episode_0166

It was after eating breakfast. Sometimes, if I really want to taste it, I eat Kylon’s semen, but other than that, my only meal is biscuits.

I absentmindedly recalled the story Kylon had told me.

The story about my real body that I heard from the goddess kept circling around in my head.

In the end, I barely managed to survive by eating that food, and then I collapsed after repeated starvation. It was a time when I had a lot to think about.

As I lowered my gaze and looked down the windy window, I couldn’t help but sigh.

hospital? Nonsense. There was no way a house like that would send me to the hospital.

I also wondered if the goddess was lying.

I would have rather reported the death. It was a house that did not have that much affection or the ability to spend money on hospital expenses for things like me.

So I was confident.

Because I wasn’t loved, there was no way I would have received the benefits.

I was just downloading a game, but before I could turn it on, I collapsed because my health was exhausted. It was clear that either no time had passed, or my body was already cold.

I was so sure.

Then my heart ached. A bitter laugh burst out.

It was a self-mocking laugh.

I couldn’t help but furrow my brows, thinking that I was such a fool for thinking that I would never have to go to the hospital because I wasn’t loved.

Even though I tried to dry my face with a dry face, tears ended up falling down my hands.

What should I really do? If I couldn’t return to my original body like this, I had to return to this body, but I wondered if there would be life if I returned to this body.

Are you from a different world? It was clear that even if I said that, I would quickly be labeled as an illegal immigrant or something.

Is it really the best way to just live here? Thinking so, Kylon carefully approached me and hugged me from behind.

“Wow,” his hard chest touched my bedside.

“What are you doing?”

“… Thoughts.”

“What are you thinking?”

“… Is it better to just live here? Thoughts.”

“Why?”

“Even if I go back, I can’t just live with the name Veronica. If I return to my original body, I will die like this. Even if I return to this body… ”

“Why die… ? They said he would be in the hospital.”

“… Kylon, don’t put too much faith in the goddess who is trying to kill us. Do you really think that the house I was in is going to send me to the hospital?”

A passing conversation. And at the last question, Kailon’s words stopped in his tracks.

Kailon sighed, “Ah,” and nodded as if he had committed a sin.

“Sorry, that’s right. sorry… ”

Kylon bit his lip tightly, thinking that he was short-thinking, that he trusted the goddess’s words too much, that he was hurting me.

I knew it because I tilted my head up.

Kailon, who lowered his head, met my gaze as I tilted my head up.

“… Do not be sorry. It’s not Kylon’s fault. Rather, if there really is no way… Should we live here?”

“I don’t know what form it will take, but when you and I return to this body, if our bodies are replaced, will you join me? I’ll do it for you Then there is no need to touch the family register… ”

“Still, your parents will recognize it right away… ?”

When I asked the question while sweating like that, Kailon sighed and answered by raising the corners of his mouth as if laughing at what I said.

“Do you think my parents would be that interested in me? No matter how my appearance changed after going to a plastic surgery clinic or how my personality changed, wouldn’t I say that it’s still the same? Because it’s my parents who only provide financial support and say goodbye.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

When I heard that, I felt sorry because I felt like I touched a bad part for no reason.

As I was embarrassed to apologize, Kailon hugged me and grinned.

“What do you have to be sorry about? I just lived like that and lived comfortably.”

Kylon’s voice seemed somewhat sad when he said that.

Before, he had said that he was lonely because he lived in such indifference, but now he just said that he was comfortable.

Could it be because of me? I tilted my head as I thought, but then I decided that was too much of a delusion, so I just lowered my head and looked out the window again.

Without moving on from the eighth village, I was just living this life.

Although we wanted to take our time, we had to prepare for threats that could come at any time, from any place, and in what form, so we could only move forward without much leisure.

When I’m dazed, will I have to be trained again? As I was thinking that, I moaned for a while and finally opened my mouth.

“Kylon, have you become much stronger?”

“Well, to some extent.”

“… Can we go back?”

“I need to be able to go back.”

It talks about a very uncertain future.

success? failure? I do not know. That’s why I was anxious, scared, and so scared that I wanted to scream that I couldn’t move forward.

But if you think about it, it’s the same even if it’s not at this moment.

My life, Kylon’s life, and someone else’s life all live for an uncertain future.

I might fail, but all I had to do was try to succeed.

Therefore, I do not say that it is a meaningless action.

We just strive for our future.

“Really? So, what do you want to do when you go back?”

I asked that.

Although it is uncertain, people dream and live, so they paint a picture of the landscape beyond the uncertain success.

If you succeed, if this becomes a reality, what do you want to do after that?

The landscape I drew like that gave me energy and motivation to move forward more vigorously.

Then Kylon answers me.

“… I want to watch a movie with you, go to an amusement park, wear couple outfits, and go up to the observatory. It would be nice if we put up a lock or something together. I want to try out various things and go shopping, and I also want to go to the game room and play games together. Also, I want to go on a trip. I like it both domestically and internationally.”

Kailon answered my question without hesitation as if there were many things he wanted to do.

But it was always an uncertain story of success.

If we don’t have enough strength here and can’t achieve that dream, then what should we do?

That anxiety made me think of the worst situation again.

“… So, what if I can’t go back? What if we break up like this?”

“Don’t say things like that.”

Kylon looked with a straight face.

Even though I was just being held with my back facing me like this, I couldn’t tell without looking how serious Kylon was, so my body started shaking.

But I ask Kailon again.

“If things continue like this, we may end up breaking up. Is there anything you want to do before that happens?”

What if we fight like this and lose?

Because I didn’t have that firm mind, believing that I would win unconditionally.

What if everything always gets ruined because of me? I asked that question because I lived with such worries.

Then, Kylon fell silent and then opened his mouth with difficulty, probably because he knew that I would continue to ask questions.

“… What can I do here?”

“Yes.”

“What do you want to do before the devil separates us?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, what should I do? There is no movie theater here, no amusement park, no observatory, no place to lock… I’m embarrassed.”

I glanced up at Kylon, and found him looking at me with a bitter expression.

He mumbled like that and then continued speaking calmly.

“… There’s no time to go far, I just want to hold hands.”

In response to Kylon’s small wish, I fumbled with my hand and then placed my hand on Kylon’s hand that was hugging me. Then, with a gentle touch, he pulled the hand down, held it, and clasped it.

“… My wish came true. What’s next?”

“I want to hug you face to face.”

I took my hand away from Kailon and turned around. When I looked up at Kylon, he looked like he was going to cry.

As if to comfort Kailon, I hugged him tightly.

It wasn’t like he was just hugging me. I was also in a position to hug Kailon.

The posture of embracing each other.

“… My wish has come true. What’s next?”

“Together, we spent the day like this, whispering love… ”

I’m shaking.

Kailon also knows that dying is actually scary.

Always telling only hopeful stories is like turning a blind eye to a hopeless situation.

It could be said that Kylon was different from me because he never had the worst situation in mind.

“I want to kiss you.”

So maybe Kailon was very confused by my question right now.

What if I die while fighting like this? do.

If that happens, I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything for Kylon, who said he likes me and loves me. I felt like I would really regret it if that happened, so I just said his name.

“… Kylon.”

I was actually scared.

I, who had never received love before, wondered if it was okay to receive such undeserved love, so I rejected it, tried to avoid it, and tried to look away.

Thank you for loving me like this.

I don’t feel this way because you are the only one in this world. never.

Because it was you who made me feel this way, you became unique.

“… … .”

“I love you.”

For the first time, I was faced with genuine emotions.

So I got on tiptoe.

Let us love without regrets.