episode_0196

Ruan Friuli came to find her.

It was both pleasing and resentful that he was the last face she would see.

He held out a piece of paper.

[Withdrawal Application.]

“What is this?”

“……”

“Are you really going to withdraw? What’s the reason?”

His hand tightly clasped, as if he would never let go until she told him. If he wanted to hold onto her this badly, he shouldn’t have revealed his identity in the first place.

Alisa, having thought this countless times, calmly spilled the truth.

“I’m getting married.”

“What? Married?”

“Yes. Married.”

Ruan’s eyes widened in shock.

He shook his head in disbelief and let out a hollow laugh.

“Ha! You’re joking, right?”

“It’s all true. When I return to the family, I’ll be getting married. That’s why I withdrew.”

“So suddenly? What’s the reason?”

“Reason?”

“Yes! There must be a reason!”

Ruan, agitated, shouted roughly.

When she had desperately clung to him, he had cruelly pushed her away, but now that she was going to another man, was he regretting it belatedly?

As their positions reversed, a grotesque impulse stirred within her, along with a slight sense of superiority.

‘I want to hurt him.’

As much as she had been hurt. No, she wanted to leave an even deeper wound in the man’s heart.

So, she wanted to make him never forget it for the rest of his life.

No matter what he did, no matter what woman he met later, no matter how much time passed, she wanted to give him a memory that wouldn’t fade.

Alisa couldn’t overcome the impulse.

“Are you asking because you don’t know?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s because of you. Because of you, I’ve become useless, so they’re trying to dispose of me quickly. Before my value drops even further.”

“…What?”

“You knew, didn’t you? That I was ultimately destined to be sold off. Didn’t you know that and do what you did?”

“……”

Ruan’s face was tinged with guilt.

Seeing his distorted expression, her heart strangely ached.

It wasn’t satisfying or enjoyable, but rather so sad, so very sad, that she felt a desire to hug him and comfort him.

That made her so angry.

It was ridiculous that she alone couldn’t let go of her lingering feelings, even though he had no such intentions.

Therefore, she continued speaking even more maliciously.

“How do you feel now? Good? Aren’t you glad a troublesome woman like me is going to disappear?”

“I…”

“You’ll probably never see me again. Ah, but you’ll occasionally hear news. How I marry a shabby old man, get pregnant with his child, and give birth. You’ll know all about that. Please bless me then, okay?”

“……”

Ruan didn’t answer.

His gaze was fixed on Alisa, but his mind was envisioning something else.

That was the future.

Just as she had said, he was glimpsing the process of her marrying someone, becoming pregnant, and giving birth.

Alisa felt a stinging pain in a corner of her chest as she pulled Ruan’s hand away.

“Then I’ll be going now. I’m busy preparing for the wedding.”

The moment she turned her back.

“No! Stop!”

Ruan, startled back to his senses, hastily reached out and grabbed her collar.

However, his grip was very weak.

Unlike before, when it felt like it would never release, now it was so weak that a slight shake would make him fall away.

Alisa stared straight at him.

“Let go.”

“Alisa…”

“I said let go? Can you take responsibility for this action now?”

“That…”

“You can’t, can you? No, you won’t. You coward. So let go.”

The way to save her with his identity as Ruan Friuli was both very simple and very difficult.

And Ruan had no intention of doing it.

Struck in the heart by the sharply honed barb, he let go of Alisa of his own volition.

Alisa left one last curse.

“I… I hope you live a life of eternal suffering. So don’t forget me. Anywhere, anytime.”

With those words, Alisa got into the carriage.

Ruan, left alone, remained motionless for a long time even after the carriage departed.

*

“Ruan!”

“Hey, what happened?”

“What about Alisa?”

After barely composing himself and returning to the academy, Abel and his companions, who had been waiting, barraged him with questions.

Their main concern, as expected, was about Alisa.

Uni, especially, wouldn’t stay still for a moment, looking around as if asking why he came alone.

“…I’m sorry.”

“What are you suddenly talking about? What are you sorry for?”

“I couldn’t stop Alisa.”

“What? Are you too late? Is she no longer at the academy?”

“No, it’s not that. Haa…”

What should I say?

I couldn’t reveal that I had raped Alisa, so to explain, I would have to hide or distort too much.

After diligently editing in my mind, I chose only the core details and spoke.

“First, it’s true that Alisa withdrew. The reason is marriage.”

“Marriage? Alisa is getting married?”

“Yes. She said she would be getting married after convalescing at her family estate.”

“T-That can’t be true?”

Uni immediately denied my explanation.

Knowing that Alisa loved Eunrang, she couldn’t believe that she was marrying another man.

She probably wouldn’t guess that I was that Eunrang.

“It’s true. I heard it directly from her. It’s probably something Count Bretes ordered.”

“You, you heard that and just let her go? Why?”

“Then what was I supposed to do?”

“T-That…”

Uni, who had been indiscriminately arguing, faltered and stepped back at my cold response.

Abel stepped forward in her place.

“Ruan. Do you happen to know who she’s marrying?”

“No, she didn’t tell me that.”

“Nothing at all? No hints?”

At that question, a single phrase instantly came to mind.

‘A shabby old man… was that what she said?’

Alisa had self-mockingly murmured that the only marriage prospects available to someone who had lost all value due to mana backflow were places like that.

Indeed, just as she said, only such men would accept a bastard child with no special talents.

As I smiled bitterly, Abel, seeming to read my true feelings from my expression, asked again seriously.

“There is, isn’t there? What kind of person is it? Huh?”

