me to gather the courage again.

“That… about the method of… getting pregnant…”

“…? Yes?”

At the mention of pregnancy, Titania’s eyes, which had been heavy with drowsiness just moments ago, suddenly widened. Uncomfortable with her gaze, I avoided looking at Titania.

“Well… after calculating… it’s probably the fertile period from today… so, if we want to get pregnant, now might be the chance… so…”

Due to the embarrassment that surged through me, I felt like I wanted to disappear right away. I awkwardly scratched my cheek, then whispered into Titania’s ear.

“Um, maybe… now is the chance to get me pregnant…?”

After that, everything went as I expected. Titania, succumbing to my provocation, immediately rose and covered my lips. Breathless, our mouths met, tongues intertwining.

Just as I was about to lose my breath, Titania released my lips, gazing down at me with a sensual smile. Then, she lowered her head, whispering as our lips met.

“Then… we can’t miss that opportunity.”

“Sigh… I guess so…?”

“…The fertile period was about a week, right?”

Tatiana whispered with a sound of lips meeting, giving a mischievous wink. After her words, I felt a slight regret as if I had provocatively said something unnecessary.

“For the next four days, don’t even think about going outside.”

“Uh…”

“Until a baby is conceived in your mother’s womb, we will continue, day and night, again and again, having sex.”