episode_0176

“……”

I stare blankly at the sky outside.

The dark sky.

Stars that seem densely packed in the rural area.

The moon emitting a faint light.

Suddenly, I realize that I’ve been looking at the sky more often lately.

“My little brother said that if you look at the sky a lot, you become an adult.”

He said that as you have more things to worry about and more responsibilities to take care of, you naturally start looking up at the sky.

At the moment, I just did it without much thought.

But I couldn’t help but think that in the past, this was how people sought gods.

Contemplating, looking up at the sky, and calling out to the divine.

Well, I never really thought of having a religion myself.

And since I didn’t believe that all problems could be solved by some omnipotent power, I left it at that.

“Did you handle it well?”

Senior Juhee suddenly approached me.

He came without making a sound, but I wasn’t particularly surprised.

There was a strong smell of cigarettes on him, as if he had just smoked in the smoking area.

“I talked to Isor and Arin earlier. I heard that Gyuah helped find them. And it seems like you spent some time with Yerin just now.”

I finally finished the conversation with the three people I aimed to talk to.

It was simpler than I thought, but the results turned out to be the opposite of what I expected.

“So, did the kids understand? Their expressions didn’t seem too difficult.”

“Well, Senior.”

Yes, there was a need for someone to consult with.

But I wondered if it had to be Senior Juhee. It hadn’t been long since I rejected his confession.

“Go ahead. It’s okay.”

But Senior Juhee remained a senior, as always.

He seemed to be willing to listen to my consultation as if he had already sorted out his feelings for me.

“Actually.”

I briefly explained the responses I received from them while clenching my forehead.

The story only took about 5 minutes.

I didn’t go into detail, just reported the results.

Before I knew it, Senior Juhee was also staring blankly at the moon with a cigarette in his mouth.

“Oh, sorry. I shouldn’t smoke in front of someone who doesn’t.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“I have a habit of smoking while thinking. So, you said you would reject everyone, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“So, did you try to date Oyunji?”

“…Probably, no.”

I knew I had to talk to Oyunji again someday.

But when I thought about my relationship with the kids, I hesitated to date someone else.

“You look tired.”

Senior Juhee muttered as he looked at me.

Tired?

“It seems like you’re tired from bothering the kids.”

“That’s not it.”

Senior Juhee might have said that out of concern for me, but I couldn’t say I was tired.

I didn’t want to be troubled by someone who liked me, nor did I want to express that I was tired.

I had never thought of it that way.

“……”

After my response, Senior Juhee exhaled smoke and patted my back.

“Let’s go inside. They rented a hall for a game of Janggi.”

“There’s a hall in the pension?”

“There are quite a few places prepared in that direction because many schools come for MT these days.”

I see.

But a game of Janggi.

It seemed like it would be fun to watch the first-year students dance and sing.

As I walked towards the hall with Senior Juhee, the kids were already sitting on the floor, watching the stage.

At the back, the professors were also present, enjoying a can of beer each.

“After this, they’ll probably start drinking in earnest.”

There was still some meat left, and there were plenty of side dishes piled up in the dining area.

They were probably trying to liven up the mood before drinking.

The second and third-year students had separate seats, so they went there.

Choi Isu, who was standing slightly away from the kids, gestured to me.

It seemed like she was ready to go up to the stage whenever the professors called her.

“Woojin.”

Heading towards Choi Iseo, I was called by Senior Juhee.

With a cool expression, she patted my back again.

“Don’t worry too much. Just cool your head for now.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Without saying much, Senior Juhee coolly showed her back and headed towards the third-year seats.

There weren’t many third-years, but the fact that she never confessed to me was truly a relief.

“Thank goodness.”

I almost lost a good senior.

Senior Juhee was cool and awesome, and I was truly grateful.

“Have you talked to Yerin?”

Choi Iseo asked as we got closer.

I replied nonchalantly without much reaction.

“Yeah, I talked to her. I warned her not to fight for no reason next time.”

“Good job.”

“What about you? You said you talked to the first and third-years.”

“Well, I did talk.”

You talked, but?

“You know, in the end, rumors are uncontrollable.”

“That’s true.”

Especially since I was the administrator of the Bamboo Forest, I knew it even better.

Here, big and small lies are often believed to be true and spread like wildfire.

“Oh, it’s starting now.”

Choi Iseo didn’t say anything else.

As the chess tournament began, she only added that the kids had worked hard to prepare.

“Hello, students of the Department of English Language and Literature at Gahyeon University. I am Hyunho Ahn, a sophomore in the Department of Applied Music, and the MC for this chess tournament.”

Hyunho grabbed the microphone.

Surprisingly, he looked good and his friendly nature led to a good response from the students.

