episode_0180

[Episode 180: Not Handcuffs.]

“So, then, what about Heeseon? Is she resting at home? She’s always glued to you, so why did she come alone today?”

“Uh… well… Oh! Ahem…! Heeseon got a bit sick after the banquet. She needs to rest all morning. After lunch, she has to meet the fairies who helped with wrapping up the banquet and also go see His Majesty to discuss some matters. She might get busy after resting for a few days.”

“Haha, I see… Well, hosting such a banquet must have been exhausting.”

“……”

In reality, I told my teacher a little white lie.

Heeseon getting sick was all because of me…

From the early hours after the banquet until now, whenever there was a chance, I tormented her as much as I pleased…

I drank a lot that night, lost control due to intoxication, and Heeseon, dressed in winged attire, looked exceptionally beautiful that day…

Taking Heeseon, dressed in winged clothes, who danced like a celestial nymph into the bedroom…

Ahem…

To top it off, Heeseon subtly seduced me, making it even harder to resist.

Perhaps due to not being properly relieved after teasing her breasts before going to the palace, there had been pent-up desires.

I became irritable without realizing it, almost snapping at the fairies below.

Ha… Anyway, these past few days have been a repetitive cycle of feeling dizzy like a monkey with a sore back.

She wore those airy, beautiful winged clothes and danced the enchanting maze dance of curves, and beneath me, she moaned sweetly just like that day…

How can I possibly endure this?

When presenting the dance, it didn’t seem provocative at all; it appeared beautiful and sacred. But once in the bedroom, why did those winged clothes look so sensual? I don’t understand.

Was it because I felt like corrupting a sacred woman and bringing her down to my level…? I’m not sure…

I just feel sorry for Heeseon, having wasted those beautiful winged clothes on me.

If the attendants had intervened, maybe I could have restrained myself, but whether I was just lucky or if Yeon is aware of that unsightly incident, now, when we enter the bedroom together, no one knocks on the door anymore.

Phew…

Oh, and since we hardly left the room, out of curiosity, Sarri came in and ended up being thoroughly tormented by me.

I’m still quite inexperienced, and Heeseon fainted, which made me lose control a bit…

Her expressionless face was so cute and surprising, I got overly excited…

Being tormented so much, it’s no wonder I ended up catching a cold.

Heeseon is probably awake by now, healing herself and Sarri with her skills.

-“My lord… I just want to sleep a little more… I planned to go with you, but it’s too exhausting… Don’t worry, I’ll take care of Sarri when I wake up, so go alone. I have separate plans after lunch…”

So, after exchanging kisses on Heeseon’s forehead, who was murmuring softly, and on Sarri, who was deeply asleep, I came to my teacher’s house alone.

“Well, I let slip a few words, but what I mean is, aren’t you overly concerned about a position that’s merely a nominal title, despite being a seasoned hunter for over a dozen years?”

“…Yes.”

“Haha, sometimes you seem so bold, and other times incredibly timid…”

“…Well, living as a condemned hunter for decades and suddenly receiving an official position, that’s how it is.”

Isn’t that right? What do I care about official positions?

It would be enough if Heeseon gave them to me. That would be more than plenty…

“Hmm… Perhaps because of your current appearance, I even considered giving you an official position intentionally. Although I couldn’t participate in your appointment ceremony due to my vacation, even if I had been involved, I would have strongly recommended granting you the position.”

“Oh, that’s not because I’m your master’s disciple, right?”

Upon my joking response to the teacher’s words, the teacher chuckled once and then shook his head.

“Haha… Even if you weren’t my disciple, I might have still recommended you for the position. Sorry to say, it’s not just out of affection for a student but also because of your abilities.”

“Ah!”

I seemed to understand what he meant.

Even after passing the trial, my dangerous ability continued to make the deities wary.

Just as they say a position shapes a person, they probably created a sense of responsibility within me by utilizing my character to always be cautious.

“Yes, you’re right. In a way, the position bestowed upon you could serve as a means to emotionally bind you. Haha… While others may lament even the smallest heavenly positions, for you, it’s like wearing shackles… Humans truly are fascinating creatures, each so different… Haha…”

“Well… receiving the position felt incredibly burdensome, but thinking of it as shackles actually puts my mind at ease. Well, I won’t be managing anything in Heaven anyway, it’s just a title, so I should consider it as non-existent. Oh! Of course, I will always be cautious of my abilities.”