“…There’s nothing like that.”

“Don’t lie! Quickly! Tell me who it is. Otherwise, I won’t let you go.”

“You…”

Abel, who was usually quiet and moderate, showed a stubborn attitude. It meant he treasured Alisa as a friend that much.

After contemplating, I finally decided to tell him.

Anyway, even if I didn’t say anything, the rumors would spread on their own soon enough.

“It’s probably an older noble.”

“Older? How old?”

“…I don’t know exactly. But at least middle-aged or older.”

“Middle-aged? Then that’s almost double her age! Why? Why are they marrying Alisa to such an old man? There are so many better matches!”

Abel wore an expression of genuine incomprehension. To his understanding, it made no sense to marry off a cherished daughter to an old man.

But the criteria for ‘good’ are different for everyone.

For Count Bretes, a ‘good’ marriage prospect was simply someone wealthy and powerful, and at the same time, easy to manipulate.

In that sense, a lecherous old man would be very easy to sway.

I didn’t bother to explain that to Abel.

“Don’t argue with me. What am I supposed to do when that’s the reality?”

“Even so, I can’t accept this!”

“If you can’t? What are you going to do?”

Even I, the eldest son of a Marquis, would barely be able to bring her back, and only by paying a great price. What could a mere promising commoner do?

I acted cynically for no reason.

I was unconsciously unleashing my built-up stress on an easy target.

And Abel gave an answer I couldn’t have imagined.

“I’ll go find her! I’ll go and persuade her. And I’ll bring Alisa back!”

“……”

For a moment, I was speechless.

It was an absurd and, therefore, not easily accomplished action.

At such a declaration, one that only someone truly convinced they were the protagonist of this world would make, I couldn’t help but let out a snicker.

‘He was always like this, wasn’t he?’

I truly envied that drive of his.

But that’s that, and reality isn’t solved by willpower alone.

“How are you going to meet her?”

“How do I meet her? Well, I’ll go to her family estate and…”

“Do you think the Count would let you meet Alisa? Of course, he’d order his guards to kick you out.”

“Then if I sneak in…”

“Are you kidding me? There must be knights everywhere. More importantly, even if you did manage to sneak in, what would you say to persuade Alisa?”

“Mmm…”

Abel let out a small groan.

No matter how headstrong he was, being pointed out like this, he had no choice but to drop his stubbornness.

I patted Abel’s shoulder.

“I know how you feel. But there’s no way. So just give up.”

“But…”

“Class is about to start. Let’s go in.”

I tried to lead Abel, who still hadn’t given up hope, towards the classroom.

“Is there really no way?”

If it hadn’t been Deborah’s voice, that is.

At the sudden appearance of this unexpected obstacle, I swallowed a sigh and turned my back.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Ruan, don’t you have a way? A very simple one at that.”

“…There’s no such thing.”

“Liar!”

Deborah denied it without a shred of hesitation.

There was certainty in her violet eyes. The certainty that I could solve this problem.

I instinctively knew I couldn’t avoid it.

“…Follow me. Let’s talk alone.”

“All right. Sorry everyone, but you go on ahead. See you later.”

We waited until the group left, and only when all signs of their presence vanished did we resume talking.

“Deborah, you know. You know why I’m doing this.”

“I know. That’s why I understand even less. Why aren’t you helping Alisa?”

“Because Alisa doesn’t want it.”

“Really? Did she genuinely tell you not to help her?”

No, she hadn’t.

She had merely scoffed at me with all her might, despairing of her own situation.

I hastily blurted out an excuse.

“She didn’t say it that directly. But she said her life was ruined because of me. She said she hoped I’d suffer forever! Even if I tried to step in, Alisa would reject me.”

“That’s just you presuming. In truth, she probably wants your help.”

Deborah, as if it were obvious, easily denied my words again.

That, fueled my anger.

Already under great stress from the confusing situation, I couldn’t help but get angry with her continuously pressing the issue.

I finally lost my composure.

“What do you know to spout such nonsense? Huh? Do you have any proof? Do you?!”

“I don’t need proof. I can just tell by looking.”

Deborah gazed intently at me.

Even though her words were clearly illogical and lacked credibility, there was a firm belief etched in her eyes.

To the extent that I, too, unknowingly thought, ‘Perhaps she might be right.’

And agitated by that momentary wavering, I ended up spewing harsh words.

“Damn it! Are you messing with me? Do you think everything just happens if you insist? Stop talking nonsense!”

“It’s not nonsense.”

“Then show me proof! How am I supposed to believe you without any proof?!”

As I repeatedly pressured her, Deborah’s eyes became moist.

She looked at me as if she were about to cry, then carefully took my hand and placed it on her chest.

Thump! Thump!

A vigorous heartbeat was conveyed.

Deborah simply let her heartbeat be heard, exchanging only gazes.

I felt like I understood what that meant.

‘Damn it.’

Feeling immense joy along with fear, I hastily shook off Deborah’s hand.

“You, wha-what are you doing? Why did you suddenly put my hand on your chest?”

“This is the proof. Do you understand?”

“No? I don’t understand? Talking to you makes me feel strange too. Let’s stop.”

Feeling a sense of crisis I’d never experienced before, I abruptly ended the conversation and turned away.

It was before I had even taken a few steps.

“I love you!”

Deborah confessed her feelings.

At this, the second confession he had received in his life, he involuntarily stopped walking for a moment.

That was a mistake.

Deborah, not wanting to miss this opportunity, quickly ran over and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I love you, Ruan. I truly mean it.”

“……”

I couldn’t say anything.