episode_0172

I couldn’t tell everything honestly.

Of course, I don’t know if they’ll believe me, but I’m telling them everything about my past…

Hmm, what should I say?

It’s a little burdensome.

First of all, of all the people here, the one I gave the most heart to… Umm, let me correct that a little.

So, it wasn’t something I said directly to the anonymous person I had known for the longest time, but it just happened that coincidence after coincidence made it known.

How can I tell them the whole truth?

I don’t know if I had the courage, but I’m naturally timid and cowardly.

So, what I’m saying is that I couldn’t tell everything.

… Well, it was just an excuse in the end.

Anyway, so what did you introduce it to?

I felt guilty about lying to those who trusted me and waited for an answer, so I tried to express myself as honestly and candidly as possible.

My hometown was introduced as a huge continent in the east, farther than the end of the world.

Even the slightly different lifestyles, clothing, and speech were explained in detail, so everyone understood.

… Well, if you look closely, it’s a lie, but you can’t necessarily see it that way.

When I first came here, I thought it was all based on fantasy, because the scenery was so similar to the West where I was.

Strictly speaking, not all of them are lies.

And, you know what?

I wonder if the place I was really in the east.

“Is the East where perverts live?”

“… Rice, a pervert?”

“Look at grandma’s clothes.”

Sure, there were some minor issues that arose there… but nothing major.

“… This is my personal preference.”

Even in my hometown, there was no one who wore clothes like this… .

Because I wouldn’t call you a pervert for exposing yourself to this extent.

… isn’t it?

“Then, only the old lady is a pervert.”

“What.”

Anyway, the story has digressed for a moment.

“I wasn’t originally a martial artist.”

To help you understand, let’s use this as an analogy. I was a cadet at the academy.

Among them, he studied literature, not martial arts. He was a truly ordinary person.

“… Are you saying that the Lord Cheonharang didn’t practice martial arts?”

“That’s right.”

“Isn’t that strange? When you think of the current Cheonharang, it’s a bit far-fetched to think that he didn’t train in martial arts.”

Lucius’s doubts were valid.

Well, anyone who sees me now would think that way.

“But it’s true.”

And, this is where the important story starts.

The reason why I started practicing martial arts.

The reason why I, who used to live in the East, suddenly came here and started living there.

“Lucius, I was brought here by the nameless one you were chasing.”

“… That kind of.”

At my words, the expressions of Anonymous and Lucius darkened rapidly.

… Anonymous, he must also feel guilty because he thought that this was something he did.

Lucius probably thinks that this is because he was unable to subdue the nameless one.

He shrugged his shoulders at that thought and continued speaking.

“Well, Lucius. There’s no reason for you to make that face.”

To begin with, I was brought here 300 years ago. How can he stop it?

After confirming that Lucius’ expression had improved somewhat, he added.

“I was really confused at first.”

I was dropped into a strange land for no reason.

In such a situation, what could an ordinary, or rather a coward, do?

Even if I try to eat something to survive, I don’t have money.

There are no friends to help.

There is no family to lean on either.

There was no way to prove that I was me, something I had taken for granted until then.

No, there was no one to prove it.

But, it was so difficult that all of these things felt different.

“At that time, I had no reason to live.”

There was no goal.

What will be left if I can eat, sleep, and live comfortably here?

Even if we survive right now, what will be left?

Why am I alive?

The moment I thought of him, my cowardly nature started to struggle to survive.

Don’t people often call it a kaleidoscope?

It is said that when a person is about to die, they recall their memories in order to survive.

In order to survive, you have to extract as much information as possible.

In the process, I remembered this.

How I survive.

“That’s why I harbored hatred.”

I was afraid of death in my subconscious, so I created an imaginary goal to survive.

That too, the one I usually see the most.

It’s a resentment that the existence of ‘God’ was created, which may have been heavily influenced by novels, animations, and subcultures.

… Well, it’s basically an escape from reality.

Didn’t I vaguely know that?

Why would God bring a coward like me here?

Rather, I would call a child with a sense of mission like Lucius. A child with kindness like Elia. A child who doesn’t give up like Camilla.

“That’s why I wanted to kill your master and take revenge on my enemy. … Well, as I said before. Now that I think about it, my real enemy was the nameless one.”

Anyway, the point is this.

I started training in martial arts to avenge my enemies and to survive.

“And so, we reached this point.”

And, reaching a certain level means being strong enough to achieve my goals.

“I finally got it.”

After over 300 years of suffering.

“That means I can finally go back.”

To my hometown.

“Yes, it definitely was. It was a lie, but I thought I finally had my goal. I thought everything would work out.”

but.

“That son of a bitch is getting in the way of my goal, right in front of my nose.”

“… Lord?”

Lucius and Camilla, who had similarly disbelieving, wide-eyed Elia and had not very good expressions on their faces.

I looked at them and shrugged slightly.

“Well, I said it like this. But I understand.”

“… Yes? What do you mean… .”

“That guy’s position is also somewhat valid.”

That would be the case.

As much as I want to go home, that guy also wants to protect his hometown.

But that doesn’t give me any reason to give in to him.

I didn’t tell them, but my real goal is not to return home.

This is only a superficial reason.

I squinted my eyes and looked at the nameless person who was still by my side.

“Anonymous.”

“… Yes, Master.”

“Do you know why you fight with me?”

“I only know that the Master… is returning to his hometown… .”

“Good.”

You just need to know that much.

Of course, Cheonmumyung. You are the main reason.

I wonder if my disciple, Cheonmu-myeong, will repeat the same actions after I disappear.

I want to make sure that he is not an evil person who puts his own happiness first and harms others.

… Well, it’s not that I don’t understand why someone who was so unhappy would yearn for happiness.

If it is a way to harm others, can it really be considered right?

I don’t think so.

If the future was going to be happy because of me, you should have at least explained it to me, the person involved.

At least you didn’t drop me into this hellish abyss.

“Harangnim… ?”

He smiled awkwardly, blocking out the air that was leaking out at Elia’s call.

“Ah. Sorry. I got a little excited.”

I think I spoke a bit too strongly because I was a little excited, but… the gist of what I was saying was…

I think nature doesn’t change.

So, I think that if I ever return to my hometown… Anonymous will come looking for me.

Of course, it’s not just because I want to see you or because it’s a safe way.

In a way that is clearly evil, which is what that god-given guy is worried about.

“…”

Well, I guess that’s selfish.

Unlike the guy named Jushin who clearly argues from a good point of view, I act this way out of personal greed.

So, just as I initially thought.

Even if I tell this story to Lucius, Elia, and Camilla, I don’t think they’ll understand it one bit.

But still, I want to see it.

If Myeong-i doesn’t come to see me after I leave for my hometown. If she is a child who can give up her own happiness for my happiness.

If my idea that nature never changes is wrong.

…if nature can be changed.

“I can understand his thoughts, but… I really need to go back home.”

I want to see it with my own two eyes.

“So, don’t stop me.”

If nature could be changed.

“Do you understand?”

Because I can change too.

Actually, I hope so.

Anonymity is more important than one’s own happiness.

To put my happiness first.

But, will there be happiness if you return alone?

… I don’t know.

I’m not sure what I want to do.

To be a little more honest.

No matter what happens to this world.

I wish anonymous people would come to me.

I want you to put me first above all else.

I had a slightly selfish thought.

If that happens, we will realize the somewhat heartbreaking truth that nature does not change.

Because I will be able to be with Anonymous.

These thoughts of Cheonharang were formed deep in her subconscious.

She didn’t realize it.