“Haha, that’s good… However, disciple,”

“Yes..! Please speak. Teacher.”

What mistake did I make to warrant such a serious look from the teacher?

Suddenly, with a solemn expression, the teacher addressed me.

“Even if it may be a bit overwhelming for you to consider, I hope you will cherish the position you’ve been given.”

“……”

Cherish it? Just being thankful would suffice…

“The star of the banquet was none other than you. Of course, Heesun played a significant role too, but ultimately, the gratitude centered around you for rescuing Heesun and safely bringing her back to Heaven.”

“Oh…!”

“However, if the gift given to such a grateful person merely serves as symbolic shackles, it would be quite heartbreaking for both the giver and the receiver.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, teacher…! I never intended to…”

“Haha, I know you well. It’s just that the position bestowed upon you isn’t merely a titular duty or a means of oppressing you.”

“So…”

“Firstly, it signifies that you are now fully accepted as a resident of Heaven. Once you hold this position, you are no longer an outsider.”

“……”

Oh… not an outsider….

That statement stirred a mix of emotions in me—gratitude, guilt, and something else, leaving me feeling somewhat strange.

Yes… having received a position in a kingdom, it must hold some significance.

Perhaps, under the guise of feeling burdened, I inadvertently neglected people’s feelings too much….

“Secondly, it’s akin to a certification, wouldn’t you say?”

“A certification…?”

“Yes, a certification. This position not only serves as a reminder for you to be cautious when using your abilities but also grants you a legitimate reason that other deities should not interfere with you unless there’s a major issue when you voluntarily use your powers on Earth.”

“Oh…”

“Lastly… it’s like your access pass. Do you know why nymphs can only descend to Earth to bathe once a month? Or why the disputes regarding Heesun’s loyalty prevented them from descending recklessly even during her absence?”

“Because they lack the qualification?”

“Haha, exactly. By the way, when do you plan to descend to Earth?”

“I’ll probably go down within this week. I have some friends to meet, so I’ll see them and return immediately…”

“You seem quite popular, don’t you? Have you already made friends here? Could they be the fated ones you met at the banquet hall?”

“Haha, not exactly. There were some youngsters who came to see me before the banquet. I agreed to meet them. I heard from a messenger that His Majesty has granted permission and will be visiting soon. Um… but why is the date for descending to the mortal realm suddenly…?”

“Hmm… those youngsters… I think I might know who they are… eternal children of the Heavenly Realm… It seems like your younger sibling has come to find you… Oh! Anyway, if you didn’t take up an official position this time, you wouldn’t have been able to descend to the mortal realm as you pleased. If nothing unusual happens, you would have had to live in the Heavenly Realm for your whole life.”

“Oh really?”

“Exactly. As you mentioned, you lacked the qualifications. You may have entered secretly, but leaving won’t be so easy.”

“But even the deities and teachers freely move between the mortal realm and the Heavenly Realm…”

“Haha, what do you think those deities possess?”

“… Official positions.”

“That’s right. In reality, although departing is departing, sneaking into the mortal realm like you did is a very sensitive crime from the perspective of the Heavenly Realm. There was a time when a certain celestial being tried to elongate my nose to enter, and His Majesty was extremely displeased and punished that individual severely. Oh, and how the goblins tried to sneak into the Heavenly Realm…”

“….”

“So, the official position you took up to return to the mortal realm was also for your benefit. Therefore, as your teacher, I want to remind you to carry a sense of responsibility, be cautious of your abilities, and also consider that His Majesty and the residents of the Heavenly Realm are extremely grateful to you.”

“… I will keep that in mind. Teacher.”

It felt good to have visited the teacher.

Nevertheless, I feel so sorry…

I must have descended to the mortal realm thinking it would be a good gift for the Heavenly Realm and His Majesty, but seeing the discomfort of the recipient, I wonder how awkward it must have been for the giver of the gift?

How burdened I was when I first received the official position.

Back then, I thought that by taking up the position, I would immediately become a deity, becoming the youngest deity after the teacher, and being at the mercy of the master and senior deities for life, which was a terrifying thought.

