Chapter Index

    I bent my back 90 degrees, bowed my head, and apologized to everyone at Jinsoo Church.

    The vice-student president who didn’t know English, Yuri who stopped on the spot and watched me from behind instead of leaving the stage, and even the crowd that was buzzing.

    For some reason, I was even more nervous than when I was playing guitar and singing earlier, but I decided to tackle it head on anyway.

    I can’t hesitate any longer.

    I straightened my back, grabbed the microphone, and spoke to everyone.

    “I feel embarrassed even to say it with my own mouth… It’s embarrassing, but until last year… no, even before the start of school, my real life barracks was trash. ”

    People didn’t say anything.

    “I was struggling to live like a human from this year on because something had caught my eye, but there were too many things I did before that and there are probably a lot of people who suffered because of that.”

    Only then did people get a little upset.

    It’s not that it’s not, because there are probably more than one person who suffered damage because of me.

    Even though I never directly used violence against ordinary kids, it was a fact that anyone but an idiot would know that I actually encouraged the people under them to rob and beat them, and made extravagances with the stolen money.

    “I don’t know what I’ll do in the future, but I don’t think anyone will believe me if I say sorry belatedly after I graduate. Why is there such a thing? Even if a celebrity or athlete apologizes after being exposed for school violence, it is an empty apology… I may not be able to become a celebrity or athlete, though.”

    The people still gathered just made a fuss, not knowing how to react.

    “So, I really wanted to apologize to everyone before I graduate at the latest. When I thought about it, it seemed like my only chance would be now. To everyone who has suffered harm in any way because of me, I am truly sorry. And for those of you who suffered in middle school or before… There may be more people who are not here, but I wanted to apologize to them in some way.”

    And I got down on my knees.

    After kneeling on stage and bowing my head in apology, I took the microphone again.

    “I also know that just apologizing verbally won’t do anything. If you have suffered financial losses because of me, please let me know at any time, and I will definitely refund your money. Those who have suffered violence because of me, you can slap me, kick me, or spit in my face. I will kneel down and remain silent until your anger subsides. You can also inform those who have suffered the same damage among those who do not attend our academy.

    I swear with my life that I will never retaliate or do anything. If you want, I can write a contract and stamp it. If I break it, you can report it to the police and put me in jail. I won’t even dare ask you to forgive me. However, please just believe that I am truly ashamed of my past and regret it.”

    I knelt down and bowed my head once again.

    “I am truly sorry once again. I was really wrong.”

    I stood up and bent my back to 90 degrees for the last time.

    About half of the Jinsugyo members applauded in encouragement, while about half simply remained silent.

    “Sorry again for ruining the mood at the end of the festival. Well… please let the hosts take care of themselves.”

    Only then did laughter erupt from the crowd, and I quietly passed the microphone to the vice president of the student council and returned to the waiting room behind the stage.

    I felt a bit sorry for pouring cold water on the end of the dinner party that ended on a good note, but I felt like I would never have a chance to show my resolve in front of the entire school if this wasn’t the case.

    When winter break starts in about two months, I will actually graduate, but if it weren’t for today, I wouldn’t be able to say this in front of all the first, second, and third year students.

    Returning to the waiting room, Yuri hurriedly wiped his sweat and drank water to finish the last meeting and scolded me.

    “What, really! Why did you suddenly do that, I was shocked!”

    “Ah… I’m sorry, Yuri. I guess if I tell you in advance, they’ll somehow stop you from doing it…”

    “How do you think the girlfriend felt when she had to watch from behind while her boyfriend knelt down and apologized in front of so many people?! I really can’t survive! Why did you make such a big deal out of it, you’re not Eunji!”

    “But it was still necessary.”

    “Ha… I’m strangely stubborn… I have to finish social studies right away, so see you later. I’ll leave first.”

    “Okay, see you later, Yuri.”

    Yuri immediately picked up the cue sheet she had left in the waiting room and went off stage again.

    To finish as an emcee, not as a festival participant.

    Then, I came out to the back, pushed through the crowd, and sat down where our class was, where Sooyeon and Eunji were sitting.

    Suyeon and Eunji looked at me and said something similar to Yuri.

    “Senior, I enjoyed the song. I heard the guitar is really sticky? But is what you said earlier okay?”

    “My words. There must be more than one or two people who want you, so how can you handle it like this?”

    “Eunji, I don’t know anything else, but do I have to listen to you asking why I’m doing things that I can’t handle?”

    “Ugh…! Well, that’s different! I was just embarrassed, but the ones who really wanted you will come!”

    “Senior, why don’t you just say you were wrong and end it now? It’s because I’m anxious.”

    “Sorry, guys. But you all know that I wasn’t the kind of person who could just get away with words.”

    “……”

    The two people said nothing.