The auditorium darkened.

The lights came on as the first-year students danced and sang.

It was a sight to behold.

The first-year students seemed innocent and naive, to the point where I wondered if they were really talking behind my back.

The other students laughed and chatted as they watched.

Amidst this, a phone call rang from my pocket.

– Yoonji –

Seeing her name on the phone was more moving than I had expected.

Just half a year ago, I was always waiting for a call from this number.

But now, seeing her name made me feel awkward.

I left Choi Iseo and went outside.

Since everyone was gathered in the auditorium, there was no one around, and I could comfortably take the call.

“Hello?”

– Hello. Are you on a retreat right now?

“Yeah, the kids are having a chess tournament. They’ll probably go for drinks after this.”

– There must be a lot of people, right?

“A lot of people.”

– You always hated that kind of thing.

“……Yeah.”

That was true.

Should I call her Yoonji after all?

Honestly, Yoonji knew me better than anyone at school in terms of my personality and preferences.

I wanted to share everything with her.

I thought talking like this with an ex-girlfriend was something only done in the US.

“Why did you call?”

Yoonji answered my question matter-of-factly.

– Oh, I wanted to thank you for the Poco incident. Thanks to you, I started broadcasting again.

The Bamboo Forest must have been in chaos.

I was worried it would be flooded with comments.

“Oh, that’s why you called. Keep it up. I don’t really watch broadcasts.”

– Okay, I’ll pass it on.

I thought the conversation was over, so I was about to hang up.

– What’s wrong?

Her voice didn’t sound overly concerned.

But because of that, her casual question resonated with me even more.

It didn’t put pressure on me, and I almost poured out all my worries without realizing it.

“Why? Do I look off?”

I didn’t think I was any different from usual.

– Just the atmosphere? You know I’m good at picking up on these things.

“Yeah, you are. Thanks to you, I couldn’t hide anything.”

– Hehe, that’s right. Remember that time? You joined the band club without telling me and got caught.

“Why do you keep poking at old wounds?”

– You joined the band club just to sing a love song, didn’t you.

“Sigh, you’re right.”

Back in my first year of high school, I had some aspirations for club activities.

So, I tried to join the band club, but I remember that everyone there was a girl.

But that wasn’t the issue.

– It was an anime club, not a band club. And they had unique tastes.

“…It was really dizzying when they asked if I had a girlfriend or a boyfriend.”

– Of course, I mistook it for a band anime cosplay. Ugh, I must have looked weird there. I told you to pay attention. They don’t usually accept people in the band club.

“I know. That’s why I left right away.”

Yoonji was casually nagging.

What should I say?

It was a conversation that brought back memories of past relationships.

– …I remember when we were dating.

It seemed Yoonji felt the same way.

She casually looked up at the sky.

“Yoonji.”

Now that I think about it, that’s true.

“Let’s break up.”

I hadn’t said it yet.

– ….

“Now, I feel like I can say it.”

Breaking up required courage.

After a long time, I was able to gather the courage to say goodbye.

Yoonji remained silent, but I continued speaking.

“Just, it was just something from when we were in college.”

Something easily overlooked.

Something you go through at least once.

It was just that kind of time.

“It may be difficult and painful.”

I knew that all too well from experience.

“But as you live busily, one day, you’ll be able to laugh and pass it off, wondering why you liked that person.”

And I…

“Wanted to be that person for you.”

Someone you could laugh off, feeling embarrassed about having dated.

That’s who I wanted to be.

There was no response for a while.

No sobbing, no heavy breathing.

Just waiting for her to gather her thoughts.

– President Kim asked me why I liked you.

My younger brother?

– He asked if there was a reason I liked you enough to put in this much effort. If there was a trigger.

That made me pause for a moment too.

When did I start liking Yoonji?

I didn’t have a clear memory.

She just confessed, and I naturally accepted it.

– Life must be like a drama.

Laughter flowed in.

– You end up liking someone because of a certain situation. It’s actually quite rare.

That’s true.

Even when Yoonji confessed to me.

We were just eating ice cream and walking.

– Love doesn’t just happen.

“….”

– You realize it at some point. That you were already in love with that person.

While eating ice cream, Yoonji suddenly confessed, and now I felt like I understood the reason.

– Breaking up is inevitable.

She didn’t seem sad.

Even though she declared the breakup, Yoonji was smiling at me.

– One day, when I remember you.

Her firm words contained conviction.

– I’ll smile, knowing that you were someone worth liking. You are that person.

Quietly comforting me like a faint moonlight.

Always confident.

Quick-witted.

Acting with conviction, but showing a delicate side occasionally.

And only to me.

I remembered what I had forgotten.

It was these qualities.

It was because of these qualities that I liked this girl.