Heesun reassured me that it was just a duty on paper, so I felt somewhat relieved, but it continued to weigh on my mind…

However, realizing that this official position meant that they accepted me as family, that they were granting me the authority to use my abilities without restraint, and that it was a kind of pass allowing me to move back and forth between the mortal realm and the Heavenly Realm comfortably, once I understood that, the burden lifted, leaving only gratitude towards the Heavenly Realm that granted me this official position.

“Thank you, Teacher. Thanks to you, I feel much more at ease.”

“Hehehe…”

“But Teacher, why did you smile so meaningfully when I received the official position? It looked like the expression you had when you heard news about new recruits… It made me misunderstand unnecessarily. Oh, maybe you won’t understand if I put it this way? Hmm… it seemed like a senior freeing a junior from troublesome tasks.”

“….”

“Teacher…?”

“….”

Why are you not answering?

… No, right?

I haven’t become a deity, have I? I definitely haven’t become your successor, right?

.

.

.

Dongbangsak smiled as he watched his disciple leave with contentment.

How many innocent and naive newcomers were there, attending the banquet to see their future master, imagining the face of the newborn baby?

Whether goddesses or male deities, everyone maintained such a solemn silence until the performance began, busy admiring the disciple’s innocence.

That’s why the banquet day couldn’t be any less exciting.

My disciple is the benefactor of the Heavenly Realm and my student! I boasted to my colleagues and senior disciples until my mouth ran dry.

Outstanding appearance, exceptional abilities, and a righteous character.

A disciple who embodies all of these qualities without exception.

Any master would be proud to have such a disciple.

If this disciple continues to grow as they are now, perhaps becoming a new senior disciple wouldn’t be out of reach.

However, the concern lies in whether there are times when they appear to be more detached than even monks, devoid of desires.

Although it seems they display intense emotions only to my female disciples, to others, they possess the composure of a seasoned monk.

No, rather than seasoned…

Should I say they excessively restrain and suppress their desires?

How can such a young person exist?

Even most residents of the Heavenly Realm, where only sages gather, are eager to hold positions of authority by any means necessary, yet this person remains so composed after receiving an appointment directly from the sovereign himself…

Just like my old friend, the Stone Monkey, when he received the appointment of the Great Sage, an appointment made directly by the sovereign is a kind of independent position.

Just below the sovereign.

In other words, it’s no different from being at the top.

Perhaps if I had told that child this fact directly, they would have been determined to refuse the appointment somehow…

Even if it meant they could never return to the mortal realm.

Being a persistent child, they would eventually find another way back to the mortal realm.

Such a commendable disciple, yet…

Dongbangsak felt deeply pitiful.

How burdened and wounded they were in their short life.

That day, through a cloth, I could read my disciple’s emotions.

They are deeply immersed in self-loathing.

Thinking themselves despicable, believing they are unforgivable.

From each scar etched on their heart emanates a strong sense of self-reproach…

Perhaps the sole reason they do not kill the self they despise so much is simply because their family loves that self.

Their reluctance towards the appointment must be part of that.

Why? Why me, a wretch like myself? I am a sinner. An unforgivable sinner.

With such thoughts…

Like a jailer treating themselves as a criminal, searching for reasons to hate even a little bit, they cannot tolerate the situation of craving power and nurturing base desires any more pathologically.

To prevent themselves from hating beyond a certain point, they must strictly adhere to the standards of righteousness they have set for themselves.

Therefore, my disciple’s detachment and lack of desire are closer to subconscious self-preservation.

The reason they did not seem relieved at the notion of the appointment being shackles was quite obvious.

That was why.

I urged them not to think of the appointment as just shackles.

Dongbangsak wished for the disciple to forgive themselves even a little, to cherish and love themselves a bit more.

Hence, while setting aside the other meanings of this appointment,

I emphasized only the aspects that showed the gratitude of the people of the Heavenly Realm towards the disciple and that the disciple was worthy of receiving such gratitude.

For now, they seem to have somewhat accepted it…

“Hehe, the road ahead is long… They probably need to address the vengeful resentment in their heart first…”

Truly a challenging yet rewarding disciple to teach.