    Even if they were my current girlfriends, I couldn’t possibly deny that.

    “I will never let you guys harm me. Because it’s my responsibility alone. Oh, Eunji, your friend from middle school said that if you still haven’t forgotten what happened, you can come and do whatever you want until you feel better. And even if someone comes to see me and does something, I hope they don’t say anything and don’t interfere.”

    “Senior…” “Seongjin…”

    #####

    The next day, the Jinsu Festival was over, but the entire Jinsu Bridge was still enjoying the afterglow of the festival.

    Some children were hoarse from singing, others had muscle pain from dancing vigorously or participating in a physical talent show, and since the festival-themed clean-up had not yet been completed, the scene in each classroom was still no different from yesterday’s festival day.

    Since Yuri and I were the only ones in our class who directly participated in the individual/team talent show, our class was buzzing about it.

    “Hey, Han Seongjin! You play the guitar really well, right? Look at this video, it was filmed yesterday.”

    “When did you start learning guitar? Can you tell me too?”

    And the girls also went to Yuri and started talking about yesterday’s performance.

    “Yuri, you sing really well!”

    “Did you know that honey drips from your eyes when you sing? Is Han Seong-jin that good?”

    “My, when did I shed honey from my eyes…”

    Our class was generally accepting that I had changed a lot, and the atmosphere was very good because no one was directly harmed by me or the group.

    Thanks to this, boys approach me without hesitation and talk about yesterday’s festival, and even girls who are not that close to me do not shy away from me openly.

    But of course, not all Jinsu-gyo kids could have the same mood.

    “Ha, Seongjin Han… he’s here.”

    A short boy came to our class carrying a school bag and asked with a trembling voice.

    It looked like he had just started school.

    Silence quickly fell on our class, which was talking about various things, and everyone looked at me.

    After roughly guessing what was going on, I walked over to the short boy who had come to see me, ignoring the boys around him.

    Yuri, Eunji, and Suyeon hurriedly followed me, looking very worried.

    “Uh, what’s going on.”

    “You… you said it yesterday. I will accept anything… The kids who suffered from you…”

    “Yes, that’s right.”

    At my words, the boy looked like he was about to cry and took off his school uniform shirt to show his left shoulder.

    There were several red spots left there, like tiny cupping marks.

    As soon as I saw it, I knew what the mark was.

    ‘It’s a cigarette bun.’

    And the boy spoke in a trembling voice.

    “Do you know what this is?! Last year, I told the truth when my teacher found me when I went home after cleaning duty… You, the guys who used to hang out with me all the time, dragged me to an empty lot and burned me with cigarette marks! Chi, my friends stayed away for fear of getting involved, so I don’t have any friends… uh, how… you, because of you…”

    “…… I’m sorry.”

    As I said that, I knelt down in front of the boy whose name I couldn’t even remember.

    “It’s true that I was really wrong and I’m sorry. Now, there is no way for me to get that time back… but you can do whatever you want until you feel relieved.”

    Perhaps because he sensed that I was going to kneel down and not fight back at all, the boy started crying and picked up his school bag.

    Hwiik-

    Wow!

    Then he put his entire weight on it and swung the bag at my head.

    He was small in stature and had never committed such a violent act before, so his every move was sloppy, but it still hurt tremendously, perhaps because he was swinging his bag full of textbooks with his weight.

    The surface of the school bag rubbed around the temples, causing a sharp pain, and many people, including Yuri, Eunji, and Suyeon, screamed when they saw it.

    “Aaaaa!!”

    “Seo, senior!”

    “Seongjin! Hey, wait a minute! This-”

    “Don’t intervene!”

    I knelt down and blocked my girlfriends.

    “All you have to do is pay for your sins. Don’t intervene and stay still. If you can’t see it, just go into the classroom.”

    Wow!

    The bag was swung again and hit the other side of the temple.

    The boy’s retaliation continued for a while, as if his anger didn’t go away, and I knelt down and continued to receive the blows.

    “흐윽… 큭… 이 씨발새끼… 개새끼…”

    “I’m sorry.”

    Wow!

    “I was wrong.”

    Wow!

    “I’m really sorry.”

    Whoa whoa!

    I didn’t count how many hits he got, but the boy’s anger continued for quite a while.

    The boy’s classmates, who couldn’t see him, came over and stopped him.

    “Hey, stop now, stop.”

    “Hey, this is enough. Let’s stop getting angry and go to class. Who can take me with you?”

    “Kiheuuu…

    Perhaps because the boy had finally let go of his resentment, or perhaps because he lost strength after hitting him, he put down his school bag and started whimpering and crying before being carried to his classroom by his friends.

    Many people who were filming the scene with their cell phones stopped filming only when Yuri, Eunji, and Suyeon came running towards me after the situation was over.

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